last week, amidst all the hoohah about coming back from overseas and rushing through all the admin, arranging meetings, helping another unit (that i previously was from) sort out the big picture and put the programmes in place, i was arrowed to front a major project. i was furious when i got the arrow and the people that broke the news to me were giving me weird cheeky faces (like as though they were telling me "good luck" in a sarcastic manner)...
and my big boss told me - i wanna give you a challenge... and with that simple sentence, i recieved the arrow. it was a huge load from out of no where. next thing i knew, i have to present the business plan this coming week. it all happened to suddenly and i took it very badly. my starting point a very negative one. i had not seen it coming, i was aware of it as i was consulted by one of the managers handling this project and i had advised against taking it out cos the odds were really against us. so... you can imagine how aghast i felt when i got the arrowed for the project. and worst still, when i saw the slides that was presented, it was suggested that i head the project... and this transpired without even consulting me.
anyway, i went through a whole day of mental tension. and i was displeased about the who development. every angle of my thoughts about the project was about how to justify when it cannot go on. and after a while, i decided to ask myself to quieten down and look it objectively. why did i resist? was it a face issue? was it a gut feel issue? was it a self-confidence issue? was it a "i" issue? perhaps it was. perhaps i was getting personal. perhaps i had fallen into the trap of "self"-centeredness again. and then i asked again - what if it can? perhaps i should think it through again. perhaps i should give it a second thought. why not take this as a challenge (the exact same word my boss used). why not take it as an opportunity to show my capability. why not participate constructively and think through the issue. and let the big boss decide. if it is a yes, do it, and if it is a no, then drop it.
well, ok, after thinking about it this way, i felt better. and although i did not read through the document over the weekend, i told myself it is ok. be positive. there is still time to work on it. starting it positively is already a good start. and tonight, i shall rest (i hope) for tomorrow, it will be the start of a new challenging week!
:-)
and my big boss told me - i wanna give you a challenge... and with that simple sentence, i recieved the arrow. it was a huge load from out of no where. next thing i knew, i have to present the business plan this coming week. it all happened to suddenly and i took it very badly. my starting point a very negative one. i had not seen it coming, i was aware of it as i was consulted by one of the managers handling this project and i had advised against taking it out cos the odds were really against us. so... you can imagine how aghast i felt when i got the arrowed for the project. and worst still, when i saw the slides that was presented, it was suggested that i head the project... and this transpired without even consulting me.
anyway, i went through a whole day of mental tension. and i was displeased about the who development. every angle of my thoughts about the project was about how to justify when it cannot go on. and after a while, i decided to ask myself to quieten down and look it objectively. why did i resist? was it a face issue? was it a gut feel issue? was it a self-confidence issue? was it a "i" issue? perhaps it was. perhaps i was getting personal. perhaps i had fallen into the trap of "self"-centeredness again. and then i asked again - what if it can? perhaps i should think it through again. perhaps i should give it a second thought. why not take this as a challenge (the exact same word my boss used). why not take it as an opportunity to show my capability. why not participate constructively and think through the issue. and let the big boss decide. if it is a yes, do it, and if it is a no, then drop it.
well, ok, after thinking about it this way, i felt better. and although i did not read through the document over the weekend, i told myself it is ok. be positive. there is still time to work on it. starting it positively is already a good start. and tonight, i shall rest (i hope) for tomorrow, it will be the start of a new challenging week!
:-)
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