dinner with relatives

i had a good dinner with my paternal-side relatives last week after the close of the chinese new year celebrations.  

about 15-16 of them turned up and the youngest was no more than 6 years old - my cousins' grandson. it was so rare to have such a dinner than spanned 4 generations. and if i recalled correctly, the last time we met up was 2 years ago. there were lotsa catching up. and this time round, what was most interesting was the fact that amidst all the complaints (about this or that person, etc), most acknowledged that each family has their own issues to deal with and that we should just accept such things happen, not judge and move on. this was so different from previous times where everyone would offer their own judgments and at times turned such dinners a little toxic. i guessed many of us (myself included) have matured with age.

but what's sad for me this time round was that one of my aunts, who's now in her 70s has started showing signs of mental illness. i suspect it was the onset of dementia although her husband and son (my uncle and cousin respectively) believed it to be worst than that. from their description, it seemed like she's showing signs of delusion and paranoia. last year, she accused my cousin's wife of stealing things in the house. it got to the point where my cousin's wife feared going home. and this year, her condition has deteriorated to the point where she daily screams and hurls abusive words towards their neighbours, accusing them of all sorts of unpleasant things. she even went all over the estate to tell her friends about the neighbours' "misdeeds". this behaviour has caused much stress to my uncle. he has been going around apologising and explaining to people about her medical condition and that many of the things she said were not real (untrue). 

i can understand the stress they are facing. i shared with them that some of those behaviours were similar to what my mum displayed in her latter years. it was good to share with my cousins tips of how to take care of elderly with such mental issues. interestingly, it dawned upon them (my uncle and my cousins) that many of the things they heard about me were untrue. and my uncle even commented that he now knew how much i went through when i looked after my mum. i had not expected such conclusions from them but well, i was glad they did nonetheless.