this has been a really life defining month for me.
and i am not talking about the announcement at work or the 2 visits to the a&e this month, which by itself was a first for me in my life too. but really, i was in a self-destructive mood this month and had done things that were way beyond what i would usually deemed right by normal standards. i do not intend to write what i had done here. so... yes, i will just leave it as it is. will i do what i did again in future, i cannot guarantee i won't, but for now, i can only say it is not my normal self to do what i did. and as to why i did those things, i supposed i felt neglected, i felt depressed, i felt aimless and i just wanted an escape. but i did not regret doing them. it was an experience by itself and i was conscious about how wrong it was such that i continued to control myself even as i pushed beyond my boundaries during the whole experience. frankly, if i had not controlled myself, i could have possibly lost myself and died in the process. ok, shall just leave things here.
so... yeah, i have yet again experience something new.
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