interracial

i owe ooi2009 this little reflection... :-)

ooi2009 asked me for my views about interracial couples. well, my view is very simple and straight forward. it boils down to - as long as both parties involved are happy. does not matter what colour, shape, size, length, etc... key to it is - both parties must be happy. applies equally to everything we do right?

and in the context of interracial couples, let me expand my thoughts. i think we can discuss it from 2 different perspectives.

firstly, from the individual perspective, it boils down to how open and accepting we are about knowing the opposite party and how ready/ willing we are to embrace the unknown (culture, etc). with the right attitude and knowledge, race is no issue at all. everyone of us has our personal prejudices and preferences. for prejudices, it could be due to our knowledge (or the lack of it) about the race concerned. it is natural for us to associate what we deemed similar to us in a more favorable light. afterall, we humans are very tribal in our nature. we create layers of prejudices/ preferences based on different levels of familiarity/ fear. for example, a long time ago, even hokkiens and teochew do not mix or inter-marry. nowadays when the issue of ethnicity is less pronounced due to greater awareness of each other, and inter-ethnic couples has become the norm. my parents are the perfect example. my dad is pure hokkien and my mum is pure peranakan. in those days, inter-ethnic marriages, particularly between people who speak different languages, were rare. my dad speaks hokkien whereas my mum speaks peranakan malay and a heavily malay-accented hokkien. but they fell in love and went ahead and got married, much to the displeasure of my grands, especially my paternal grands. such tribal preferences/ tendencies are not different from what we see amongst the different tribes. it is very animalistic fundamentally based on our survival instinct. cos when faced with unknowns or unfamiliarity persons/ tribes, our first reflex and subconscious would tell us - no, don't do it, you may put yourself at risk. also, at the individual level, another angle to it could be - well, it depends on what i want out of the interaction - it is for the momentary pleasure (such as an ons), a boyfriend or a life partner? this is no different from the question of what a man looks for when he befriends a woman (in the straight world). a quick answer to that is usually - depends on whether he is looking for a girlfriend or a wife. heh heh...

secondly, from the societal perspective. again, i posit that the society is an extension of the self. some societies are more receptive to interracial couples while some others are not. it boils down to how open the society is. and usually it could be correlated to how connected the society is to the world. singapore used to frown big time on interracial marriages in the 60s/ 70s. but these days, with singapore being so connected to the world and singaporeans are so much or exposed, interracial marriages are rather common and no longer frowned upon. then again, regardless of whether the society is for or against, there would be individuals who would end up in interracial relationships. it is only a matter of whether these individuals are the exception or the norms. if they are the exception, they would have to be brave, thick skinned and probably conduct themselves in a manner that is more accepting by the public at large. if they are the norm, congrats to them.

hmmm... you can replace all the words "interracial" in what i have written above with the word "gay" and i am sure you will say, wow! how true! we gaymen are the "exceptions" in the society and are so misunderstood. sounds familiar? heh heh... end of the day, it is about the whole concept of how open we are about accepting what is deemed to be different from what we frame as "the norm". but sociatal norms do change and evolve over time. so... yup, the future for glbts in singapore looks positive! ok, back to the question - what are my views about interracial couples. my answer would be - as long as the individuals are happy. as for me personnally, well, i would say, it depends on for what. if it is for the sex, anytime man! haha! but if it is for a long term relationship, the reasons for me to go into it must be sufficiently compelling before i would do it cos chances are, there would be cultural issues, language barriers, etc that i might not be ready to embrace. but certainly, i will not frown on people if they choose to go for someone of a different race (regardless of whether they are gay or straight).

ok, ooi2009, hope i have answered your question!

:-)

photo from http://sohopolitico.blogspot.com/