my sister called me up this morning when i was in the midst of a discussion overseas. she was perturbed by the fact that a man had demanded from my niece s$500 for reversing her car into his scooter. my sis felt he was trying to rip my niece off and wanted to ask if that amount demanded was reasonable. apparently, what happened was that my niece had left a note apologizing for knocking the scooter down. and despite seeing that it had not suffer any major damage, my niece had also left a note with her contact details. so, the man called up and asked for compensation.
i told my sis to talk to the workshop and asked for a breakdown of the cost and hung up.
when i returned home in the evening, i called my sis and asked her if she had managed to check. she replied she did and managed to reduce the amount to s$400. when i spoke to her, she sounded rather crossed. i asked why and she said she was angry with my niece for leaving a note. she said my niece was young and naive and that she should have simply stood up the scooter and drive off. she said if my niece had done that, she would not have had to spend s$400...
for a while, i kept quiet. then i commented on her reaction. i told her that she has had her focus placed on the wrong areas! the key thing in this incident was not about the money. it was about the value system. and if you asked me, i thought the money spent was certainly well worth it! cos for the s$400, my niece now knows she needs to be careful when reversing her car and that she also now knows how to check if people are lying. these are life's lessons that can never be taught in school. more importantly, the incident showed that my niece had shown great courage in acknowledging her mistake and strong values in having the integrity to want to compensate for the damage. also, that for that amount, my sis now has the clearest indication that her way of bringing up her daughters is a correct one. these are all priceless! thus, my sis should instead feel happy and proud. happy for that fact that she had been able to inculcate in her daughter a good value system. and proud of her daughter as she had displayed excellent values. she should have praised her daughter rather that chided her. in chiding her over the money, she had sent out the signal that values can be tweet to suit your own whimps and fancies and for selfish reasons. and in doing so, would it not be akin to telling them that it is ok to kill someone over some money if the money belongs to you? as parents, it is important to not only inculcate right values, it is also (if not, even more) important to reinforce these lessons consistently. or else, we might end up confusing our kids!
no?
i told my sis to talk to the workshop and asked for a breakdown of the cost and hung up.
when i returned home in the evening, i called my sis and asked her if she had managed to check. she replied she did and managed to reduce the amount to s$400. when i spoke to her, she sounded rather crossed. i asked why and she said she was angry with my niece for leaving a note. she said my niece was young and naive and that she should have simply stood up the scooter and drive off. she said if my niece had done that, she would not have had to spend s$400...
for a while, i kept quiet. then i commented on her reaction. i told her that she has had her focus placed on the wrong areas! the key thing in this incident was not about the money. it was about the value system. and if you asked me, i thought the money spent was certainly well worth it! cos for the s$400, my niece now knows she needs to be careful when reversing her car and that she also now knows how to check if people are lying. these are life's lessons that can never be taught in school. more importantly, the incident showed that my niece had shown great courage in acknowledging her mistake and strong values in having the integrity to want to compensate for the damage. also, that for that amount, my sis now has the clearest indication that her way of bringing up her daughters is a correct one. these are all priceless! thus, my sis should instead feel happy and proud. happy for that fact that she had been able to inculcate in her daughter a good value system. and proud of her daughter as she had displayed excellent values. she should have praised her daughter rather that chided her. in chiding her over the money, she had sent out the signal that values can be tweet to suit your own whimps and fancies and for selfish reasons. and in doing so, would it not be akin to telling them that it is ok to kill someone over some money if the money belongs to you? as parents, it is important to not only inculcate right values, it is also (if not, even more) important to reinforce these lessons consistently. or else, we might end up confusing our kids!
no?
3 comments:
Perhaps your sister was thinking your niece was too naive. While we want our kids to do the right thing, we also worry they may be taken advantage of by the 'real world'. But I agree with what you say. Values are so important. She will be better for it in the long run! Hope your sister understood it!
I am on your side too.
Regards
Reader
i am glad my sis agreed after i explained to her. she has always been complaining that her kids are very out of control. hopefully this incident allowed her to see them in different light.
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