the porter show

watched harry porter on sunday. must say that i felt a little disappointed by the superbly anti-climax ending. i had actually expected more magic. hmmm... or perhaps my expectations had been raised after reading all the glowing reviews about the show. so, when i walked out of the cinema, i was like - chey, voldemort died too fast, there was not enough drama before his death, the effects for the fights were not too great, the built-up towards the final battle was not very consistent, the climax came and went too fast... and so on. and oh, there was not even the slightest mention nor scene that captured the deathly hallows triangle sign!

to me, what was the highest point in the movie was when the prof mcgonagall brought to live and summoned the hogwarts protectors to protect the castle (does it not remind you of lara croft tomb raider angelina jolie? heh heh...), and together with her the fellow wizards, created a "force field"/ cast a protective spell around the castle. i really sat up and got very excited about it, goosebumps and all... it really built up the whole mood for a good fight. but that big bang end did not occur. instead, the pace slowed down, the mood changed and... but well... it was a show after all.

then again, to me, the end of the show felt rather odd somehow. cos in some weird way, it reminded me of james and it kinda signify a total closure of a journey that started in 1999. well, you see, james was the one that introduced me to the harry porter series not long after we got together. and through our 6.5 years together (until 2005), we would eagerly wait for the release of the every next books. so, yup, finally, the show has ended. there was a lot of mixed feelings and thoughts. but well... with the end of this series, i will not be reminded of harry porter anymore.

:-)

mum mum 2

no, this is not a second post about my mum. rather, it is about my niece. she is now 10 months old. and since a couple of weeks back, i was able to feel 2 lower teeth appearing. so cute! and her vocab seemed to have improved. she now can manage a few word-like utterance that sounded like as mum-mum, ma-ma, pa-pa... and altho she still cannot utter "bye-bye" she of cos can wave her hands when we asked her to "bye-bye". and interestingly, when we asked her to "pai-pai" (as in put her palms together to pray), she would wave bye bye instead... and best of all, she now can cry and want to follow me when i leave the house... something that she didn't/ couldn't do just 2-3 weeks back!

so cute right!

hmmm, kids grow really too fast these days!

:-)

mum mum

the doctors did all the tests today. found mum to be fine. so, they have asked my brother to discharge her tomorrow. also, they have asked for her to be reviewed by a psychiatrist. this will be on fri... i am living day by day currently. but i think in the long run, mum would perhaps need to be moved back to my place. her suspicion of my sis-in-law is just too much. well, let's see how...

good job myself

the day ended with me feeling very drained but happy. you see, today is the second and last day of the course that i had been preparing and developing for the past couple of months. and given its significance, quite a few senior/ top management staff visited the training. my big boss also did the closing. lots of hype but i was pretty happy it ended well. whew... such a great sigh of relieve. not because of the fact that the big bosses were here, but becos i had put the pressure on myself to make sure this course is well conducted.

the comments and remarks during the end of the course was very good. and i was pretty glad everyone went back feeling good and acknowledging that all of them had met their objectives of attending this course!

:-)

sleep

i need to sleep but i am feeling awake. then again, i know i need to sleep cos it is gonna be a long day tomorrow...

arghhhh....

challenging mum

just came home not too long ago. been a very long evening. left work to meet bee for dinner but before we even had the chance to head to the dining place, my bro called. mum was again making noise about moving out of the house. this time round, she was convinced she would be killed if she continue to stay in my bro's place. i suggested to my bro to bring her to see the psychiatrist, but my mum started screaming at him. i called kl to seek his opinion and was advised to sent her to a&e instead. she seemed to be in a state of delirium and has been hallucinating. and the past couple of days, she was so convinced my maid and sis-in-law are trying to kill her that she stop eating any food offered to her by them...

my bro was really at his wits ends. in the end i went to his place to fetch her. and in the process convinced her to head to the hospital to undergo a medical check. thank goodness she was receptive to my coaxing. by the time we arrived at the hospital, it was 8plus. she was placed in the observation ward and i accompanied her there. and during the period i was there, she was really vocal, she was uttering lots of not too nice things and expletives about my sis-in-law and my maid. sighs... to me, it was clear that she was being suspicious. and she was obviously living out her past and had unfairly put lots of her pass angst onto my sis-in-law. not too good at all!

after all the test, etc, the doctor concluded that she did not have any infection and that under any normal circumstances, she would be discharged. but after checking with us and finding out that she has been refusing food, throwing tantrums, and being superbly suspicious of people around her, the doctor decided to admit her instead. and of cos, when i told mum about it, she cried...

sighs...

good day

conducted the program today and it was pretty smooth. felt good about it. so... ya, let's hope tomorrow will be a good ending.

:-)

suicide

ok ok... for those who, after reading my last two posts, thought of writing to me and asking me if i am ok... yes, i am. perfectly. was just running through some old posts and getting a bit emo only. otherwise, everything is perfectly fine! ok, here's something to laugh about... trust the japanese. only they can think of something like this! wtf! totally warped! then again, just enjoy it! hahaha!



now, that was part 2, this is the part 1... hahaha!

departures again

i know i have posted this here before... but i simply cannot but post this again. this show always make me cry, laugh, cry, laugh and cry again... such an excellent show! it is about life, and about death. and every single person in the show has his/ her story. it is simply amazing. even the music itself is so excellently written. listening to me quietens me. anyway, for those who have not watch the movie, you can do a search in youtube... there are a total of 14 parts to it. here's the part 1... subsequent parts will follow-on once the preceding part ends...

enjoy!

last kiss

decided to look for this song after hearing it on the radio 2 weeks back. this is one of the few songs that never fail to make me tear. well, firstly, i am the kinda person who likes to sentimentalize things. and so when i listen to songs, i sometimes imagine myself in the scene. and that was how i could imagine myself being in a situation where my love get killed in a car crash and died in my arms... how much more sad can that be right? and in that kinda situation, who wouldn't cry right? hmmm... then again, this song reminded me about the times when james and i were together. in fact, our time together were marked by many songs given that he was (and i believe still is) a person who would follow the charts.

heh heh...

and oh, while looking for this song, i learned that the original version was first released in 1964. and listening to it, i thought it sounded pretty 60s alright. and songs from that era (my era) always sound a little more innocent and pure... don't you think so? well, here it is... enjoy!

contingency weekend

a weekend where i had to activate lots of contingencies. yup. that is how i'd describe this weekend. but i thought i survived it well. you see, on friday, mum called me to bring her for a hair perm. and i did exactly that yesterday. my sis-in-law, niece and maid came along. mum seemed extra cautious about talking when i drove them to marine parade (where she usually perms her hair). i didn't ask further. i had gotten use to this behaviour of her lately. after lunch at marine parade, i left her to do her hair and asked my sis-in law to bring my niece for a walk by the beach while i went for a tan at the pool. later in the afternoon after the perm, as per routine, i picked them up and sent them home. but when i arrived at my brother's place, my mum refused to get off the car. she insisted on staying at my place. she didn't explain further except that she did not want to go home... and added to that, she didn't want to maid to come along.

hmmm... tricky. knowing that i couldn't coax her to get off the car, i got the maid to pack her stuff, her medication, la la la and drove her back home. halfway home, i had to u-turn when i realized i had forgotten to bring her walking frame. and i had to cancel my evening plans with bee and kwang (thank goodness bee had not book harry porter tickets). bee had to quickly set up her room for her. and after keeping her stuff at home, i tried but failed to arrange for dinner with my second sis. so i decided to bring mum out for dinner with bee... next challenge - where to go considering the place must not be crowded, wheelchair friendly, not too far... i ended up circling bedok and simei. in the end, we had dinner at a coffee shop in the industrial estate.

it was a long and tiring day. after dinner, second sis dropped by. chit chatted till late before i finally put mum to bed. another issue - had to make sure she take her bath safely, change into her diapers before putting her to sleep... thankfully, she was able to self manage. i only need to stand by at the door in case she needs assistance or in case she falls. and when she finally lied down on the bed, i had to place another big mattress by her bed to cushion her in case she rolled off the bed in the middle of the night. i was totally exhausted by the time she finally retired for the night.

woke up early this morning to check on her. she was already awake but simply lied in her bed. i had told her not to move around in case she falls. in any case, she was wearing diapers. made her a cup of milo before letting her clean herself. bee and i brought her out for breakfast and to do some marketing. she was pretty cheerful and i guessed this was so as she had not been out of the house for the longest time. also, she told me she slept till 6am - something that she had not done for quite a while as she was afraid people would harm her at home (my bro's place).

spoke with her at home after breakfast and managed to convince her to head back to my bro's place as i will not be able to take care of her as i have to work on weekdays. thankfully, she agreed. and so, after bringing her out for lunch, we made our way back to my bro's place. it was certainly an unexpected weekend. it was one surprise after another. but i supposed it is to be expected given the presence of an elderly at home. admittedly, i almost get angry a couple of times when my mum insisted people at home were trying to kill her. she was so convinced her dream was real and she was truly afraid to go home. time and again, i had to remind myself to be patient. she is after all, elderly and her mind is not exactly healthy. i held my temper. i am glad it turned out pretty well. and i am glad it is over.

for now.

:-)

ps: and oh, i forgot to bring her walking frame back and had to drive home to get it. and yes, finally, we caught harry porter at the cinema this evening.

next week

it's rather weird, but i am actually looking forward to next workweek. haha!

well, you see, over the last many moons, i have been involved in many big time projects and all seemed to have either stalled or been slow in their development. and the last week or so had been rather intense given the advanced stage of things - finalising materials, printing of notes, printing of posters, compiling, binding, etc. and as of today, i have been told the systems (that had previously stalled) would be tested out over the weekend and should be ready next week. and same too for a course that i had been developing. i had finally completed it this week and it would be conducted next week. and last but not least, a series of posters that i had tasked a staff to design and print had been done and it would be mounted in the classroom over the weekend...

lots of things seem to be done up by this weekend and all should be ready to be showcased come tuesday! so... ya, i am rather excited about it! and to add to the excitement, my big boss will be visiting the place too and hopefully, things will be in place to show to him!

feeling excited!

:-)

nice song

this is a very nice mtv. and it is sung against a clip that shows a hong kong taxi driver picking up a hunk and they end up having sex in the taxi. then again, taking away the fact that the act involves 2 guys, i see 2 individuals making love. and if it is love, it cannot be wrong. so... if you are offended by gay sex, don't click on the link. otherwise, enjoy the clip like i did.

tuls

bee and i met up with a new friend from pj/kl this evening. it was a wonderful evening. we had dinner at 7 storey hotel hainanese seafood restaurant and then we went sightseeing. felt like a tourist myself. somehow, hosting people from overseas is always fun cos i end up feeling like a tourist. and the best part was - we get to know the person better! and for tonight, it was great for the fact that my friend is totally unassuming and easy going. and well, time flies when you are having fun and enjoying. all too soon, the night was over. he flies back home tomorrow.

:-)

eewww...

have you ever felt so bloated you fart and fart and fart... yes, i felt so today. for reasons unknown, it was just non-stop... and to make things worst and really gross, (you can stop here if you are uneasy about gross stuff)... i went for dinner with bee and karsten earlier, and after dinner, as i was driving, i started farting again... and you know, the kind of big ones, and it's the kind where you know it has taken time to form in the colon and formed a large volume that would stretch your asshole as it comes out... yes, you get the idea. yup, i felt it and out it came. first one, second one... and oh my freaking gawd, i farted watery shit! eeewwwwwwwwwww!!!

hahahahahahaha!... it was so so so damned freaking uncomfortable. and i was in the car with bee and i let out a yelp and he stared at me when i told him about it. anyway, he was nice and told me he had stuffed nose and could not smell anything. but some few seconds later, he smelt it... hahaha... and as for me, i was so lucky there was some newspaper in the car. i quickly took it and sat on it. but what was terrible was that i had to endure the uncomfortable feel of something wet in my pants through the whole journey. and to make it worst, the stomach started churning as i was driving along pie. and you know, when you are in a hurry or when there is an emergency - like when your stomach is going to explode with all the churning - somehow, cars would be driving one helluva slow, it almost seemed like things were going s... l... o... w... m... o... t... i... o... n..., and traffic lights all turn red at the wrong time, roads get busy suddenly, etc... aarrggghhhh...

gross right? yup, i also say, i wanted to delete this post after typing it and took a long pause to think if i should proceed with this post. and i thought, ah... screw it, after all, it is my blog and it is not an irresponsible act to publish something that would probably embarrass myself. so....

and oh, the feeling of everything rushing out when i finally sat on the throne was simply - priceless!

heh heh heh...

painful spine

over the last 2 weeks, i have been experiencing this dull pain at one of my cervical bone at the back of my chest (t-section). it started off feeling like a dull but pointed pain. but over time, it got worst and the pain gets a little intense and uncomfortable. it came to the point where i could not lie down or bent down properly cos it felt like as though my beck can break into two any moment. and to make things worst, my neck also started hurting.

it seemed like the whole spine is breaking apart. so i went to the chiro yesterday and told him about the pain. and he did some adjustments and it felt immediately better for that few hours. but today, the pain came back. and the neck region worsen. the muscles were all stiffened up and i felt superbly uneasy... thinking about the localized pain at my t-bone region, i was quite sure it was due to one particular occasion where a guy pushed me down and punched my back. but well, no use blaming. it's over and i will have to just manage it.

let's hope the pain goes off soon...

what a weekend!

been a great weekend! it all started since fri evening. bee was not around as he went for a cruise with his parents and so my weekend started with dinner at liang court with ming. and then sat, it was laundry, visit chiro, housework, hang up laundry, work, visit mum, work somemore, and finally dinner at seven sensations followed by tea and cakes at marina square... what a busy day! and sat night was weird cos i was awaken by my own sounds... there was this constant coo-ing... and it was that kinda dull, short and inconsistent coo, coo, coo sounds that woke me up. and i was so aware that it was made by myself... a little eerie considering i was all alone at home and bee was away. anyway, i went back to sleep again...

and on sunday, it was giving sapphie a bath, wash toilet, clear the storeroom, work (again), housework, visit mum, brought mum out for lunch, met up with second sis, brought mum home, more work, brought mum back to bro's place, dinner with karsten, and then home to more work... another busy and hectic day...

yup, that was my weekend. intense, busy and lotsa work. thinking about this whole thing, it just struck me how we are all creatures of habit. for me, the routine weekly are very similar. and i also notice that i tend to want to take things easy at work at times, i would steal sometime to go for a swim or a tan over my lunch hours but i do make it up over the evenings and weekends where i bring my work home. in this way, i have more flexi time and i would be less stressful... and i do not feel guilty about taking time to swim or tan cos frankly, i am at work even while i am at home...

well... another mundane post for me this time round.

it's gonna be a good week ahead. for a start, i will be meeting up with a new friend from malaysia tomorrow for dinner. heh heh... he calls me gor (kor), but i think i am old enough to be his father... will it be weird meeting up? hmmm... then again, bee will be joining in. so that makes it a little less awkward in case he feels uncomfortable or awkward... haha...

have a good week ahead everyone!

strange goldfish

i have a pair of goldfishes. they are the remaining pair from an initial lot of over 10... over the years, one by one have died. and the remaining 2 (a ranchu and an oranda) are rather interesting, especially the oranda (white with red patches on the head).

until recently, i noted that this pair actually sleep at night. and for that matter, they actually sleep very soundly! over the last 2 weeks, bee and i realized one more thing. the oranda likes to sleep in the container that i use to contain the filtration pump. and she (with such a name, let's assume it's a she, and a bimbo) actually likes to sleep upside down inside this container. more than a couple of times, bee and i thought she had been sucked into the container by the filtration pump and had died. but when we tried to "dig" her out of the container, she would wake up, spring into action and dart out of the container. then she would swim around tossing and turning and show off her tail like as though nothing had happen. frankly, i half suspect she actually gave us the "what-the-fuck for disturbing my beauty sleep" look as she swam around! well, too bad i can't interpret goldfishs' face...

heh heh heh...

:-)

str8 readers

i did ask myself before if i have posted things that might have sounded a little too gay here and whether i should tone down, or for that matter even stop posting any of such gay-related stuff. i asked myself these questions cos i know i have straight people who visit my blog quite regularly eg people in uk, ladybird, and so on. then again, i told myself that i should just go ahead cos the fact that i am posting it here means i should have no pretense and be myself. there is a time and space to be considerate and a time and space to be myself. and during such occasions, such as when i blog, if these str8 friends choose to read my postings, they should be able to accept me as what i am. and if anyone should choose to brand me in any possible negative way, it is their prerogative and it is also their choice not to visit this humble of blog mine.

:-)

right?

tribute to kylie

this is a very nicely made video. very gay and reminds me of the many parties i went to aeons ago. somehow the way gay men dance have remained constant over the last decade! hehe. they way they gyrate, the way they wave their hands, the way they flirt with their eyes as they dance... don't think any straight men can do it as well as gay man! (of cos, to put in perspective, not all gay man can do it too la!) and yes, this mtv screams out "we are australians!" does it not? heh heh... and of cos, i meant it in every best possible way!

enjoy!

:-)

lesbians

conversations between 2 gay bottoms... of cos, one is more bottom than the other. well, the other way to look at it is that one is more top that the other... then again, it doesn't matter... hahaha!

"sister sister, i feel so so so horny now..."

"ok ok, you want me to have sex with you?"

"eee... thanks hor, whatever horniness i have, all gone already lor..."

"sister sister, i feel so so so horny now..."

"ok ok, you want me to have sex with you?"

"errr... thanks hor, i am gay, not lesbian..."

lolx!

:-)

durians

today, i bought a durian for my after dinner dessert. and really, it always feels good to eat durian by the road side. such a singapore experience!

nice!

ps: my enjoyment of my durian was disrupted by an irritating roaring motorbike! i almost wanted to use the seed and throw at the biker... can't stand bikers that modify their bikes and creating such noise pollution!

conversation with mum

i brought mum out this afternoon. she said she wanted to visit the temple again. and in the car, i spoke with her. the whole conversation would probably sound out of this world and illogical if you do not know her. it went something along this line...

i asked why she wanted to go to the temple as i had brought her there last week. accordingly, i said going to the temple once a month is fine. she replied that she had nioghtly dreams about someone telling her to chant. and she iterated that the domestic help is a ghost. (well, not literally, rather she meant the domestic help is out to harm her) i asked her gently why she said that and she lowered her voice and pointed her finger to the back telling me not to ask further cos the domestic help was sitting behind her... and then she said her life is terrible and said that for reasons unknown to her, she had always been meeting people who wanted to harm her (you can imagine the typical - "my life is so bitter and sorrowful" wails of someone who was wronged). and she started telling me about her past. and she related how my aunt (whom, she was convinced, wanted to steal my dad from her) wanted to harm her. she said she saw my aunt again recently and she wanted to spit at her. and she went on and on about how everyone wanted to harm her.

i let her vent and when she finally stopped, i asked her why she chose to focus on the bad and not the good. i asked her to reflect how she has her children who are good to her, who feed her, who look after her. and i asked her to reflect how good a life she has compared to some of my late aunts. but she ignored my words. instead, she said the person who had wanted to marry her (50 yrs ago) has recently returned and is now planting bad lies about her in the family. and she went on about how she had recently carried my baby brother and ran away from a particular block in macpherson. i told her this block that she spoke of had been demolished (to be frank, i was not really sure if it had indeed been demolished). but she insisted it is still around. and that if i am not convinced, i could drive her to the block and she would show me the house and the occupants she ran away from. i asked her how old my brother is and she could answer that he is 40 over years old. and when i asked again about how she could be carrying my brother away from the block recently, she couldn't answer except that i won't be able to understand how bad her life was...

well, you got the idea, the whole conversation toggle between today and 40 over years ago. i supposed this is how a person with dementia would speak. not easy to follow and many a times, one needs to really "play" along and not add to the stress of the person. for mum, her mind and behaviour had been too deeply wired up by her 50-over years of routine visiting the temple whenever she faced any challenges. as such these days, whenever she faces any problems that she couldn't make sense of, her instinct would be to visit the temple. so... yes, i shall bring her to the temple whenever i can. it calms her down. and i certainly hope my sis do not keep trying to convert her.

breaking up

the usual and common way to view a break up is from a negative angle. the emotions one feels during a break up (and for a while after that) can be terrible. it can consume the whole being. and if not controlled, it can destroy a person. literally. but one thing is for sure. for all break ups, time heals. and when one has regained some objectivity over the whole affair, one begins to see things in perspective. sometimes, one may even ask and wonder why and how the hell he/ she can be so mesmerized by the other party. and to a friend of mine who is undergoing this difficult period, let me pen here some possible way of seeing things from a different perspective:

• thanks for the wonderful time together. breaking up is perhaps a natural thing when we begin to see things clearer and realizing that we are very different after all. then again, not being together does not mean we cannot be friends. let us take time to close this chapter properly. to mourn and to recover emotionally. and after that, if possible, let us be the best of friends. the thing about friends is that things are easier. expectations are a lot less, and we tend to be a lot more forgiving. and in some strange way, friendship tends to last longer... then again, for now, let us have our space to recover.

• thanks for the wonderful time together. we have decided to move on but a few things are for sure. my time with you made me realized i was able to love again. it made me feel i am very much alive. the knowledge that i have the power to love, and to love deeply; and that i also have the abilities to attract another person is very powerful. but for now, let me mourn, let me nurse my spirit and my soul. it is natural that i should feel down. but once i am done with my mourning, i know i will be able to start loving again. and i know i can becos you have shown me i could.

• thanks for the wonderful time together. we have decided to move on. things are difficult for me now. it is natural for i am human. i have feelings. but sure as the sun will rise from the east, my pain will go. but during this period, i shall reflect on our times together, and look at the things i have learned. and when i recover, i will be stronger, i will be a better person. for that, thank you for giving me the opportunities to learn the lesson of life.

:-)

dental scaling

have just done dental scaling for sapphie. been a long while. and i noticed the tartar had worsened and that there were 2 more of her molars that have been covered with tartar to the point that it couldn't be scrapped off. then again, i take it positively that for a 11-year old dog, she still has all her teeth intact. and this to me, is a good thing cos i have known dogs who lost their teeth when they were as young as 5 years old due to constant feeding of wet food and improper dental upkeeping.

:-)

my fb profile

i have changed my fb profile to another name. and with the change in my profile name, i stopped using my facebook. i deleted all my photos, most of all my status updates, and so on. all these was done with the intention to safeguard my own sanity as i realized there were to many toxic postings about all sorts of things lately. i saddens me to also see people i know being emotional and illogical when it comes to life in general. and since stopping my fb activities, i have had quite a few interesting smses from my friends. read on.

(1) one smsed me - why did you block me from your fb? what did i do to you to deserve such a treatment? why did you stopped me from seeing your photos? it was an unexpected message, and a very interesting one. the message suggested this friend had assumed lots of things. and he had been unfair to me in these assumptions. for example, it suggests that he sees himself to be the center of my fb activities. in asking these questions, he had indirectly implied that i must keep my facebook account alive for him. that i do not have the prerogative to do what i want with my facebook account. also, the questions suggest how he sees himself to be at fault rather than ask if everything is ok with me (given that it is not often that people disappear from facebook). it seemed rather self-centric. could it be that it reflected his own insecurities? anyway, to his message, i simply replied "no la, i did not block you. i deleted everything in it". and a quick reply came - "oh...". and the conversation ended just like that. hmmmm...

(2) a couple of weeks after the incident above, bee was in town and met another friend. he used to be my fb buddy. we used to poke each other (in fb, and yes, it has an extra "b" - for "facebook" buddy and not... heh heh) and comment on each other's statuses. and he was rather curious with my sudden disappearance. his response was to see if i were still in his friend list. and when he checked, he found that i had disappeared (weird cos i did not recall deleting him from my friend list). he did not pursue further and did not sms me. it was when he met bee when so he asked about me and bee explained the whole story to him. thankfully, that cleared the air cos he thought i had deleted him for whatever reasons. after bee related the incident to me, i logged in into my fb, added him and emailed him about why i had stopped using fb. of cos, he accepted my friend invite but since then, we had stopped corresponding...

(3) couple of days back, in the midst of an sms conversation with a friend, he asked "hey do you have a facebook account? if you have, add me! my email is xxxxxx." and i replied i had and gave the whole story. and he sheepishly replied, "actually, i was too shy to ask if you have deleted me, so i thought maybe it is easier for me to ask if you have an account..." i thought his message was rather funny. and knowing him, he has always been a little shy with friends. so... such a cute person right? adore him to bits! heh heh...

i reflected about these responses from my friends. it was interesting cos it now suggests that such social media have taken over our lives to the point whereby our activities (and inactivity) in the social media could create a certain level of impact on our social circles. scary right? and to make it worst, social media is not exactly the best way to communicate cos it is one of the worst media when it comes to communicating emotions. hmmm...

ps: i told my friend in (3) about this post and he wanted to click "like" just to realize the this is blogger and not facebook. so himbo right? but well, that's him alright. and he's so adorable. i like!

offing my phone

for the past weeks, i have kept my personal number off. i was trying very hard to avoid that friend who had been hounding me to lent more money to her. and as a result, many of my other friends whom i have not shared my office number with had not been able to contact me too... hmmm... well, on the bright side, i had a couple of weeks of peace!

:-)

of l's & m's....

been an interesting week. been caught up with lots of meetings and work. and of cos, the focus has been in the areas of l's and m's. l for leaders and m for managers. seemed like the big bosses are increasingly focusing on these areas and are pushing for related programs to be in place. gonna be very busy... very very busy.

:-)

tailor

got my bonus letter today. not too please with the grade given. i felt i deserved something better. but well, a bonus is a bonus, even if it was just s$1. afterall, i got my confirmation and promotion ahead of time. so, i shan't complain. and to reward myself, i decided to head to the tailor. i ended up making 3 pairs of pants and a long sleeve shirt. have been wanting to do so for a long time. all my pants have either gone too big or too old. and for the last many moons, i have survived alternating between 2-3 pairs of pants that i could still wear. heh heh... making pants was way overdue for me.

after looking at all the different colours and materials offered, i ended choosing the cashmere wool material for 2 pairs of pants and polyester material for the third. a little expensive for the former but i thought it would be a good investment if it makes me look good. and as for long sleeve shirts, have been wearing off-the-shelf ones. g2000 and so on. and most of the times, they were either too big or the sleeves were too long. and given my recent weight loss, all my shirts had started to look oversized and sloppy. so i decided i should tailor a shirt too. i have always felt tailored shirts look smarter. just like the uniforms i used to wear back during my service days. and heh heh... my first tailored civilian shirt is - guess what - pink! let's see how it turns out.

if it is nice, i might just go ahead and tailor more shirts!

:-)

worsening dementia

mum's dementia has taken a turn for the worst. a couple of days back, she called me at the office telling me that people at home were ill-treating her and wanting to get her out of the house. i rushed down to visit her only to realize that her memory was very warped and that she was uttering things that happened 50-over years ago...

and when i visited her these 2 days, she could only recall how she had suffered in the early days and it was obvious she's living her old memories in the present day. she was superbly suspicious of people around her and was convinced that everyone around her was conniving to do her bad.

it's quite sad that she cannot get out of this knot of hers. sighs... well, the least that i could do was to listen to her, be supportive and try in any way i could to cheer her up.

sighs...

your highness

went to watch your highness yesterday and wow! there was a gay sex scene complete with thrusting actions and a frontal hard on! then again, it (the hard on) belonged to a minotaur and the sex scene was between the minotaur and a human being. so, i guessed it didn't breach any rules per se and the show didn't end up getting a r(a) rating. heh heh... frankly, we went in with totally no idea what to expect. the show ended up being one helluva lame show. then again, it was an entertaining show. lots of laughs and lots of crude jokes.

:-)

sandcastle

had just watched boo junfeng's sandcastle. and was reminded of this song. familiar tunes, warm feelings...

and it's nice to watch a show that i can click at the local level.

nice!

:-)

d.i.s.c & mbti

by d.i.s.c profiling, i am a moderate "d" and "i", superbly high "s" and a relatively high "c". by mbti, i am an extreme "i", "s", low "f", and moderate "j". well, if you know how to read and interpret disc and mbti scoring, you would probably be able to read me through and through by these 8 characters!

:-)

busy week ahead

this week is gonna be a busy week for me. today, it's back-to-back non-stop with lotsa meetings. tomorrow will be the same. from 0830am to 5.30pm. hmmm... and i am not even prepared for the meetings. darned!

:-)

should i panic? or should i just be nonchalant about it? well, i supposed the fact that i am blogging about it says a lot about how much i am "panicking"... perhaps i should do something about it later and then pray for some godly intervention tomorrow? hahaha...

lifeless face

bee told me earlier on that my face has looked lifeless for quite a while. dull, bad complexion, no shine, no life, pale... and that of late it would take a long time for me to heal from any cuts, i fall sick easily...

hmmmm...

doesn't sound too good huh? never mind, gonna sleep. it's gonna be a new week. lotsa challenges ahead. must wake up refreshed! good night!

sms from temple

this morning when i woke up, i saw an sms from the temple asking me if i could go down to conduct a class. apparently the teacher that was supposed to teach, had backed out last minute. hmmm... it was quite a surprise for me cos it was a combined class as another teacher couldn't make it and that this teacher had just replied on friday that she would be able to conduct a combined class. the sms sent to me indicated that she had to work. hmmm... hmmm... hmmm... frankly, for a moment, i was in a dilemma cos i was worried about the students. but it was such a short moment's notice and i had plans made. furthermore, i had already told the people i would be stopping my teaching.

i weighed the pros and cons. my sister-in-law had told me yesterday she'd bought fish head to cook for me and that my mum had already told me i should be there early for lunch. having me sit with her for lunch is something she'd look forward to weekly. hmmm... well, i could call them and tell them they should go on without me, i thought. but if i were to do that, it would put to waste all the preparations and the cooking, and disappoint people at home. but on the other hand, if i did not turn up to relief the teacher, the students would be "teacherless" and that wouldn't be nice. hmmm... difficult decision.

in the end, i remembered what the advisor told us before - if you have second thoughts about coming, i'd rather you do not. i'd rather you come wholeheartedly rather than come with and iffy heart. ok ok, she did not say it like that. but you got the idea. remembering this, i replied the temple i couldn't help them. i reconciled that they would be able to manage even if it means combining 3 class into one, or for that matter, for a perm staff to hold the fort for this week.

well, you may laugh at me for being caught in a dilemma over such seemingly trivial stuff. but frankly to me, having weekly time with my mum is something that cannot be replaced. and i recalled previously, some teachers had also used similar commitments not to turn up for class... i am no longer a volunteer, and so, i should not feel so guilty about rejecting the request.

:-)

god's birthday

my mum had been reminding me to head to the koo chye sheng hong temple to renew my "adoption" money to the god. she insisted i should do it soon cos the god's birthday is coming up soon. and that was what i did today. accordingly, when i was a little baby, the fortune teller had predicted that i would be a difficult baby and that it would be necessary for me to be given to the god for adoption so that he could protect me from harm's way. and every year before the 28th day of the 5th lunar month, i would visit the temple to renew my adoption and to make a small donation. it had been this way for the past 4 decades plus and i continue to do so even after my taking refuge in buddhism 2 years ago.

frankly, when i first took refuge, i remembered what the venerable told me, it went something like "be disciplined in your practise, do not deviate from the practise, do not follow the ways of other religions now that you have made up your mind about taking refuge in the triple gem". and so, in the initial months, i had some internal tensions about visiting taoist temples. but after reflections, there is no tensions in me now. my mind and heart is clear why i am visiting taoist temples these days, it is for my mum, it is for my family, it is for everyone. my visits there and the practise of burning joss sticks and joss papers are acts of respects to the gods. i do not worship the gods per se nor do i get myself attached to the acts of begging for favours. this is no different from, say, visiting an indian temple and clasping my hands to respect the gods, or visiting a mosque and standing in silence as i focus my minds on the serenity and the quietness of the worship hall and to respect the islam religion, or for that matter, visiting a church and following through the rituals in silence as my christian friend go through their acts of worship. it is a form of respect to other faiths. learning to respect other faiths is something i have learned and visiting a temple is but an act. what is important is what is the underlying intentions. my faith is in my heart, it is not in the objects outside me.

so... yes, back to today's visit to the temple. i decided to drop by the temple today before visiting my mum. but unlike previous years, i did not collect the 2 talismans that i usually do - one to keep on my body to protect me against evil spirits and the other to burn, throw into water and to drink the water. i don't think these are necessary for me now. my visit was to tell my mum i have renewed my adoption and to show her proof by bringing the oranges the temple gave. this visit was important to her. and if doing this allays the worries and tensions in my mum, i would do it for as long as i could.

:-)

green lantern

omg, he so... omg cute! yup! saw the show earlier. yum yum! but, the thing was... for a superhero, his crouch was a tat too small! chey damned it, gay man me. ha ha! but ya, how come huh? ok, ok... let's be serious.

went for the show "green lantern" today half-heartedly cos a close friend's wife told me it's a lousy show. but decided to go for it nonetheless cos admittedly, i'm quite a superhero fan. so... yup, watching a show with little or no expectation is the best. you walked out feeling good if it's any little good. and you'd not feel too let down if it is bad cos you had expected less. but really, when i walked out after the show, i thought it was rather entertaining. never mind the small crouch, never mind the out of proportion stuff throughout the show - eg, parallax (if i spelt it correctly) seemed gigantic at the start, and then it reached earth, it was only a little larger then a building, and then another time, it was half a city size, and later on, it get's burnt by the sun. if i don't think about it, it's ok, if i do, it's a little confusing. heh heh... but hey, let's not get too critical about comics. it's meant to be entertaining. and yes, it certainly was. good nice computer effects, simple storyline that was, at times, predictable.

and of cos, such a cute chap!

what a week!

tgif!

such a hectic week! validated some programmes with the ministry, discussed the details with the developer for 2 days, fired someone, hired someone last minute, fought a series of human-relationship related fires at work, held at least 2-3 meetings a day for the past 5 days, had a couple of arguments with my hr b****, kenah arrowed to develop some management programme by my big big boss, conducted a work-related coaching session for one of my heads in my company, coached a couple of my managers, cleared a couple of critical longstanding issues, etc... i am so so so drained now and...

i am so fucking glad weekend is here!

coach

"boss, you are a good coach"

it feels good when my new manager tells me that. reaffirms that i am on the right track when it comes to establishing a good working relationship with him, motivating him, and in helping him realize his potential.

:-)

when the children cry

little child
dry your crying eyes
how can I explain
the fear you feel inside
cause you were born
into this evil world
where man is killing man
and no one knows just why
what we have become
just look what we have done
all that we destroyed
you must build again

when the children cry
let them know we tried
cause when the children sing
then the new world begins

little child
you must show the way
to a better day
for all the young
cause you were born
for all the world to see
that we all can live
with love and peace
no more presidents
and all the wars will end
one united world
under god

when the children cry
let them know we tried
cause when the children sing
then the new world begins

what we have become
just look what we have done
all that we destroyed
you must build again
no more presidents
and all the wars will end
one united world
under god

when the children cry
let them know we tried
when the children fight
let them know it ain't right
when the children pray
let them know the way
cause when the children sing
then the new world begins

my past travels

the following is an updated list of places i have travelled to up till jun 2011. there are many more areas that i have not visited. and it has always been my wish to also visit the wonders of the world including the grand canyon, the pyramids of egypt, the niagara falls and if i can afford, the ancient cities of the aztecs in south america :-)

2011
feb - malaysia (jb)

2010
may - malaysia (jb)
oct - indonesia (bintan)
nov - indonesia (jakarta)
dec - united arab emirates (abu dhabi, dubai)

2009
jun/jul - australia (perth, cervantes, margaret river, augusta, walpole, denmark, pemberton, manjimup, albany, hyden, corrigin, york, fremantle, joondalup)
jul - malaysia (malacca)
sep - malaysia (malacca)
nov - malaysia (jb)

2008
jun - thailand (phuket)
oct - malaysia (malacca, kuala lumpur)
dec - malaysia (cameron highlands, malacca)

2007
apr - malaysia (malacca)
apr - china (beijing)
jun - australia (perth)
aug - vietnam (hanoi, haphong)
aug - indonesia (jakarta, bandung)
dec - china (shanghai)

2006
apr - malaysia (kl)
jun - australia (sydney)
aug - thailand (bangkok)
sep-oct - indonesia (jakarta, bandung, lembang)
oct - thailand (bangkok)
dec - china (hong kong)

2005
feb - thailand (bangkok)
mar - malaysia
may - thailand (bangkok)
jun - indonesia (bintan)
jul - indonesia (bintan)
sep - indonesia (bintan)
oct - malaysia (kl)
nov - malaysia (jb, malacca)
nov - indonesia (bintan)
dec - taiwan (taipei)

2004
feb - taiwan (kaoshiung)
mar - taiwan (kaoshiung)
jun-dec - states (whole of florida, new york, chicago / illinois, etc)
dec - china (shanghai, hangzhou)

2003
jun - australia (sydney)
sep-oct - taiwan (taipei)
dec - s korea (seoul, sorat, incheon)

2002
jun - england (london, oxford, stratford upon avon, leeds, manchester, scarborough, windermere, etc)

2001
mar - states (california [la, sfo], new york)
may - taiwan (whole)
may - malaysia
jul - states (san diego)
dec - malaysia

2000
jun - australia (sydney)
dec - indonesia (bintan)

1999
feb - indonesia (jember)
may - england (london, brighton)
jun - malaysia
oct - japan (tokyo)

1998
mar - malaysia
jun - malaysia
sep - new zealand (christchurch)
nov - new zealand (christchurch, auckland)

1997
jun - indonesia (bintan, batam)
jun - thailand (bangkok, pattaya)
nov - switzerland (zurich, lucerne), israel (jerusalem)

pre-1997
lots of places but mainly in asia. these include east and west malaysia (lost count), taiwan (lost count), hong kong (twice?), australia brisbane, sydney, melbourne (1994), thailand (bangkok, kanchanaburi, chiangmai, chiangrai) (lost count), indonesia (bintan, batam, jember, surabaya) (trice?), brunei (lost count), etc etc etc...

ps: those highlighted in blue were for holidays, unhighlighted ones were for work.

gay ***

we have (myself included) too often been guilty of writing and expressing things using the prefix "gay" without know what we were trying to say - gay lifestyle, gay pub, gay club, gay pool, gay life, gay bar, gay la la la... and i sometimes think - what is it so gay about what we were saying that warrant it to be branded gay? for example, gay lifestyle. it's still a lifestyle right? what is so gay about it? all straight people also do what we do as a gay people do. ok, other than the part about having sex with another person of the same gender, what other things can be listed that straights don't do? so what is gay lifestyle? ok, i am not saying that the word gay does not have a place in the english dictionary. what i am saying is that we have generalized it, used it, and abused it so much that it has now become meaningless. and worst still, our mindless use of the "gay"-word might have also created unnecessary backlash due to the perception that we are a separate entity from the larger society. the thing about branding is that it differentiates things, and the results might not necessarily be good.

the issue here is - why do we so consciously and deliberately want to do it and if we are so conscious about it, why then are we doing it so loosely? are we so obsessed and insecure about ourselves and our identity that we are creating this invisible wall around ourselves? have we created this vague boundary that demarcate what is gay vs what is straight ourselves? have we become victims of our own insecurities? and in doing so, are we not creating this "you are with me, or you are not with me" mentality, both amongst gays and straights? and in doing so, do we not end up creating more restrictions for ourselves? do we not end up being unfair to ourselves inadvertently? and of cos, we usually blame it on the straights... it's cyclical isn't is. and part of the reasons of the continued cyclical nature is becos we fuel it by drawing that clear boundaries - this is gay, that is not, they discriminate me, i am gay, they are not, etc. no?

why do we not just go live our lives without bothering how people look at us (straight and gays)? why are we so insecure? also, have we not, in the attempt to push people's boundaries using our own agenda and our own benchmarks, created problems for other people like us? i often have gay people telling me i should come out loud and proud to my family. i have gay people who, in their own self-centric beliefs of freedom to love and gay activistic agenda, imposed their views upon me to the extend of scolding me/ telling me off for not coming out to my mum. to them everything is about them. everything is about being gay, out and proud. to me, they have failed to look beyond what is "them", they have failed to look at issues like respect, considerations, responsibilities and so on. to me, out and proud is not about announcing to the world you are a flamboyant queen. rather, it is about the confidence you have as a gay person and the ability to carry yourself well as an individual. from that perspective, being out and proud is about living one's life confidently and happily. you see, in no where is it stated here that i need to announce to the world that i am gay. i am gay because i am. not because i need to live up to someone's norms.

and for those of you who think being out and proud means telling the world about your sexuality, coming out to your parents, be a flaming queen, etc. good for you. as long as you are comfortable and happy with it. and if you have an issue with the society and the rules of the society, go deal with them and address it to the correct people, no need to impose your agenda (gay or otherwise) on people who have their own issues and their considerations as they manage their own space. and to those people who have time and again told me off and tried to convince me that being gay, i must come out to the world as well as my mum, i tell them - go get a proper perspective about life. they have failed to see the very simple logic that what makes them happy may not make other people happy.

out or otherwise.

then again, back to my original point, we are what we define ourselves to be. as long as we are happy. no need to define and create useless boundaries to differentiate.

agree?

splitting headaches

i am increasingly getting more splitting headaches these days. the kind of throbbing headaches that refuses to go away and i get this dull but strong feeling of something tugging in my head whenever i shift my head a little. it happened couple of nights ago and it is happening again now. added to this, i am also experiencing nightly insomnia...

why huh?

here but not here

was at a japanese restaurant last evening and noted one very interesting but very sad thing - there were people who were there physically but not there emotionally, psychologically, mentally, and so on. and it was extra sad when this happened to everone in a family. read on.

from what we observed, a lot of the dining guests were regular customers. one family came in and it was obvious the chef knew them for he shouted out to them by name when they stepped into the restaurant. and as soon as they took their seat by the sushi/ sashimi counter, the chef started chatted happily with them. this family had 2 kids (probably about 8-9 years old). these kids, however, were not too particularly interested in talking uncle chef. instead, they whipped out their ipad and started playing their online games. they ignored the chef and soon enough, got lost into a world of their own. singaporean kids, i thought. sometime down, i was sure they would have issues with socialising with people. then again, it was none of my business right? i carried on eating.

soon enough, another family walked in.

hallow... dr ong! (surname has been changed) shouted out the restaurant staff and quickly ushered the family to their seats. another restaurant staff rushed forward and started talking to the mrs ong. hmmm, very familiar indeed. well, dr and mrs ong had a son and a daugther. the son should be about 12 yrs old and the daughter about 10 yrs old. both bespectacled and omg, the son's spectacles were super thick, close to a 1000 degrees myopic i was sure. the family took their seat beside bee and i and mrs ong spared no time and started rattling off what they wanted. bowl of cherry tomatoes for the daughter, a plate of gyoza for the son, chawanmushi all round, a big serving of ebi tempura, etc etc etc... and even before mrs ong was done ordering, dr ong, son ong and daughter ong whipped out their own electronic toys - dr ong with his smart phone, son and daughter ong with their nintendos (looks like it) - and started playing with them. mrs ong joined in with her own smart phone immediately after she finished ordering the food. and very soon, the whole family settled comfortably into their dinner table. it was a case of family ong was physically there, but mentally, emotionally, psychologically, all of them were in their own worlds... it was not long later when dr ong realized what was happening and asked everyone to not play games. the kids ignored him. as for him and the wife, despite not playing, they went into this silent, "i eat my food, you eat yours" state of affairs. as for the kids, they carried on playing. when the food arrive, once a while, the kids would stretch out their hands to take a piece or two, stuffed them into their mouths and carried on playing, oblivious seemingly to what they were eating.

superbly sad!!! i thought the first family was bad, but this one was much much much worst. a "dr" title for the dad, a lot of earnings i supposed given that they seemed to be able to splurge on such dinners rather often, but really, the quality of life is really doubtful if you ask me lor...

sighs sighs sighs...

just imagine - sometime in the near future, people would all be living in a matrix world. everyone alive, breathing and kicking but not interacting physically. rather, everyone is plugged into their own devices and existing in their own make believe world - a world that each and everyone think is real. to them, that is.

argh!

tom hanks @ orchard

was at isetan orchard with bee and saw a huge crowd gathered at the ground floor. there was a red carpet laid out and the crowd had gathered on both sides of the red carpet. i soon learned that it was shaw lido cineplex's grand opening tonight. it was clear that some celebrity had been invited. and before i knew it... i saw tom hanks. not too tall, rather fair and very friendly. he literally stopped every 2 step to talk to people. anyway, what caught my attention and amused me was not tom hanks (i am not too particularly a person who chase celebrities in the first place). rather, it was the comments and reactions of people around me that made me smile. here's some of it...

(1) passer-by hokkien auntie to her fellow hokkien auntie (in hokkien): wah... who is that? so many people! her hokkien auntie friend: i also don't know... i can only see a lot of ang mo people, don't even know what the big deal is? tsk tsk tsk... so many people... i don't know how to appreciate. i don't even know what the hell is happening!... and they strutted off...

(2) teenage mat gang walking by not knowing who the hell tom hanks was and as per a lot of typical attention-seeking mat gang, they started talking loudly. one mat shouting to another mat: ooi ooi, siapa tu? siapa tu?... the other mat replied: alamak, tak tau la... tu! tu! tu!... siapa tu? ehhhh, michael jackson ke? (roll eyes)

(3) inside isetan, one elderly american lady to her husband (strong american slang): what's the commotion about? there must be someone important coming! husband: well, i dunno (turning to singaporean salesgirl) eh... do you know who's coming? singaporean salesgirl: ahhhh, ahhhh... i donno leh! but ne'er mind, see see... and they all leaned forward and waited eagerly (of cos i told them it was tom hanks and the american lady got excited...)

(4) second floor isetan, china chinese salesgirl (when she saw people screaming as tom hanks walked up the escalator) (in shrilling voice and in beijing mandarin to her fellow china chinese salesgirl): who the hell is that? (her salesgirl friend) ah, i donno too, but wahhhh... everyone screaming, take picture take picture and she whipped out her handphone camera and started snapping (by which time tom hanks had disappeared)...

hahaha...

:-)

fashion haywire

was walking around orchard area earlier on and i noticed this guy - very nice looking, prim and proper, almost nerdy, typical singapore civil-servant looking and very neatly dressed in a well pressed nice fitting short sleeve shirt. the shirt looked equally nerdy - very 3-arrow brand type - the type that i am sure not many gay men would wear... hahaha. he was with his girlfriend (or almost girlfriend). they were at the early stage of dating i guess cos they were joking and laughing but walked with a small distance apart. i had noticed them since bee and i were at wheelock. and when we walked around isetan shaw towers, they were there too.

but it was not until shaw that i noticed his dressing in full...

short sleeve shirt (see above description) that was tugged out (wah lau!!!), loose navy blue coloured jeans (double wah-lau!!!), and tennis-shoes (triple wah lau!!!)...

must be straight!

:-)

ps: don't get me wrong, each piece of the dressing was perfectly fine and nice. it when he wore all of them together, they clashed like no one business! and all these were made worst by the fact that he wore a superbly nerdy pair of glasses!

nice dinner

we decided to head to a new place for a nice dinner earlier on. and we wanted to try a new place. hmmm... should we head to bukit timah? changi village? orchard road? dempsey place? jurong? in the end, we went to tanglin shopping center. we thought that would be a nice place to look at antiques and art pieces. and as for dinner, bee said he wanted something simple. for me, with my diet restrictions, i thought japanese would be most appropriate... sashimi, sushi, la la la... and that was what we agreed on in the end. japanese.

we wondered around the place. it was one end of the orchard road that we hardly walked and for a while, it felt like we were overseas. nice! we eventually ended up at this place called akanoya robatayaki. nice quaint looking place from the outside, but once we stepped in, it felt totally japanese. well... almost, cos the staff there spoke a lot of mandarin, and mostly malaysian accented mandarin too! heh heh... but we did not regret. the menu was unusual, the food was truly awesome (awwweeesome indeed!!!) and the service was good. of cos, the price was a little high, but considering the wonderful experience, we thought it was well worth it!

it was a nice saturday indeed!

:-)

ps: the things we ate were rather common - salmon belly, reverse california sushi, chawanmushi, stewed pork, grilled codfish, garlic rice, cold soba, gyoza etc... but the way they cook and the freshness of the produce... it was simply heavenly! just imagine biting into things and the juice just ooze out... and the burst of flavours... hmmmm...

mutant & proud

x-man origins: first class

i am "mutant and proud".

i like... no, i love it!

hmmm... sound so gay right? everytime i watch x-men (regardless of which episode or which show), i will always get reminded of myself... a gay person. the words, the nuances, the storyline, and so on. and it was the same for the latest instalment - x-men origins: first class. then again, was i reading to much? maybe i was, maybe i was not. but watching shows such as x-men, i am sure all marginalized communities would be able to identify with the themes of wanting to fit in, hostilities, fear, stigmatization, etc right? then again, who cares? i am mutant and proud, i am gay and proud. what difference does it make? as long as i am happy and comfortable with what i am, that is the most important right?

ahhh, yes, i watched x-men origins: first class earlier on and it was really awesome. it explained everything! all questions i had about magneto, professor x, mystique, etc all fell into place. questions like - what were the origins behind their names, why professor x had to sit in a wheel chair, why magneto turned bad, what was the origins behind magneto's headgear, why professor x had never attempted to read mystique's mind, why magneto cried when professor x died, how the beast came about, etc... everything was answered! loved the show!

:-)

chinese sinseh again

i decided to seek tcm help again for my non-stop cough. today, it was a different sinseh. and she made it sound so serious. wah... your 五脏六腑 or wu zang liu fu (five viscera [yin organs] and six bowels [yang organs]) all got problems! and she went on to explain how one was linked to another and how the system of problems came together and resulted in my cough... she said although i am relatively young by age, my body is already like an old aged person.

i felt like a dead person by the time she finished explaining!

hehe... well, whatever the case, what was significant was that she told me i should keep away from chicken, duck, all forms of nuts/ legumes, no tofu or tofu-related products, no oily stuff, no spicy stuff, no fruits (well, apple is ok) and no cold stuff as all these would contribute to weakening my system... but interestingly, she said it is ok for me to eat pork, fish, mutton and beef. i have all along thought mutton and beef is high in cholesterol and i should avoid them. but she clarified that i should go for the lean parts and avoid the fats.

hmmm... looks like i'm gonna go on another slimming drive!

:-)

ps: oh, the sinseh told me i need to sleep by 11pm nightly instead of pass midnight. challenging lo... cos the thing is - i cannot sleep so easily as i also suffer from insomnia!...