Over the past half year, and in particular over the last 3 months, I’ve come to know quite a few people who, in different ways, have become rather close to me.
Among them was one who grew so close that I eventually had to gently tell him I wasn’t keen nor ready for a relationship. He became deeply emotional and we stopped talking for a while. Thankfully, he recovered from the trauma and we’re back on talking terms. And despite his repeated assurance that he now sees me as a very, very dear friend, I can’t help but wonder if a part of him still harbours hope.
There were also a couple of others who have grown increasingly close - open, warm, and caring. Some use endearing terms when speaking to me or send regular messages to check in. One even visits me at home, brings food, fruits and little gifts; and makes it a point to buy something for me whenever he travels overseas.
I feel deeply touched by all these gestures of care and affection. Although sometimes, it also comes with the difficult but quiet need to hold boundaries, to stay kind without being misunderstood and to care without losing clarity. The last thing I want to end up with, is hurting others inadvertently.
It's nice to have close platonic friends. Sometimes it's hard to know if they are wanting more. I guess you need a nice way to explain you'd prefer to keep things platonic.
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