2019 - uneventfully fulfilling

It actually took me a while to think about what I want to christen 2019. And it was not because 2019 was a difficult year for me. Rather, when I thought about it, only one word came to mind and it was  work, work, work, work and more work. But to be fair to myself, I had to take other aspects of my life into my thoughts and so, I concluded tentatively on the term “uneventful".  Frankly, even as I am typing this now, I am wondering if there are other terms that could be used. But well, let’s use this for now and see if my thoughts shift as I write. For this blog, I will use a slightly different format. I will write about the key themes/ happenings that defined 2019 instead of the usual themes of family, personal life, friends, and so on that I had used in previous years. Here goes, and in no order of priority... 

1 - My heart procedure & health

I went for my stenting procedure in Jan 19. It was a second heart procedure for me, the first being the ablation procedure that I did in Oct 18. The procedure was rather straight forward - puncture a hole in the artery at my groin area, insert the tube to the heart, insert the stent, balloon it, extract the tube and patch me up... The months that followed were uneventful, almost routine. And this was due to the need to be compliant with my medication. Really, I have never been more compliant about taking my meds until this year. On the flip side, 2019 was also the year where my presbyopia got worst, my memory seemed to get worse, I increasingly felt the effects of nerve compression, etc. and  I crossed  85kg. It occurred sometime in the middle of the year. I had slowed down my activities tremendously after my heart procedure. Anyway, I decided I should manage my weight better and I am glad to note that I ended 2019 at about 82kg. This is about 20kg above my ideal weight based on my BMI. Let’s see if I can bring down this further in 2020. 

2 - Organising major events at work

I had assumed a new port folio at work since Dec 18. One of the key responsibility for me was in the areas of asset activation.  Thus came the tasks of running and managing a newly renovated facility and organising of events as part of the broader plan to strengthen engagement and promoting collaboration. This responsibility became a major pre-occupation through the year and it culminated in my organising of 3-4 major events concurrently between the months of Sep - Nov 19. It was really exhausting but at the same time very fulfilling, considering I had a new team and we were all grappling with our new roles. I can expect more of such events to come in 2020. It’s gonna be scary yet exciting. Hopefully my heart can take this stress. 

3 - Meeting his friends

Ever since getting together with PZ in Dec 18, I had accompanied him back to KL quite regularly, often to meet his friends whenever any of them celebrated their birthdays. And all the time, he will leave me alone whenever he met up with his friends. As for me, I will end up being alone wilding my time either in the hotel room or walking around aimlessly at shopping centers. During the last visit that occurred end-Dec 19, I was surprised when he asked me to join him and his friends for dinner. This was perhaps one major highlight for me for the year and, I supposed, for him too, considering how secretive he was when I first knew him. 

4 - I'm Singaporean - Proudly

In 2019, we both lost our passports. It happened in Malaysia during one of the drive up to Kuala Lumpur. The process we had to go through to to report the loss and for him to get a replacement was nothing short of a nightmare. Thankfully, it was a lot easier for me given the backing I had from the Singapore overseas mission in Johor Bahru. It was then that I appreciated the efficiency of the Singapore system. When shit happened, I bitched big time about the inefficiencies and the horrible mindsets of the Malaysians. But to put in perspective, I had to also remind myself that Singapore went through the same some decades ago. Perhaps they will take some time, but for now, I can only say I am glad I'm Singaporean.

5 - Traveling overseas

2019 was a year of travels for me. I started off telling myself I wanted to at least be able to travel once a month. I acknowledged that to some, such a target would have sounded quite nonsensical. But to me, it was something I wanted to achieve since the previous 2 years following my mum's demise. In a way, I supposed, it was my way of playing catch-up. And I am glad to say - I managed to eventually clock an average of 4 trips overseas a month in 2019. Of these, 3-4 were rather major ones - Osaka, Xiamen, Jakarta, Taiwan. But targets aside, what's most important was the fact that these traveling gave me the much needed break away from work and  kept me sane and sorted through the year.

6 - Meeting my aunt

Over the past couple of years, I had come to acknowledge that my parent's generation is slowly fading away and that in no time, all of them would be gone. And I said so especially for my mum's side where almost all of her siblings have passed on. And it was a really nice surprise to be able to chance upon my 3rd aunt (my mum's sister-in-law) one day early Dec 19 when I went for lunch at Tanjong Rhu. I learned from her maid that she's 90 this year and is suffering from dementia. She couldn't recognise me when I called out to her. But she was able to recall my mum. Elated to note that her dementia is the "happy" type where she's constantly cheerful and smiling. And through the hour of my chatting with her, she kept forgetting who I was and I had to repeat again and again who I was. Sadly, when I met her again in the last week of Dec 19, her memory had deteriorated and she couldn't remember even my mum... I supposed she was stressed by the fact that her maid will be leaving for home on 31 Dec. 

7 - Re-settling my grandma & uncle

It was a promise I made to my mum - that I will re-settle my grandma and my uncle when the time comes for them to be exhumed from their graves. Their exhumation was eventually completed in Nov 19 and their new resting place is within the same block of niche that housed my parents remains too. And I had to thank my cousin (who kept my grandma's burial records) for keeping me in mind when it was time to do so. I reflected on this and came to the conclusion that after my generation (or rather, me and a couple of my cousins), no one else would be doing due diligence to upkeep the niche, nor to pay respects to my grands. And such thoughts simply reinforced my desire to just get a sea burial when my time comes and not leave anything behind other than memories for people who know me.

8 - My family outside my family

2019 was the year where all my friends from my previous company had finally moved out of the company and joined other companies. In a way, it was a milestone for us all cos our departure from the company started some 3 years back when the company was acquired by the SIA group. We all had it bad following the acquisition. Some of us left earlier whereas others bit the bullet and stayed (either to build their resume or to await better opportunities). What's significant for me was the fact that this was the group of friends who stayed together, and bonded well through these 3 years. And during this time, each of them had had their respective life's defining moments (passing on of parents, grandparents, marital issues, partner issues, etc, etc etc) and everyone were there to support the affected one when it happened. With time, many have come to treat each other like a family and a couple of them now call me "baba" quite affectionately too. 

9 - Marking a decade in corporate life

2019 marked a full decade out of the military for me. I have grown much during this period. I recalled wondering how I would ever survive the corporate world when I was preparing to leave the forces. But the transition had been easier than I had expected. I had the opportunities to work with very inspirational people who supported and guided me through the years. I will single out the boss I had when I was in the airline as well as my previous boss of my current employment. Both were easy to work with and gave me the space to exercise my leadership to my team. For the former, I will forever be grateful to her for her understanding and magnanimity in allowing me full flexibility to work from home if I needed to. Her understanding helped me through a most challenging period then when I had to balance my work and taking care of my mum. 

10 - Cleared my housing loan & bought a car

I managed to clear my housing loans after almost 25 years. Quite a sense of relieve. And with this liability removed, I was able to divert the extra cash into a new car loan... so, in a way, I'm back to square one when it comes to financial liabilities... lol! 

11 - Letting go

You know, there comes a time in your life where you feel like it is time to let go and to not be tied up with all the different attachments that hold you back - either emotionally, psychologically or otherwise. I had quite a few such moments in 2019 and I am glad I made the move to let things go. Some of the things I did include releasing Sapphie's bones into the seas, discarding my dad's bed (not because I was sentimental, but I thought one day I might find a use for it), donating a whole lot of clothes to the Salvation Army, etc... I certainly felt a whole lot lighter.

Well, the above kinda capture some of the more defining moments/ themes of 2019 for me. Rather uneventful frankly speaking. Then again, I proudly say I had indeed taken good care of myself - considering all the trips I have made. And with this, I shall name 2019 as an "uneventfully fulfilling" year. For 2020, I will want to keep things simple. I will not pressure myself with any tall resolutions. Instead, I will simply aim to be happy, and to keep my health in check.

:-)