these days i feel tired very easily. could it be due to the medication? could it be due to the kidney stones? i don't know. all i know is that i would feel lethargic the whole day. and i would sleep and sleep and sleep through the day, as i had done so over the pass 2 days. and frankly, i find it extremely irksome for people to either throw me last minute requirements to go here or there, or to chase and hurry me.
today, i woke up at 7-plus. decided to sleep again and finally at about 9am, i decided i should wake up. went about doing some basic routine and next thing i knew, mum insisted she wanted to go to the temple. wtf! just brought her to the temple yesterday and today she wanted to go again. it's a different temple she insisted. why don't we go over the weekend? no, today is the 2nd day of lny and is a good day. must be today. ok, ok, i said. next thing i knew i found that she had cooked porridge. damned, had always told her not to do cooking and that when i am at home, i would do all the necessary. ok, small matter, small matter... let me go wash up first ok? and before i could even do so, she chased me again. and she demanded that i must bring 12 oranges, reminded me again, and again and again, and again. yup, you got the drift. she went on non-stop about this and that. damned damned damned! and through the morning, as i gave sapphie a bath, do a quick cleaning of the house, prepare breakfast for her, she kept chasing me and reminding me about this and that...
and her response when i told her i need to settle things first? you don't bring me, i take taxi. ya, rite, you cannot even walk to the toilet properly and now you are trying to tell me you can go to the temple yourself. i was half about to tell her to suit herself. well, i did not. we went to the temple in the end, and through the whole visit, she wouldn't allow me to do things my way. it must be her way. you must park your car here, i want to walk, i don't want wheelchair, and before i can even properly lock the car, she walked off quickly, and after less than 50m, she collapsed onto the wheelchair! ... you must put 4 oranges here, you must get me the joss stick, you must stick the joss stick in the urn, you must this, you must that... give me 2 dollars! i want to put into the donation box, i want to eat vegetarian noodle, and on and on and on... and the worst part was, before i can do one thing, she would ask me to do the next, and next, and next...
it was not often that i was so pissed off. i decided not to light any joss stick for myself. no point trying to do something like lighting the joss stick when my own heart was so pissed off. it really irked me to feel that my life is not within my own control and that i have adjust my energy levels to the whims and fancies of her whenever i am at home/ not at work. and that in itself is one fucking difficult to do becos new requirements would crop up again and again.
once i reached home, i collapsed onto my bed. i want to sleep. don't disturb me. and i locked my door.
i am so so fucking tired.
today, i woke up at 7-plus. decided to sleep again and finally at about 9am, i decided i should wake up. went about doing some basic routine and next thing i knew, mum insisted she wanted to go to the temple. wtf! just brought her to the temple yesterday and today she wanted to go again. it's a different temple she insisted. why don't we go over the weekend? no, today is the 2nd day of lny and is a good day. must be today. ok, ok, i said. next thing i knew i found that she had cooked porridge. damned, had always told her not to do cooking and that when i am at home, i would do all the necessary. ok, small matter, small matter... let me go wash up first ok? and before i could even do so, she chased me again. and she demanded that i must bring 12 oranges, reminded me again, and again and again, and again. yup, you got the drift. she went on non-stop about this and that. damned damned damned! and through the morning, as i gave sapphie a bath, do a quick cleaning of the house, prepare breakfast for her, she kept chasing me and reminding me about this and that...
and her response when i told her i need to settle things first? you don't bring me, i take taxi. ya, rite, you cannot even walk to the toilet properly and now you are trying to tell me you can go to the temple yourself. i was half about to tell her to suit herself. well, i did not. we went to the temple in the end, and through the whole visit, she wouldn't allow me to do things my way. it must be her way. you must park your car here, i want to walk, i don't want wheelchair, and before i can even properly lock the car, she walked off quickly, and after less than 50m, she collapsed onto the wheelchair! ... you must put 4 oranges here, you must get me the joss stick, you must stick the joss stick in the urn, you must this, you must that... give me 2 dollars! i want to put into the donation box, i want to eat vegetarian noodle, and on and on and on... and the worst part was, before i can do one thing, she would ask me to do the next, and next, and next...
it was not often that i was so pissed off. i decided not to light any joss stick for myself. no point trying to do something like lighting the joss stick when my own heart was so pissed off. it really irked me to feel that my life is not within my own control and that i have adjust my energy levels to the whims and fancies of her whenever i am at home/ not at work. and that in itself is one fucking difficult to do becos new requirements would crop up again and again.
once i reached home, i collapsed onto my bed. i want to sleep. don't disturb me. and i locked my door.
i am so so fucking tired.
No comments:
Post a Comment