what would you do when a good friend (who had, over the past few years, invite you for his birthday celebrations) did not invite you for his birthday celebrations this year? well, for me, it does not matter. i'd just take it as `ok lor, no issue. the birthday boy must have his reasons for not including me this year' and i respect that and move on. and for that matter, i don't even want to assume the celebrations was being held. but for bee, out of good intentions of wanting to buy/share the birthday gift, he called up another mutual friend on that morning and asked if there was gonna be a dinner (so that he could present the gift). that friend gave an `erm, erm... no, no celebrations' answer. and to bee, it was a worried-sounding response and a rather unconvincing one. and i could see bee was rather upset and he started to assume and imagine all sorts of reasons why this was so... and he went - i think he is not happy with us... i think he is....
kinda interesting to see this reaction of his. and i told him to just stop assuming things. making assumptions without clarifying the truth create stress and is the cause of many unnecessary tensions. firstly, there could be a real possibly that there was no celebrations. and secondly, even if there was, there could be many reasons why we were left out this year... of which i could name a few possibilities - (1) pantang (superstitious) - cos i am still technically in mourning. and you don't mix such events together (2) the celebrations this year included a different group of friends whom we did not know... (3) the celebrations include some friends whom the birthday boy thought it would be better for us not to be present... (4) the celebrations this year only include the very very exclusive close inner circle of friends.... and so on.
so many possible reasons. if being invited was really so important, then simply give the birthday boy a call and ask. if not, the last thing that we should do was to assume... and whatever the case, it was the birthday boy's prerogative to decide how he wants to spent his birthday and, if there was a celebrations, who he wants to invite. it was really not up to us to decide and worst of all, to assume we would be invited. if we really want to live up to being good friends, we should just wish him a happiest birthday and leave it at that. respecting how he would like to spent his special day and with whoever he wish; and with no expectations. after all, that is what friends are for right?
:-)
kinda interesting to see this reaction of his. and i told him to just stop assuming things. making assumptions without clarifying the truth create stress and is the cause of many unnecessary tensions. firstly, there could be a real possibly that there was no celebrations. and secondly, even if there was, there could be many reasons why we were left out this year... of which i could name a few possibilities - (1) pantang (superstitious) - cos i am still technically in mourning. and you don't mix such events together (2) the celebrations this year included a different group of friends whom we did not know... (3) the celebrations include some friends whom the birthday boy thought it would be better for us not to be present... (4) the celebrations this year only include the very very exclusive close inner circle of friends.... and so on.
so many possible reasons. if being invited was really so important, then simply give the birthday boy a call and ask. if not, the last thing that we should do was to assume... and whatever the case, it was the birthday boy's prerogative to decide how he wants to spent his birthday and, if there was a celebrations, who he wants to invite. it was really not up to us to decide and worst of all, to assume we would be invited. if we really want to live up to being good friends, we should just wish him a happiest birthday and leave it at that. respecting how he would like to spent his special day and with whoever he wish; and with no expectations. after all, that is what friends are for right?
:-)
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