had reflected on gay lifestyle sometime back when i spoke with francis. but after further reflection, i think perhaps there is no such thing called a gay lifestyle. well, ok, there are gays and there are lifestyles. but when we put these two words together, we begin to generalize that all gays have a certain lifestyle and this certainly do not do justice to the many gaymen and gaywomen out there who do not live their lives so. so to me, the phrase `gay lifestyle' is an overused and abused, and under-understood phrase. even by people like us. and when we gaymen and gaywomen begin to agree that there is such as thing as a `gay lifestyle', we are directly agreeing that we are different from straights, to the extent that we have a different lifestyle. when we do so, we are shooting ourselves in our own toes and we are subjecting ourselves to further marginalisation from the so called mainstream straights.
think deeper. if we say gays drink, party, dress loud, and la la la... i can swear blind that there are also gays who do not drink, party, dress loud and la la la. on the same token, i can also swear that there are straights who drink, party, dress loud, la la la... well, you get the idea. where i am coming from is that there is really no difference in lifestyles between the straights and the gays. and even here in this superbly narrow definition of lifestyle to include activities like drinking, partying, dressing and la la la, we can already see how this phrase `gay lifestyle' has failed. the only difference i can think of is that gays go to bed with people of their same gender whereas straights go to bed with people of their opposite gender. that is the very crux of the definition of gays rite? check any dictionary and it will tell you so. no dictionary defines gays as people who drinks, etc rite? if we really want to describe the gay community, perhaps there are certain generic descriptors and trends like gays generally tend to be able to splurge on themselves, keep fit, look beautiful, groom themselves, etc as they tend to have the means to do it. the key words here are `generally' and `tend to'. and well, to me, `generally' and `tend to' do not equate to a lifestyle.
generalization leads to stereotyping and certainly do huge injustice to any specific community.
what do you think?
think deeper. if we say gays drink, party, dress loud, and la la la... i can swear blind that there are also gays who do not drink, party, dress loud and la la la. on the same token, i can also swear that there are straights who drink, party, dress loud, la la la... well, you get the idea. where i am coming from is that there is really no difference in lifestyles between the straights and the gays. and even here in this superbly narrow definition of lifestyle to include activities like drinking, partying, dressing and la la la, we can already see how this phrase `gay lifestyle' has failed. the only difference i can think of is that gays go to bed with people of their same gender whereas straights go to bed with people of their opposite gender. that is the very crux of the definition of gays rite? check any dictionary and it will tell you so. no dictionary defines gays as people who drinks, etc rite? if we really want to describe the gay community, perhaps there are certain generic descriptors and trends like gays generally tend to be able to splurge on themselves, keep fit, look beautiful, groom themselves, etc as they tend to have the means to do it. the key words here are `generally' and `tend to'. and well, to me, `generally' and `tend to' do not equate to a lifestyle.
generalization leads to stereotyping and certainly do huge injustice to any specific community.
what do you think?
3 comments:
Well... there are certainly some activities that are rather gay-specific; like cruising on some isolated stretch of beach. No hetero would admit doing this (you know who i mean).
While many of the staff u mentioned are not strictly gay-limited, the frequency is often higher in the gay community. Take for instance, the numbers of gaysauna/bathhouses dotted all over the world & compare that to the number of swinger clubs (or the the more classy version in "Eyes wide shut").
so in more scientific terms, there is certainly a bias in the statistical distribution. ;)
well, i don't disagree with what u said, but even with these gay-specific activities, we still cannot call it a gay lifestyle. doing so would be generalising that all gays do it and i think that is not accurate. no?
and of cos, i so know who u are referring to. let's just call him 547 shall we? :-)
Totally agree with u! Keep your postings coming. They are great!
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