i have a friend who had just suffered a loss. the loss of a very dear ex.
the loss occurred yesterday. and this friend is finding it difficult to handle right now. it seemed like there are elements of guilt, there are elements of self-blame, and so on. and i totally understand how he feels. the suddenness, the rawness, it can be very overwhelming. i feel his pains when i read his blog.
i have nothing to offer except some advise. advise for him to accept it and to try and see things from a different perspective. guilt, self-blame, etc is natural but is not healthy. then again, when one is overwhelmed by emotions, everything becomes a blur. most importantly, as one mourns, one must also recognize and accept that death is a fact as much as life is. but as we mourn, we must not romanticize, sensationalize nor impose a sense of guilt upon ourselves. we must consciously remind ourselves to move on after we mourn.
it is very difficult to accept things when death comes aknocking, more so when we feel it is premature. but what else can we do? in such a difficult situation, we have no choice but to try and see things from a different perspective. and i suggest - that although the physical self is no longer around, the person lives on in our minds and hearts. and in there, he will forever remain the person we loved so dearly. and this love will forever stay in our hearts. this, perhaps, is the perspective that would help us cope better when it comes to departures. yes, love is the only way to defeat death. with love, death has no place in our hearts.
when departures are forced onto us, we must all the more celebrate the person's life. for he had lived, he had experienced health, he had experienced sickness, he had experienced happiness, and he had experienced sadness. in short, he had experienced the richness of life. what more can we asked for for a person right? we should celebrate his life. we should accept his departure and let his departure teach us to live the moment, appreciate the people around us and live our lives meaningfully.
that would be the best gift we can give to the one who had passed on.
let go.
for now, my friend, stay strong.
the loss occurred yesterday. and this friend is finding it difficult to handle right now. it seemed like there are elements of guilt, there are elements of self-blame, and so on. and i totally understand how he feels. the suddenness, the rawness, it can be very overwhelming. i feel his pains when i read his blog.
i have nothing to offer except some advise. advise for him to accept it and to try and see things from a different perspective. guilt, self-blame, etc is natural but is not healthy. then again, when one is overwhelmed by emotions, everything becomes a blur. most importantly, as one mourns, one must also recognize and accept that death is a fact as much as life is. but as we mourn, we must not romanticize, sensationalize nor impose a sense of guilt upon ourselves. we must consciously remind ourselves to move on after we mourn.
it is very difficult to accept things when death comes aknocking, more so when we feel it is premature. but what else can we do? in such a difficult situation, we have no choice but to try and see things from a different perspective. and i suggest - that although the physical self is no longer around, the person lives on in our minds and hearts. and in there, he will forever remain the person we loved so dearly. and this love will forever stay in our hearts. this, perhaps, is the perspective that would help us cope better when it comes to departures. yes, love is the only way to defeat death. with love, death has no place in our hearts.
when departures are forced onto us, we must all the more celebrate the person's life. for he had lived, he had experienced health, he had experienced sickness, he had experienced happiness, and he had experienced sadness. in short, he had experienced the richness of life. what more can we asked for for a person right? we should celebrate his life. we should accept his departure and let his departure teach us to live the moment, appreciate the people around us and live our lives meaningfully.
that would be the best gift we can give to the one who had passed on.
let go.
for now, my friend, stay strong.
1 comment:
Sometimes acceptance and letting go doesn't come that easy. But time heals all wounds I guess
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