somehow i don't feel anything this national day. in fact, this has been so since the last few national days. yes, it is a day to celebrate, to reflect on our independence, on our future, etc. but for me, depite the slight sense of sentimental excitement, it would be just another day.
national days do not excite me anymore these days. not like the way it did when i was a lot younger. a lot more naive. that was when i believe that as long as i am loyal to my organisation and patriotic to my country, i would get the same reciprocal recognition, acceptance and acknowledgement. nope, it doesn't work this way in this country of mine. and it became clear to me on that fateful day in may 2005 when the organisation and the country stopped recognising my contributions and bore its weight on me and punished me... becos of my sexuality.
national days do not excite me anymore these days. not like the way it did when i was a lot younger. a lot more naive. that was when i believe that as long as i am loyal to my organisation and patriotic to my country, i would get the same reciprocal recognition, acceptance and acknowledgement. nope, it doesn't work this way in this country of mine. and it became clear to me on that fateful day in may 2005 when the organisation and the country stopped recognising my contributions and bore its weight on me and punished me... becos of my sexuality.
4 comments:
Hi, I feel the same about National Day too. I don't even bother to listen to PM Message or watch the NDP. It's just another public holiday.
My dad decided to go home, back to the medical shop. Having me looked after my dad was not a well thought out arrangement. Making his way up and down 2 flights of stairs in a wheel-chair because my block is still undergoing lift upgrading was no joke. My husband nearly broke his back. My dad has to get his dressing changed on alternate days. It would have been an impossible task for me when my husband is at work.
It was also a struggle for me to get his home-cooked meals ready and attend to him 24/7 because of my tuition schedule. He needs help to move about and perform simple tasks because his legs and arms are weak.
I was wondering if I should quit my home job otherwise I didn't think I could hold on for long because I had to do everything myself. My teen son told me he is having exam. My 12 yo son will be preparing for PSLE soon but he helped his grandpa whenever possible. My husband works more than 12-hr days.
In the end, I think he saw me always in a rush and made his decision. I feel rather bad not being able to help him but he did have a restful night at my home. I just hope that my mum can manage.
He has started seeing patients already. I guess he doesn't want to let his patients down. Some of his regular customers sent fruit baskets and get-well-soon wishes. That's my dad!
hey, it's good to hear about your dad's fast recovery. i supposed it will take time for him to get his strength fully back. i do not think you need to feel bad. in fact, from another perspective, if you had taken him in and your house is not elderly-friendly, it might do more harm to him.
looks like you have an awful lot to do daily. but hey, i think at the end of the day, whatever you do, what is most important is that you find meaning in doing it, be it housework, tuition, etc.
:-)
push on. i think you are doing great. just try not to compare with others when you feel a little down. cos when we look at ourselves and we compare with others, it will always end up with us feeling a little less satisfied. but if we can look at things from the right perspective, we can really appreciate that we have lots of blessings!
be well my friend!
Hi, thanks for your encouragement. Actually I am a very easily contented person. My needs are very basic. Shopping is not what I like to do. More things at home means more headache for me to look for storage place and also more clutter to clear. My husband used to remark that I am difficult to please because I am not into material things.
I am happy with my humble home - a HDB flat. There were times when my husband wished to upgrade to a condo, but I would rather remain a HDB dweller. Home is where love and warmth are; where everybody living in it is comfortable and at peace. I didn't wish him to take out a huge housing loan and lose sleep over it. Life is stressful enough as it is.
My teen son said I am the poorest tutor. Other tutors can earn a lot but I spend a lot of time on my students but yet I earn pittance. For me, my objective is to help them improve. If they are academically weak, I give them individual attention.
:-)
when u do anything, do with your heart. be happy.
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