depressed?

have been very unhappy lately.

at work, i have to contend with unhappy faces and an environment that changes according to the mood of my boss. and almost daily, we will see him talking down on some one, and that tenses me up. off work, i have to make sure people around me do not feel restricted. and at home, i have to constantly pretend to be cheerful and hide my actions so as not to cause my mum unnecessary mental tensions. lots of pretending and lots of hiding. just yesterday, i brought her to the hospital for her check-up and as she waited for her turn to see the doctor, i managed to excuse myself for a while to visit my uncle at the ward. i managed to do so after lying to mum i had to take my lunch. i cannot be natural, cannot be authentic, cannot be myself. and i need to suppress myself and live a life of pretence and lies. added to all these, i experience pains and discomfort physically. arghhh...

ok, am venting. as long i people are happy and as long as there is harmony, i suppose that is most important. i have to calm myself down and be positive. but i do sometimes wonder if am i showing signs of depression.

i really don't know.