"inferno"

watched this midnight show the night before i flew to hong kong. as in previous 2 movies, the pace was fast and there were hardly any pause in the show. it was like you want in, and bam bam bam! the story's intense scenes just went on and on and on and before you know it, the story had ended. having said that, i do admit i was more intrigue by the first two shows, especially the first. i supposed too much of the same has this dampening effect on me. nonetheless, it was entertaining.

hong kong day 3

day 3 was check out day. woke up early and was still reeling pretty badly from my muscle aches. on top of that i suspected i had also twisted my cervical bones for my neck hurt big time. i could hardly get out of bed and only managed to do so by using my hands to carry my head as my body wriggled itself into an upright position. it was actually quite funny when i thought of it. lazed the whole morning in bed as i watched some documentary on the tv. for some reasons, documentaries seemed to be extra nice when i head overseas. heh...

got myself checked out at 12pm and wild away the whole afternoon at the shopping center. was actually half afraid i might not be able to return to singapore considering there was a typhoon level 3 warning (for strong winds) and that it rained cats and dogs the whole day. thankfully, the rain lightened by evening and the flight home was not affected. that was my day 3 and that also capped my short stay in hong kong. on the whole, i thought i was a very short but very nice break. look forward to visiting hong kong again sometime soon. 

:-)

hong kong day 2

slept early last night as my body felt like it was breaking apart!

perhaps it was my body clock for i woke up at 6.30am. decided to sleep again and it wasn't until anout 9am when i decided to head down for my breakfast. i had not planned for the day and simply took things as they came along. went out after breakfast and just let my instinct lead me and found myself heading to stanley village eventually. i had always wanted to visit stanley village since some time back but had not make the efforts to do it as the village could only be accessed by public bus and i was too lazy to do it.

the bus journey to the village was interesting as it brought me to quite a few places that i had read a lot about - ocean park, repulse bay, etc. had gone to ocean park twice before some 20-over years ago and it was nice to see the place again. as for repulse bay, it seemed rather uninteresting from the top of the double deck bus. i reached the stanley village at about 11am and hmmm, it was anything but a village. was frankly quite disappointed by it as i had expected to see a traditional hong kong fishing village. instead, i see shopping centers, street bazaar (no different from mongkok except that it's much much smaller), and a whole lot of restaurants selling steaks, pasta, burgers, etc. it felt surreal to note the westernized feel of the place, except for the occasional small roadside temples that were erected for the different taoist gods.

i didn't stay long and left the place about 1-ish. it had started to drizzle too. went back to the hotel and decided to simply nap and take things easy for the rest of the day. my body simply couldn't keep up with me...

heh...

hong kong day 1

it was a superbly pleasant start to my trip.

i got a most warm welcome by the crew of the flight and they showered me with attention throughout the journey. was touched by their little gestures including signing off their names, complete with a heart, on a styrofoam cup! so sweet of them. also, during both boarding and disembarkation, the crew lead gave me a really huge and tight hug. hahaha... quite shy to hold up the whole lot of people behind me! so... yeah, it certainly was a very good start to the trip!

once i landed, i headed off to climb the mountain. it was too early to check into the hotel. and i thought it would be a better and more productive use of my time to do some hiking and explore the lantau island. kinda spontaneous but it was good. i had initially wanted to hike section 2 of the trail (the last time i did section 3) but ended up doing section 3 again after missing the bus stop. and since i had missed the bus stop, i thought i'd just do section 3 again, but this time round, starting from ngong ping po lin temple instead (i.e., the reverse direction from the last time). 

the climb was much better as i has prior experience and could manage my energies better. the ascend was much steeper but as the distance was shorter, it was more tolerable. and as it was a clear day,  i was able to appreciate the view as i climbed. and the presence of many other climbers made the climb all the more enjoyable. i chatted with a few fellow climbers as i went along. amongst those i chatted were 2 indian nationals who were taking a break from their work in singapore, as well as a filipino family based in hong kong. 

by the time i ended the whole climb, it was about 6pm and since there was a huge crowd at the bus stop, i decided to do a 4-5km walk-a-jog to the mtr station instead. i was totally dead beat by the time i reached the mtr station! my body was falling apart, my neck and shoulders were aching, my knees were giving way, and my back were at the point of breaking! struggled my way to the hotel and once i entered the room, i simply collapsed onto my bed! heh...

will be taking things slow for the rest of the trip!

5th hong kong trip

heading for my 5th hong kong trip tomorrow.

this trip was not supposed to be to hong kong. had planned for a 9-day long holiday this time round, to tasmania, or perhaps to japan. had planned for it 3months ago. and everything was fixed and agreed upon. but time and again, i couldn't get him to commit since the last 3-4 weeks, despite the constant reminders. it was ok, we plan tomorrow, and tomorrow was silent, and then it was ok, we plan next week, and it was delayed again and again... in the end, i decided to just go for my own trip. the 9-day duration didn't materialise too given the last minute need to attend meet ups with potential employers. so...

i am not going to let all these spoil my leave plans. the silver lining of this whole development is that i can have a break and at the same time attend interviews without the knowledge of my office people. will be there for the next 3 days. no specific plans as to what i'll do. perhaps climb the mountain again, or perhaps roam around the city. i just wanna get away. i owe myself this break.

will be back tuesday. and i will go overseas again this coming friday. i'll decide where to go when the time comes.

paid my respects

went to the thai embassy to pay my respects to the late thai king and offer my condolences last evening.

rest in peace king bhumibol adulyadej

king bhumibol adulyadej

(9 Jun 1946 – 13 Oct 2016)

i am at a loss of words now, despite expecting this news for a long time. i am not thai, but my heart broke when i got news of his passing. it's hard not to shed tears when one hears about his passing. 

may his majesty rest in peace.

picture from https://www.megavina.com/

bald eagle problem

i saw this picture of the bald eagle caught in the grille of a car after hurricane matthew passed and my immediate (instinctive) reaction was...

"darned, this is exactly where american politics is now. caught in a difficult no win position. and the country seemed to be on auto-pilot mode - just like the car - and the driver is totally oblivious about it"

thankfully, someone saved the eagle eventually.

politics as i see it from this side of the world...

wtf...

karma

something happened recently that made me believe even more in the notion that in karma, there are small loops and there are huuuuuge loops (damned, i am sounding like donald trump) - some effects are felt immediately whereas some will be felt after a long while... shan't go into further details for now. will write more when things go smooth and turn out well. 

for now, wish me luck.

:-)

drama @ work

woke up very early. had a bad night sleep cos my body was still aching. and it was in this half-dazed state that i headed to work. was totally distracted at work through the day. lots of drama, very stressful... here's a run through of the things that happened (occurrences not in sequence).

• was dragged in to attend a half-day meeting. no head, no tail... no directions too! i had to give my inputs and share things from first principles and from my experience instead.
• a friend based in hong kong texted me to tell me there are 3 positions opened in his company that i can consider. didn't have the time to check them out but it distracted me for a moment.
• a colleague/ friend felt stressed by recent developments at work, wanna talk. yours truly never fail to provide a listening ear. always good to talk to people and to encourage them whenever i can.
• a colleague's wife gave birth. he became a father. it was such a long wait and a few of us felt anxious for him. the arrival was more than a week overdue. really very happy for him. volunteered to co-ordinate the baby gift for some of the closer colleagues. also managed to co-ordinate for the corporate hamper to be delivered to him.
• send a flower box and balloons to cheer up some ex-colleagues yesterday. it got delivered this morning. chose to remain anonymous but somehow, they suspected it was me. and next thing i know, they texted me one by one to thank me!
• rushed through preparation for some training materials. no time to prepare cos i will be away two days for training this week and next week, will be away for some events too. 
• co-ordinated a meeting to discuss though a training that's gonna happen next week, yet people don't seemed to be too stressed by it. argh...
• police came to office to arrest a colleague during lunch. created quite a stir. a few came to talk to me and wanted to hear my views. a few went on the speculate what happened. i didn't want to say anything about it. some things are better left unsaid.
• the colleague who was arrested was led back to the office by some plain clothes policeman. felt totally uncomfortable cos of the sensitivity of the whole incident. people started whispering and giving funny looks. very awkward. 
• top management convened urgent brief-the-staff session after lunch.
• colleagues asked me to connect them to headhunters during lunch. they were desperately trying to find an exit and had broached this topic as early as 3 months back. did the groundwork and finally got it done after dinner.
• a company called late morning and did a lengthy phone interview. made arrangements for a f2f interview with the hiring manager and the incumbent. should be sometime next week. hope things work out.
• and my body and legs itched like crazy today! had to go to the pharmacist to get some cream to relieve the itch. 
• etc etc...

so... yeah... lotsa things happened.

eventful day.

macritchie encounters 2

i helped someone, or perhaps, i saved someone, and it felt really good.

you see, i decided to walk the macritchie trail again today. by the time i got there, it was about 5pm. the trail closes 7pm and judging by the sunset times these few weeks, the forest will get dark about 6.30pm. to come out of the forest before it turned dark, i'd have to cover 12km in an hour and a half and that meant having to do a brisk walk-a-jog. it was rather tiring considering it was cross-country terrain and i could feel the pounding of the feet impacting my back almost immediately after i started. push on, i told myself. as i passed a shed at the 4.6km point, i saw a lady lying down on the bench (let's call her lady a) and another lady (lady b) frantically fanning her with dry leaves as she lifted lady a's legs. sensing something amiss, i walked up to them and asked if things are ok. no, we're not ok, lady b said. i took a look at lady a. she was semi-conscious, her eyes were half-closed and she couldn't talk. her face was pale and her lips white. heat exhaustion, i quickly concluded. 

continue to fan her while i get some water for her, i said. quickly i ran to the ranger station some distance back to look for a container to get chilled water for them. thankfully, i managed to find one, quickly washed it, filled it up and ran back to them. lady b managed to sit lady a up and let her drink the water. slowly, don't rush, i urged when i saw her starting to gulp the water rather quickly. in no time, her lips started to turn pink. can you walk? i asked. it was coming to 5.45pm and the sky will turn dark soon. you cannot stay here for long, i told them. but she was too weak. i decided to run out to the reservoir pump station security post to seek help as there was no mobile reception where we were. the security guards couldn't do anything for me except to tell me that i could hail a cab. useless buggers, i thought, noting they had a van nearby. anyway, i relayed that message to the ladies and after getting lady a's assurance that she's fine, i continued my run after giving them directions out to the security post.

i ran for another km-plus but decided to run back to check on the ladies. from the shed, it would be a 2.6km-walk out and i was not sure if lady a could do it. when i reached the shed, they were not there anymore. they couldn't have gone far, i told myself. lady a was in no state to walk out and the least i could do was to carry the bags for them so that lady b could support her. i finally found them sitting at the security post. lady b was rather helpless as she couldn't get any grab nor taxi. worst of all, she spoke chinese and she's not familiar with the area. even if she could get a grab or taxi, she'd have problems directing them to where they were. poor ladies, i thought as i dialled the cab hotline using my own phone. in no time, i managed to place a booking. there cab would be there 4-6min, said the operator. but that was the start of another issue. 

as we were in the middle of nowhere and the road leading to where we were was an unnamed road, it was impossible for any cab to find us. i told the ladies to wait there while i ran out to the nearest named road (about 1 km away) to direct the cab driver. when i reach there, there was not a cab in sight. i waited. about 15 min later, i got a call from the cab driver... where are you mr jeffrey? sighs.... just as i had expected. i had to spend the next 10 minutes or so giving directions to the cab driver. and as i guided, i could sensed his impatience growing. things got interesting cos he was talking to me like as though i knew the place and started rattling things like - this sign post, that sign post, etc! hahaha... anyway, to cut the long story short, he finally found me after a few trial and errors and we managed to get the ladies out safely.

it was a huge sigh of relief for me. after they left, i noted it was 6.30pm and i couldn't proceed further with my run. it would be too dark in the forest. i had to quickly get out of the place. thing was, i was almost 5km away from my car and i couldn't use that route. i decided to take another shorter route by the forest fringe although this route meant a longer walk along the main road. well, i had no choice. anyway, i got home safely around 8pm. and as i entered my house, i received a message. "hi jeffrey, this is xxxx. you helped us earlier at macritchie. i managed to get your number and name from the cab driver and would like to thank you for helping us. my mom is much better now and she's resting. thank you once again."

didn't expect this, but yeah, it felt good to be able to help someone in need. this capped my eventful weekend. couldn't be happier to be able to end the weekend on a positive note.

:-)

macritchie encounters 1

i have been walking the macritchie trail rather often these days but the encounters i had these two days were rather interesting. here's what happened yesterday.

it was about 2/3 of the total distance when i met three guys. they were in their mid-20s and one of them seemed gay. and i say so due to his mannerism and the things he said. anyway, they were playing the fool and teasing each other as they walked. these guys came across as good school friends or army-mates. anyway, when i first saw them, they were making their way down the macritchie observation tower and they were chatting and laughing rather loudly. well i suspect one of the guy was gay cos (1) he made eye contact with me a couple of times. and through the distance that we walked, we overtook each other a couple of times and i did notice he glanced at me at times, (2) amongst the three, he was the best groomed - the gay-feel, as detected by my gaydar (lousy as it might be), (3) the things he said. for example, we saw a huge monitor lizard swimming as we walked along the boardwalk fringing the reservoir. while his friends commented on the size and some other mundane details, he said, wah, look at the skin, the colour so nice. make into wallet will be very nice... this one tickled me. i almost rolled my eyes on the spot. straight men would seldom think about such things. heh heh...

there were two rather interesting ladies too. they were also walking about the same speed as us. and they came across as rather easily excitable, spontaneous and fun-loving. as they walked, they commented on things like - lady a (at the fringe of the golf-course): wah, look at the buggy. we go take one and drive out ok? no need to walk so far... lady b: but we cannot drive. or even if we can, very difficult to drive one. then they laughed out loud and continued walking as they chatted and giggled at every little things they saw. and as we were on the boardwalk fringing the reservoir, i saw a wild arowana swimming and i stopped and looked. they walked towards me and stopped and looked too. sensing their curiosity, i pointed out the arowana to them. baby arowana, 金龙鱼. i said. and lady a: oooh, i see it, it see it! lady b: where? where? arowana! the one with the big knob on the head! where? where? lady a: errrr... that one is not arowana la! that one is luohan fish! and they burst into laughters. and we walk a bit more and i stopped. there was a huge monitor lizard swimming. i didn't want to frighten it. the ladies soon caught up and stopped too. both squealed: ooh.... look look! lady a (half screaming): ahhhh! komodo dragon! i turned and looked at her. erm, its a monitor lizard. and both let out a hearty laugh.

well, it was interesting to have such people. i might be walking alone. but the three guys and two ladies, to a large extend, became my walking buddies. our speed varied such that at times, the guys were in front, at times, i was in front, but on the whole, we were going about the same speed. and although i wasn't part of their conversation, watching their antics and listening to their jokes and laughters made me smile. nice right?

half-yearly check-up

visited the polyclinic for my half-yearly check last friday.

any asthma attack? no. any need to use your ventolin? no. do you still have your stand-by prednisolone? yes. have you lost weight lately? no. any issue you want to highlight? no. how often do you exercise? everyday. how long was your exercise? anything from half hour to four hours... well, that was roughly how the whole consultation went. erm, looks like there's nothing much i can say. oh, perhaps, eat more vegetables, and less prawns, sotong, you know... those are high in cholesterol...

kinda straight forward right? heh... and just when the doctor thought she could send me away, i asked - how does a person know he/ she is depressed? (and she explained, nothing new to me). why did you ask that? she queried. erm, well, i have been going through rather tough times and i just want to make sure i am ok. she didn't probe further. i didn't volunteer further info too. and before she closed my consultation. i told her about how i went for my kidney stone removal x-ray and noted 2 of my lumbar vertebrae were sitting too close to one another, so much so that that urologist suggested i should see a spine specialist. 

that remark caught her attention right away. she immediately made me lie down and checked my back. did some leg raise to check if there were any pains. nope, i said, just a little tight currently (that was in the afternoon). the pains come every mornings and i could not stand to wear my pants. i had to sit on my bed to do it. i added. what about any pain that goes down to your legs? she asked. well, not often now but when i twisted my back, i felt it. how about passing urine and motion? any difficulties? she probed further. erm, no. but the urine flow is very weak. she seemed a little concerned and immediately drafted a referral letter for me to see the spine specialist.

so... spine specialist appointment made - jan 2017. next general health review, mar 2017. and to do another round of routine yearly blood test a week before that.

miss peregrine's home for peculiar children

peculiar children. special. the title itself reminded me of the book "peculiar chris", a locally-written storybook about a gay teen who struggled with his sexuality since young. but that aside, i enjoyed the show, as i had enjoyed all other tim burton's show. would have been nice if judi dench has a larger role in the show. 

very nice, very interesting, and very entertaining.

:-)

100.3

today, i achieved something that i have never thought was possible. the radio dj read out my whatsapp message!

you see, i have been listening to this particular station "ufm100.3" for a while now. and each evening, there's a program where the dj would throw a topic to discuss and invite listeners to call in or whatsapp in with their thoughts. and the topic for this evening was - "what were some of your resolutions for this year and with the remaining quarter, what would you do to fulfil those that you have not achieved." and it was such a coincidence that i had just made a blog post on this earlier...

heh... and so i decided to simply cut my blog entry and whatsapp it in. i bore no hope of it being singled out by the dj cos (1) i have never had such luck, (2) the entry was too wordy, and (3) it was a chinese station and i send in an english entry. but i was caught by surprise when the dj read it out a couple of minutes later! i supposed the triple whammy that was in the message came across as a little dramatic. dog died, broke relationship with family... yeah, and now to top it off, cannot find job. maybe the dj thought by reading it, it would brighten me up and decided to read it. and well, he actually did!

heh...

failure to meet my 2016 targets

i started this year wanting to change my job. and i have failed. so, this is the third target that i cannot meet due to factors beyond my control, the first two related to (1) sapphie and (2) my family. for sapphie, i wanted to continue to take good care of her. the want to take care of her couldn't materialise with her passing in mar 2016. as for my family, i wanted to nurture my niece and nephew. this, too, couldn't be fulfilled following the break of relationship with my brother. that occurred in march too.  the third resolution relates to changing my job. i had set off the year wanted to change my job. and given my 3-month notice, i will need to submit my resignation by 30 sep latest. today is 1 oct...

looked like this year's gonna be a year of failures...

end of reserve liability

as reservist (operationally-ready) officers in singapore, we are all liable for reservist call-up for until 50 years of age. that is the same regardless of whether one was previously a regular (contract serviceman) or a conscripted person. and mindef would be required to give a 6-month advance notice before a person can be called up. i turn 50 in december. and based on this 6-month requirement, i should get a letter by jun 2016 if they needed me to serve my reservist term before i hit 50. they didn't. this means i will no longer need to go back. ever. heh.

then again, it didn't matter. i retired from service in 2009 (at age 43) and had been placed under a so-called "classified appointment" in the headquarters. this, of cos, was a convenient excuse given the need to keep me away from all the classified materials. and this was clear to me cos despite being given a "classified appointment", i have never been told what this appointment was, and for that matter, i've never been cleared by the security department to hold any appointment in the reserve, much less a "classified appointment" at the headquarters. so, such a convenient arrangement meant i will never been recalled for reservist. and that was exactly the case. 

anyway, i am not complaining. i must be mad to do so. nonetheless, i am glad that this chapter is finally coming to a formal close (when i turn 50 in december).

moving crown

i had a lower left molar implant done 10 years ago. i did not face any issues with it until 2 months back when the crown started to move. and at about the same time, my upper right molar also started to ache. it ached bad whenever i take anything cold. i am not sure why it happened but it was weird how both issues started together. since then, i have had lots of difficulty biting properly on both sides of my mouth.

went to the dentist and he didn't want to treat me. floss your upper right molar more, and see the senior consultant for the crown issue, he said. the senior consultant i visited subsequently (who was my friend) also didn't want to do anything about it. he couldn't. apparently, different dentists use different implant types and given the specific techniques (and tools) needed for each different implant type, one has to go back to that specific dentist who did the implant if any issues developed.

nonetheless, my friend spend a whole lot of time explaining to me all the possible reasons why the crown of an implant could move. best case, it's just a case of screw loose. just need to tighten it and wallah, all will be fine; and worst case, the dentist will have to take out the implant and redo the whole procedure all over again. and this would mean an operation to extract the implant, saw off part the jaw bone if infection had set in, do a filling, allow it to fuse with the bone, drill another hole before putting in a new implant. well, it sounded like a huge messy and bloody procedure and reminded me of the procedure i did for this implant 10 years back. the thought of having to go through it again freaked me out. haha...

anyway, my apprehension about the possibility of going through the whole procedure again made me think very hard about visiting the (original) dentist. until yesterday. when i arrived, the original dentist that did the implant was sick and his son attended to me. i was put through an x-ray and the dentist concluded that the implant was a-ok. there was no need for any op. for that matter, he just needed to remove the crown without any injection too! it was a huuuuugggeee sigh of relief when the dentist told me that. he explained that what had happened was this thing called "decementation" and that he could simply get it fix in the lab. but it would take time. one month. and in the meantime, he would clean the screw hole to rid it of all the bacteria before plugging it with a temporary plug. 

will need to return in a months' time to get the crown fixed back. so glad it was not as nasty as what i had expected. and yes, there were no injections, incisions, etc yesterday. such a huge sigh of relief.

:-) 

florence foster jenkins

it was hilarious, and sad at the same time. couldn't help but checked wikipedia for a background of mrs. florence foster jenkins halfway through the movie. there was just too many questions in my head that needed answers as the show unfolded. who's this lady? how did she die? what's her background? whats the relationship between her and st clair? etc etc etc.

the affinity to her grew with each passing minute. and it was really heartwarming how st clair doted and protected her, yet it was heartbreaking how he cheated on her after she fell asleep. and after all the well-intended gestures and efforts, she had to face the brunt of the jokes... really sad. "they can say i couldn't sing, but they can't say i didn't sing". this line hit me at the end of the show before she died. and in a way, it was hugely inspirational, whichever way you frame it.

thoroughly enjoyed this show. and kudos to the very strong acting by all 3 actors - meryl streep (who played mrs florence), hugh grant (st clair bayfield the husband) and simon helberg (cosmé mcmoon the pianist).

bravo!

dreams

have had quite a few weird dreams lately. here're two of the more vivid ones.

two nights ago, i drank some water before i went to bed. and halfway through the night i felt the need to pee. but for some reasons, i remembered my conscious mind telling myself that i could hold on to it and coaxed myself to continue sleeping. but once i did so, in my half-asleep state of mind, i dreamt that someone came towards me and gave me a blowjob. and in that state of neither sleeping nor awake, i remembered struggling very hard not to wake up in order to continue the great sensation of being blown. but it was a losing battle for me cos the "calm" of sleep and the "high" of the blowjob (or the feeling of a full bladder) worked in opposite directions. i was eventually forced me to wake up - to pee.

and i think it was the same morning that i dreamt of my mum. i had brought her out. to do some shopping i believed. and i couldn't find a car park lot. and so i dropped her off somewhere near the shopping center entrance. i vaguely recall it was my maid who pushed her wheelchair into the shopping center. next thing i knew, the shopping had ended and i was back at the car park looking for my car. i couldn't find it and wondered round the car park several times. i ended up at the entrance where i dropped my mum and the automatic door opened. and there was my mum in her wheelchair, my brother by her side with my sis-in-law and my nephew (i didn't recall seeing my niece). my brother looked much younger and had really glowing complexion (which was so unreal and unlike his real self). and my nephew (who should be 4 end this year) had grown so tall he towered more than a head above me. i was so shocked to see them, and my brother uttered something (i forgot what he said, but it was something conciliatory). i exclaimed out loud how tall my nephew had grown and asked how old was he. and he replied he was 3 years old. he didn't look anything like the nephew i knew. like my brother, my nephew was superbly fair. and then i noticed - he had patches of red bloodshot marks all over his left legs. it was horrible. i looked like he had been attacked by hundred of leeches. and on his right leg just below the back of his knee, there was a bloodied wound. much as my mind was racing and wondering what happened, i was at the same time dumbfounded. no words could come out of my mouth.... and then i woke up.

weird right?

"can you jerk me off? please, please..."

saw this recording just now... its about how a taxi driver begged this person to jerk him off one night. lots of thoughts went through my head when she described the whole experience. frankly, i felt a whole range of conflicting emotions as i watched it - sad, happy, surprised, grateful, funny, grotesque, erotic, etc. i supposed such mixed emotions are not unexpected especially during charity jerk offs/ sex. right?

watch it if you understand chinese. will do a translation sometime for those who cannot understand chinese.

==========
as promised, this is the translation to my best abilities:

"one weekend, after i had some drinks with friends, i took a cab home. the time was at about 1-2am. there were not many people on the road. the taxi driver was a very fat person. and just when we were about to reach my place, he stopped by the side of the road. i asked him why he stopped, to which he replied "can i ask you for a favor?"

i was taken aback. i hailed your cab, you send me home and i'll pay you. simple as that. what additional favour could there be in this transaction? i thought. so i asked him what he wanted. he said "i felt you are a nice person... (silence)... can you do me a favour?" "what do you want" i asked. "can you jerk me off" he asked.

his question shocked me. i could only uttered "what?..." (silence) and he quickly pleaded "please, please, i beg of you". i took another look at him... and i thought, "how could i ever do this for him?" and i winced. he continued begging me, "please, i beg of you... i have not had any sex for a very very very long time". 

at that point in time, there were so much i wanted to say but didn't know how to say. all my words were stuck in my mouth (silence)... i agreed and said ok. once i said that, i could see his happiness. he was so very happy. he hurriedly parked his car properly. once done, he quickly he took out his inhaler and took a few deep breath. following that, he started to hurriedly pull up his shirt and undo his pants.

he had to take a few moments to catch his breath in the process of undressing. it was then that i was able to observe the most basic animalistic instinct and desire. to me, and up till that point, there was nothing sexual about this whole episode. in fact, it felt so clinical. it almost felt like a show or a performance. when he eventually got undressed, i could see layers of fats, so thick and layered that i could not see his penis. it was all hidden and lost amidst the folds of his fats.

we had to lift up the layers of fats in order to find the penis. when i eventually found and slowly touched his penis, his reactions... (silence) that very moment, the strong reactions... it reminded me the kind of reactions you see between 2 persons who had not had sex for a long time. it surprised me, yet it did not shock me. for i also realised that it was just very human.

in fact, his very heavy build affected his breathing and his health and he had to take the inhalant several times during the process (of my masturbating him). once he came, he wanted to hurriedly stand up but he couldn't. his body didn't allow him to do so that easily. i had to open the car door and went to the boot to get a t-shirt for him. he thanked me profusely for that.

after he dressed up, he send me to my place and refused to accept the cab fare. but i insisted on paying. these were 2 different things (jerking off and sending home), i iterated. when i finally reached my place, i really wanted to cry. i really really wanted to cry. i felt that regardless of what society humans live in, social status, sexuality, etc... 

the human is lonely by nature."

well, you may call this a whole load of bullshit that came out of jerking off a fat taxi-driver... but you cannot deny the fact that this woman walked out of the experience feeling all so emo about it.

right?

freeballing

freeballing. that means going without underwear. another commonly used phrase for this is "going commando". and i wanted to write this entry after seeing someone freeball last evening. but before that, let me reflect a bit about "going commando".

don't ask me why "going commando" is used to refer to not wearing underwear. i suspect it was becos many military man choose to go without underwear when they head out to the fields for a prolonged period of time. wearing underwear under such conditions would simply mean having an additional piece of belonging that needs to be to washed and resources such as water are scarce and thus having a soiled underwear is not desirable in field conditions. and mud hardened soiled underwear are highly uncomfortable. trust me... haha... anyway, if this was the reason, there is nothing about "commando" right? heh... well, i think there are possible answers in the internet. go google it and tell me. heh...

but yeah, freeballing is something many do, either permanently, during specific activities (eg when they exercise), or day/s of the week (eg dress down fridays). some do it at home, whereas some prefer to do it at specific places such as the swimming pool, gym, etc. it really depends on each individual but what's common amongst freeballers is the feel of freedom that one gets when there isn't any underwear to hold the balls and of cos the family jewel. and on the same token, the need to feel secure kinda also explain why freeballers choose to wear underwear at times. you never know how much more secured one feels when there is that additional piece of material to grab/ cup one's balls, and certainly this would be most appreciated when one needs that extra sense of security (eg when one go for interviews). heh...

for me, freeballing as a norm is something i started only a couple of years back. and speaking from experience, freeballing is a practice that "grow" with you over time. for me, i started experimenting with it when i was in my 20s (?). at that time, it was only done only times when i was horny and wanted to feel "sexy" (heh...). such occasions were restricted to within the confines of my room. thoughts about how i would feel if i wear this or that (eg tights or running shorts that had its inner lining removed) led me to experiment with freeballing. such times usually end up with me releasing myself... heh heh. and then when i got desensitized to such momentary pleasures, i started to freeball more, and i began going out of the house without any underwear. and over time, the frequency increased and now i've gotten so used to it that freeballing is more of a norm than an exception.

the interesting thing is - when i first started, it felt so erotic i'd end up walking around with an erection most of the time. but now, it'll take a whole lot of additional mental, visual and maybe even physical stimulation before i get aroused! hahha... so, after all these reflections, let me go back to the reason why i started this post. i wanted to talk about how to freeball properly. yup, i actually feel one need to know some basic decency when it comes to freeballing.

you see, i've seen some people looking rather indecent when they freeball. just last evening, i saw this guy who wore his bermudas so high up i see camel toes, and his cock size and shape was also so obvious i was able to know he's cut and estimate quite accurately the length of his endowment. omg. and the best part of it was that he seemed rather oblivious about it. i have similarly seen very (superbly) well-endowed people who freeball in their tight business pants/ jeans so much so that the outline was so obvious. and the size of the cock would make even the longest zucchini look short. serious! it was such a visual treat to me! of cos, for some, they'd consider it distracting, or for that matter, embarrassing to others.

so... yeah, freeball all you want, but do it "decently" and don't make people embarrass about it. that is how i would do it. then again, you may not agree (especially if you are well-endowed and freeballing is to allow you to "show off").

and as commandos would shout out, hoo-ahhh!

heh heh...

picture from https://pbs.twimg.com

bridget jones baby

watched this show on friday night after dinner with bee. he felt tired and i ended up watching the show alone. i was a little tipsy from all the soju when i walked into the cinema. heh... bridget jones' shows has always been funny and this one did not disappoint. there were lotsa funny moments. 

and while i enjoyed the show lots, one small part of me thought about how asians would respond if someone got into similar situation in asia - getting pregnant, not knowing who the father was, having both men interacting throughout the pregnancy period, getting married after the birth of the child, etc. such incidents would be considered taboo and not something that asian societies would talk about. well, i mean there are cases like this, but it would be far few and in between and certainly, if it ever happens, the girl would have been forced to get an abortion.

then again, that's just me. i think too much. 

it was an enjoyable show.

ho chi minh trip - hcmc

we arrived at the city itself late afternoon. 

it was raining when we arrived and by the time we checked in and got about exploring the city, it was already evening. it was good that the hotel we stayed were located in district 1 and near the touristy areas such as the central market, the night market and the backpackers street. luckily a couple of colleagues had been there before and were familiar with the place. and so, they became the tour guides while those of us who were not familiar with hcmc just tagged along. and as to be expected, there were a lot of touts and cheats. 

we had a couple of negative experiences in the short span of the evening. firstly, we were made to pay some 200,000 vietnamese dong for 10 rolls of candy roll (which i believe cost no more than 5000 dong each). we had no choice but to pay cos my colleague was so excited by it, she ordered it without asking for the price and started eating it even before the store owner finished rolling all the 10 rolls that she ordered. it was a good lesson learned. we were a little more street smart after that and got about eating lotsa street food without much issues.

the second negative experience happened before we ended the night. we had just completed walking the night market and decided to head off for foot massage before returning to the hotel. the foot massage cost some 360,000 dong per person. it was not too bad. and at the end of it all, the masseurs asked for tips. we gave them 20,000 dong each (equivalent to about one us dollar, which in our opinion was very decent considering the low cost of living) but the masseur protested and asked for more. they refused to let us leave. admittedly, we were ready to increase it to 40,000 to 50,000 dong  but when the masseur saw us taking out another 20,000 dong, they protested again and took out a 100,000 dong note and insisted that we tip them 100,000 dong each. wtf. the massage was 360,000 dong each and they had the audacity to demand 100,000 dong. their insistence got one of my colleague angry and she stood up and simply told them off. we stuck to the 20,000 dong per masseur and simply walked out. wtf. 

the last day was spend simply shopping and eating. and wow, my female colleagues could really shop! we only had 2-3 hours after checking out of the hotel and they managed to purchase shoes, fresh fruits, dried fruits, nuts, clothes, etc... lol. that was how we ended our last day in vietnam. on the whole, i thought the visit to hcmc was interesting. there was a lot of energy and life in the city. everything there reminded me of patpong bangkok, or for that matter, singapore in the 70s. judging from what i saw, we should be seeing hcmc developing into one very happening, modern and lively city in the near future.

:-)

ho chi minh trip - seaside villa

it was a short 4-day trip with colleagues to vietnam. and it was an very interesting one.

we had planned to spend 2 days at a seaside villa and another 2 at ho chi minh city. and the plan was to head to the seaside villa once we arrive, and to sleep early. for day 2, we intended to wake up early, hire motorbikes and hit the market early in the morning. we were told the market was 100m from the villa. and after all the shopping, we would marinate the meats and head off to the hot springs for the afternoon on our motorbikes. and we would return to the villa for the barbecue... we would then check out the next day and make our way to ho chi minh city and spend the evening there before checking out the next day. that was the plan. but what unfolded was rather different.

we arrived as planned and were faced with the first challenge. the driver couldn't speak english, and we couldn't speak vietnamese. haha... thankfully, he knew where to bring us to. and by the time we reached the villa, it was close to midnight. we were presented with the next shock. we had expected 4 rooms but it had only 3. so in the end, all the girls had to sleep in the master bedroom while the guys shared 2 rooms. it was almost 3am when we slept. the next day, all the girls woke up late and the guys took the opportunity to walk around the estate. i took a look at google map and concluded that there was no real civilisation anywhere near where we were, much less motorbike rentals and markets... and this was subsequently confirmed by the villa cleaner. the nearest market was over 10km away. and after lots of discussions (yes, when traveling in a group, you can expect lots of discussions before decisions are made), we decided to just hire a cab and make our way to the market. by the time we finished our marketing, it was already late afternoon. so it was lots of preparations for some of us while the others went swimming and kayaking at and around the villa.

the marketing was one helluva experience. it reminded me of singapore in the 70s. stores were organised according to their produce type and packed close to one another. at the meat section, pork and different parts of the pig (intestines, stomach, etc) were arranged on wooden tables and there were many flies buzzing around the pieces of meat. it looked very distasteful considering many of the meat pieces looked dry and stale. and i do also note that they were selling cooked meat next to the uncooked meat. ewe... anyway, we couldn't find any stores that sell cut chicken parts. instead, chickens were sold live and slaughtered in front of you when you buy them. but what made all of us sick was that apart from the live chickens, there were also live goose, and puppies. yes, puppies. we decided not to purchase the chickens in the end and just focused on seafood.

anyway, the barbecue went well and by the time we ended, it was close to midnight. there were lotsa merrymaking and alcohol during the evening and many got drunk. and for the few of us who remained sober, we had to look after those who were drunk and clear up the mess that was created. it wasn't until about 3-4am before we retired. the next day was quite a blur as we cleared up and finished up eating the left over from the night before. we finally checked out of the villa after lunch before making our way to ho chi minh city itself.

zika & zikee

my colleagues and i had been sharing a lot of crazy nothings these days. and it was a really good way to release all the tensions that we face at work. and today, as we were having lunch, the topic drifted to the zika virus... and for some reasons, we started joking about it. here're some of the nonsense that came out of the conversation:

• imagine having a pet mosquito. the male would be called zika and the female, zikee
• next imagine, bringing zika and zikee to work. you have no choice but to do so cos at home, the government are conducting all sorts of mozzie wipe-out drills... you certainly cannot risk keeping your pets at home and risking them getting killed right? pets are family also, right?
• and at work, imagine you having to "walk" zika and zikee... and to do so, you have to put a thread-like leash on them before "walking" them (try visualising the walk...)
• and as you work, you would have to regularly go "bzzzz, bzzzz, sit! don't be naughty, down girl, down girl! sit!" mozzie-talk, disciplining the hyperactive mozzies...
• and oh, we also came to a realisation that we cannot bring zikee to our terminal 3 office. we've a pregnant staff there, and the sight of this pregnant staff would turn zikee on so much she'd go crazy...
• etc etc etc...

yup, that was the crazy conversation we had, and the story continued to evolve as we built on it. and we laughed so much we attracted quite a bit of attention at the staff canteen...

haha...

resemblance to mum

was surprised to get this message from my sis earlier on. had bought some durian mooncakes for her family and after dropping it off her place, she texted me to ask me not to buy such expensive things for her in future. and after a while, i got this message. well, i know i resemble my mum but never in my life had i expected my family member to make this comment... heh...

granddad's 47th death anniversary

i went to the columbarium to pay my respects to my granddad and commemorated his 47th death anniversary over the weekend. this coming thursday is the actual day and as i would be working, i decided to do it in advance. i also wanted to make sure i do it because of mum.

you see, mum had deep respects for granddad. when she was alive, she would make it a must to make offerings to him (and for that matter grandma) on major festivals and commemorate their death anniversaries. this, to her, was her duty as a daughter-in-law and as a way to show gratitude to my granddad. he had taken care of her and protected her from my abusive grandma and dad during the early years of her marriage before he passed away in 1969. she also made sure she install their tablet in our old house. that was the right thing to do as a dutiful daughter-in-law, she said. the tablet had since been decommissioned following her move out of our old house but we continued to perform these rites at the columbarium following the exhumation of his (and grandma's) graves a few years ago.

so... yeah, i think it is time i take over the responsibilities of this practise of paying respects to my grandparents. after all, amongst my parents' generation, there is but only one aunt left who's still fit enough to perform such rites. she had also recently expressed her wish to hand this responsibility to my generation.

gay porn, happy endings

i watched this short story last night before i slept. it was such a depressing show. my immediate reflection was that for some reasons, all gay shows tend to be depressing. there has not been, or at least i have not come across, stories about gay men that has a good ending. i supposed such stories and the depressing nature of the show is a reflection of the way things are for many gay men around the world, and sadly, the state of acceptance of gay men, particularly in asian countries. and in the case of this story (which serve to educate about hiv), i thought it was also depressing as it suggested how one could get infected from just one encounter. possible although the probability is relatively low, in my opinion. but yeah, i guess to educate, one must have the shock factor. sighs...

anyway, on a more funny note, i texted this link to a friend and he shared similar sentiments. and quickly the conversation ended with "i prefer gay porn, it always has a happy ending"... pun fully intended.

lol!

impending visit to ho chi minh

this coming friday, i will be visiting ho chi minh with my colleagues - 8 of us altogether. 

it would be an interesting experience for me for several reasons. firstly, this would be the first time i'd be heading overseas with a group of young people - almost all of them are below 30, other than one or two who are in their early-30s. these colleagues got along very well with me and i suspect it was because most of them were recruited by me and i had continually reach out and check on them. so, they have happily embraced me as part of their group and they have shared their highs and lows with me as they grow with the company. and in many ways, they see me as their mentor, and a friend. secondly, the logistics and program that they have planned is something i have not done for a long while. for example, we will be staying in a villa and we'll be sharing rooms, and doing activities as a group, and on motorbikes too! 

well, i'll just go with an open mind and simply enjoy the experience.

conservative voter

early today, i read in the papers that hk-ers would be heading to the polls to vote for the legco. it reminded me of a tv political debate i watched when i was in hk last month. there were no lesser than 12 independent candidate/ political parties in the debate. it was rather entertaining to watch the debate as the format included one segment where they interject each other as one party spoke. it was rather confrontational and each political party went out of their way to put down each other. personally, i felt the quality of the debate was rather bad and my thoughts at that time was - thank goodness the political debates in singapore was not conducted in such manner. anyway, as a non-hk person, i could only marvel at how they got their politics done.

so, after being reminded of the voting, i decided to text my friend joe from hk. happy voting, i texted. he replied that he had not voted and was undecided about who to vote. his reply surprised me. it was not something i'm used to. for me, i would head to the polling station early, and i would be very clear about who i would vote for. my friend added, rather quickly, that singaporeans are lucky to have the lees and that they were often jealous about singaporeans. i was somewhat taken aback by his response as i had never expected people to know about singapore's politics, much less be jealous about it. nonetheless i replied, half correcting him, that singaporeans are blessed to have political leaders (not just the lees) that have people in their hearts, are responsive and listens.

i shared further that when it comes to voting, i am a conservative, and a realist. i tend to focus on what i have instead of what i don't. and in doing so, helped me be happy. and being a realist, i chose to influence political change by evolving it through constructive feedback. change will take time, but it needs to evolve, i strongly believe. i personally do not think singapore is so bad to the point where we need a revolutionary change to things. revolutionary changes are what idealist often look for, and they are always unhappy with things and want to see things change immediately, and in a big way. to me, while i respect idealists for their energies and their passion, i also think such changes are very stressful and full of negative energies, and often a times, many people would end up suffering.

i supposed my sharing resonated with joe as he agreed with my thoughts and shared that he simply wanted to lead a simple and happy life in a quiet and safe environment. he lamented that this was often interrupted by protesters. i sensed his frustrations as he shared but i didn't probe further. i did not want to come across as trying to influence his voting. we quickly change our topic after that...

zika virus

singapore reported almost 200 cases of locally transmitted zika virus over the course of last week. it started off with a sudden announcement of some 31 cases in one of the local housing estate. the announcement took many by surprise and were were quick to make online allegations that the government had withheld information... thankfully, this was quickly put to rest as the government ramped up efforts to wipe out mosquitos, educate people and iterate to everyone on the need to clear stagnant water, etc...

it is fortunate that the quick actions prevented this medical epidemic from deteriorating into that of a crisis of fear. while it is unfortunate that the outbreak has finally reach singapore, it is also perhaps a long forgone conclusion that singapore will get hit sooner or later, considering the facts that singapore is a very small country, singaporeans travel frequently, and hundreds of thousands of tourists pass through our borders daily. for me personally, considering the mildness of the effects of the virus, i had half the thought to deliberately get myself infected (if i had already not been infected, as i had a bout of flu two weeks back) so that i can get lifelong immunity. 

heh heh...

"forgive"

i have decided to change my whatsapp status to "forgive".

i realised i had been harbouring a lot of hatred and angst towards some people at work, particularly my new hod. it was because of this hod that many people in my previous company, and myself, had suffered this demotion. and for me personally, to get a few emails trashing me unfairly and being used as an excuse to get to my previous boss. i need to move beyond taking things personal, much as it was personal from the way my current hod had told me - i have decided to demote you simply because this other person was my ex-colleague and our friendship went back a long way, and if you cannot accept it, i can understand if you choose to leave...  will just do my work quietly as i look around for a new job.

and by forgiving, i will be giving myself the chance to be happy again.

depression

i think i am suffering from depression.

and i said this after reflecting my behaviour over the last 3-4 months, and confirming it after googling and reading up more on depression symptoms. anti-social behaviour, lack of interest in things/ life, easily irritable, short-tempered, increased forgetfulness, substance abuse, engage in risky behaviours, decreased libido/ loss of interest in sex, etc... everything i read described me to the dot. and this realisation worries me for it had crept onto me without me even being aware of it. this was so unlike previous few occasions where i was able to control and manage myself and not allow it to spiral out of control. 

from my reflection, the consistent hits i get in my life in recent months is wearing my down and it is affecting me to the point where i am hurting my friends. and i think it started with the series of losses - starting from my mum's passing in november last year and then my dog in march this year. and this was followed quickly by the loss of my family, my niece and nephew, my maid, and then my being demoted as a result of the acquisition, potential loss of my job, the constant toxic work environment, bad health, back issues, failure to secure a new job, again and again, etc etc etc.... and it didn't do good that at work, we were literally told to just shut up and focus on our new areas of responsibilities. 

and over the last few months, i have gotten irritable, snapped at people, cut them off from my social circles, avoided some friends, kept to myself, lost interest in life, in people around me, la la la... for that matter, i had also decreased my blogging to the point of almost stopping it altogether. ok, ok... just one conclusion - depressed.

if this goes on, i'll go seek medical help.

playing mahjong

it's been a long long while since i played mahjong.

and i did so again on friday night after dinner. you see, i joined my colleagues for dinner friday and by the time we ended, it was about 10-ish. and since a few felt rather energetic and didn't want to go home, we decided to head to the house of one colleague to play mahjong. such a refreshing experience for me, considering i had not touched the mahjong set since more than a decade ago!

and as usual, i ended up losing. i've never had any luck when it came to gambling... heh heh. but yeah, it was fun. then again, the game was just an excuse to continue being together into the night. most of the time during the game, everyone was just bitching about their respective department office politics and how people are being "mistreated" by their new colleagues. and it was such an enlightening experience cos for the first time, i was exposed to the internal dynamics of some other departments. lots of angst and lots of tensions. 

and through these sharing, i learned a couple of things. and they include firstly, the negative effects of the integration are more pervasive than i had expected. and while it was interesting to learn of their respective department internal dynamics, it was even more interesting how they see and interpret developments within the company, and i must say, many a times, what they interpret were very accurate. secondly, such sharing allows people to vent. it releases their pent up tensions. and i could see the maturity of my colleagues such as how, despite their young age (most are in the late-20s, early-30s), many were able to draw their lines clearly between what's their personal opinion and how they should respond professionally. it reflected well on them.

however, sadly, i do also sense a the loss and helplessness for a couple of them. this was so because it is their first job or that they had just joined the company less than a year ago. and for these colleagues, they know that it would not do them any good to quit as it would affect their resume. they didn't want to come across as job hoppers, especially so in the current weak job market.

sighs....

bad office environment

this week passed quicker than i had expected. and this was, to a large part, because i had kept myself occupied and busy with some tasks at work. with things to do, time passed a little faster. this despite the fact that fundamentally, these are things that i do not think i am supposed to do, given my "decreased" scope of my job. nonetheless, i didn't bother to query further. in my current workplace, my attitude, and the same for almost everyone from my previous company, is to "don't ask too much and just do what we are told". any suggestions  would be interpreted as "being uncooperative, refusing to change (following the integration), and showing bad attitude". 

yup, it's been coming to 4 months following the physical integration of my company and another and the overall climate is still not too good. despite the cordial and co-operative stand that many of us show, there has been and continue to be, lots of internal angst given the treatment we get from the new colleagues. however, as far as the ceo is concerned, he continue to have the impression that we are happy and that staff from the other company have very low morale. he seemed to not have any feel of the ground despite the fact that he is located physically in the same office as us... 

anyway... we are already starting to see the intensity of people leaving the company pick up. august alone saw no fewer than 5-6 people resigning. let's see how this pan out in the coming months.

what a month it has been...

august 2016 has been a roller coaster month for singapore so far...  and this is totally unusual and unexpected. you see, singaporeans celebrate the annual national day in the month of august and usually, there will be lots of activities and events lined up. the month usually culminate with the prime minister giving his national day rally where he would use the occasion to share with the country his plans for the immediate future. the mood theoughout august, thus, were always cheery and celebratory. but this year, it was different.

this year, august started with the gloomy possibility of former president s r nathan's passing. he was warded into the icu on 31 july. and it was amidst this bad news that we commemorated the nation's 51st national day. well, of course, everyone was in a celebratory mood and this mood was given a further boost when schooling won an olympic gold - a first for the country. then came the lows... during the national day rally, the prime minister fell ill halfway through the rally and had to be helped off stage. it got everyone worried and anxious. the scene reminded everyone of the finance minister's brush with death when he suffered a stroke 3 months back. it would be disastrous if prime minister suffered the same. thankfully, he returned after almost an hour of rest. nothing much to worry about, its just heat exhaustion, overworked... whew! and just when everyone thought it was back to normal, former president s r nathan passed away. and the nation went into mourning. the state funeral will be held this friday. sighs... 

such a roller coaster month for the country.

2 more days mc

went back to work today after 2 days of mc and... i am back home with 2 more days of mc! 

you see, i went back in office this morning and for some reasons, my throat felt superbly ticklish. as a result, i coughed really bad, so much so that i sounded like i had an asthma attack - yup, the high shrilling sound that most asthmatic show when they get asthma attacks (for the record, i had a history of asthma, but have never had any attacks). my colleague was concerned and asked that i head home to rest. the cough didn't subside and by 10.15am, i started feeling rather uncomfortable. it was then that i decided to head to the clinic again. after the consultation, i was given a bagful of medication and another 2 days of mc to rest. 

i did observe one interesting thing - these days, doctors do ask if you want mc. i mean, how do i even respond right? this morning, the doctor asked me: so, are you working today? do you need to rest? errrr... i didn't know how to respond and for the moment, just looked at her blankly. my response after that was "erm... i work upstairs actually. and errr... what do you suggest?" i simply threw the ball back into her court. without thinking, she replied, "ok, i think you better take 2 days rest. drink at least 2 litres of water a day, and if your fever comes back and your phlegm turns reddish brown, you have to return again..." i didn't say anything further other than to thank her and left the clinic.

this is my first - 2 consecutive mc that comprised 2 days each. maybe its an age thing, i take longer to recover these days. whatever the case, its a good time to rest.

:-)

black shit...

this post will sound gross to some. and if you are irked by the topic of shit, don't read...

one of the things i learned after looking after my elderly mum was that i should always look at the colour and consistency of her shit after she clears her bowels. these could be tell tale signs of any internal issues or the need to adjust diet. for example, black excreta meant possible bleeding in the alimentary canal and that could be a major cause of concern... and over time, i also started to observe my own shit...

and today, i felt a very bad tummy ache all of a sudden and had to rush to the toilet. and before i could take my position comfortably, everything just shot out. thankfully, it wasn't messy as i was almost in position. whew... but when i looked at the shit, i got worried. it was as black as black could be. and for that split moment, i got really worried. did i have some internal bleeding or... and then i remembered, i had a whole box of blueberries the night before...

whew! what a relief!

hahah...

old uncle @ petrol kiosk

was on mc and went out to get lunch.

along the way, i decided to drop by the petrol kiosk to top up my petrol. i was in the queue to pay up and there was this cheerful 70-plus year old uncle cashier. he shouted out "thank you young man!" after the person in front of me paid up. this man looked in his early-40s. and for me, after i paid up, uncle shouted "thank you brother"!

wtf!

hahahaha...

on 2 days mc

i am on two days mc. started with a bad cough on friday that refused to go away and yesterday, came down with fever and sore throat. this morning, i woke up to block nose, then runny nose...

well, it's time to rest.

lantau peak - the descend

i was at the peak when it started raining. the droplets that fell felt different from the earlier rain. it was much bigger, and the force by which each drop fell felt stronger.  the few americans who were resting there hurried into the shelter. as for me, i decided to make my descend as it didn't feel like the rain was gonna stop anytime soon. i also did not feel comfortable squeezing into the small space with them. as i made my way down, it hit me that my journey would not be any less challenging than my ascend, albeit in a slightly different context. first, it was the rain, or rather, the thunderstorm. it poured cats and dogs and worsened the visibility that was already bad due to the fog. as a result of the downpour, much of the run-off flowed down the steps. and each step was very high (and steep), and as my thigh muscles had stiffened after the rest, it become quite a challenge to actually descend, step-by-step.

things were extra challenging because (1) my muscles had stiffened, (2) i was wearing walking shoes (not trekking shoes) which, by that time, had been totally soaked, (3) the downpour resulted in rainwater gushing down and turning the steps into a small rushing stream, (4) the visibility was poor, and worst of all (5), the steps were narrow, no more than 2-3 feet (about a meter) wide. a combination of all the points meant that the chance of slipping was great, and a fall would mean tumbling down the never-ending steps or if i fell out of the steps, a possible fall down the cliff. all these meant only one thing - fall = death, if not, at least a big time injury.

it was at this time that i started to ponder how the hell i got myself into this awkward and difficult position. i didn't and hadn't prepared myself mentally for this. i kept reminding myself i had to be focused, to be mindful and not allow my mind to wonder. it was one deliberate step at a time as i slowly made my way down. and as it was pouring, i was totally drenched and i started to shiver and the slowness in the descend did not help. after countless steps, things got a little better when downward slope got gentler and my mind wondered off for that moment, thinking and wondering if i would be able to actually get to ngong ping or whether the end-point was the end-point i had assumed it to be - civilisation where i could get a public bus back to tung chung. it would be totally disastrous if i had to do a u-turn, climb back to the peak and descend to the original start point just to get public transport!

it was during this momentary distraction that i slipped and fell. thankfully, i landed on my bum. i didn't suffer any injury despite a minor pull of my back muscles. i reminded myself i needed to get back to my concentration and after composing myself again, i continued my descend. and after many many countless steps, i reached a small clearing. it was then that i saw the tian tan buddha. the fog had somewhat lightened and i could decipher the vague outline of the huge buddha sitting on top of the hill some distance away. i felt so relieved i just stood there and clasped my palms together and said a short silent prayer. and then i continued again. it was perhaps another hour or so before i eventually saw a series of timbers erected in a certain pattern. ahhhh... this looked familiar. the end point was near... and in no time, the steps turned into nice cemented pavement. that was when i knew i had arrived at the ngong ping monastery.

all my worries dissipated that very moment and my mind turned towards the immediate need - to dry myself and get back to hotel. that was the tricky part cos i was totally drenched, my wallet, my monies, passport, every thing was totally wet. it was not too glam a sight but i ended up using the temple's toilet hand dryer to dry my stuff. i was so conscious about myself through the whole journey back cos i must have smelt like some rotten fish. heh... i ended my day sitting on my bed and using the hair dryer to dry my stuff...

was a good trip nonetheless. what was intended to be a long walk ended up a mini-adventure for me. it was fortunate that i didn't suffer any major issues/ accidents along the way. and now, thinking back, perhaps i might just make another trip to hong kong and trek other sections of the trail.

:-)

lantau peak - the ascend

i almost died climbing the lantau peak. and it was so unglam to have to crawl on all fours but that was what i did momentarily on the way up. i was just that shag! lol! i was in hong kong since thursday  and had decided to do my lantau trail walk on saturday as the weather was forecasted to be sunny and fine. it was unusual for me not to have any details before such trips but this time round, the only info i had was (1) the start point and (2) the end point (ngong ping), and that (3) the trail will lead me to the peak. section 3 ends at ngong ping and i could take a bus back to tung chung. from the limited reading i did, i decided to take section 3 of the lantau trail (that comprised a total of 12 sections). i had seen people walking up the hilly terrains when i took the lantau cable car previously and wanted to experience it. i had also assumed that what i saw was parts of section 3.

the weather was sunny when i arrived at the start of the trail. there was a lady singing karaoke (she had a portable karaoke set) at one of the pavilion at the side of the road. i thought was weird, considering this was in the middle of no where. but i simply ignored her. and after orientating myself to the directions, i started my walk. it seemed ok for a start but after about 5 minutes and when i realised the steps were not gonna to end anytime soon, i decided i should take things slow. my thighs had started aching and my previous mountain climbing experience told me that this ache will disappear after about half hour once my thighs warmed up. i couldn't be more wrong... the steps gave way to a nice gentle trail after about 10 minutes. it was a relieved to me as my thighs are started to burn.  

a short while later, it started drizzling. i was glad it did cos i was panting badly and my singlet was wet from my perspiration. i was conscious of the fact that i had not water-proofed my back pack but decided to just walk along. after all, the weather forecast mentioned it would be sunny and this could just be a passing showers. as i walked i came faced with more steep steps, and looking ahead, these steps seemed to lead upwards forever. omg, i thought, i didn't ask for this! i had merely wanted to come to hong kong to walk. but after having walked and climbed for the last half hour or so, i persevered. to manage my burning thigh muscles, i took more frequent rest stops. i was so totally shagged out it came to a point where i had to rest after just climbing a few steps. and at one stage, i was literally crawling on all fours! so totally unglam but thankfully, there were no one around. as i climbed, i chanced upon a couple of groups of climbers who were making their descend. one was a group of school children. they were  talking and laughing as they made their descend and quite a few wore ponchos. two of them were even holding umbrellas! looking at how gingerly they descended and how fresh they look, i concluded that the route from ngong ping was relatively easy and that i would not suffer so much when i descend later on. heh heh... there were also a couple of caucasians (americans i thought, judging from their accent) and they said something like they should learn the art of descending - and that was - to run down as fast as they could. when i heard that, my mind went - oh no, you don't want to do that... miss a step and the drop would be hundreds of meters downwards... 

the light drizzle worsened into heavy showers as i climbed. i knew my stuff in my backpack would be wet but i prayed hard the several layers would help prevent total drenching of the content. i was too tired and it was too wet for me to take out my passport, my wallet, etc. i simply pushed on. thankfully, the rain lightened and stopped just about 2/3 way up and that was when i decided to take a long rest and snapped some pictures. the scenery that presented to me once the clouds lifted was really beautiful. i could see a large part of lantau island. what was also interesting was that i was seated on a ridge-line and on the left, the view was clear. but on the right, things were getting rather cloudy and it looked like a huge white cloud was blowing upwards. soon enough, my whole view was obscured and i found myself totally immersed in fog.

i continued my climb up and the peak seemed so bloody elusive. my spirit lifted somewhat when two climbers coming down told me the peak was just a few steps ahead. i reached the peak half dead! i was totally exhausted. the peak was rather uninteresting and was no more than the size of a small bedroom. there was a signage that indicated the height of the peak. 934m above sea level. and other than that, there was a small shelter for climbers to take refuge in the event of thunderstorm or strong winds. other than that,  there was no scenery to appreciate as the whole mountain top was shrouded in fog and visibility was no more than 10-15m. when i arrived, there were a couple of americans. they had just arrived from ngong ping and were talking about all sorts of stuff, ranging from where they worked when they were in america, how they accepted the job in asia, yadda yadda, yadda. and at one point, they were commenting how boring singapore was, considering how flat the island was and that there was no mountains to climb, etc... i just sat there and listened quietly. they didn't know they had a singaporean there amongst them.

after resting for some 15min, it started raining and they decided to take refuge in the shelter. for me, i decided to make my descent towards ngong ping.

chibi marukochan - a boy from italy

i watched this show to kill time before i checked in to the hotel. i was not too familiar with the maruko-chan series but thought the poster looked interesting and went ahead to purchase the ticket. at the counter, the sales person told me it would be in cantonese instead of japanese. was kinda taken aback for a while but decided to proceed. thought it would be a change, considering how i usually watch japanese shows without any dubbing. it was interesting that the sales person specifically advised me that it would be in cantonese. perhaps she thought i was japanese! heh... well, if she did, i wouldn't be surprised as (1) i had spoken to her in English, (2) i am rather tanned compared to hong kong people, (3) my features are not typical of hong kong people, and (4) i was carrying a backpack (people don't carry backpacks to cinemas unless they are tourists)..

anyway, the show did not disappoint. the storyline was simple. a group of international students visited japan on a school exchange program and each child was "adopted" by a different family. for maruko's family, they accepted an italian boy despite initially being unwilling to do so. apparently, apart from this being a school exchange program, the italian boy had arrived with a bigger intent to trace and discover his grandfather's past. much of the show focused on how maruko and the family helped this boy looked for a particular couple who had interacted with the grandfather. it was a heartwarming show that ended with many in tears towards the end.

this show shone through by its simple storyline. yet it was able to connect with audiences at many levels of emotions. for me personally, i was caught grinning widely, and at times, tearing at the same time. thoroughly enjoyed it.