sleepless mum

i went out with my friends to celebrate my birthday with bee and my uni friends yesterday.

left at 6.15pm after spending a day preparing mum for it mentally. she seemed pretty okay when i left, but during dinner, she sounded unhappy when i called to check on her. 

when i returned after evening pass midnight, i found her lying on the sofa and the tv was switched on. she was holding on to her prayers beads and she was still awake. she said she couldn't sleep. her holding on the her prayer beads suggested her paranoia had worked up again. but when i asked if it was becos i had gone out, she insisted it was not. i left her there as i retired to bed. 

this morning, she seemed unhappy, pulled a long face and didn't want to talk to me. she was clearly unhappy. the maid also observed it as she commented that "ah ma love sir very much. when sir go out, ah ma said she did not want to sleep but wait for sir to come home". that, to me, was the clearest indication of mum's paranoia. i kept quiet. 

after breakfast, she said she wanted to head to the temple… it wasn't until after the visit to the temple that she began to open up a little. 

sighs...