loving andy

not too sure how to write or express myself here. have some friends who know andy and they have told me that he is a really nice person. not too sure why, but when i heard of that, i felt really happy for James. really happy that someone nice and caring is looking after James. and although i felt a li'l jealous for the fact that they are together, i also found myself wishing that James is also loving andy unreservedly.

i somehow sense that James has learnt to be more open and expressive. it somehow made me feel somewhat sore for the fact that what i had waited for for 7 years is now being expressed and enjoyed by another person. then again, there's really no point feeling this way.

as at this current moment, they are having their week-long holiday in beijing. very naturally, i found myself, sms-ing James the few very nice places that i am sure he would like to go... foot massages, great wall of china, beijing opera experience, etc. kinda weird to be experiencing a whole lot of different feelings at the same time... feelings of jealousy, happiness, disappointment, sadness, etc. and also the worry that James' might overexert himself given that he just had his appendicitis op 2 weeks ago.

James will be coming home and starting his new job. there will be new challenges, new people, new dynamics, new things to learn, new demands. i am confident he can manage, but i hope it will not take his time and attention away from andy. i wish James well in his new job.

a lot of truth in the saying - if you love someone let him go... yet this is very hard to do.

enjoy beijing my dear.