job search

starting the whole process again. actually, have done it on a low key since 2 months back... so far, nothing. job market is indeed slow. might just throw letter without a job. things are getting from bad to worst and arrows are flying. just today, my boss throws me a spanner to give a talk to the industry. he's supposed to be the one but with only 2 months to go, he decided to arrow me. it is a sure lose-lose for me cos on one hand he says he gives me the freedom to scope the speech, on the other hand, he wants me to use the session to criticize the regulators... damned! criticize the gahmen? you must be crazy! and it is not a simple speech, the time given is 1-blooming hour! 

anyway, that is not the key reason (although it does contribute to it)... the are just too many factors that are cornering me to big time failure - no support from big boss, restrictions in hiring while the ops demands has increased by almost double, no desire by big bosses to listen to issues at hand (which are largely legacy issues caused in part by my immediate boss), little ghost (xiao gui) poking and creating tensions at backend, conflicting demands by other business unit heads that the big bosses refuse to moderate and instead choosing to take sides or ignore, acute favouritism, increasing politicking due to percieved tensions, increased resignation rates amongst management staff, scolding when you do good becos big bosses say you are not doing your worth, scolding when targets not met becos big bosses say you are not putting in effort, scolding instead of coaching, staff poaching yet piling more work onto me... the list goes on...

yup, totally no more motivation to work. need to go for my own health. but have to time it carefully. can only do it after aug so that i can refinance my house first... also, hopefully the europe-side down crash overnight cos it would impact my refinancing capabilities.

wish me luck...