lung ok ent

well, the check up was over within several minutes... apparently the consultant said there was really nothing to worry about but upon checking my throat, he said it would be a wise thing to get the throat and nose specialist to check further as one of my tonsil is a bit enlarged and that it may suggest something more serious in either my throat or my nose...

so, out of one appointment and into another... next date for the e.n.t. specialist - 08 may 08!

never ending wor!

lung check

later today, i will be going for my medical check up... follow-up from my last visit to my mo about my coughing problem.

male-bonding

just had a most interesting evening with 2 of my nie coursemates at mount faber. pure male-bonding. well, they did not know i am gay. you see, i had helped these two coursemates during the recent semester and they decided to buy me dinner and drinks. and interestingly enough, i could not put a face to the name that i had been helping and corresponding via sms over the past couple of weeks. it was by pure accident that he got my number from another one of his classmate and that was how we started our sms correspondence.

and today, i found out that i had taken a module together with him last year.

the evening got on rather interestingly for our conversation centered on getting to know each, gossips and chit chats... and of course lots of bitchings... about people in the course, about lecturers, etc... nothing of the super macho shit `i man come here to see cheo bu' kinda thing at all.

been a long while since i experience such male-bonding

:-)

tsunami

made a comment in stan's blog when he wrote abt remembering someone he had lost and my comment went something like that 3 days back:

stan, took me 3 years before finally deleting everything - email, msn, blog, etc. but i eventually did. out of sight helps to make it out of mind. altho i must say that's not the real solution. the real solution is to move on totally and break the few heart-strings that still refuses to break. but deleting helps. a lot.

for me, impossible to erase things after 7 yrs. and all the things still in my hse. well... still, deleting them off makes me less irrational (like loggin in and off msn like u... :), like cyber stalking, like...).

move on. and the clearest sign that you've move on will be when u can think back, smile and/or laugh about it, and imagine how you could possibly be so (pse fill in yourself) to behave like what you did :)

j

today, while driving to work, the radio dj was cajoling listeners to sms in titles of songs that made them cry... and naturally as per all faithful listeners, the text messages came in... soon enough someone text in pearl jam's `last kiss'... and when the song played, tears started to swell in my eyes. memories came back. for that moment, in my car, i was transported back in time. despite the busy morning traffic, it felt like i was in the early 2000s again. and james was beside me. and familiar clips started ringing in my head... i started to hear songs by tlc (scrub), macy gray (i try), whitney houston (my love is your love), and so on...

stan had described his experience as that of being hit by a tsunami... i think it is perhaps easier to call it an incurable addiction. it never leaves your body. it stays and remain dormant and once a while, it creates internal chaos within you... anyway, soon enough, i snapped myself out of it and got myself composed. re-focused back onto the road, wiped off my tears and continued my journey. i am still wondering if i could ever be normal friends with james again.

...

car shopping 2

it's actually quite fun looking around for a car. went to take a look at suzuki swift (both the classic and the sports version). and then to the nissan showroom to take a look at the latio. very nice! but well, after the calculation and the estimation of the monies i have to move about, i have decided that i should kiv this until i have settled my house and other bigger finances in my life. cars - luxury not necessity. lower priority, for now.

:-)

car shopping

think i'll look for a new car :-)

housing loans

now that i have finished my masters, i told myself i will devote my time in the next couple of days/ weeks to focus back to getting my life in order.

so yesterday, i decided to start by taking a re-look at my housing loans. accordingly, i have taken up a package 2-3 years back with this particular bank. and as per stated in the package, the rate will vary year to year and that i will be kept posted on the changes by the end of each loan year or as and when the market interest rate fluctuates. and over the last year or so, i have, on almost a bi-monthly or quarterly basis, been receiving letters telling me the rate will go up by xxx%. given no choice but to acknowledge it as part of life, i went along... two weeks back, i received another mail from the bank telling me that by next month, the rate will again go up from my current 4.85%. that got me a bit curious... why did the rate go up despite the recent loom in the market? also, this latest upward revision also mean that i will have to fork out close to 3k per month for housing loan! short of selling my house when i change job, i decide to do a check on the current market rates and to see what will my loan look like if i do a refinancing.

visited one of the branch to inquire and perhaps sensing that they could possibility loose a customer very soon, the bank officer suggested that i should reprice (ie, stay with the bank and they'll re-offer a new package). i was immediately given a number to call which i did and left my contact details. before long, a lady called me and told me that she could easily give me a revised package pegged at 2.7% (fixed for 2 years) or 2.95% variable. this easily translates to a reduction of close to $800 per month for me!

of cos i was happy, but on the other hand, i thought - if i had not called and ask, the bank would just gone ahead and increase the interest rate to 3.75% from next month... all these despite the recent fall in interest rates.

so i asked - where is the ethics in this whole issue?

5.55am

i was awoken by a loud `thud' that was immediately followed by a weak aaiiiyyyoooooohhhh this morning. i knew straight away that my dad has had a fall again. rushed out of my room, and there he was, lying face down on the living room floor... sat him up, stabilized him and left him to recover.

kinda worried about it... been a bit too often these days.

light-feeling

i feel so light and relieved now after submitting my essays and having completed my masters. and yesterday, after such a super long time, i left my laptop back at work. no requirement to bring it home cos there was no more homework to do!

and that means that i am now able to focus on getting my life in place, the big parts - the housing loans, writing my resume, look for job, perhaps look for a new car, etc...

quite excited about it!

completed!

finally submitted my last assignment earlier! considered to have completed my masters programme! looking forward to my graduation soon!

:-)

one down!!!

completed my presentation and i think i managed to impress my lecturer. told me he is interested in submitting my paper for journal publication! some minor touch up for the paper and considered one down! one final one to go!

peeing on houseflies

thinking aloud - why do people actually make the effort to aim at the (picture of a) housefly in the middle of the urinal? such a simple and effective solution to keeping the floor dry ya?

:-)

gay men @ the pool

was at the pool this afternoon and there were 5 persons (including myself) in the changing room. interestingly, all 5 of us exhibited different behaviours. and i would suggest that these 5 behaviours could possibly be used to frame the different categories of how a gay man would behave :-)

#1 - the exhibitionist
this guy would show his assets to people around without a single hint of shyness. for that matter, this afternoon, this particular guy was daring enough to show his hard-on!

#2 - the desperado
this guy would frequently walk into the shower and pretend to shower. but in reality, he would be using the opportunities in the shower cubicle to stare at others showering (of cos the object of his observation would not be the showering itself but rather at people's family jewels).

#3 - the curious
this guy would sit on the bench outside the shower to observe the comings (pun intended) and the goings in the toilet. he could either be in nothing except a towel or fully clothed.

#4 - the natural
this guy would be as natural as he could. he would go into the toilet, shower, dry up, put on his clothes and leave. but through the whole process, he would occasionally steal glances at people.

#5 - the shy
this guy would chose the far end cubicle to shower, run out to grab his underwear, run back to the cubicle and dry himself. he would put on his underwear again before walking out, put on his clothes and leave. also, he would occasionally steal glances at people through the whole process.

pissed off...

not sure why, but of late (increasingly so over the last 3 years actually), i get more and more pissed off by people of authority and most local politicians. no doubt that they do talk sense most of the time, still, somehow, i just get pissed off...

for that matter, the person's voice itself would be enough to piss me off...

counting down

tomorrow i'll be doing my presentation for one of my modules and that should conclude that particular module. 45 slides. supposed to complete within 15min. kinda tight, but well, think i should be able to talk fast enough to squeeze all into the time allocated.

once done, i will then be able to focus on the final assignment for the other module. it's been 12days since the final assignment was given to me. four more days to go before the deadline and i have yet to actually write it! :-) this is what i would refer to as super duper procrastination... think it's a case of misplaced priority or simply, my brain was just too exhausted!

:-)

2.15am

it was 2.15am this morning when i heard a soft and weak groan (aiiiii-yaaaaaahhhhhh) coming from outside my bedroom. instinctively, i knew it was my dad again. rushed out of bed, open the door and true enough, i saw him naked and sprawled on the floor again, his body half in the toilet, half on the walkway. he was drenched as he had been bathing before this happened. and this time round, he was in a rather odd position of half-prone, half lying on his side and his face was on the floor. rather than move him, i quickly rushed to the kitchen to prepare a cup of milo for him. warm concentrated milo always work for him when he goes into a state of hypoglycaemia (low blood sugar).

shouted for bee bee to help. when i returned, i realized that he wasn't groaning (which was typical sign of hypoglycaemia) and that made me worried. in fact, he look more dead that alive. quickly, i had to make sure he was alive. i slapped his thighs. luckily, he responded, weakly. i then dragged him out of the toilet, put on his spectacles for him and tried my best to hoist him onto the chair. failed. he was simply too heavy. tried a second time. again, barely made it. almost twisted my back. by this time, my mum had woken up. she was not to happy that he had gotten up at such a ghostly hour to bath again and grumbled. anyway, i managed to finally drag him to his bed. he fell asleep almost immediately, but before he asked my mum to make him a cup of hot coffee.

it was close to 3am when we finally went back to bed. but i couldn't sleep as all sorts of scenario went through my head. what if he were to die in his sleep, what if he were to fall off his bed. with his condition, could my mum possibly cope if it were to happen when i was at work, should i send him to the old folks home, should i send him to the hospital... all sorts of questions. i have no answers. and it was a long time before i finally slept.

went to work this morning. terribly sleepy. exhausted. and it was a superbly long work day. in the evening, i called my mum and according to her, my dad had no recollection whatsoever of the fall, the dragging him to bed...

sighs...

the dot and the line

got this from a friend. such a simple but interesting story. so many ways to interpret the story too... just read between the lines. straight vs dot vs squiggle... but one thing is for sure - the dot is such a whore!

background
the dot and the line: a romance in lower mathematics is a book written and illustrated by norton juster, first published by random house in 1963. in 1965, famed animator chuck jones and the mgm animation/ visual arts studio adapted the story into a 10-minute animated short film for metro-goldwyn- mayer. the dot and the line won the 1965 academy award for animated short film. read more about it here in wikipedia.

the story
this is the anguished tale of a sensible straight line who falls in love with a dot. the dot, however, finding the line stiff, dull, and conventional, turns her affections toward a wild and unkempt squiggle. though dejected, the line was not without determination, and, after much concentration, managed to bend himself, giving rise to shapes so complex he had to letter his sides and angles to keep his place. before long he was able to express himself in any shape he wished, from helices to spider webs to paul klee's little jester. overwhelmed by the line's geometric contortionistic prowess, the dot realized that what she had seen in the squiggle to be freedom and joy was nothing more than chaos and sloth.

the animation

enjoy!

visiting t3

bee and i was at t3 last evening after our short walk about in raffles city. and we were amazed by the number of people there! it seemed like these people were there for all sort of reasons other than sending / receiving people (for fun, for leisure, for shopping - even grocery shopping, for drinks, for dinner,... and so on...) - same reasons as to why bee and i were there!

on one hand, the popularity reflects how well-designed the airport is in terms of being able to support the variety of activities for the public. but on the other hand, it simply reflects how sad a situation singapore can be in terms of having places for such simple leisures...

guess we are just too small...

final week... at last!

this is the final week of my 2 masters modules.

for the critical inquiry module, have totally revamped my final mini-dissertation and have finally completed it. the submission due date has been extended to the following monday. but decided that i shall not look at it till thur or fri. will now focus on preparing my presentation of my research and my findings. presentation date - wednesday.

for the other module, have not started on my final assignment as i had focused on the critical inquiry writing. think i better start writing or i'll not be able to complete it in time. expected to write some 15-20 pages for this final assignment. due date - extended from this thur to this coming sunday.

one more week! hurray!

dad again

last afternoon, i got a call from a doctor from changi hospital. she sounded aggressive and came acrossed as scolding me! i was rather taken aback by the way she questioned me. you see, my dad had gone for a check up and had told her that he had been robbed of $400, that he had trouble sleeping at night, that he talks in his sleep, that he is suffering from depression, la la la... and she was rather confused by him as he was a little incoherent in what he said. so she called me. some of the questions she asked were - what is happening?! your dad is in front of me and i am not sure what is wrong with him! how come your dad is like that?! how come you did not know of him being robbed...?!...

you get the idea... for a short moment, i had to breath in and count to 10,...

well, had to explain to her about his sleep behaviour, his medical history - that he is diabetic and is prone to hypoglycaemia, that he had fallen sick recently, and experienced a couple of falls too... her tone slowly softened. she explained that she had conducted a memory test on him and he has failed the test quite badly. and listening to me, she suspects he could possibly be suffering from brain damage as a result of low-blood sugar to his brain; or that the brain could have shifted due to his falls thereby affecting his normal brain functions; or even possibly the start of dementia given that the signs were consistent with people suffering from mild dementia... whatever it could be, it did not sound like depression but to confirm the cause, she recommend that we do a brain scan and blood test for him. and until the results are out, she would just ask him to return home and that she would not prescribe any medication to him. it was lucky she told me of this cos i quickly advised her that apart from going ahead with the test, she must give some medication to my dad cos he would get very very upset if he leaves the hospital without any medication. guessed she sensed my seriousness and quickly agreed to do it...

well, next thing i knew, i got a call from my dad on my handphone. other than asking me what i told the doctor, he also shared that he told the doctor how much he loves me and how well i had taken care of him. perhaps he was worried that i might get upset given the tone of the doctor when she spoke to me. when i return home, i was told by my mum that the scans and checks cost them over $400 and that they had to owe the hospital the money until the next time they return... hmmm... really... don't know what to say or do. guess these are things that i have to manage. i think things would likely get worst but it'll surely come, just as it'll go eventually. just hope it'll not be long drawn. and hopefully, my mum would not be too affected during this period too.

nut sucker

i am such a sucker for cashew nuts... hmmm, for that matter, any seeds or nuts (no, no.. not tat kind of seeds and nuts!)... could never control myself when tempted with them. last evening, i was at parkway and while walking around in giant (ya... i know - boring), i came by the nuts counter. such paradise!!! so much seeds and nuts! cashew nuts of different flavours, peanuts, almonds, sunflower seeds, flax seeds, pumpkin seeds, la la la...

ended up buying garlic cashew nuts (thought it would taste good especially when i really like china garlic peanuts) and the honey glazed cashew nuts (more because i thought it looked good, nice and glazy). such a visual whore that i was last evening. ended up buying $4 for each flavour. and to top it up to $10, i bought $2 of sunflower seeds (yup, i admit - it was an excuse)... felt so much like a parrot! and i been munching on the cashew nuts since last evening... turned out the garlic flavour was such a disappointment. not as yummy as i had perceived it to be. rather, the honey glazed ones were very much nice :-)

balloons & florida

on my way to rochor earlier, i passed by the dhl balloon - the one that was tied to a cable and machine raised once it was loaded with sightseers. there was nothing new and nothing special about it. but, for that moment, there was this sudden back-flooding of senses that was rather overwhelming - the familiar fresh air, the autumn coolness, the cloudless blue sky, the scent of the temperate forest, and the excitement of seeing hot air balloons flying over me.

that was in 2004 when i was posted for 6-months to florida. edmund had visited me in mid-sep 04 and i had driven from my home in tampa to tallahassee to meet him. it was a fun-filled couple of days where edmund bunked in and where we visited places like disney, key west and factory outlets and drove through the length of the eastern coast of florida through orlando, daytona beach, cape canavera (the space center), miami beach, south beach, fort lauderdale, all the way to the tip of key west and then back to tampa again via the west coast.

such sweet memories :-)

and then i look at the dhl balloon again and thought to myself - damned bloody lame...

heh heh...

mighty isis

another one of my childhood favourite - isis (wife of osiris and mother of horus). used to imagine myself flying up the sky after chanting the lines "oh, mighty winds flying high, come lift me up so i can fly"... not much different from twisting round and round, hoping to transform into wonder woman.

thinking back, it was so funny... heh!

about animals and exhibits...

something to think about on this fool's day...

at zoo, who's the exhibit?

you or the animals?

can i...?

very frequently i hear/ read people asking - can i do this? or... or i do that? or... can he do this? or... can he do that? just yesterday, i saw stomp posting asking if a cisco police can take a photo of himself holding his service pistol and posting it in friendster...

such a phenomena reflects the high level of consciousness of the concept of ob markers amongst singaporeans (myself included, but much less in recent years). and looking from the line or argument and questioning, i would suggest that many of these questions originate from the fear of punishment and the desire to conform, rather than from the desire to understand the rationale and logic (even if it may end up with conforming).

while one may argue that this is really great as it points to a high level of community consciousness, nation above self, la la la... i personally opine that such a situation is indeed very very sad... very sad for it reflects that many singaporeans lack of a mind of their own, that many singaporeans are blind followers, or simply - that many singaporeans are just plain stupid.

and i see no end to this, for i argue that the system we exist in promotes this sense of conformity. the education system, the political system, and so on. and this in itself is a reinforcing loop whereby people elect the people that runs the system, once elected into power, these system reinforces the system that makes people convinced of their stupidity, of the importance of conforming blindly, and the people, convinced that the people they elect is smart, continue to re-elect the people to run the system... never ending.

stupid right?

habits

when you have been with someone long enough, you will invariably adopt some of his habits, even your choice of drinks. for me, starbucks used to be just latte. but over the past couple of years, it's been decaf latte with low fat milk, and not to forget, no foam. still is.

changi airport t2

changi international airport terminal 2 (t2) is a very quiet and peaceful place now... so very different the time when t3 had not open. and i am now sitting on one of the rows of plastic chairs and doing my assignments. and of cos, i am taking short breaks to blog and to do online discussion in my module discussion board.

the reason why i am sitting on the plastic chair is cos all the power sockets at starbucks had been taken up by people doing their work :( also, noted that the odd family that has been `living' in starbucks for the past few months is still here. they were seen napping away when i walked pass them earlier. really, i wonder how long more they are gonna stay here. heard that the wife is a bit screwed up there (well, in malay slang we call it `otak-tak-center')... anyway, none of my business. i just cannot comprehend how the family can put up at the airport for so long and how the staffs in starbucks have been so nice as to let them take up the seats...

well... ok, back to my work...

bonus?

when you receive a bonus, and you have to keep it to pay your income tax, can it still be called a bonus?

wonder twins powers activate

my posting about wonder woman also brought back lots of other memories about the super characters i enjoy when i was much much much (ya, you get the idea) younger. well, there was wonder twins (and the rest of superfriends), the incredible hulk, captain america, captain caveman (ok, not a superhero, but a captain nonetheless...), aquaman, man from atlantis, giant robot, hawkman and hawkgirl, thor, atom ant, astro boy, marine boy, etc...

hmmmm... such nice memories...

:-)

of dan & wonder woman

bee and i finally got to meet dan in person last evening. by chance, not planned for. but it was really pleasant. looks really good with kl :-) they've been together - 9 years? hmmm... that would be the same time i'd be with james if i had not splitted up with him 2 years back. well...

anyway, it was really nice to be able to find someone who shares the same interest as me - wonder woman! my all time favourite! and for that matter, no one can replace lynder carter for wonder woman role... really, sometime, i do wonder if i am crazy about the cartoon character or lynder carter. to me, lynder carter and wonder woman are synonymous! :-)

tanning

nice sun... think i'll go for my weekly tan again! let's kiv my homework for now...

:-)

fucking taxi driver again!

was driving home from work two days back coming down benjamin sheares bridge. the road was not too busy and there was easily 30-50m space between cars. average speed of cars was 70-80kmph. was in the inner most lane (lane 4) that was about to filter to kpe and i had to switch to my right lane as i had wanted to head straight.

signaled right, check blind spots, check rear mirror, noted the vehicle (a taxi) in the right lane was at least 30m behind, checked my blind spot again and filtered (to lane 3). to me, it was nothing short of perfect. the type of filtering where even the most bitchy assessor couldn't fail you if you were taking the driving test.

but well well well... next time i know, our taxi driver started to flash his high beam, up and down, up and down, repeatedly for a good few seconds! i checked again and it was clear that he had sped up but was still easily 20m behind me! only conclusion was that this fucker was a clear cut road bully!

bloody hell! on the spot, after taking a quick risk assessment, decided to do a emergency brake! taxi driver closed in to about 1 car distance behind me but did not dare to come closer. he then slowed down and drove at about 30-40kmph (in the center lane of the highway!) and did not dare overtake me, despite me changing back to the innermost lane!

fucker, wanna be a road bully, yet balls dropped once he sees a hostile response. bloody no guts! once again, this incident reminded me how much i can't stand taxi drivers!

ps: i had installed the probation plate on my windscreen and rear in case my niece needs to use my car... and i seriously think many drivers - especially taxi drivers tend to want to bully me when they see this probational plate.

refurbishment

the estate next to mine is currently undergoing the 10-year refurbishment. and it irks me to hear all the drilling and knocking - even on a saturday morning.

is there any way to stop them? should i make a police report?

so irritating.

homo-sensitive behaviour?

experience one
was at central last evening with raymond as we waited for bee to finish his class. sat by the river looking at clark quay. a couple came and sit beside us. they came, sat, chatted, joked and ate their japanese ice cream... then the boyfriend look towards our direction, turned and whispered something to his girlfriend. they then both turned and looked and us, gave half a sniggle and continued their sweet-nothings...

experience two
was at the fengshan market this morning for breakfast and my weekly marketing with bee. hawker center was really crowded. we found a table that was only occupied by a couple. we sat down and ordered our food. the couple next to us stared at us but continued eating their breakfast. once the table next to us cleared, this couple quickly took their bowls of noodles, soup, coffee and so on and moved to the next table. and of course, the husband gave us a quick stare before they finally moved over.

well, in both instances, i did not think we were loud nor did we `misbehave' by speaking loudly or acting in a campy manner... looking at the responses, i can only conclude that the people sitting next to us could either be accepting but couldn't help gossiping or simply didn't want to be seen next to gaymen. perhaps i was sensitive, and perhaps i had made some assumptions in interpreting the actions, but whatever the case, both experiences did certainly tell me that people are getting more aware of gaymen's presence, and that there are perhaps some who are more sensitive than others and do not want to be seen in close proximity to us.

on my part, i simply couldn't care less. i don't disturb you, you don't disturb me and we co-exist.

new final assignment

finally received my new assignment for one of my module... this assignment is a killer. but well, i think it should be manageable as i have been journaling quite often over the last 3 months. but hmmmm, still need to go through the reading and literature to do the review and think through my designed intervention... have 2 weeks to work on this final assignment!

push on push on!

:-)

bathing my dog

just bathed sapphie my dog... it's coming to 2 months since i last bathed her and she smells damned one helluva kind now! this is also one of the longest time i had not bathed her, instead choosing to groom her more often...

and interestingly today, she actually smile when she took her bath. perhaps she also knows that she is smelly already

:-)

35 months

this is our 35th month. one more month to 3 years.

how time flies.

2.5 weeks more

it's about 17 days to the end of my masters. for one module, it's down to one final assignment (of which i will be getting the topic this coming thursday) and for the other, it's one more presentation left. erm... actually, not really, i have not submitted my mini-thesis and have till 9 apr to do so. but since i have done the first draft, i am just so lazy to now revisit it and expand it further... so, i guess i'll leave it for the next couple of days and look at it again closer to submission date...

:-)

secret sunshine

watched secret sunshine on saturday with lay pheng and bee. was an utterly depressing show. you might find it rather controversial too if you are an ultra-right winged christian. to me, it reflected the realities and pains of life and how one woman tried to manage it. watching the show, one could easily appreciate the experiences that shin-ae (the female lead) went through and how all the emotions got pent up, the frustrations, the anger... and how it finally exploded and took it's toll on her. for me, i could feel the pain and at some moments, felt utterly depressed too. personally, having gone through the ups and downs in recent years, the show did struck a rather sore cord. although the context was different, it was the very sense of lost, of lack of control, of betrayal and hopelessness that gripped me.

a very human experience.

was a gd friday

been a long while since i have had such a nice and relaxing holiday. and what made it even more interesting was that firstly, i watched spiderwick chronicles the second time round. this time, it was with schneider, damien, edwin and bee.

raymond joined in after the show for dinner. and i guess damien must have felt rather stressed cos of lk presence :-) but it was a pleasant dinner. extra meaningful for me cos of lk's presence. well, she's quite ok joining me and my plu friends for dinner and drinks. and this time round was no exception.

35

thirty five!!!

my waistline! measured using the ikea paper measuring tape while walking around the ikea furnitures earlier this evening! bloody hell!

wtf!

referral after x-ray

went to see the doctor for my x-ray results. was told that i need to be referred to a specialist as he (the doctor) did not know what to make out of the black patch he saw at the base on one of my lungs. so he need me to see a specialist to confirm that the black patch is not due to lung cancer...

such hassles...

interestingly, i did not feel anything even when he mentioned the `c' word. guessed i am already so numbed after the numerous health scares over the last 3 years since being outed at work.

spiderwick chronicles

- the spiderwick chronicles -
been a long while since i last enjoyed so tremedously a fantasy like this one!

x-ray

been coughing out a lot of blood-stained phlegm recently. finally went for my x-ray this morning. quick 5 minutes and i was out of the place :-) the medics were so obviously aj! not sissy, just aj. very very obvious too. the way he stood, so straight it would make the gala pole look crooked, and then he spoke to me in the most perfect english when he passed me my x-ray film, thanked me, flashed his most beautiful colgate white smile, bade me goodbye and gave me the diva wave... and if his eye-lashes were any longer, they'd probably flutter like butterflies!

results of the x-ray will be out on tuesday.

i hate taxi drivers

nothing beats the feeling of pointing my center finger at taxi drivers!

earlier on, on my way home, i was again reminded how much i hate taxi drivers! was driving on the center lane, wanted to switch to the left lane (slowest lane) and signaled my intention. a taxi that was at least one-car distance behind saw me signal and sped forward to prevent me from switching lane. once beside me, he looked at me and gave me the half-smile... super duper frustrating! idiot big fat obese looking 40-plus year old man. such a fucker!

i was lucky that he couldn't go faster as there was a motorbike in front. i was then able to increase my speed and switch lane in front of the motorbike. seeing that i had managed to switch lane, the taxi then swerved to the center lane. when he drove pass me, he had the cheek to turn his head and look at me, again with a half grin!

decided to give him my center finger! bloody fucker! did not even offend him and he wanted to play punk with me! not the first time experiencing such taxi drivers. most of the time, i noticed they are the blue ntuc cab drivers too. simply hate them!

uptight

i think i am too uptight...

amy winehouse

bought the album amy winehouse grammys and really enjoying her songs, especially rehab and you know i am no good :-)

she has such a soothing voice. and the songs she sings makes you feel like you are back in the 60s era... the era where bob-hairdo, polka dots pink dresses, butterfly plastic framed glasses and eye mascara rule!

:-)

medical leave

went back to work today after 2 days of course break (well, 2 days of sick leave for me actually), it was cough-cough-cough non-stop. and my block nose kept getting block no matter how frequently i cleared them... and my throat was just screamingly painful... and to top it off, i just kept perspiring on and on and on... despite the fact that it was a rather cold morning and i had not done any physical activities. i decided to report sick after sometime.

luckily, the doctor that attended to me was not the usual nsf chow-keng tua pwee lor-koon-m.o. this time round, it was one of the more on-the-ball one. after going through the procedure of taking my temperature, checking my throat (open your mouth and say `arhhh...') la la la... he looked at me very seriously and said "i think i need to sent you for an x-ray. you are certainly not fit to be at work. i will give you 2 days mc and after that do get an x-ray done and come back to see me."

wah say!!! hearing about the 2 days mc almost cleared me of all my symptoms on the spot! :-) but seriously, he was concerned about the bloody phlegm i had been experiencing and judging from what i had told him, he wanted to be sure that i had not contracted some form of bronchitis or the likes... so here i am, back at home, feeling groggy from all the medication (again)...

ok, time to go back to my homework...

zzzzeeeeeeppp-tutt

was driving home earlier on after being given mc... it started drizzling as i left office. soon enough, i was on the highway, as i drove, i felt a throbbing headache building up... it's a feeling like there's something slowly eating you away... something very indescribable and something that slowly gnaws you away... very uncomfortable, very disturbing. at first i thought it was my radio, but nope, it was not switched on. and the feeling got worst as i drove and i felt more and more agitated as the seconds passed. to make it worst, the traffic started to slow down and soon enough, i got caught in a jam, all these in the midst of a downpour... and then suddenly, i realized.

my stupid windscreen wiper

with every sweep, the low-pitched scratchy rubber-glass friction went `zzzzeeeeeeppp-tutt... zzzzeeeeeeppp-tutt... zzzzeeeeeeppp-tutt...' this sound kept repeating and with each sweep, my headache got worst. almost drove me nuts! so i stopped my wiper, but my windscreen soon became opaque from the torrents of rain pouring onto it. and i decided to turn my wiper to full speed instead. helped somewhat but the furious speed at which the wiper now oscillate in front of me made me dizzy! seriously, it was between the devil and the deep blue sea...

so i decided what's best for me - turn up my car radio volume to the full blast! never mind if the songs that class95 or gold 90.5 were playing were shitty, at least, it was better than the zzzzeeeeeeppp-tutt zzzzeeeeeeppp-tutt zzzzeeeeeeppp-tutt at regular intervals!

not my day, certainly not my day... and for goodness sake, will someone up there, please turn off the tap! and if you up there decide to use the bathtub instead of the shower today, at least try to regulate the outflow after the bath!

geeeezzz...

breakthrough

finally managed to achieve my first breakthrough in my writing today... wrote something coherent (so i thought) for the discussion portion of my mini-thesis. completed. will start work on the implications, the critique of methodology and the future research tomorrow. well, at least, i can sleep peacefully tonite :-)

think i deserve a good short break... perhaps to start looking at the other module's requirement for the next couple of days... then it'll be back to this mini-thesis again

:-)