not too sure what motivated me, but i decided to pay a visit to the columbarium to pay respect to my dad this morning. this was something that i had thought of doing since a few days ago.
and so, this morning after breakfast, bee bee and i bought the stuff (joss paper, joss stick, etc) and drove down to the columbarium. it was bee bee's first time visiting the columbarium. i believed it was kinda symbolic to him. cos all these while, altho he knew my dad, they did not talk much. nonetheless, they acknowledged each other's presence and got along rather ok. and i am sure my dad knew but chose not to ask. and as for bee bee, he was always there and yet not there. hmmm, not sure how to describe this. i guess these are things that are better left unasked. it's like this for my dad. and it's the same for my mum. even until his death. and during the wake, bee bee was always at the funeral parlour, in the background, quietly looking, quietly observing. and in his own quiet way, i believed he was mourning too. yet somehow, while everyone acknowledged his presence, no one really spoke to him. he was, after all, a part yet never a part of the family. legally, customarily, watever...
anyway, we paid a visit to dad this morning. paid our respects. burned the joss papers. and after that, we walked around the place. i brought him to see my aunt's niche. and we walked pass the many nameless niche. each and every one with it's own urn of bones. nameless. as we quietly walked, he reflected that despite all the fights, bickering, politiking - for power, for wealth - through one's life, one ultimately end up in one small space, one small niche. good reflection.
and as i now blog this, it struck me (quite cheekily too) - that this is perhaps the ultimate meaning of our pledge - regardless of race, language or religion... one small space, one small niche, one singapore...
indeed, it was a meaningful morning for us.
:-)
and so, this morning after breakfast, bee bee and i bought the stuff (joss paper, joss stick, etc) and drove down to the columbarium. it was bee bee's first time visiting the columbarium. i believed it was kinda symbolic to him. cos all these while, altho he knew my dad, they did not talk much. nonetheless, they acknowledged each other's presence and got along rather ok. and i am sure my dad knew but chose not to ask. and as for bee bee, he was always there and yet not there. hmmm, not sure how to describe this. i guess these are things that are better left unasked. it's like this for my dad. and it's the same for my mum. even until his death. and during the wake, bee bee was always at the funeral parlour, in the background, quietly looking, quietly observing. and in his own quiet way, i believed he was mourning too. yet somehow, while everyone acknowledged his presence, no one really spoke to him. he was, after all, a part yet never a part of the family. legally, customarily, watever...
anyway, we paid a visit to dad this morning. paid our respects. burned the joss papers. and after that, we walked around the place. i brought him to see my aunt's niche. and we walked pass the many nameless niche. each and every one with it's own urn of bones. nameless. as we quietly walked, he reflected that despite all the fights, bickering, politiking - for power, for wealth - through one's life, one ultimately end up in one small space, one small niche. good reflection.
and as i now blog this, it struck me (quite cheekily too) - that this is perhaps the ultimate meaning of our pledge - regardless of race, language or religion... one small space, one small niche, one singapore...
indeed, it was a meaningful morning for us.
:-)
1 comment:
Sense of belonging...er...ownership. =)
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