after we cremated the remains of our grandparents, we collected the ashes and had them installed in their final resting place in the choa chu kang columbarium. the niche booked was 2 blocks away from my dad's niche. the prayers carried out was similar to that of my dad when we installed him in his niche last year.
my brother had earlier gone ahead to get the niche cover designed and the photos of my granddad and grandma done up. he had asked for my granddad to be photoshopped with a suit and tie. as for my grandma, he chose a kebaya for her. i thought this was weird cos my grandma was a typical ah ma from china and not a peranakan nonya! anyway, i held my views as he seemed quite happy with it. similarly, my aunt did not comment about it other than laughing it off as my grandma being more fashionable. i stood by my belief that as long as everyone is happy, i will go with it.
yesterday, i learnt that my aunt had asked for my grandma's photo to be changed. apparently, she had gone home, thought about it and had a whole sleepless night. she was not comfortable with the fact that she was not able to recognise and identify with this new dress of grandma! so, upon her request, my brother has now started the process of getting a new photo done up!
reflecting, this whole process reinforces my belief that once a person dies, how we manage the whole process is not about the demised. rather, it is about managing the living. for the dead continues to live in the memories of the living. and in this living memory, the dead will continue to remain exactly how he/ she looked like, dressed like, their mannerism, their favourite food, la la la... and other than time, nothing else will be able to change this. time has this effect of blurring and eventually erasing one's memories... until he too, dies and fades away...
:-)
my brother had earlier gone ahead to get the niche cover designed and the photos of my granddad and grandma done up. he had asked for my granddad to be photoshopped with a suit and tie. as for my grandma, he chose a kebaya for her. i thought this was weird cos my grandma was a typical ah ma from china and not a peranakan nonya! anyway, i held my views as he seemed quite happy with it. similarly, my aunt did not comment about it other than laughing it off as my grandma being more fashionable. i stood by my belief that as long as everyone is happy, i will go with it.
yesterday, i learnt that my aunt had asked for my grandma's photo to be changed. apparently, she had gone home, thought about it and had a whole sleepless night. she was not comfortable with the fact that she was not able to recognise and identify with this new dress of grandma! so, upon her request, my brother has now started the process of getting a new photo done up!
reflecting, this whole process reinforces my belief that once a person dies, how we manage the whole process is not about the demised. rather, it is about managing the living. for the dead continues to live in the memories of the living. and in this living memory, the dead will continue to remain exactly how he/ she looked like, dressed like, their mannerism, their favourite food, la la la... and other than time, nothing else will be able to change this. time has this effect of blurring and eventually erasing one's memories... until he too, dies and fades away...
:-)
No comments:
Post a Comment