a friend passed on...

i was reading the papers this morning and saw a very familiar face in the obituary section. the name confirmed him to be someone i had worked with back when i was in the military. i texted another ex-colleague from the military and learnt that this friend died from lung cancer. apparently, it was discovered only recently and that it had spread to his brain. he condition worsened very quickly and died yesterday. he was 57 years old. a tat too young if you ask me. 

i supposed we all have to walk this path. sooner or later. 

may he rest in peace.

jeremy is married!

my tee (younger brother - well, not biological brother per se) is married finally! and this is the single best and positive thing that has happened to me for a very long while!

jeremy is someone i got to know when he did his national service back in 2001 and we kept in contact after that. he eventually acknowledged me as elder brother when i asked him not to address me as "sir". it's been 15 years since i knew him and he is finally married! i attended his wedding solemnisation and dinner last evening and i was so happy i kinda choked when i witnessed the tea ceremony. glad he found his soulmate finally. and looking at how they have grown over the years, i can only say they fit each other perfectly!

the dinner was a very intimate one where only very very close friends and family members were invited. felt really honoured to be there and to interact with the people that meant so much to him (and of cos to her). and yes, i finally met up with his real brother slim and his partner. we immediately connected. it's been a while since we communicated. am not sure about him but to me, it felt like we'd known each other all these while. nice right? heh... when jeremy gave his speech, i could see the little glimmer in his eyes as he thanked his brother (aka me) and his brothers (his closest friends) for our presence. and it was so nice of him to give me a little peck on my cheek when i finally bade him farewell after the dinner.

i wish them joy and everlasting love from the bottom of my heart!

:-)

doctor strange

this is one movie where science, fantasy, fiction, religion, life, death, etc come together. it's a very interesting movie and i thoroughly enjoyed it. nonetheless, it couldn't run away from the duality of good and bad and the assumption that there is higher being up there somewhere where good and bad fights. and in a way, it reminded me of the concepts subscribed by taoism. dr strange was written in the '60s and i think it is really ahead of its time when it was first released.

i thoroughly enjoyed movie and the effects.

very nice.

offer signed

it happened so fast i almost couldn't believe it...

sometime end-sep (4 weeks ago), i got a call from someone asking if i was open to discuss an opportunity. this person had interviewed me some years back for another opportunity but that didn't materialise as the company decided to use internal candidates. this person had moved to a new company and is now looking for someone to join them as the company intends to move the incumbent to head another project. we chatted a bit and i eventually met up with them 3 weeks ago. that was an interesting interview as it felt more like an informal brief. i supposed they liked me for i was very quickly scheduled for a second round of interview. that interview occurred last thursday and i had to return early from my hong kong for it. 

this week, on monday evening, i got a call asking me to provide them details of 2 referees. and on tuesday morning, i got a call - can you come down for interview this evening? that interview was a very tough one and i thought i didn't make it. frankly, i was so intimidated by the whole interview and the interviewer that i had to think very hard about whether i should proceed with the opportunity. on wednesday morning, i got a call informing me that the interviewer liked my background and that they would like to make me an offer, which i accepted. and thursday i was asked to head down to sign the offer letter, which i did on friday.

it was just non-stop, one after another. the offer is pending successful medical checks which i will do this coming monday. and if all's cleared, i should be tendering my resignation end next week.

fingers crossed.

too fast

things are happening too fast! too bloody fast indeed. but i am not complaining and i will not elaborate here until things are done. will write more over this weekend.

implanted tooth corrected

visited the dentist saturday to fix back my tooth implant. had been almost a month since the tooth was removed for repairs. and unlike the last time where the procedure was done without anaesthesia, i was given 2 jabs this time as i was squirming in pain when the dentist tried to unscrew the cap that had been placed on the root. also, in this one month, my gum had grown and had partially covered the exposed areas. on top of that, i was told the adjacent molar had shifted during this one month and to ensure the tooth fit in well, the dentist had to use a device (that looked like a huge spanner) to grab the molar and move it away forcibly. scary right? heh...

the whole procedure took almost 45 minutes. i was so pleasantly surprised when the counter assistant told me there were no charges for the procedure.

:-)

the girl on the train

it was a last minute decision to watch this show and i didn't regret it. there were so many twists and turns in the show that the different theories about who killed megan had to be reviewed again and again. and the story was told via the lens of an alcoholic and portrayed the challenges of an alcoholic very well - the memory loss, the frequent flashes of memories, fear, confusion...

great end to my holiday. although i now am starting to feel the blues of having to start work again.

darned! lol!

one down (gladly)

i didn't see this coming nor did i expect it.

the interview felt so perfect and the chemistry was good. but i got an email today from the hr person telling me that despite all the good conversation and exchange of views, they have decided not to pursue this conversation further. but my immediate feeling when i got this email was not one of disappointment. instead, i felt relieved. this was because despite the good chemistry and feel-good factor, i didn't feel i connect well with the job scope. in my mind, i was hoping i will not be made to chose this over the other. 

so, yeah... i didn't see this coming nor did i expect it. but i supposed i had subconsciously hoped for it. as such, i was glad this happened. that's one less dilemma for me.

:-)

the accountant

it's been a long while since i watched ben affleck act so well. the fights were well choreographed although to a small extent, it seemed unreal and almost superhero-like. i enjoyed the story and how it was presented - the way it weaved the personal growing up years of wolff (ben's character) and his adult double life. thought it was rather intriguing. and the show was very well-paced, so much so that i didn't feel the 2-hour plus duration. 

such a nice way to end my saturday.

:-)

a monster calls

i walked in expecting to watch a fantasy show of sorts.

it was not to be. despite having animations and a tree monster (that looked almost exactly like that tree giant from lotr), the show turned out to be rather heavy going show. it's about a boy coming to terms with his mothers' death and the changes going on in his life. it was interesting how the show portrayed death, fear, and all sorts of emotions through the lens of the boy. i must say certain scenes reminded me of the dynamics between my mum and i. very strong performance by the boy.

nice and refreshing, although it was a tat heavy going.

alone in the cinema

i went for a midnight show last night and for the first time in my whole life, i had the whole cinema to myself! i was the only person in the cinema and frankly, i felt a little uneasy, especially when the show i watched was about how a boy came to terms with his fears...

neck issues

it's been 6 days and my neck continues to hurt terribly. a stabbing pain would radiate from the point between the shoulders and the neck (think it's the t3 joint) right up to my head if i move my head wrongly. for that matter, i had to carry my head off my pillow with my two hands just to get out of bed! and for the first time in my life, i can appreciate how heavy the head is and the amount the strength and stress the neck is being subjected to constantly! went to see my chiropractor this morning and he said it was due to carrying my back pack when i climbed the lantau peak. he couldn't adjust any of the joints as the muscles had spasmed and the whole neck and shoulders had clammed up! in the end, he asked me to go for a deep tissue massage to loosen up the muscles before going back to him again. so....

yup, have made an appointment for a deep tissue massage later. let's hope it helps.

potential employers

met up with 2 companies on thursday. for one of them, it's the second time i've spoken to them and for the other, it was the first round. the chemistry with the interviewers for both companies was excellent. the conversations were very good and very two-way. 

for me, how successful i feel about any interview is based on how good i feel after the conversation and i must say that i felt really good for both. let's hope the interviewers felt the same. for now, looks like things are developing ok. fingers crossed. hopefully, things turn out positively this time round.

let's hope things go smooth this time round.

sausage party

forgot to post this last week after watching the show...

this was a no-holds-bar show when it comes to portraying of stereotypes and use of crude words. and that earned it a restricted-21 (r21) rating. 

superficially it might come across as a stupid show about food (or the different types of food) engaging in dirty talk and their respective adventures. but if you looked at it closely and analyse the meanings behind the words and the characters, you will realise there were many many hidden meanings and puns. "kill the juice" was one such example... read it out loud, ignore the depicted image of a box of "juice", but focus on what the word "juice" sounds like and you'll get the meaning of what the show was trying to say. and there were so many stereotypes portrayed in the show such as those along racial lines, glbts, etc and for that matter, even religion was touched upon.

i supposed the word that can be used to describe the show is - subversive. and very cleverly done indeed, i must say.

(as i looked at the facial expressions of the characters above, it also reminded me of the expressions of many people when trump hinted the possibility of not conceding in the coming election...lol)

for wrong reasons

in a very warped way, i find myself looking forward to the third and final debate. and the reasons for this was because i wanted to see how much lower this debate will bring the election to...

:-)

末班車 (the last train)

heard this song 末班車 (the last train) a couple of times over the radio and simply fell in love with it. the flute, the cello, the melody, and the way the singer delivered it, really beautiful, really melancholic. had previously attempted to look for it in the net but failed as i didn't really catch the lyrics. and last night, the radio played it again and i made sure i caught some phrases so that i could google it and walah!

so happy!

作詞：馬嵩惟,
作曲：李偉菘
編曲：terence teo

(in traditional chinese)

空著手 猶如你來的時候
緊皺的額頭 終於再沒有苦痛
走得太累了 眼皮難免會沉重
你沒錯 是應該回家坐坐

*鳴笛聲 悄悄地刺進耳朵
這一次揮手 恐怕再沒機會問候
最後一遍了 換你躲進我雙肘
像靠在 曾搖動我的天空

別說話 淚水你別帶走
鏡子裡的我 已留下你 輪廓上的笑容
別回眸 末 班車要開了
你不過先走 深愛是讓不捨離開的人 好好走

repeat*

別牽掛 約好我們再見
散步的午後 要像從前 再挽著手敘舊
別逗留 末班車要開了
路到了盡頭 回頭是爲永留心口的人 好好走


(in simplified chinese & english translation)

空着手 犹如你来的时候
my arms are empty, like how it was like when you came

紧皱的额头 终于再没有苦痛
with a furrowed brow, there’s finally an end to this suffering

走得太累了 眼皮难免会沉重
this journey had been too tiring, my eyelids are falling

你没错 是应该回家坐坐
you are right, it’s time to return home

*
鸣笛声 悄悄地刺进耳朵
the blare of the horn crept into my ears

这一次挥手 恐怕再没机会问候
with this farewell, we would probably have no other chance to exchange words

最后一遍了 换你躲进我双肘
for the last time, you came into my arms

像靠在 曾摇动我的天空
i’m embracing the very thing that had shaken my world

别说话 泪水你别带走
don’t say a word, leave the tears with me

镜子里的我 已留下你轮廓上的笑容
i recognized your smile when i looked at myself in the mirror

别回眸 末班车要开了
don’t look back, the last train is leaving

你不过先走
you are just going before i do

深爱是让不舍离开的人 好好走
i’m letting you go as a sign of how much i love you

repeat *

别牵挂 约好我们再见
don’t worry about me, we will meet someday

散步的午后 要像从前
the afternoon stroll like how we always do

再挽着手叙旧
arms in arms, reminiscing

别逗留 末班车要开了
don’t linger, the last train is leaving

路到了尽头
the road came to an end

回头是为 永留心口的人 好好走
look back, let go, and keep the person you've loved in your heart forever

"inferno"

watched this midnight show the night before i flew to hong kong. as in previous 2 movies, the pace was fast and there were hardly any pause in the show. it was like you want in, and bam bam bam! the story's intense scenes just went on and on and on and before you know it, the story had ended. having said that, i do admit i was more intrigue by the first two shows, especially the first. i supposed too much of the same has this dampening effect on me. nonetheless, it was entertaining.

hong kong day 3

day 3 was check out day. woke up early and was still reeling pretty badly from my muscle aches. on top of that i suspected i had also twisted my cervical bones for my neck hurt big time. i could hardly get out of bed and only managed to do so by using my hands to carry my head as my body wriggled itself into an upright position. it was actually quite funny when i thought of it. lazed the whole morning in bed as i watched some documentary on the tv. for some reasons, documentaries seemed to be extra nice when i head overseas. heh...

got myself checked out at 12pm and wild away the whole afternoon at the shopping center. was actually half afraid i might not be able to return to singapore considering there was a typhoon level 3 warning (for strong winds) and that it rained cats and dogs the whole day. thankfully, the rain lightened by evening and the flight home was not affected. that was my day 3 and that also capped my short stay in hong kong. on the whole, i thought i was a very short but very nice break. look forward to visiting hong kong again sometime soon. 

:-)

hong kong day 2

slept early last night as my body felt like it was breaking apart!

perhaps it was my body clock for i woke up at 6.30am. decided to sleep again and it wasn't until anout 9am when i decided to head down for my breakfast. i had not planned for the day and simply took things as they came along. went out after breakfast and just let my instinct lead me and found myself heading to stanley village eventually. i had always wanted to visit stanley village since some time back but had not make the efforts to do it as the village could only be accessed by public bus and i was too lazy to do it.

the bus journey to the village was interesting as it brought me to quite a few places that i had read a lot about - ocean park, repulse bay, etc. had gone to ocean park twice before some 20-over years ago and it was nice to see the place again. as for repulse bay, it seemed rather uninteresting from the top of the double deck bus. i reached the stanley village at about 11am and hmmm, it was anything but a village. was frankly quite disappointed by it as i had expected to see a traditional hong kong fishing village. instead, i see shopping centers, street bazaar (no different from mongkok except that it's much much smaller), and a whole lot of restaurants selling steaks, pasta, burgers, etc. it felt surreal to note the westernized feel of the place, except for the occasional small roadside temples that were erected for the different taoist gods.

i didn't stay long and left the place about 1-ish. it had started to drizzle too. went back to the hotel and decided to simply nap and take things easy for the rest of the day. my body simply couldn't keep up with me...

heh...

hong kong day 1

it was a superbly pleasant start to my trip.

i got a most warm welcome by the crew of the flight and they showered me with attention throughout the journey. was touched by their little gestures including signing off their names, complete with a heart, on a styrofoam cup! so sweet of them. also, during both boarding and disembarkation, the crew lead gave me a really huge and tight hug. hahaha... quite shy to hold up the whole lot of people behind me! so... yeah, it certainly was a very good start to the trip!

once i landed, i headed off to climb the mountain. it was too early to check into the hotel. and i thought it would be a better and more productive use of my time to do some hiking and explore the lantau island. kinda spontaneous but it was good. i had initially wanted to hike section 2 of the trail (the last time i did section 3) but ended up doing section 3 again after missing the bus stop. and since i had missed the bus stop, i thought i'd just do section 3 again, but this time round, starting from ngong ping po lin temple instead (i.e., the reverse direction from the last time). 

the climb was much better as i has prior experience and could manage my energies better. the ascend was much steeper but as the distance was shorter, it was more tolerable. and as it was a clear day,  i was able to appreciate the view as i climbed. and the presence of many other climbers made the climb all the more enjoyable. i chatted with a few fellow climbers as i went along. amongst those i chatted were 2 indian nationals who were taking a break from their work in singapore, as well as a filipino family based in hong kong. 

by the time i ended the whole climb, it was about 6pm and since there was a huge crowd at the bus stop, i decided to do a 4-5km walk-a-jog to the mtr station instead. i was totally dead beat by the time i reached the mtr station! my body was falling apart, my neck and shoulders were aching, my knees were giving way, and my back were at the point of breaking! struggled my way to the hotel and once i entered the room, i simply collapsed onto my bed! heh...

will be taking things slow for the rest of the trip!

5th hong kong trip

heading for my 5th hong kong trip tomorrow.

this trip was not supposed to be to hong kong. had planned for a 9-day long holiday this time round, to tasmania, or perhaps to japan. had planned for it 3months ago. and everything was fixed and agreed upon. but time and again, i couldn't get him to commit since the last 3-4 weeks, despite the constant reminders. it was ok, we plan tomorrow, and tomorrow was silent, and then it was ok, we plan next week, and it was delayed again and again... in the end, i decided to just go for my own trip. the 9-day duration didn't materialise too given the last minute need to attend meet ups with potential employers. so...

i am not going to let all these spoil my leave plans. the silver lining of this whole development is that i can have a break and at the same time attend interviews without the knowledge of my office people. will be there for the next 3 days. no specific plans as to what i'll do. perhaps climb the mountain again, or perhaps roam around the city. i just wanna get away. i owe myself this break.

will be back tuesday. and i will go overseas again this coming friday. i'll decide where to go when the time comes.

paid my respects

went to the thai embassy to pay my respects to the late thai king and offer my condolences last evening.

rest in peace king bhumibol adulyadej

king bhumibol adulyadej

(9 Jun 1946 – 13 Oct 2016)

i am at a loss of words now, despite expecting this news for a long time. i am not thai, but my heart broke when i got news of his passing. it's hard not to shed tears when one hears about his passing. 

may his majesty rest in peace.

picture from https://www.megavina.com/

bald eagle problem

i saw this picture of the bald eagle caught in the grille of a car after hurricane matthew passed and my immediate (instinctive) reaction was...

"darned, this is exactly where american politics is now. caught in a difficult no win position. and the country seemed to be on auto-pilot mode - just like the car - and the driver is totally oblivious about it"

thankfully, someone saved the eagle eventually.

politics as i see it from this side of the world...

wtf...

karma

something happened recently that made me believe even more in the notion that in karma, there are small loops and there are huuuuuge loops (damned, i am sounding like donald trump) - some effects are felt immediately whereas some will be felt after a long while... shan't go into further details for now. will write more when things go smooth and turn out well. 

for now, wish me luck.

:-)

drama @ work

woke up very early. had a bad night sleep cos my body was still aching. and it was in this half-dazed state that i headed to work. was totally distracted at work through the day. lots of drama, very stressful... here's a run through of the things that happened (occurrences not in sequence).

• was dragged in to attend a half-day meeting. no head, no tail... no directions too! i had to give my inputs and share things from first principles and from my experience instead.
• a friend based in hong kong texted me to tell me there are 3 positions opened in his company that i can consider. didn't have the time to check them out but it distracted me for a moment.
• a colleague/ friend felt stressed by recent developments at work, wanna talk. yours truly never fail to provide a listening ear. always good to talk to people and to encourage them whenever i can.
• a colleague's wife gave birth. he became a father. it was such a long wait and a few of us felt anxious for him. the arrival was more than a week overdue. really very happy for him. volunteered to co-ordinate the baby gift for some of the closer colleagues. also managed to co-ordinate for the corporate hamper to be delivered to him.
• send a flower box and balloons to cheer up some ex-colleagues yesterday. it got delivered this morning. chose to remain anonymous but somehow, they suspected it was me. and next thing i know, they texted me one by one to thank me!
• rushed through preparation for some training materials. no time to prepare cos i will be away two days for training this week and next week, will be away for some events too. 
• co-ordinated a meeting to discuss though a training that's gonna happen next week, yet people don't seemed to be too stressed by it. argh...
• police came to office to arrest a colleague during lunch. created quite a stir. a few came to talk to me and wanted to hear my views. a few went on the speculate what happened. i didn't want to say anything about it. some things are better left unsaid.
• the colleague who was arrested was led back to the office by some plain clothes policeman. felt totally uncomfortable cos of the sensitivity of the whole incident. people started whispering and giving funny looks. very awkward. 
• top management convened urgent brief-the-staff session after lunch.
• colleagues asked me to connect them to headhunters during lunch. they were desperately trying to find an exit and had broached this topic as early as 3 months back. did the groundwork and finally got it done after dinner.
• a company called late morning and did a lengthy phone interview. made arrangements for a f2f interview with the hiring manager and the incumbent. should be sometime next week. hope things work out.
• and my body and legs itched like crazy today! had to go to the pharmacist to get some cream to relieve the itch. 
• etc etc...

so... yeah... lotsa things happened.

eventful day.

macritchie encounters 2

i helped someone, or perhaps, i saved someone, and it felt really good.

you see, i decided to walk the macritchie trail again today. by the time i got there, it was about 5pm. the trail closes 7pm and judging by the sunset times these few weeks, the forest will get dark about 6.30pm. to come out of the forest before it turned dark, i'd have to cover 12km in an hour and a half and that meant having to do a brisk walk-a-jog. it was rather tiring considering it was cross-country terrain and i could feel the pounding of the feet impacting my back almost immediately after i started. push on, i told myself. as i passed a shed at the 4.6km point, i saw a lady lying down on the bench (let's call her lady a) and another lady (lady b) frantically fanning her with dry leaves as she lifted lady a's legs. sensing something amiss, i walked up to them and asked if things are ok. no, we're not ok, lady b said. i took a look at lady a. she was semi-conscious, her eyes were half-closed and she couldn't talk. her face was pale and her lips white. heat exhaustion, i quickly concluded. 

continue to fan her while i get some water for her, i said. quickly i ran to the ranger station some distance back to look for a container to get chilled water for them. thankfully, i managed to find one, quickly washed it, filled it up and ran back to them. lady b managed to sit lady a up and let her drink the water. slowly, don't rush, i urged when i saw her starting to gulp the water rather quickly. in no time, her lips started to turn pink. can you walk? i asked. it was coming to 5.45pm and the sky will turn dark soon. you cannot stay here for long, i told them. but she was too weak. i decided to run out to the reservoir pump station security post to seek help as there was no mobile reception where we were. the security guards couldn't do anything for me except to tell me that i could hail a cab. useless buggers, i thought, noting they had a van nearby. anyway, i relayed that message to the ladies and after getting lady a's assurance that she's fine, i continued my run after giving them directions out to the security post.

i ran for another km-plus but decided to run back to check on the ladies. from the shed, it would be a 2.6km-walk out and i was not sure if lady a could do it. when i reached the shed, they were not there anymore. they couldn't have gone far, i told myself. lady a was in no state to walk out and the least i could do was to carry the bags for them so that lady b could support her. i finally found them sitting at the security post. lady b was rather helpless as she couldn't get any grab nor taxi. worst of all, she spoke chinese and she's not familiar with the area. even if she could get a grab or taxi, she'd have problems directing them to where they were. poor ladies, i thought as i dialled the cab hotline using my own phone. in no time, i managed to place a booking. there cab would be there 4-6min, said the operator. but that was the start of another issue. 

as we were in the middle of nowhere and the road leading to where we were was an unnamed road, it was impossible for any cab to find us. i told the ladies to wait there while i ran out to the nearest named road (about 1 km away) to direct the cab driver. when i reach there, there was not a cab in sight. i waited. about 15 min later, i got a call from the cab driver... where are you mr jeffrey? sighs.... just as i had expected. i had to spend the next 10 minutes or so giving directions to the cab driver. and as i guided, i could sensed his impatience growing. things got interesting cos he was talking to me like as though i knew the place and started rattling things like - this sign post, that sign post, etc! hahaha... anyway, to cut the long story short, he finally found me after a few trial and errors and we managed to get the ladies out safely.

it was a huge sigh of relief for me. after they left, i noted it was 6.30pm and i couldn't proceed further with my run. it would be too dark in the forest. i had to quickly get out of the place. thing was, i was almost 5km away from my car and i couldn't use that route. i decided to take another shorter route by the forest fringe although this route meant a longer walk along the main road. well, i had no choice. anyway, i got home safely around 8pm. and as i entered my house, i received a message. "hi jeffrey, this is xxxx. you helped us earlier at macritchie. i managed to get your number and name from the cab driver and would like to thank you for helping us. my mom is much better now and she's resting. thank you once again."

didn't expect this, but yeah, it felt good to be able to help someone in need. this capped my eventful weekend. couldn't be happier to be able to end the weekend on a positive note.

:-)

macritchie encounters 1

i have been walking the macritchie trail rather often these days but the encounters i had these two days were rather interesting. here's what happened yesterday.

it was about 2/3 of the total distance when i met three guys. they were in their mid-20s and one of them seemed gay. and i say so due to his mannerism and the things he said. anyway, they were playing the fool and teasing each other as they walked. these guys came across as good school friends or army-mates. anyway, when i first saw them, they were making their way down the macritchie observation tower and they were chatting and laughing rather loudly. well i suspect one of the guy was gay cos (1) he made eye contact with me a couple of times. and through the distance that we walked, we overtook each other a couple of times and i did notice he glanced at me at times, (2) amongst the three, he was the best groomed - the gay-feel, as detected by my gaydar (lousy as it might be), (3) the things he said. for example, we saw a huge monitor lizard swimming as we walked along the boardwalk fringing the reservoir. while his friends commented on the size and some other mundane details, he said, wah, look at the skin, the colour so nice. make into wallet will be very nice... this one tickled me. i almost rolled my eyes on the spot. straight men would seldom think about such things. heh heh...

there were two rather interesting ladies too. they were also walking about the same speed as us. and they came across as rather easily excitable, spontaneous and fun-loving. as they walked, they commented on things like - lady a (at the fringe of the golf-course): wah, look at the buggy. we go take one and drive out ok? no need to walk so far... lady b: but we cannot drive. or even if we can, very difficult to drive one. then they laughed out loud and continued walking as they chatted and giggled at every little things they saw. and as we were on the boardwalk fringing the reservoir, i saw a wild arowana swimming and i stopped and looked. they walked towards me and stopped and looked too. sensing their curiosity, i pointed out the arowana to them. baby arowana, 金龙鱼. i said. and lady a: oooh, i see it, it see it! lady b: where? where? arowana! the one with the big knob on the head! where? where? lady a: errrr... that one is not arowana la! that one is luohan fish! and they burst into laughters. and we walk a bit more and i stopped. there was a huge monitor lizard swimming. i didn't want to frighten it. the ladies soon caught up and stopped too. both squealed: ooh.... look look! lady a (half screaming): ahhhh! komodo dragon! i turned and looked at her. erm, its a monitor lizard. and both let out a hearty laugh.

well, it was interesting to have such people. i might be walking alone. but the three guys and two ladies, to a large extend, became my walking buddies. our speed varied such that at times, the guys were in front, at times, i was in front, but on the whole, we were going about the same speed. and although i wasn't part of their conversation, watching their antics and listening to their jokes and laughters made me smile. nice right?

half-yearly check-up

visited the polyclinic for my half-yearly check last friday.

any asthma attack? no. any need to use your ventolin? no. do you still have your stand-by prednisolone? yes. have you lost weight lately? no. any issue you want to highlight? no. how often do you exercise? everyday. how long was your exercise? anything from half hour to four hours... well, that was roughly how the whole consultation went. erm, looks like there's nothing much i can say. oh, perhaps, eat more vegetables, and less prawns, sotong, you know... those are high in cholesterol...

kinda straight forward right? heh... and just when the doctor thought she could send me away, i asked - how does a person know he/ she is depressed? (and she explained, nothing new to me). why did you ask that? she queried. erm, well, i have been going through rather tough times and i just want to make sure i am ok. she didn't probe further. i didn't volunteer further info too. and before she closed my consultation. i told her about how i went for my kidney stone removal x-ray and noted 2 of my lumbar vertebrae were sitting too close to one another, so much so that that urologist suggested i should see a spine specialist. 

that remark caught her attention right away. she immediately made me lie down and checked my back. did some leg raise to check if there were any pains. nope, i said, just a little tight currently (that was in the afternoon). the pains come every mornings and i could not stand to wear my pants. i had to sit on my bed to do it. i added. what about any pain that goes down to your legs? she asked. well, not often now but when i twisted my back, i felt it. how about passing urine and motion? any difficulties? she probed further. erm, no. but the urine flow is very weak. she seemed a little concerned and immediately drafted a referral letter for me to see the spine specialist.

so... spine specialist appointment made - jan 2017. next general health review, mar 2017. and to do another round of routine yearly blood test a week before that.

miss peregrine's home for peculiar children

peculiar children. special. the title itself reminded me of the book "peculiar chris", a locally-written storybook about a gay teen who struggled with his sexuality since young. but that aside, i enjoyed the show, as i had enjoyed all other tim burton's show. would have been nice if judi dench has a larger role in the show. 

very nice, very interesting, and very entertaining.

:-)

100.3

today, i achieved something that i have never thought was possible. the radio dj read out my whatsapp message!

you see, i have been listening to this particular station "ufm100.3" for a while now. and each evening, there's a program where the dj would throw a topic to discuss and invite listeners to call in or whatsapp in with their thoughts. and the topic for this evening was - "what were some of your resolutions for this year and with the remaining quarter, what would you do to fulfil those that you have not achieved." and it was such a coincidence that i had just made a blog post on this earlier...

heh... and so i decided to simply cut my blog entry and whatsapp it in. i bore no hope of it being singled out by the dj cos (1) i have never had such luck, (2) the entry was too wordy, and (3) it was a chinese station and i send in an english entry. but i was caught by surprise when the dj read it out a couple of minutes later! i supposed the triple whammy that was in the message came across as a little dramatic. dog died, broke relationship with family... yeah, and now to top it off, cannot find job. maybe the dj thought by reading it, it would brighten me up and decided to read it. and well, he actually did!

heh...

failure to meet my 2016 targets

i started this year wanting to change my job. and i have failed. so, this is the third target that i cannot meet due to factors beyond my control, the first two related to (1) sapphie and (2) my family. for sapphie, i wanted to continue to take good care of her. the want to take care of her couldn't materialise with her passing in mar 2016. as for my family, i wanted to nurture my niece and nephew. this, too, couldn't be fulfilled following the break of relationship with my brother. that occurred in march too.  the third resolution relates to changing my job. i had set off the year wanted to change my job. and given my 3-month notice, i will need to submit my resignation by 30 sep latest. today is 1 oct...

looked like this year's gonna be a year of failures...

end of reserve liability

as reservist (operationally-ready) officers in singapore, we are all liable for reservist call-up for until 50 years of age. that is the same regardless of whether one was previously a regular (contract serviceman) or a conscripted person. and mindef would be required to give a 6-month advance notice before a person can be called up. i turn 50 in december. and based on this 6-month requirement, i should get a letter by jun 2016 if they needed me to serve my reservist term before i hit 50. they didn't. this means i will no longer need to go back. ever. heh.

then again, it didn't matter. i retired from service in 2009 (at age 43) and had been placed under a so-called "classified appointment" in the headquarters. this, of cos, was a convenient excuse given the need to keep me away from all the classified materials. and this was clear to me cos despite being given a "classified appointment", i have never been told what this appointment was, and for that matter, i've never been cleared by the security department to hold any appointment in the reserve, much less a "classified appointment" at the headquarters. so, such a convenient arrangement meant i will never been recalled for reservist. and that was exactly the case. 

anyway, i am not complaining. i must be mad to do so. nonetheless, i am glad that this chapter is finally coming to a formal close (when i turn 50 in december).

moving crown

i had a lower left molar implant done 10 years ago. i did not face any issues with it until 2 months back when the crown started to move. and at about the same time, my upper right molar also started to ache. it ached bad whenever i take anything cold. i am not sure why it happened but it was weird how both issues started together. since then, i have had lots of difficulty biting properly on both sides of my mouth.

went to the dentist and he didn't want to treat me. floss your upper right molar more, and see the senior consultant for the crown issue, he said. the senior consultant i visited subsequently (who was my friend) also didn't want to do anything about it. he couldn't. apparently, different dentists use different implant types and given the specific techniques (and tools) needed for each different implant type, one has to go back to that specific dentist who did the implant if any issues developed.

nonetheless, my friend spend a whole lot of time explaining to me all the possible reasons why the crown of an implant could move. best case, it's just a case of screw loose. just need to tighten it and wallah, all will be fine; and worst case, the dentist will have to take out the implant and redo the whole procedure all over again. and this would mean an operation to extract the implant, saw off part the jaw bone if infection had set in, do a filling, allow it to fuse with the bone, drill another hole before putting in a new implant. well, it sounded like a huge messy and bloody procedure and reminded me of the procedure i did for this implant 10 years back. the thought of having to go through it again freaked me out. haha...

anyway, my apprehension about the possibility of going through the whole procedure again made me think very hard about visiting the (original) dentist. until yesterday. when i arrived, the original dentist that did the implant was sick and his son attended to me. i was put through an x-ray and the dentist concluded that the implant was a-ok. there was no need for any op. for that matter, he just needed to remove the crown without any injection too! it was a huuuuugggeee sigh of relief when the dentist told me that. he explained that what had happened was this thing called "decementation" and that he could simply get it fix in the lab. but it would take time. one month. and in the meantime, he would clean the screw hole to rid it of all the bacteria before plugging it with a temporary plug. 

will need to return in a months' time to get the crown fixed back. so glad it was not as nasty as what i had expected. and yes, there were no injections, incisions, etc yesterday. such a huge sigh of relief.

:-) 

florence foster jenkins

it was hilarious, and sad at the same time. couldn't help but checked wikipedia for a background of mrs. florence foster jenkins halfway through the movie. there was just too many questions in my head that needed answers as the show unfolded. who's this lady? how did she die? what's her background? whats the relationship between her and st clair? etc etc etc.

the affinity to her grew with each passing minute. and it was really heartwarming how st clair doted and protected her, yet it was heartbreaking how he cheated on her after she fell asleep. and after all the well-intended gestures and efforts, she had to face the brunt of the jokes... really sad. "they can say i couldn't sing, but they can't say i didn't sing". this line hit me at the end of the show before she died. and in a way, it was hugely inspirational, whichever way you frame it.

thoroughly enjoyed this show. and kudos to the very strong acting by all 3 actors - meryl streep (who played mrs florence), hugh grant (st clair bayfield the husband) and simon helberg (cosmé mcmoon the pianist).

bravo!

dreams

have had quite a few weird dreams lately. here're two of the more vivid ones.

two nights ago, i drank some water before i went to bed. and halfway through the night i felt the need to pee. but for some reasons, i remembered my conscious mind telling myself that i could hold on to it and coaxed myself to continue sleeping. but once i did so, in my half-asleep state of mind, i dreamt that someone came towards me and gave me a blowjob. and in that state of neither sleeping nor awake, i remembered struggling very hard not to wake up in order to continue the great sensation of being blown. but it was a losing battle for me cos the "calm" of sleep and the "high" of the blowjob (or the feeling of a full bladder) worked in opposite directions. i was eventually forced me to wake up - to pee.

and i think it was the same morning that i dreamt of my mum. i had brought her out. to do some shopping i believed. and i couldn't find a car park lot. and so i dropped her off somewhere near the shopping center entrance. i vaguely recall it was my maid who pushed her wheelchair into the shopping center. next thing i knew, the shopping had ended and i was back at the car park looking for my car. i couldn't find it and wondered round the car park several times. i ended up at the entrance where i dropped my mum and the automatic door opened. and there was my mum in her wheelchair, my brother by her side with my sis-in-law and my nephew (i didn't recall seeing my niece). my brother looked much younger and had really glowing complexion (which was so unreal and unlike his real self). and my nephew (who should be 4 end this year) had grown so tall he towered more than a head above me. i was so shocked to see them, and my brother uttered something (i forgot what he said, but it was something conciliatory). i exclaimed out loud how tall my nephew had grown and asked how old was he. and he replied he was 3 years old. he didn't look anything like the nephew i knew. like my brother, my nephew was superbly fair. and then i noticed - he had patches of red bloodshot marks all over his left legs. it was horrible. i looked like he had been attacked by hundred of leeches. and on his right leg just below the back of his knee, there was a bloodied wound. much as my mind was racing and wondering what happened, i was at the same time dumbfounded. no words could come out of my mouth.... and then i woke up.

weird right?

"can you jerk me off? please, please..."

saw this recording just now... its about how a taxi driver begged this person to jerk him off one night. lots of thoughts went through my head when she described the whole experience. frankly, i felt a whole range of conflicting emotions as i watched it - sad, happy, surprised, grateful, funny, grotesque, erotic, etc. i supposed such mixed emotions are not unexpected especially during charity jerk offs/ sex. right?

watch it if you understand chinese. will do a translation sometime for those who cannot understand chinese.

==========
as promised, this is the translation to my best abilities:

"one weekend, after i had some drinks with friends, i took a cab home. the time was at about 1-2am. there were not many people on the road. the taxi driver was a very fat person. and just when we were about to reach my place, he stopped by the side of the road. i asked him why he stopped, to which he replied "can i ask you for a favor?"

i was taken aback. i hailed your cab, you send me home and i'll pay you. simple as that. what additional favour could there be in this transaction? i thought. so i asked him what he wanted. he said "i felt you are a nice person... (silence)... can you do me a favour?" "what do you want" i asked. "can you jerk me off" he asked.

his question shocked me. i could only uttered "what?..." (silence) and he quickly pleaded "please, please, i beg of you". i took another look at him... and i thought, "how could i ever do this for him?" and i winced. he continued begging me, "please, i beg of you... i have not had any sex for a very very very long time". 

at that point in time, there were so much i wanted to say but didn't know how to say. all my words were stuck in my mouth (silence)... i agreed and said ok. once i said that, i could see his happiness. he was so very happy. he hurriedly parked his car properly. once done, he quickly he took out his inhaler and took a few deep breath. following that, he started to hurriedly pull up his shirt and undo his pants.

he had to take a few moments to catch his breath in the process of undressing. it was then that i was able to observe the most basic animalistic instinct and desire. to me, and up till that point, there was nothing sexual about this whole episode. in fact, it felt so clinical. it almost felt like a show or a performance. when he eventually got undressed, i could see layers of fats, so thick and layered that i could not see his penis. it was all hidden and lost amidst the folds of his fats.

we had to lift up the layers of fats in order to find the penis. when i eventually found and slowly touched his penis, his reactions... (silence) that very moment, the strong reactions... it reminded me the kind of reactions you see between 2 persons who had not had sex for a long time. it surprised me, yet it did not shock me. for i also realised that it was just very human.

in fact, his very heavy build affected his breathing and his health and he had to take the inhalant several times during the process (of my masturbating him). once he came, he wanted to hurriedly stand up but he couldn't. his body didn't allow him to do so that easily. i had to open the car door and went to the boot to get a t-shirt for him. he thanked me profusely for that.

after he dressed up, he send me to my place and refused to accept the cab fare. but i insisted on paying. these were 2 different things (jerking off and sending home), i iterated. when i finally reached my place, i really wanted to cry. i really really wanted to cry. i felt that regardless of what society humans live in, social status, sexuality, etc... 

the human is lonely by nature."

well, you may call this a whole load of bullshit that came out of jerking off a fat taxi-driver... but you cannot deny the fact that this woman walked out of the experience feeling all so emo about it.

right?

freeballing

freeballing. that means going without underwear. another commonly used phrase for this is "going commando". and i wanted to write this entry after seeing someone freeball last evening. but before that, let me reflect a bit about "going commando".

don't ask me why "going commando" is used to refer to not wearing underwear. i suspect it was becos many military man choose to go without underwear when they head out to the fields for a prolonged period of time. wearing underwear under such conditions would simply mean having an additional piece of belonging that needs to be to washed and resources such as water are scarce and thus having a soiled underwear is not desirable in field conditions. and mud hardened soiled underwear are highly uncomfortable. trust me... haha... anyway, if this was the reason, there is nothing about "commando" right? heh... well, i think there are possible answers in the internet. go google it and tell me. heh...

but yeah, freeballing is something many do, either permanently, during specific activities (eg when they exercise), or day/s of the week (eg dress down fridays). some do it at home, whereas some prefer to do it at specific places such as the swimming pool, gym, etc. it really depends on each individual but what's common amongst freeballers is the feel of freedom that one gets when there isn't any underwear to hold the balls and of cos the family jewel. and on the same token, the need to feel secure kinda also explain why freeballers choose to wear underwear at times. you never know how much more secured one feels when there is that additional piece of material to grab/ cup one's balls, and certainly this would be most appreciated when one needs that extra sense of security (eg when one go for interviews). heh...

for me, freeballing as a norm is something i started only a couple of years back. and speaking from experience, freeballing is a practice that "grow" with you over time. for me, i started experimenting with it when i was in my 20s (?). at that time, it was only done only times when i was horny and wanted to feel "sexy" (heh...). such occasions were restricted to within the confines of my room. thoughts about how i would feel if i wear this or that (eg tights or running shorts that had its inner lining removed) led me to experiment with freeballing. such times usually end up with me releasing myself... heh heh. and then when i got desensitized to such momentary pleasures, i started to freeball more, and i began going out of the house without any underwear. and over time, the frequency increased and now i've gotten so used to it that freeballing is more of a norm than an exception.

the interesting thing is - when i first started, it felt so erotic i'd end up walking around with an erection most of the time. but now, it'll take a whole lot of additional mental, visual and maybe even physical stimulation before i get aroused! hahha... so, after all these reflections, let me go back to the reason why i started this post. i wanted to talk about how to freeball properly. yup, i actually feel one need to know some basic decency when it comes to freeballing.

you see, i've seen some people looking rather indecent when they freeball. just last evening, i saw this guy who wore his bermudas so high up i see camel toes, and his cock size and shape was also so obvious i was able to know he's cut and estimate quite accurately the length of his endowment. omg. and the best part of it was that he seemed rather oblivious about it. i have similarly seen very (superbly) well-endowed people who freeball in their tight business pants/ jeans so much so that the outline was so obvious. and the size of the cock would make even the longest zucchini look short. serious! it was such a visual treat to me! of cos, for some, they'd consider it distracting, or for that matter, embarrassing to others.

so... yeah, freeball all you want, but do it "decently" and don't make people embarrass about it. that is how i would do it. then again, you may not agree (especially if you are well-endowed and freeballing is to allow you to "show off").

and as commandos would shout out, hoo-ahhh!

heh heh...

picture from https://pbs.twimg.com

bridget jones baby

watched this show on friday night after dinner with bee. he felt tired and i ended up watching the show alone. i was a little tipsy from all the soju when i walked into the cinema. heh... bridget jones' shows has always been funny and this one did not disappoint. there were lotsa funny moments. 

and while i enjoyed the show lots, one small part of me thought about how asians would respond if someone got into similar situation in asia - getting pregnant, not knowing who the father was, having both men interacting throughout the pregnancy period, getting married after the birth of the child, etc. such incidents would be considered taboo and not something that asian societies would talk about. well, i mean there are cases like this, but it would be far few and in between and certainly, if it ever happens, the girl would have been forced to get an abortion.

then again, that's just me. i think too much. 

it was an enjoyable show.

ho chi minh trip - hcmc

we arrived at the city itself late afternoon. 

it was raining when we arrived and by the time we checked in and got about exploring the city, it was already evening. it was good that the hotel we stayed were located in district 1 and near the touristy areas such as the central market, the night market and the backpackers street. luckily a couple of colleagues had been there before and were familiar with the place. and so, they became the tour guides while those of us who were not familiar with hcmc just tagged along. and as to be expected, there were a lot of touts and cheats. 

we had a couple of negative experiences in the short span of the evening. firstly, we were made to pay some 200,000 vietnamese dong for 10 rolls of candy roll (which i believe cost no more than 5000 dong each). we had no choice but to pay cos my colleague was so excited by it, she ordered it without asking for the price and started eating it even before the store owner finished rolling all the 10 rolls that she ordered. it was a good lesson learned. we were a little more street smart after that and got about eating lotsa street food without much issues.

the second negative experience happened before we ended the night. we had just completed walking the night market and decided to head off for foot massage before returning to the hotel. the foot massage cost some 360,000 dong per person. it was not too bad. and at the end of it all, the masseurs asked for tips. we gave them 20,000 dong each (equivalent to about one us dollar, which in our opinion was very decent considering the low cost of living) but the masseur protested and asked for more. they refused to let us leave. admittedly, we were ready to increase it to 40,000 to 50,000 dong  but when the masseur saw us taking out another 20,000 dong, they protested again and took out a 100,000 dong note and insisted that we tip them 100,000 dong each. wtf. the massage was 360,000 dong each and they had the audacity to demand 100,000 dong. their insistence got one of my colleague angry and she stood up and simply told them off. we stuck to the 20,000 dong per masseur and simply walked out. wtf. 

the last day was spend simply shopping and eating. and wow, my female colleagues could really shop! we only had 2-3 hours after checking out of the hotel and they managed to purchase shoes, fresh fruits, dried fruits, nuts, clothes, etc... lol. that was how we ended our last day in vietnam. on the whole, i thought the visit to hcmc was interesting. there was a lot of energy and life in the city. everything there reminded me of patpong bangkok, or for that matter, singapore in the 70s. judging from what i saw, we should be seeing hcmc developing into one very happening, modern and lively city in the near future.

:-)

ho chi minh trip - seaside villa

it was a short 4-day trip with colleagues to vietnam. and it was an very interesting one.

we had planned to spend 2 days at a seaside villa and another 2 at ho chi minh city. and the plan was to head to the seaside villa once we arrive, and to sleep early. for day 2, we intended to wake up early, hire motorbikes and hit the market early in the morning. we were told the market was 100m from the villa. and after all the shopping, we would marinate the meats and head off to the hot springs for the afternoon on our motorbikes. and we would return to the villa for the barbecue... we would then check out the next day and make our way to ho chi minh city and spend the evening there before checking out the next day. that was the plan. but what unfolded was rather different.

we arrived as planned and were faced with the first challenge. the driver couldn't speak english, and we couldn't speak vietnamese. haha... thankfully, he knew where to bring us to. and by the time we reached the villa, it was close to midnight. we were presented with the next shock. we had expected 4 rooms but it had only 3. so in the end, all the girls had to sleep in the master bedroom while the guys shared 2 rooms. it was almost 3am when we slept. the next day, all the girls woke up late and the guys took the opportunity to walk around the estate. i took a look at google map and concluded that there was no real civilisation anywhere near where we were, much less motorbike rentals and markets... and this was subsequently confirmed by the villa cleaner. the nearest market was over 10km away. and after lots of discussions (yes, when traveling in a group, you can expect lots of discussions before decisions are made), we decided to just hire a cab and make our way to the market. by the time we finished our marketing, it was already late afternoon. so it was lots of preparations for some of us while the others went swimming and kayaking at and around the villa.

the marketing was one helluva experience. it reminded me of singapore in the 70s. stores were organised according to their produce type and packed close to one another. at the meat section, pork and different parts of the pig (intestines, stomach, etc) were arranged on wooden tables and there were many flies buzzing around the pieces of meat. it looked very distasteful considering many of the meat pieces looked dry and stale. and i do also note that they were selling cooked meat next to the uncooked meat. ewe... anyway, we couldn't find any stores that sell cut chicken parts. instead, chickens were sold live and slaughtered in front of you when you buy them. but what made all of us sick was that apart from the live chickens, there were also live goose, and puppies. yes, puppies. we decided not to purchase the chickens in the end and just focused on seafood.

anyway, the barbecue went well and by the time we ended, it was close to midnight. there were lotsa merrymaking and alcohol during the evening and many got drunk. and for the few of us who remained sober, we had to look after those who were drunk and clear up the mess that was created. it wasn't until about 3-4am before we retired. the next day was quite a blur as we cleared up and finished up eating the left over from the night before. we finally checked out of the villa after lunch before making our way to ho chi minh city itself.

zika & zikee

my colleagues and i had been sharing a lot of crazy nothings these days. and it was a really good way to release all the tensions that we face at work. and today, as we were having lunch, the topic drifted to the zika virus... and for some reasons, we started joking about it. here're some of the nonsense that came out of the conversation:

• imagine having a pet mosquito. the male would be called zika and the female, zikee
• next imagine, bringing zika and zikee to work. you have no choice but to do so cos at home, the government are conducting all sorts of mozzie wipe-out drills... you certainly cannot risk keeping your pets at home and risking them getting killed right? pets are family also, right?
• and at work, imagine you having to "walk" zika and zikee... and to do so, you have to put a thread-like leash on them before "walking" them (try visualising the walk...)
• and as you work, you would have to regularly go "bzzzz, bzzzz, sit! don't be naughty, down girl, down girl! sit!" mozzie-talk, disciplining the hyperactive mozzies...
• and oh, we also came to a realisation that we cannot bring zikee to our terminal 3 office. we've a pregnant staff there, and the sight of this pregnant staff would turn zikee on so much she'd go crazy...
• etc etc etc...

yup, that was the crazy conversation we had, and the story continued to evolve as we built on it. and we laughed so much we attracted quite a bit of attention at the staff canteen...

haha...

resemblance to mum

was surprised to get this message from my sis earlier on. had bought some durian mooncakes for her family and after dropping it off her place, she texted me to ask me not to buy such expensive things for her in future. and after a while, i got this message. well, i know i resemble my mum but never in my life had i expected my family member to make this comment... heh...

granddad's 47th death anniversary

i went to the columbarium to pay my respects to my granddad and commemorated his 47th death anniversary over the weekend. this coming thursday is the actual day and as i would be working, i decided to do it in advance. i also wanted to make sure i do it because of mum.

you see, mum had deep respects for granddad. when she was alive, she would make it a must to make offerings to him (and for that matter grandma) on major festivals and commemorate their death anniversaries. this, to her, was her duty as a daughter-in-law and as a way to show gratitude to my granddad. he had taken care of her and protected her from my abusive grandma and dad during the early years of her marriage before he passed away in 1969. she also made sure she install their tablet in our old house. that was the right thing to do as a dutiful daughter-in-law, she said. the tablet had since been decommissioned following her move out of our old house but we continued to perform these rites at the columbarium following the exhumation of his (and grandma's) graves a few years ago.

so... yeah, i think it is time i take over the responsibilities of this practise of paying respects to my grandparents. after all, amongst my parents' generation, there is but only one aunt left who's still fit enough to perform such rites. she had also recently expressed her wish to hand this responsibility to my generation.

gay porn, happy endings

i watched this short story last night before i slept. it was such a depressing show. my immediate reflection was that for some reasons, all gay shows tend to be depressing. there has not been, or at least i have not come across, stories about gay men that has a good ending. i supposed such stories and the depressing nature of the show is a reflection of the way things are for many gay men around the world, and sadly, the state of acceptance of gay men, particularly in asian countries. and in the case of this story (which serve to educate about hiv), i thought it was also depressing as it suggested how one could get infected from just one encounter. possible although the probability is relatively low, in my opinion. but yeah, i guess to educate, one must have the shock factor. sighs...

anyway, on a more funny note, i texted this link to a friend and he shared similar sentiments. and quickly the conversation ended with "i prefer gay porn, it always has a happy ending"... pun fully intended.

lol!

impending visit to ho chi minh

this coming friday, i will be visiting ho chi minh with my colleagues - 8 of us altogether. 

it would be an interesting experience for me for several reasons. firstly, this would be the first time i'd be heading overseas with a group of young people - almost all of them are below 30, other than one or two who are in their early-30s. these colleagues got along very well with me and i suspect it was because most of them were recruited by me and i had continually reach out and check on them. so, they have happily embraced me as part of their group and they have shared their highs and lows with me as they grow with the company. and in many ways, they see me as their mentor, and a friend. secondly, the logistics and program that they have planned is something i have not done for a long while. for example, we will be staying in a villa and we'll be sharing rooms, and doing activities as a group, and on motorbikes too! 

well, i'll just go with an open mind and simply enjoy the experience.

conservative voter

early today, i read in the papers that hk-ers would be heading to the polls to vote for the legco. it reminded me of a tv political debate i watched when i was in hk last month. there were no lesser than 12 independent candidate/ political parties in the debate. it was rather entertaining to watch the debate as the format included one segment where they interject each other as one party spoke. it was rather confrontational and each political party went out of their way to put down each other. personally, i felt the quality of the debate was rather bad and my thoughts at that time was - thank goodness the political debates in singapore was not conducted in such manner. anyway, as a non-hk person, i could only marvel at how they got their politics done.

so, after being reminded of the voting, i decided to text my friend joe from hk. happy voting, i texted. he replied that he had not voted and was undecided about who to vote. his reply surprised me. it was not something i'm used to. for me, i would head to the polling station early, and i would be very clear about who i would vote for. my friend added, rather quickly, that singaporeans are lucky to have the lees and that they were often jealous about singaporeans. i was somewhat taken aback by his response as i had never expected people to know about singapore's politics, much less be jealous about it. nonetheless i replied, half correcting him, that singaporeans are blessed to have political leaders (not just the lees) that have people in their hearts, are responsive and listens.

i shared further that when it comes to voting, i am a conservative, and a realist. i tend to focus on what i have instead of what i don't. and in doing so, helped me be happy. and being a realist, i chose to influence political change by evolving it through constructive feedback. change will take time, but it needs to evolve, i strongly believe. i personally do not think singapore is so bad to the point where we need a revolutionary change to things. revolutionary changes are what idealist often look for, and they are always unhappy with things and want to see things change immediately, and in a big way. to me, while i respect idealists for their energies and their passion, i also think such changes are very stressful and full of negative energies, and often a times, many people would end up suffering.

i supposed my sharing resonated with joe as he agreed with my thoughts and shared that he simply wanted to lead a simple and happy life in a quiet and safe environment. he lamented that this was often interrupted by protesters. i sensed his frustrations as he shared but i didn't probe further. i did not want to come across as trying to influence his voting. we quickly change our topic after that...

zika virus

singapore reported almost 200 cases of locally transmitted zika virus over the course of last week. it started off with a sudden announcement of some 31 cases in one of the local housing estate. the announcement took many by surprise and were were quick to make online allegations that the government had withheld information... thankfully, this was quickly put to rest as the government ramped up efforts to wipe out mosquitos, educate people and iterate to everyone on the need to clear stagnant water, etc...

it is fortunate that the quick actions prevented this medical epidemic from deteriorating into that of a crisis of fear. while it is unfortunate that the outbreak has finally reach singapore, it is also perhaps a long forgone conclusion that singapore will get hit sooner or later, considering the facts that singapore is a very small country, singaporeans travel frequently, and hundreds of thousands of tourists pass through our borders daily. for me personally, considering the mildness of the effects of the virus, i had half the thought to deliberately get myself infected (if i had already not been infected, as i had a bout of flu two weeks back) so that i can get lifelong immunity. 

heh heh...

"forgive"

i have decided to change my whatsapp status to "forgive".

i realised i had been harbouring a lot of hatred and angst towards some people at work, particularly my new hod. it was because of this hod that many people in my previous company, and myself, had suffered this demotion. and for me personally, to get a few emails trashing me unfairly and being used as an excuse to get to my previous boss. i need to move beyond taking things personal, much as it was personal from the way my current hod had told me - i have decided to demote you simply because this other person was my ex-colleague and our friendship went back a long way, and if you cannot accept it, i can understand if you choose to leave...  will just do my work quietly as i look around for a new job.

and by forgiving, i will be giving myself the chance to be happy again.