since mum's passing, i kept getting hit by emotions. it was terrible especially during the initial days following the funeral. but gradually, i began to better myself at controlling the emotions. so, i don't get hit by it so often.
i supposed work helped a lot. i kept myself occupied. yet, i must say that it felt terribly awkward that i had to remind myself that i need not keep looking and checking my phone. this was something i had been doing all these years, worrying about whether mum called and if i failed to answer, whether she would worry or worst still, get suspicious of who i was with.
and in the evenings, it was difficult cos i suddenly find myself with some time. there was no one to go shopping with, and no one to dine with now. for a few nights, i asked the maid to settle her own dinner, to head out to meet her friends or whatever. as for me, i ended up walking rather aimlessly at the shopping centers. i guess i have not gotten used to staying at home.
i think i will need time to reach a new balance in my daily routines.
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