unruly man

i learned something new about myself today. and i felt very good about it. i felt very powerful. i was able to control myself. you see, i met with the most unruly person and got punched by him. by his actions, i could have reported him to the police. but in the end, i decided to let him go. i decided to forgive and forget. and i came out of the episode feeling very happy. anyway, this was wat happened.

you see, i would bring my dog sapphie to the business park to walk almost on a daily basis. given that the path to the park and the park itself was rather deserted, i would usually let her run around without her leash. and i have been doing this for the longest i could remember and have never had any issues with anyone. for that matter, anyone who sees sapphie would somehow come and play with her instead. she is just so mild-tempered. anyway, linking this business park to my condo is a canal. and along the side of the canal is a small walkway. today, as i walked sapphie home, i saw this particular person walking towards me. he had his dog with him. at that time, sapphie was happily sniffing the grass by the side of the walkway. seeing sapphie unleashed, he stopped and pointed his fingers at me. sensing his apprehension about an unleashed dog, i immediately gave him an apology gesture and commanded sapphie to stay still. i then went up to her and leashed her. all these while, the man and his dog were some 20-30m away.

after leashing sapphie up, i proceeded to walk towards my condo (in the direction of the man and his dog). and to prevent sapphie from going to sniff the man's dog, i walked close to the canal barrier with sapphie between me and the barrier. i hugged close to the canal leaving the huge grass patch beside for the man and his dog to walk. as he neared me, instead of walking on the grass patch, he let his dog dashed between sapphie and i. next thing i knew, he leaned onto me. there was no where for me to move and i was pushed onto sapphie and against the canal barrier. within a split second, his dog pounced onto sapphie. at the same time, the man raised his arm, pressed his elbow onto my back, pushed me down and punched my back with his clenched fist. my immediate instinct was to hold onto the dog's leash to prevent him from hurting sapphie. but as the man had pushed me down, his dog's leash that i was holding tightened and the i felt his dog bite my hand. i had experienced something similar with sapphie biting my hand when she was a puppy and i immediately clenched my fist tight. this prevented the jaws from closing further. i was in a very precarious position - trying desperately not to pull the dog's leash too tight in case i strangle him yet exerting enough strength to resist a nasty bite and at the same time, trying to resist the burly sized owner's body from pushing me down.

it all happened very suddenly. instinctively, i pushed myself upwards, turned around and shouted at him. i managed to push the man off and as he fell back, i let go of his dog's leash. i demanded a reason as to why he punched me. he was really unruly. he turned around and started hurling all sorts of accusations at how i had threatened to attack his dog. and how he has responded in his dog's defense... i was so really fucking pissed off with him by then. despite being the aggressor, he had turned around and accused me. and i totally dislike people who do not admit their mistakes and twist their facts despite being the aggressor and in the wrong. my anger rose and we got into a very heated argument. he continued hurling his accusations...

after some 10-15mins, he finally admitted that he was in the wrong. i was able to objectively rebut every of his accusations. there was really no way he could over-argue me. i had been totally above board and clear in my mind about what i had done and what he could have done. and i guessed apart from my ability to point out the flaws in his arguments, the fact that my hand was also bleeding from his dog's bite also threw him off. he admitted he should not have done what he did. and that he had lost control of himself cos he had had a lousy weekend trying to train his dog.

after his apology, i continued giving him a lecture and asked him to think through all the wrongs and all the hostile things he did. at that time, i really needed to vent. i needed to release all the pent up frustrations and anger. apart from being pissed off with his unreasonable aggressiveness, i was also totally pissed off with his punch. never in my life was i ever hit by a person other than my mum. my half-scolding, half-lecturing rantings went on for a further 5-10 minutes or so.... and unknowingly, as i vented, i found my inner-self quietening down. in fact, as i vented, a voice in me was also telling me i need to find a way to exit this whole episode. gradually, my venting began to sound like a mak nenek (grandma) giving a small boy a long lecture... i ended by telling him i did not intend to make a police report but would like him to reflect on what he did. i thought it would have been more effective as a lesson for him.

at the end of the whole episode, i told him how much i had wanted and hoped to be able to know friends who are dog owners around the area and with whom sapphie could learn social skills. and that the experience today was certainly a highly negative one. by that time, i noted that he had also quietened down. he apologized again. i ended the whole session by wishing him a good walk with his dog...

yes, it might sound weird the way i ended this very hostile episode. but whatever it was, i certainly felt very good. very good for that fact that i was able to control myself and the situation. frankly, this was the first time in my life that i had physically got myself embroiled in a fight. one on one. for the longest time, i had known myself to be the type that would keep quiet when things go wrong and would explode violently when i hit my threshold. and when i blow, it could be really ugly. such eruptions of anger scare me. but today, i was in control. i chose to end the situation in a very controlled manner. and i walked out of the situation feeling very very good.

:-)