Quick thoughts

it's coming to the end of the year and I am beginning to see a lot of reflective pieces in the media about 2020. I must say that some are rather good and really put a positive spin on the year (despite all the gloom and doom). And this made me think about my experiences and what this year meant for me as well. But that piece will come end of the year. For now, let me capture here some little bites of my thoughts and feelings (that will not go into my year end blog):

• I turn 54 tomorrow. Birthdays have never been a big affair for nor a big deal to me. It is just another day and I do not really make a fuss about it. But for some reasons, it feels a little different this year. Perhaps it is the fact that I feel a sense of loss - loss of the ability to meet my friends for a meal, given that we need to observe the 5-persons max rule for any social gatherings. But yeah, this is perhaps the order of 2020. Social distancing and social responsibility. 

• I am blogging even as there is heavy drilling going around me. Welcome to the world of working from home where we work amidst renovations that are going on amongst neighbours. I kinda miss the quiet of the circuit breaker period where all works stopped and everything was peaceful. But I guess it's payback/ catch-up time. Heh... just need to bite the bullet and live my life as zen as I possibly can. I can only feel as disturbed as I allow myself to feel disturbed. 

• There have been an increased in wild life around me in recent months. I think this is the effect of the local drive to turn the country into a city in nature, and I totally like it! So these days, I hear the loud calls of the Asian Koel daily, amongst many other wild bird species. And of cos, the many professional birdwatchers that congregate near my estate every weekend trying to capture shots of birds such as the Jerdon Bazza and many more. And not to mention the sightings of otters, crocodiles, monitor lizards, wild boars, etc. Nice!

• Work should be winding down at this time of the year. But in reality, everyone is busy gearing up for the annual planning and budget projections. It's interesting to see the different dynamics and behaviours amongst the people involved in this process, including my peers. Some are co-operative, whereas quite a few are outright protective, drawing clear lines and making sure they are mentioned in all the achievements recorded. I suppose these are survival mechanisms but during such times, we really see the best and the worst of people.

• Met my ex-boss (whom I would call a friend now) for lunch yesterday. She asked me about my work and whether I have any intentions to leave my current job. I shared my dilemma - that I have never felt more uncertain given the pandemic, the job market and the need for everyone to be agile and to reinvent themselves (digitally). Yet, on the other hand, I am happy with my current role and managing things well, even sharing and coaching my peers and giving my boss the fullest support I can. I just contribute, and don't give a hoot to the many politics around me. She made a very interesting observation and comment - that over the last 5 years, I've grown tremendously and that at some point, I may find myself more competent than my boss. She added that I am happy where I am and I don't feel threatened cos at this stage of my life, I just want to get by and not get engaged in unhealthy politics and competition that can be very draining. I didn't see that coming, but I think she sees me pretty clearly, from afar. 

• Posted a topless pic of myself in Grindr two days ago as I was also curious about my "market value" hahaha. Totally not me to post such pics but I thought - for the fun of it, why not? lol. And so I posted a selfie I took during a hike in the jungle. Sweaty and tired looking, definitely not the best of me, I must say. But within 24 hours, I had over 720 views and lots and lots of taps and messages (over 50 to be exact). People who texted me ranged from 19 to their mid-60s, with the median being in the mid-late 30s. Many addressed me as uncle or daddy and a lot propositioned directly, some went as far as describing how they would pleasure me and even sent me pictures of their body and dick. Kinda surprised with all these responses. So, I still have my "market value"... lol!

Last but not least, 

• No other persons piss me off more than Donald Trump. The very sight of him angers me. Very strong words and not me to utter such sentiments. I guess I felt this way because his values, his selfishness, his unethical behaviour and his views about things are totally against what I have been brought up to believe in. Woke up this morning and read an article in New York Times (or was it AP) and I thought the writers argued quite well why he behave the way he did. The article centred around the word "Loser". I am just (super) glad to see him go.

Ok, think I'll get back to my work...

:-)