in jun last year, i wrote about this college mate of mine who, over a span of 2 years, kept calling me to lend her cash. and each time she contacted me, she gave all sorts of stories as to why she needed help. eventually, sometime mid-last year, despite some difficulties, i decided to lend a helping hand. and after helping her, her smses came in one after another asking for more and more cash, and all the smses were laden with phrases that reeked of emotional blackmail. ultimately, i decided to stop responding.
from the conversations and smses, i concluded she is a hopeless gambling addict who, for the sake of gambling, had sold off her house and investments, borrowed heavily from relatives and loan sharks, etc. she has been on the run from our local loan sharks and has gone into hiding in macau since mid-last year.
two months back, she sent me another bout of smses from macau asking for money again. one of the sms started with something about being compassionate and helping her is more noble than building a pagoda (a commonly used chinese phrase)... i ignored her. i suspected she has not shaken off that habit and was trying her luck at the casinos there.
some weeks later, she smsed me again saying that she was about to jump off a building and that only i could save her by transferring cash into her bank account. i ignored all these smses but i felt very uneasy. what if she really jump? i would have been guilty of causing her death. the objective part of me told me to switch off my phone and ignore her. for a few days after that sms, i kept a lookout in the papers for news about a singaporean woman committing suicide in macau. there wasn't any. her smses stopped too.
and these couple of weeks, her smses started coming in again. and consistently, there were elements of emotional blackmailing. i did not respond as usual. this morning, she smsed me again asking me to pass her the contact number of one of our college mate. and she added that she was suffering out in the cold with no place to go (9 degrees she added). again, i ignored her. i cannot imagine putting another of my college mate through the same ordeal that i went through.
it is getting a tat too irritating for me and i almost wanted to tell her how disappointed i was in her and how she had abused our friendship and my trust in her. then again, i thought it might be better to just ignore her and let her continue to dwell in her cycle of sufferings. i cannot help her unless she help herself. my heart felt heavy previously whenever i ignored her. but now, somehow, it had been hardened. sad.
sighs...
how would you react if you were me?
ps: i am resigned to the fact that the large amount i lent her would probably not come back to me but i guess money lost can be earned back over time. just take it as a bad investment.
picture from http://www.123rf.com/photo_10203784_singapore-money-in-a-jar-symbol-of-savings-money-isolated-on-white-background.html
from the conversations and smses, i concluded she is a hopeless gambling addict who, for the sake of gambling, had sold off her house and investments, borrowed heavily from relatives and loan sharks, etc. she has been on the run from our local loan sharks and has gone into hiding in macau since mid-last year.
two months back, she sent me another bout of smses from macau asking for money again. one of the sms started with something about being compassionate and helping her is more noble than building a pagoda (a commonly used chinese phrase)... i ignored her. i suspected she has not shaken off that habit and was trying her luck at the casinos there.
some weeks later, she smsed me again saying that she was about to jump off a building and that only i could save her by transferring cash into her bank account. i ignored all these smses but i felt very uneasy. what if she really jump? i would have been guilty of causing her death. the objective part of me told me to switch off my phone and ignore her. for a few days after that sms, i kept a lookout in the papers for news about a singaporean woman committing suicide in macau. there wasn't any. her smses stopped too.
and these couple of weeks, her smses started coming in again. and consistently, there were elements of emotional blackmailing. i did not respond as usual. this morning, she smsed me again asking me to pass her the contact number of one of our college mate. and she added that she was suffering out in the cold with no place to go (9 degrees she added). again, i ignored her. i cannot imagine putting another of my college mate through the same ordeal that i went through.
it is getting a tat too irritating for me and i almost wanted to tell her how disappointed i was in her and how she had abused our friendship and my trust in her. then again, i thought it might be better to just ignore her and let her continue to dwell in her cycle of sufferings. i cannot help her unless she help herself. my heart felt heavy previously whenever i ignored her. but now, somehow, it had been hardened. sad.
sighs...
how would you react if you were me?
ps: i am resigned to the fact that the large amount i lent her would probably not come back to me but i guess money lost can be earned back over time. just take it as a bad investment.
picture from http://www.123rf.com/photo_10203784_singapore-money-in-a-jar-symbol-of-savings-money-isolated-on-white-background.html
Like you said, it's emotional blackmail. If you "help" her, you will be victimizing yourself.
ReplyDeletei supposed so... i had already victimized myself once before... sighs...
ReplyDeleteu did the right thing..all this thing will eventually come to an end
ReplyDeletei supposed so... i feel sad for her.
ReplyDelete