unhappy

i have been away from my blog for a while. been rather stressed out lately. and i attributed this to the whole process of preparing for the management meeting that would be held this week. the meeting was supposed to chart out the focus for the company and all units in the immediate few years. adding to this stress, my unit had been put through a total of 4 audits over the last 4 months, the last being yesterday where a government agency visited to audit my unit's ability to conduct training. thankfully, i cleared all the audits.

anyway, this week started off very badly for me. was hauled up to my big boss's office and given a good trashing by him. work-related. but still, it felt one helluva lousy cos it was not a case of my team not trying. in fact, as i see it, it was a case of my staff being the victim of politicking by my predecessor and many other people. also, my boss had some past history with my staff and now that my staff had fumbled, he is downloading his frustrations on me. he ended the trashing by telling me - since you stand by him, when he goes, you go!

looks like the time to go might be coming soon. anyway, i have touched base with the hr consultancy firm that placed me in this job. the boss was kinda surprised with my mail. well... i will probably be meeting up with him soon if things continue to spiral like that.

sighs!

but on the bright side, my team banded very much better after the whole fiasco and stress during these couple of weeks. certainly, nothing beats going through the storm together. i supposed i felt a little more stressed becos despite all these top-down trashing, i was still egging them on and smiling away. being a leader is tough. if your subordinate expects you to motivate them, then who motivates you?

hmmm...