i came back from work today and for reasons unknown, once i appeared at the door, she raised her voice and asked me how come you came home in the afternoon? i thought i heard wrongly as sapphie was barking at the same time and asked her what she said, and she asked the same question again... this time, a little louder. feeling a little curious, i asked her why she thought i came home and she curtly replied someone told me. her tone was somewhat unhappy. and she repeated her question yet again.
i turned the question around and demanded who told her such lies. how could i possibly come home when i was so bloody busy at work! i asked and without allowing her to recover from my questioning, i followed immediately with a demand, whoever told you this, i wanna know. she retracted and said, oh, i was simply asking. i did not say you came home, i was simply asking whether you came home. it was not meant to sound angry... i knew that moment that she was mentally off again. her sentences were not coherent. and i have seen enough of such responses to know she is off...
i told myself i needed to create an impression on her mentally. if not, she would continue to imagine all sorts of things. i did not let the matter rest. i twisted my response and told her that she must be vigilant and do not let people influence her thinking. i iterated that as an elderly person, she could easily fall victim to liars who were out to cheat old people of their valuables. as i said all these, i was acutely aware that no one could possibly tell her anything and it was due to her delusional state of mind. and i was cock sure about it cos i did not return home. and once again, i demanded to know again who told her such lies.
this time round, her reply was different again. she said, you don't know that person. i also do not know cos i hardly met him (or her). so don't ask so much. and she added, since you said you did not return, so be it. you did not return... i continued to put pressure on her, and i asked again, and again, and again, who was this person who told you lies! i knew she could not answer. and i eventually added that i was not to be bullied and would not hesitate to call the police if people told lies about me and as a result create tensions between me and her. i added that if the allegations were against my brother, he would have given the person a good trashing. and i threatened the same response. she kept quiet.
i framed my responses carefully, layering different messages within each sentence. i wanted to make an impression on her mentally yet without making her defensive or upset. and although i went on and on about this "person", how i cannot tolerate illogical accusations and lies, and threatening to take actions against him etc, much of my sentences were actually directed at her and her warped logic. do not accuse me, doubt me or put words in my mouth, my (unspoken yet clear) messages rang loud and clear. and frankly, i was also experimenting with different responses to her delusional state to assess the effects on her.
she seemed ok after all my strong responses. and she was rather chatty as i brought her for dinner and some shopping. let's see how she is tomorrow.
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