talking to my mum

i am not sure if i have posted something similar before, it is about talking to elderly. or rather, how to talk to elderly who suffers from mental issues such as paranoia, anxiety and depression. and i am referring to my mum.

i got a call from mum at 5.25pm today, even before i knock off from work. she asked how come i have not reached home, considering i "always reach home at 5.30pm". feeling a little confused, i reminded her that i usually reach home at 6-ish. and that 5.30pm is my usual release time from work. and i asked her why the sudden call... "your sis called to ask what time you'll be back and i told her you always come home by 5.30pm".

hmmm... i noticed this trend in her behaviour. that whenever anyone asks her about anything regarding date and/ or time, and if she cannot give a satisfactory answer, she will get anxious. and she will go mental and would call me non-stop. and then she would go into her moods. at times, she would even get worried about the date/ time for many days to come. and the lessons i have learned when dealing with her are 

• when talking to her, don't ask about date/ time of events, 

• don't ask anything about specific individuals, especially me. cos once she gets into a situation where she is not clear about what i am doing or where i am, she would get suspicious and anxious,

• when talking to her, never give opinions, no judgements should be made unless it is about things that happened in the past and it is about dead people, otherwise, i risk being misquoted, 

• never ask about future events cos it will lead her to wonder about when it will happen, the date, the time, the location, etc.

anyway, what happened after her call was that i had to call her a couple of times to assure her that i only knock off at 5.30pm and that i will only arrive home at 6-ish. and as expected, when i arrived home, she was suspicious and gave me that look from the side of her eyes. and she refused to go for dinner, and started accusing me of being rude to her, of talking down on her, and so on... and she started peeing all over the house. and on top of that, for the whole evening, she was suspicious of me when smses came in, when i walk into the kitchen, when i go to the toilet, etc... everything i did was looked upon with suspicions. even now as i am typing this blog entry, she kept stealing glances at me and looking into the screen of the laptop. well...

what else can i do right? i have only to keep beside her to reduce her suspicions and to constantly talk to her and keep her company.

haiz...