dear blog,
i have made many attempts in my whole life of 40 over years to find a religious belief and read widely to find one that i can align myself with. and even after finding it, i continued reading. i wanted to know my religious beliefs better. i wanted to know how to be a good religious person. and at certain point, i told myself i wanted to give back. and i volunteered. and through this, i manage to interact with many people with deep convictions... yet, amidst all these people i met, i have not come across one who is able to fully practise the truth. every person i knew who professed themselves to be good practitioners are so clearly full of angst. so full of themselves. so full of attachments. they have so much views of everything. sometimes, they use the concepts of loving compassion to give themselves excuse for criticizing things, especially politics. and they have many many attachments. from highly political stuff to daily mundane things. but from my perspective, i was clear that they have so much ignorance, greed, jealousy and anger in them.
all these are so clearly shown in this period of general elections. i see and hear about critical comments about minister's pay, about housing, about choices, about lots of things. i see people blaming for the sake of blaming. i see people siding with specific parties for no logical reasons other than to oppose ruling parties. i am not sure if all these translate to compassion. if i may extrapolate the idea of compassionate love in the context of the general elections, it is to vote for the right party. for the party who puts citizens above themselves. to judge a party for it's ability to deliver services to people on a nett-nett basis rather than to single out a couple of grievances here and there. to judge a party by it's effects on the population as a whole rather than how oneself has "suffered". and to do so, one has to do research to understand why policies like gst, erp, minister's pay etc are implemented. to fully understand the issue. after all, the first thing i have to be aware of and that my religious teachings tell me is to clear myself of ignorance. then again, for many people, i see a case of them seeing what they want to see. they have already made the conclusions. they have already blinded themselves to things around them. sad. disappointed. but what can i do...
all these aside, at the monastery, i see greed. i see exploitation in the guise of seeking assistance. i see politics amongst different sects. i seek greed amongst teachers who have taken the vows. frankly, i am rather disappointed. i am not sure how i want to partake in the community's journey. i have thoughts of going at it alone. of searching for my own truth. no, i think i have found the truth. i only want to do it alone. to self-cultivate. to self-reflect. to self-develop. to strive alone...
i am disappointed. and to a certain extent, disillusioned.
how?
yours sincerely,
your writer
i have made many attempts in my whole life of 40 over years to find a religious belief and read widely to find one that i can align myself with. and even after finding it, i continued reading. i wanted to know my religious beliefs better. i wanted to know how to be a good religious person. and at certain point, i told myself i wanted to give back. and i volunteered. and through this, i manage to interact with many people with deep convictions... yet, amidst all these people i met, i have not come across one who is able to fully practise the truth. every person i knew who professed themselves to be good practitioners are so clearly full of angst. so full of themselves. so full of attachments. they have so much views of everything. sometimes, they use the concepts of loving compassion to give themselves excuse for criticizing things, especially politics. and they have many many attachments. from highly political stuff to daily mundane things. but from my perspective, i was clear that they have so much ignorance, greed, jealousy and anger in them.
all these are so clearly shown in this period of general elections. i see and hear about critical comments about minister's pay, about housing, about choices, about lots of things. i see people blaming for the sake of blaming. i see people siding with specific parties for no logical reasons other than to oppose ruling parties. i am not sure if all these translate to compassion. if i may extrapolate the idea of compassionate love in the context of the general elections, it is to vote for the right party. for the party who puts citizens above themselves. to judge a party for it's ability to deliver services to people on a nett-nett basis rather than to single out a couple of grievances here and there. to judge a party by it's effects on the population as a whole rather than how oneself has "suffered". and to do so, one has to do research to understand why policies like gst, erp, minister's pay etc are implemented. to fully understand the issue. after all, the first thing i have to be aware of and that my religious teachings tell me is to clear myself of ignorance. then again, for many people, i see a case of them seeing what they want to see. they have already made the conclusions. they have already blinded themselves to things around them. sad. disappointed. but what can i do...
all these aside, at the monastery, i see greed. i see exploitation in the guise of seeking assistance. i see politics amongst different sects. i seek greed amongst teachers who have taken the vows. frankly, i am rather disappointed. i am not sure how i want to partake in the community's journey. i have thoughts of going at it alone. of searching for my own truth. no, i think i have found the truth. i only want to do it alone. to self-cultivate. to self-reflect. to self-develop. to strive alone...
i am disappointed. and to a certain extent, disillusioned.
how?
yours sincerely,
your writer
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