haywire mum

mum went haywire again this evening. 

visited her at the hospital during lunch as well as during the evening visitation hour. i left a little earlier and told her i will be heading out for dinner. all things seemed well. she called me later in the evening at about 9.26pm. i was in the shower and noted i had 3 missed calls. when i called back, she refused to answer the call. and it took me quite a while and almost about 20 over calls before she picked the call. even then she refused to talk. and in the background i heard her shouting "i don't give a damn about him, i don't want to talk to him!" 

well... she has gone berserk yet again by the sounds of it. sighs, must be her paranoia. you see, every time she calls me and i don't pick up the call, or when i pick the call a little longer than expected, she would demand to know where i was and who i was with. she has this thing about "people wanting to kill her" and constantly believes that i mix with people who are out to harm her. and so whenever i answer her calls late, it would naturally mean "i am having a meeting with bad people to kill her". very tiring, frankly. anyway, i called her again and again and after some 15min, the nurse picked the call. she doesn't want to talk to you, the nurse said. i know, but i insisted i wanted to talk to her. if i don't hear her voice, i will continue calling, i said. the nurse tried to coax my mum to talk but she refused. she couldn't do anything and decided to just let things be. and so for the next one hour, i kept on calling her handphone, non-stop. 

i wanted to make an impact on her. it was after almost an hour of non-stop calling before i stopped. and i called the hospital ward and spoke with the nurse. i apologized for disturbing them but explained that i had to do it. i wanted to make the impression on her. that she should not behave like that. the nurse was nice and told me she understood. and i told the nurse to work with me to manage her, given her anxiety, paranoia and delusional nature. "go take the phone from her, switch it off, tell her that her son (aka me) is disturbing everyone and that you needed to switch off her phone. show her your action of switching off the phone, i need her to see your action so that she will not expect any more calls. also, for tonight, observe her closely. don't disturb her sleep. she will dream, she might be delusional. if this happens, she will see my grandfather and she might just go berserk and want to leave the hospital. please observe her closely."

it was after this call and talk to the nurse that i stopped calling. i will let her sleep for tonight. hopefully she goes through without any issues. i am sure she will be emotional and would refuse to talk to me tomorrow. such emotional swings happen all the time. it is something that i cannot get use to, despite having happened many times before. well... let's just see how it unfolds...

haiz...