yup, that is how i am feeling now. the workshop that i had planned over the last couple of months have finally ended. and i feel totally exhausted now. but alas, much as i wished i could really fall flat and not do anything, i am now tasked to scope and facilitate another major workshop in 3 weeks time. and this time round, it is not my workshop but that of my top management. haiz... and to make things worst, there are some discontent and bickering occurring at my workplace that requires my personal attention. hmmph! push on push on... perhaps, rather than taking a long break (which i think is quite difficult under current situation), i shall consider taking short half-day, or even quarter-day type of breaks to simply blank off at the pool or something along that line...
and i supposed i could also make full use of my weekends to do some work since weekends these days are spend looking after mum fulltime. spreading out some of my weekday load to my weekends might just make my weekdays more relaxing and allow me the time to blank off when i need it during work. and yes, rather than lamenting the fact that i now have less time to meet friends, i think it is time to also think about hosting people at my place... time to organize bbqs!
let's see how things go...
no, no, not good enough, it should be - "am sure things will be great!"
positive thinking!
picture from: http://slice2010.blogspot.com/
Hi, I had a nightmare this morning regarding my dad and had woken up with a start. Later in the morning, the doctor called to inform me that my dad's feeding tube would be removed today and he would be back to normal feeding. I feel really glad for him. He has been in hospital for 13 days confined to his bed. Last week, the doctor informed me that the feeding tube would be moved from the nose to the arm and I thought my poor dad had to stay there for some time.
ReplyDeleteTomorrow I am visiting him to persuade him to stay with me to recuperate upon his discharge which is going to happen some time this week. My siblings think that is the best arrangement for I work from home so I should be able to care for him 24/7.
I am a little worried because I have never cared for an aged person before. The previous time he stayed with my elder sis, also after a major surgery, my sis and her family were very stressed. My dad can be very demanding and likes to command us to do things for him and get them done right away.
I don't think my teenage son would like that. He feels that being an elder does not mean respect is automatically due to that person. He has to earn that respect. Likewise, although I am his mother, in order for my son to respect me, I have to behave in a reasonable way and earn his respect first.
I will take it as an opportunity to learn about caregiving. It won't be easy but I will take it as it comes.This past week has been tiring, taking time to visit my dad and making him feel comfortable. Tomorrow will be another busy day and I also have to clean the house which has been much neglected.
hey ladybird,
ReplyDeletevery happy to note your dad's recovery is on the right track. i wish him well.
as for looking after him, well what's important is the right attitude and a lot of resolve, patience and love. when things get tough, as they will always do, it is important to remind yourself of the love your dad has given to you and the fact that he had brought you into this world and have given you the right values to live your life.
take the time to reflect, to reconnect with your dad and to spend quality time with him. this is probably the best gift you can give to him and yourself.
once, again, happy to note his fast recovery and am sure things will be fine!
stay positive!
Hi friend, thanks for your encouragement. I needed it. Last night, my partner got very upset. It was about getting the flat ready for my dad. Years of bitterness and pain have transformed him into a very negative and intolerant person. Conversations with him often end with harsh words from him. He could not stand inefficiency even at home. Most of the times I retreat and keep quiet.
ReplyDeleteFor me, because I will be taking care of my own dad, I will definitely be very patient with him. Without him, I wouldn't be who I am today. But it's different for my partner. Every night he comes home totally drained and he is coping with his depression without medication.
My teen son asked again why his dad is quiet about his sexual orientation. After all he had come out more than 2 years ago. He needs to know whether his dad accepts him. Even if he doesn't, he will not hold it against him. He just needs an answer.
My teen son is also very fearful of NS. It's less than 3 years away. He told me he is going to be open about his sexual orientation and out himself in NS. What will be the consequences? Is he being foolish if he does that?
My family is not close-knit. The responsibility for looking after my parents and keeping the business going rests entirely on my elder sis. My remaining 2 brothers want no part in it. I feel very indignant for my sis because whenever my dad is hospitalised, they question my sis with "How did you take care of dad?" or "What did you feed him?"
My family is like "a plate of scattered sand". When my dad was feeling very sick in hospital, he worried not about whether his last days were near but his sons fighting over the business and whatever he has. My brothers complain and compare how much my dad gave to them (the 3 sons). They felt my deceased brother got the most. Yes, my dad supported my deceased brother financially for many years. Sometimes I wonder how he could be happy with no purpose in life idling his time away depending on his aged father to support his family. It was a wasted life. Maybe it led to his early demise.
hi ladybird, thanks for sharing all these details about your family. i supposed it is important that you recognize there are many things that each and every one involved has his/ her own part and responsibilities. and ultimately, everyone has to accept that they will have no rest nor peace of mind if they cannot accept the fact that they need to move away from greed, anger and hatred in order to be happy.
ReplyDeleteyou can only try to enlighten them or share with them about this and there are no much that you can do to help them if they cannot help themselves.
for your son, i guess it is normal for him to want to seek affirmation. if his dad is not ready to respond, there is really nothing he can do. he also needs to recognise that his dad also has to come to terms with the fact that he has a gay son. coming out is not about oneself. coming out involves everyone around a person. so, i hope he understands this and does not end up blaming his dad for keeping quiet. as to whether he comes out in NS or not, my suggestion is for him to think through and do whatever he thinks is best for him. that way, he takes ownership of the decision. it is important that he does so and goes a long way to mould his character too. but do make sure that you communicate to him that in asking him to make the decision, it is not becos you are not supportive but becos you want him to be mature to manage his life by himself and do his own research about it. whichever decision he makes, you should be there to support him. that is the best gift you can give to him. and i am sure he will appreciate it.
as for your dad, you have already got off a good start by having the right attitude. just make sure you constantly remind yourself about it cos the efforts of looking after the elderly can be very demanding.
:-)