weird night

last night was superbly weird for me. 

i supposed it was becos mum went a little bonkers before she went to bed. and it ended with her raising her voice at me, getting all so worked up and heading to bed full of angst. it all started after the evening tv serial when she asked me if i will be bringing the dog down to pee. it was a weird question cos i never did that. as a routine, i would only bring the dog down at about midnight before i retire for the night. anyway, she added, and you are gonna stay downstairs for a long while to let her play right? nope, i said, i'll be hanging out the laundry to dry and perhaps head out for a run. and she gave that a suspicious look and repeated what she said. her sentences came out weird cos at times, it sounded like a question and at times, it sounded like a statement. feeling a little bewildered by her repetitions, i said i didn't quite understand what she was trying to say and asked her to clarify. and again, she repeated what she said, this time adding an additional phrase that i should know what she meant and with the tone that suggest i had something planned and trying to hide what i would be doing by bringing the dog downstairs…

it was all so convoluted. and as she repeated herself, her tone of her voice got more and more hostile. it was rather frustrating and i decided against heading out for my usual evening runs. it was clear that her mental issues was working up. i proceeded to hang out the laundry and did my work in the living instead. work that involved lots of number crunching and lots of excel spreadsheet. as for mum, she gave me that evil weird look on her face as she grudgingly strutted into her room to sleep. i suspected she didn't sleep and my suspicion was confirmed cos about an hour plus later, she called out to me… where are you and what are you doing?!?!?! doing my work, i said as i continued. she didn't respond further. it was about midnight when i brought the dog down for her final pee before i retired to bed.

and so you can imagine my state of mind when i retired to bed. i felt very drained mentally and very frustrated. yet, my mind was very wide awake. and i tossed and turned in my bed. soon enough, i drifted into a state where i was between being awake and asleep. in that state, i remembered suddenly shouting and scolding something or someone, i didn't know. i was very angry and the anger was so intense i remembered pointing my finger at that person (or something). after that intense burst of emotions, there was a sudden feeling of calm. and within a split second, i felt a very sudden intense rush of energy. again, i didn't know how to describe this energy but the closest i could perhaps liken it to was - an orgasm. haha… but no, i did not have a wet-dream. i have never experienced it in my life (haha, too much info), but yeah, it felt like an intense orgasm of a young teenager and all the rush of testosterone. my whole body was shaking and trembling… and just as suddenly as it came, the feeling disappeared.  i couldn't remember anything after that.

next thing i knew, i woke up. it was about 5am…

weird.