zika & zikee

my colleagues and i had been sharing a lot of crazy nothings these days. and it was a really good way to release all the tensions that we face at work. and today, as we were having lunch, the topic drifted to the zika virus... and for some reasons, we started joking about it. here're some of the nonsense that came out of the conversation:

• imagine having a pet mosquito. the male would be called zika and the female, zikee
• next imagine, bringing zika and zikee to work. you have no choice but to do so cos at home, the government are conducting all sorts of mozzie wipe-out drills... you certainly cannot risk keeping your pets at home and risking them getting killed right? pets are family also, right?
• and at work, imagine you having to "walk" zika and zikee... and to do so, you have to put a thread-like leash on them before "walking" them (try visualising the walk...)
• and as you work, you would have to regularly go "bzzzz, bzzzz, sit! don't be naughty, down girl, down girl! sit!" mozzie-talk, disciplining the hyperactive mozzies...
• and oh, we also came to a realisation that we cannot bring zikee to our terminal 3 office. we've a pregnant staff there, and the sight of this pregnant staff would turn zikee on so much she'd go crazy...
• etc etc etc...

yup, that was the crazy conversation we had, and the story continued to evolve as we built on it. and we laughed so much we attracted quite a bit of attention at the staff canteen...

haha...

resemblance to mum

was surprised to get this message from my sis earlier on. had bought some durian mooncakes for her family and after dropping it off her place, she texted me to ask me not to buy such expensive things for her in future. and after a while, i got this message. well, i know i resemble my mum but never in my life had i expected my family member to make this comment... heh...

granddad's 47th death anniversary

i went to the columbarium to pay my respects to my granddad and commemorated his 47th death anniversary over the weekend. this coming thursday is the actual day and as i would be working, i decided to do it in advance. i also wanted to make sure i do it because of mum.

you see, mum had deep respects for granddad. when she was alive, she would make it a must to make offerings to him (and for that matter grandma) on major festivals and commemorate their death anniversaries. this, to her, was her duty as a daughter-in-law and as a way to show gratitude to my granddad. he had taken care of her and protected her from my abusive grandma and dad during the early years of her marriage before he passed away in 1969. she also made sure she install their tablet in our old house. that was the right thing to do as a dutiful daughter-in-law, she said. the tablet had since been decommissioned following her move out of our old house but we continued to perform these rites at the columbarium following the exhumation of his (and grandma's) graves a few years ago.

so... yeah, i think it is time i take over the responsibilities of this practise of paying respects to my grandparents. after all, amongst my parents' generation, there is but only one aunt left who's still fit enough to perform such rites. she had also recently expressed her wish to hand this responsibility to my generation.

gay porn, happy endings

i watched this short story last night before i slept. it was such a depressing show. my immediate reflection was that for some reasons, all gay shows tend to be depressing. there has not been, or at least i have not come across, stories about gay men that has a good ending. i supposed such stories and the depressing nature of the show is a reflection of the way things are for many gay men around the world, and sadly, the state of acceptance of gay men, particularly in asian countries. and in the case of this story (which serve to educate about hiv), i thought it was also depressing as it suggested how one could get infected from just one encounter. possible although the probability is relatively low, in my opinion. but yeah, i guess to educate, one must have the shock factor. sighs...

anyway, on a more funny note, i texted this link to a friend and he shared similar sentiments. and quickly the conversation ended with "i prefer gay porn, it always has a happy ending"... pun fully intended.

lol!

impending visit to ho chi minh

this coming friday, i will be visiting ho chi minh with my colleagues - 8 of us altogether. 

it would be an interesting experience for me for several reasons. firstly, this would be the first time i'd be heading overseas with a group of young people - almost all of them are below 30, other than one or two who are in their early-30s. these colleagues got along very well with me and i suspect it was because most of them were recruited by me and i had continually reach out and check on them. so, they have happily embraced me as part of their group and they have shared their highs and lows with me as they grow with the company. and in many ways, they see me as their mentor, and a friend. secondly, the logistics and program that they have planned is something i have not done for a long while. for example, we will be staying in a villa and we'll be sharing rooms, and doing activities as a group, and on motorbikes too! 

well, i'll just go with an open mind and simply enjoy the experience.

conservative voter

early today, i read in the papers that hk-ers would be heading to the polls to vote for the legco. it reminded me of a tv political debate i watched when i was in hk last month. there were no lesser than 12 independent candidate/ political parties in the debate. it was rather entertaining to watch the debate as the format included one segment where they interject each other as one party spoke. it was rather confrontational and each political party went out of their way to put down each other. personally, i felt the quality of the debate was rather bad and my thoughts at that time was - thank goodness the political debates in singapore was not conducted in such manner. anyway, as a non-hk person, i could only marvel at how they got their politics done.

so, after being reminded of the voting, i decided to text my friend joe from hk. happy voting, i texted. he replied that he had not voted and was undecided about who to vote. his reply surprised me. it was not something i'm used to. for me, i would head to the polling station early, and i would be very clear about who i would vote for. my friend added, rather quickly, that singaporeans are lucky to have the lees and that they were often jealous about singaporeans. i was somewhat taken aback by his response as i had never expected people to know about singapore's politics, much less be jealous about it. nonetheless i replied, half correcting him, that singaporeans are blessed to have political leaders (not just the lees) that have people in their hearts, are responsive and listens.

i shared further that when it comes to voting, i am a conservative, and a realist. i tend to focus on what i have instead of what i don't. and in doing so, helped me be happy. and being a realist, i chose to influence political change by evolving it through constructive feedback. change will take time, but it needs to evolve, i strongly believe. i personally do not think singapore is so bad to the point where we need a revolutionary change to things. revolutionary changes are what idealist often look for, and they are always unhappy with things and want to see things change immediately, and in a big way. to me, while i respect idealists for their energies and their passion, i also think such changes are very stressful and full of negative energies, and often a times, many people would end up suffering.

i supposed my sharing resonated with joe as he agreed with my thoughts and shared that he simply wanted to lead a simple and happy life in a quiet and safe environment. he lamented that this was often interrupted by protesters. i sensed his frustrations as he shared but i didn't probe further. i did not want to come across as trying to influence his voting. we quickly change our topic after that...

zika virus

singapore reported almost 200 cases of locally transmitted zika virus over the course of last week. it started off with a sudden announcement of some 31 cases in one of the local housing estate. the announcement took many by surprise and were were quick to make online allegations that the government had withheld information... thankfully, this was quickly put to rest as the government ramped up efforts to wipe out mosquitos, educate people and iterate to everyone on the need to clear stagnant water, etc...

it is fortunate that the quick actions prevented this medical epidemic from deteriorating into that of a crisis of fear. while it is unfortunate that the outbreak has finally reach singapore, it is also perhaps a long forgone conclusion that singapore will get hit sooner or later, considering the facts that singapore is a very small country, singaporeans travel frequently, and hundreds of thousands of tourists pass through our borders daily. for me personally, considering the mildness of the effects of the virus, i had half the thought to deliberately get myself infected (if i had already not been infected, as i had a bout of flu two weeks back) so that i can get lifelong immunity. 

heh heh...

"forgive"

i have decided to change my whatsapp status to "forgive".

i realised i had been harbouring a lot of hatred and angst towards some people at work, particularly my new hod. it was because of this hod that many people in my previous company, and myself, had suffered this demotion. and for me personally, to get a few emails trashing me unfairly and being used as an excuse to get to my previous boss. i need to move beyond taking things personal, much as it was personal from the way my current hod had told me - i have decided to demote you simply because this other person was my ex-colleague and our friendship went back a long way, and if you cannot accept it, i can understand if you choose to leave...  will just do my work quietly as i look around for a new job.

and by forgiving, i will be giving myself the chance to be happy again.

depression

i think i am suffering from depression.

and i said this after reflecting my behaviour over the last 3-4 months, and confirming it after googling and reading up more on depression symptoms. anti-social behaviour, lack of interest in things/ life, easily irritable, short-tempered, increased forgetfulness, substance abuse, engage in risky behaviours, decreased libido/ loss of interest in sex, etc... everything i read described me to the dot. and this realisation worries me for it had crept onto me without me even being aware of it. this was so unlike previous few occasions where i was able to control and manage myself and not allow it to spiral out of control. 

from my reflection, the consistent hits i get in my life in recent months is wearing my down and it is affecting me to the point where i am hurting my friends. and i think it started with the series of losses - starting from my mum's passing in november last year and then my dog in march this year. and this was followed quickly by the loss of my family, my niece and nephew, my maid, and then my being demoted as a result of the acquisition, potential loss of my job, the constant toxic work environment, bad health, back issues, failure to secure a new job, again and again, etc etc etc.... and it didn't do good that at work, we were literally told to just shut up and focus on our new areas of responsibilities. 

and over the last few months, i have gotten irritable, snapped at people, cut them off from my social circles, avoided some friends, kept to myself, lost interest in life, in people around me, la la la... for that matter, i had also decreased my blogging to the point of almost stopping it altogether. ok, ok... just one conclusion - depressed.

if this goes on, i'll go seek medical help.

playing mahjong

it's been a long long while since i played mahjong.

and i did so again on friday night after dinner. you see, i joined my colleagues for dinner friday and by the time we ended, it was about 10-ish. and since a few felt rather energetic and didn't want to go home, we decided to head to the house of one colleague to play mahjong. such a refreshing experience for me, considering i had not touched the mahjong set since more than a decade ago!

and as usual, i ended up losing. i've never had any luck when it came to gambling... heh heh. but yeah, it was fun. then again, the game was just an excuse to continue being together into the night. most of the time during the game, everyone was just bitching about their respective department office politics and how people are being "mistreated" by their new colleagues. and it was such an enlightening experience cos for the first time, i was exposed to the internal dynamics of some other departments. lots of angst and lots of tensions. 

and through these sharing, i learned a couple of things. and they include firstly, the negative effects of the integration are more pervasive than i had expected. and while it was interesting to learn of their respective department internal dynamics, it was even more interesting how they see and interpret developments within the company, and i must say, many a times, what they interpret were very accurate. secondly, such sharing allows people to vent. it releases their pent up tensions. and i could see the maturity of my colleagues such as how, despite their young age (most are in the late-20s, early-30s), many were able to draw their lines clearly between what's their personal opinion and how they should respond professionally. it reflected well on them.

however, sadly, i do also sense a the loss and helplessness for a couple of them. this was so because it is their first job or that they had just joined the company less than a year ago. and for these colleagues, they know that it would not do them any good to quit as it would affect their resume. they didn't want to come across as job hoppers, especially so in the current weak job market.

sighs....

bad office environment

this week passed quicker than i had expected. and this was, to a large part, because i had kept myself occupied and busy with some tasks at work. with things to do, time passed a little faster. this despite the fact that fundamentally, these are things that i do not think i am supposed to do, given my "decreased" scope of my job. nonetheless, i didn't bother to query further. in my current workplace, my attitude, and the same for almost everyone from my previous company, is to "don't ask too much and just do what we are told". any suggestions  would be interpreted as "being uncooperative, refusing to change (following the integration), and showing bad attitude". 

yup, it's been coming to 4 months following the physical integration of my company and another and the overall climate is still not too good. despite the cordial and co-operative stand that many of us show, there has been and continue to be, lots of internal angst given the treatment we get from the new colleagues. however, as far as the ceo is concerned, he continue to have the impression that we are happy and that staff from the other company have very low morale. he seemed to not have any feel of the ground despite the fact that he is located physically in the same office as us... 

anyway... we are already starting to see the intensity of people leaving the company pick up. august alone saw no fewer than 5-6 people resigning. let's see how this pan out in the coming months.

what a month it has been...

august 2016 has been a roller coaster month for singapore so far...  and this is totally unusual and unexpected. you see, singaporeans celebrate the annual national day in the month of august and usually, there will be lots of activities and events lined up. the month usually culminate with the prime minister giving his national day rally where he would use the occasion to share with the country his plans for the immediate future. the mood theoughout august, thus, were always cheery and celebratory. but this year, it was different.

this year, august started with the gloomy possibility of former president s r nathan's passing. he was warded into the icu on 31 july. and it was amidst this bad news that we commemorated the nation's 51st national day. well, of course, everyone was in a celebratory mood and this mood was given a further boost when schooling won an olympic gold - a first for the country. then came the lows... during the national day rally, the prime minister fell ill halfway through the rally and had to be helped off stage. it got everyone worried and anxious. the scene reminded everyone of the finance minister's brush with death when he suffered a stroke 3 months back. it would be disastrous if prime minister suffered the same. thankfully, he returned after almost an hour of rest. nothing much to worry about, its just heat exhaustion, overworked... whew! and just when everyone thought it was back to normal, former president s r nathan passed away. and the nation went into mourning. the state funeral will be held this friday. sighs... 

such a roller coaster month for the country.

2 more days mc

went back to work today after 2 days of mc and... i am back home with 2 more days of mc! 

you see, i went back in office this morning and for some reasons, my throat felt superbly ticklish. as a result, i coughed really bad, so much so that i sounded like i had an asthma attack - yup, the high shrilling sound that most asthmatic show when they get asthma attacks (for the record, i had a history of asthma, but have never had any attacks). my colleague was concerned and asked that i head home to rest. the cough didn't subside and by 10.15am, i started feeling rather uncomfortable. it was then that i decided to head to the clinic again. after the consultation, i was given a bagful of medication and another 2 days of mc to rest. 

i did observe one interesting thing - these days, doctors do ask if you want mc. i mean, how do i even respond right? this morning, the doctor asked me: so, are you working today? do you need to rest? errrr... i didn't know how to respond and for the moment, just looked at her blankly. my response after that was "erm... i work upstairs actually. and errr... what do you suggest?" i simply threw the ball back into her court. without thinking, she replied, "ok, i think you better take 2 days rest. drink at least 2 litres of water a day, and if your fever comes back and your phlegm turns reddish brown, you have to return again..." i didn't say anything further other than to thank her and left the clinic.

this is my first - 2 consecutive mc that comprised 2 days each. maybe its an age thing, i take longer to recover these days. whatever the case, its a good time to rest.

:-)

black shit...

this post will sound gross to some. and if you are irked by the topic of shit, don't read...

one of the things i learned after looking after my elderly mum was that i should always look at the colour and consistency of her shit after she clears her bowels. these could be tell tale signs of any internal issues or the need to adjust diet. for example, black excreta meant possible bleeding in the alimentary canal and that could be a major cause of concern... and over time, i also started to observe my own shit...

and today, i felt a very bad tummy ache all of a sudden and had to rush to the toilet. and before i could take my position comfortably, everything just shot out. thankfully, it wasn't messy as i was almost in position. whew... but when i looked at the shit, i got worried. it was as black as black could be. and for that split moment, i got really worried. did i have some internal bleeding or... and then i remembered, i had a whole box of blueberries the night before...

whew! what a relief!

hahah...

old uncle @ petrol kiosk

was on mc and went out to get lunch.

along the way, i decided to drop by the petrol kiosk to top up my petrol. i was in the queue to pay up and there was this cheerful 70-plus year old uncle cashier. he shouted out "thank you young man!" after the person in front of me paid up. this man looked in his early-40s. and for me, after i paid up, uncle shouted "thank you brother"!

wtf!

hahahaha...

on 2 days mc

i am on two days mc. started with a bad cough on friday that refused to go away and yesterday, came down with fever and sore throat. this morning, i woke up to block nose, then runny nose...

well, it's time to rest.

lantau peak - the descend

i was at the peak when it started raining. the droplets that fell felt different from the earlier rain. it was much bigger, and the force by which each drop fell felt stronger.  the few americans who were resting there hurried into the shelter. as for me, i decided to make my descend as it didn't feel like the rain was gonna stop anytime soon. i also did not feel comfortable squeezing into the small space with them. as i made my way down, it hit me that my journey would not be any less challenging than my ascend, albeit in a slightly different context. first, it was the rain, or rather, the thunderstorm. it poured cats and dogs and worsened the visibility that was already bad due to the fog. as a result of the downpour, much of the run-off flowed down the steps. and each step was very high (and steep), and as my thigh muscles had stiffened after the rest, it become quite a challenge to actually descend, step-by-step.

things were extra challenging because (1) my muscles had stiffened, (2) i was wearing walking shoes (not trekking shoes) which, by that time, had been totally soaked, (3) the downpour resulted in rainwater gushing down and turning the steps into a small rushing stream, (4) the visibility was poor, and worst of all (5), the steps were narrow, no more than 2-3 feet (about a meter) wide. a combination of all the points meant that the chance of slipping was great, and a fall would mean tumbling down the never-ending steps or if i fell out of the steps, a possible fall down the cliff. all these meant only one thing - fall = death, if not, at least a big time injury.

it was at this time that i started to ponder how the hell i got myself into this awkward and difficult position. i didn't and hadn't prepared myself mentally for this. i kept reminding myself i had to be focused, to be mindful and not allow my mind to wonder. it was one deliberate step at a time as i slowly made my way down. and as it was pouring, i was totally drenched and i started to shiver and the slowness in the descend did not help. after countless steps, things got a little better when downward slope got gentler and my mind wondered off for that moment, thinking and wondering if i would be able to actually get to ngong ping or whether the end-point was the end-point i had assumed it to be - civilisation where i could get a public bus back to tung chung. it would be totally disastrous if i had to do a u-turn, climb back to the peak and descend to the original start point just to get public transport!

it was during this momentary distraction that i slipped and fell. thankfully, i landed on my bum. i didn't suffer any injury despite a minor pull of my back muscles. i reminded myself i needed to get back to my concentration and after composing myself again, i continued my descend. and after many many countless steps, i reached a small clearing. it was then that i saw the tian tan buddha. the fog had somewhat lightened and i could decipher the vague outline of the huge buddha sitting on top of the hill some distance away. i felt so relieved i just stood there and clasped my palms together and said a short silent prayer. and then i continued again. it was perhaps another hour or so before i eventually saw a series of timbers erected in a certain pattern. ahhhh... this looked familiar. the end point was near... and in no time, the steps turned into nice cemented pavement. that was when i knew i had arrived at the ngong ping monastery.

all my worries dissipated that very moment and my mind turned towards the immediate need - to dry myself and get back to hotel. that was the tricky part cos i was totally drenched, my wallet, my monies, passport, every thing was totally wet. it was not too glam a sight but i ended up using the temple's toilet hand dryer to dry my stuff. i was so conscious about myself through the whole journey back cos i must have smelt like some rotten fish. heh... i ended my day sitting on my bed and using the hair dryer to dry my stuff...

was a good trip nonetheless. what was intended to be a long walk ended up a mini-adventure for me. it was fortunate that i didn't suffer any major issues/ accidents along the way. and now, thinking back, perhaps i might just make another trip to hong kong and trek other sections of the trail.

:-)

lantau peak - the ascend

i almost died climbing the lantau peak. and it was so unglam to have to crawl on all fours but that was what i did momentarily on the way up. i was just that shag! lol! i was in hong kong since thursday  and had decided to do my lantau trail walk on saturday as the weather was forecasted to be sunny and fine. it was unusual for me not to have any details before such trips but this time round, the only info i had was (1) the start point and (2) the end point (ngong ping), and that (3) the trail will lead me to the peak. section 3 ends at ngong ping and i could take a bus back to tung chung. from the limited reading i did, i decided to take section 3 of the lantau trail (that comprised a total of 12 sections). i had seen people walking up the hilly terrains when i took the lantau cable car previously and wanted to experience it. i had also assumed that what i saw was parts of section 3.

the weather was sunny when i arrived at the start of the trail. there was a lady singing karaoke (she had a portable karaoke set) at one of the pavilion at the side of the road. i thought was weird, considering this was in the middle of no where. but i simply ignored her. and after orientating myself to the directions, i started my walk. it seemed ok for a start but after about 5 minutes and when i realised the steps were not gonna to end anytime soon, i decided i should take things slow. my thighs had started aching and my previous mountain climbing experience told me that this ache will disappear after about half hour once my thighs warmed up. i couldn't be more wrong... the steps gave way to a nice gentle trail after about 10 minutes. it was a relieved to me as my thighs are started to burn.  

a short while later, it started drizzling. i was glad it did cos i was panting badly and my singlet was wet from my perspiration. i was conscious of the fact that i had not water-proofed my back pack but decided to just walk along. after all, the weather forecast mentioned it would be sunny and this could just be a passing showers. as i walked i came faced with more steep steps, and looking ahead, these steps seemed to lead upwards forever. omg, i thought, i didn't ask for this! i had merely wanted to come to hong kong to walk. but after having walked and climbed for the last half hour or so, i persevered. to manage my burning thigh muscles, i took more frequent rest stops. i was so totally shagged out it came to a point where i had to rest after just climbing a few steps. and at one stage, i was literally crawling on all fours! so totally unglam but thankfully, there were no one around. as i climbed, i chanced upon a couple of groups of climbers who were making their descend. one was a group of school children. they were  talking and laughing as they made their descend and quite a few wore ponchos. two of them were even holding umbrellas! looking at how gingerly they descended and how fresh they look, i concluded that the route from ngong ping was relatively easy and that i would not suffer so much when i descend later on. heh heh... there were also a couple of caucasians (americans i thought, judging from their accent) and they said something like they should learn the art of descending - and that was - to run down as fast as they could. when i heard that, my mind went - oh no, you don't want to do that... miss a step and the drop would be hundreds of meters downwards... 

the light drizzle worsened into heavy showers as i climbed. i knew my stuff in my backpack would be wet but i prayed hard the several layers would help prevent total drenching of the content. i was too tired and it was too wet for me to take out my passport, my wallet, etc. i simply pushed on. thankfully, the rain lightened and stopped just about 2/3 way up and that was when i decided to take a long rest and snapped some pictures. the scenery that presented to me once the clouds lifted was really beautiful. i could see a large part of lantau island. what was also interesting was that i was seated on a ridge-line and on the left, the view was clear. but on the right, things were getting rather cloudy and it looked like a huge white cloud was blowing upwards. soon enough, my whole view was obscured and i found myself totally immersed in fog.

i continued my climb up and the peak seemed so bloody elusive. my spirit lifted somewhat when two climbers coming down told me the peak was just a few steps ahead. i reached the peak half dead! i was totally exhausted. the peak was rather uninteresting and was no more than the size of a small bedroom. there was a signage that indicated the height of the peak. 934m above sea level. and other than that, there was a small shelter for climbers to take refuge in the event of thunderstorm or strong winds. other than that,  there was no scenery to appreciate as the whole mountain top was shrouded in fog and visibility was no more than 10-15m. when i arrived, there were a couple of americans. they had just arrived from ngong ping and were talking about all sorts of stuff, ranging from where they worked when they were in america, how they accepted the job in asia, yadda yadda, yadda. and at one point, they were commenting how boring singapore was, considering how flat the island was and that there was no mountains to climb, etc... i just sat there and listened quietly. they didn't know they had a singaporean there amongst them.

after resting for some 15min, it started raining and they decided to take refuge in the shelter. for me, i decided to make my descent towards ngong ping.

chibi marukochan - a boy from italy

i watched this show to kill time before i checked in to the hotel. i was not too familiar with the maruko-chan series but thought the poster looked interesting and went ahead to purchase the ticket. at the counter, the sales person told me it would be in cantonese instead of japanese. was kinda taken aback for a while but decided to proceed. thought it would be a change, considering how i usually watch japanese shows without any dubbing. it was interesting that the sales person specifically advised me that it would be in cantonese. perhaps she thought i was japanese! heh... well, if she did, i wouldn't be surprised as (1) i had spoken to her in English, (2) i am rather tanned compared to hong kong people, (3) my features are not typical of hong kong people, and (4) i was carrying a backpack (people don't carry backpacks to cinemas unless they are tourists)..

anyway, the show did not disappoint. the storyline was simple. a group of international students visited japan on a school exchange program and each child was "adopted" by a different family. for maruko's family, they accepted an italian boy despite initially being unwilling to do so. apparently, apart from this being a school exchange program, the italian boy had arrived with a bigger intent to trace and discover his grandfather's past. much of the show focused on how maruko and the family helped this boy looked for a particular couple who had interacted with the grandfather. it was a heartwarming show that ended with many in tears towards the end.

this show shone through by its simple storyline. yet it was able to connect with audiences at many levels of emotions. for me personally, i was caught grinning widely, and at times, tearing at the same time. thoroughly enjoyed it.

my hong kong trip

it was an interesting trip to hong kong this time round.

i had intended to do long distance brisk walks there and thought that perhaps a walk at the country side or a climb of some of the "hills" would be nice. i had previously seen people casually "walking" up the hilly terrains when i took the cable car to ngong ping from tung chung and had thought how nice it would be to do the same.

it was with this simple intent that i decided to head to hong kong. my plan was simple, keep the trip free to cater to potential weather changes. do part of the lantau trail either on friday or saturday, weather permitting. and with this, i packed and headed off to hong kong. here's the quick run down to what happened...

thursday, arrived late morning, headed to mongkok and caught the show "chibi maruko chan - a boy from italy". decided to watch a show to consume some time before check in at 2pm. decided on this show as it was a japanese animation and i loved japanese animations. too bad it was dubbed in cantonese but went ahead with it nonetheless. will write about it in another post. after the show, checked in, freshened up and visited the wong tai sin temple.

friday, weather forecast indicated passing showers and occasional thunderstorm. decided against the long walk and slept in most of the day. needed the sleep and the rest before the walk. went for some light shopping at the nearby shopping centers and wet market towards the end of the day. day ended with lotsa roasted meat, char siu and chicken wings! lol!

saturday, went for my walk at lantau island. and before the walk itself, found myself stuck in the shopping center at tung chung watching news updates about joseph schoolings 100m swim on my mobile. following that, went for the walk and completed it by late afternoon. the rest of the day was just spend resting.

sunday, this is my check out day. met up with my colleague (who's in hong kong with her friend) and headed for a dim sum lunch before visiting the chi lin temple. headed to the airport and was back home by 11pm.

was a tiring trip overall but i enjoyed it. look forward to doing more trails in future.

hong kong

i am off to hong kong...

back this sunday.

happy

this is a way belated post. but i was reminded of it when i saw it played at the shopping center earlier. and naturally, i started singing. such an uplifting song!

:-)

suicide squad

a lot of things went through my mind as i watched this show. and here're some of them...

• there are no bad people, there are just people who sees things differently and behave differently.

• every person has his/ her own stories. you just have to make the effort to listen to them and understand their side of the story.

• inside every person, and regardless of how bad they are, there are always something good.

• regardless of what shit we go through in life, there're people who had experienced worst. we just have to see things positively and learn to let go.

and on a less serious note:

• witches always do this weird contortionist dance movements when they cast big time ghost-buster-like spells. and for some similar phenomena, these spells always involve big lightning looking streaks of energy that destroys cars, buildings, space satellites, etc.

• witches are very clever people (if they are human in the first place). they can originate from deep antiquity but once they resurrect in modern times, they can understand things like machines, computers, etc...

ok, shall stop here. it's a nice and entertaining movie. and the best part of it was the inclusion of many 70s/80s hits. found myself singing along whenever the songs come on. go watch it. marvel series has not failed me. yet.

pm's visit to white house

it had been almost 30 years since any singaporean pm was invited to the white house for a state dinner. felt proud to see the details being looked into, the pomp, the organisation, etc.

such an honour.

funeral incidents

i attended my aunts' funeral yesterday. it was a christian funeral. the proceedings were a lot less rowdy compared to, say, taoists funerals. it was interesting that many of the relatives were elderlies who (i suspect) were taoist and/ or tend to be a lot more traditional in showing grief and the way they send of the deceased. and without sounding too disrespectful, here're some of the things that made me feel a little awkward, at times a little irritated, or for that matter, funny.

at the crematorium, a service was held before the cremation proper. and amidst the whole solemn and quiet ambience, 2 elderly uncles (who were seated) at the back, started to get impatient, and started to share their thoughts about the funeral. and, speaking in hokkien, they spoke about buying 4d using the car number of the hearse, about the proceedings...

we were all standing in the viewing gallery awaiting for the coffin to be wheeled into the furnace. it was rather solemn and sad and there were quiet sobs. if this were a taoist funeral, people (especially the elderly) would already be screaming and shouting. such gestures used to be taken as a reflection of how close the person was to the deceased, and in the case of children, a sign of filial piety. traditionally, people would also wish the deceased a good journey. but as i said, this was a christian funeral and the pastor had iterated many times that my aunt had returned to the kingdom of god, and that she was in the arms of the lord, etc. and so, there we were, waiting at the gallery quietly, solemnly and there were a few sniffs and sobs. and in the background, some soft music were playing. and soon, the coffin came in... by that time, one of the elderly uncle could not take it anymore and shouted out... "好走!" (have a safe journey). he words broke the silence and almost immediately, all the elderly aunties standing in front broke into wails... one of the elderly auntie even wailed until she almost fainted... 

it was an awkward feeling for me. i was caught between being emotional and feeling tickled. my cousins and their children, i believed, felt the same. 

explosion...

i was watching the rio olympics opening ceremony and for some reasons my mind lots of thoughts went through my mind. here're a few of them...

fireworks

o.. m.. g.. one day, they'll ban fireworks at such gatherings!

and my mind screamed this out when i looked at things objectively and thought - wow, looking at the fireworks, didn't anyone realised there was a whole lot (lots, lots and lots) of explosives embedded and placed all over the stadium. and it would be so terribly scary if the person sitting behind the controls were some crazy maniac or worst still, terrorists, that decide to just blow things up at the wrong time. 

am i just being paranoid?

here's another...

hmmm... the amount of monies being burned. these monies could have been put to better use to help the society (esp rio). 

it's utterly vulgar, right?

size...

the grandeur of the event, the scale, colours, patterns... 

every individuals are nothing but just little pawns, puppets, digits, etc. such are the games of "big" powers, politics... 

no?

ok, just some olympics rants.

death visits again... and again...

got news from my second cousin (our dads are cousins, i.e., we share the same great grandfather) that his mum passed away on monday. attended the wake last evening. funeral's gonna be tomorrow. and just an hour ago, a maternal-side cousin informed me that my mum's second elder brother had passed away...

to put in perspective, i have passed through the age where my peers get married, and another stage where many gave births... and at this time, this is the stage where our parents and their siblings are passing away, and our next generation are getting married. soon enough, it would be our turn to take our leave.

as of today, on my dad's side, two of his sisters (not including his cousins) are still alive. as for my mum's side, this is the last uncle. have not included their spouses, but even if i were to include them, there would not be many around too. well... just have to go through this stage and walk the journey with my cousins.

"ah hia"

"ah hia" mean "elder brother" in hokkien. it is a respectable term, a term that we would teach our kids to use when they address their elder male siblings. we would also use this term to address strangers, often older than us, and with whom we have to interact. but this morning, it sounded so wrong and so weird when a mature uncle, probably in his 50s, addressed me "ah hia". it only meant one thing - i am way way way over the hill!

hahah...

reviewing my insurance policies

i had some time to think through things given recent developments and decided to call my insurance agent to review some of my policies. i think it is high time to reprioritise some things. 

for a start, i want to reduce all the death-related benefits. previously, i had kept these as i wanted to make sure that if i should die before my parents, they would be taken care of. but now, given their demise, i would be able to rebalance my priorities to keep my quality of life when i am alive instead. put simply, my insurance policies should focus on allowing me to take care of myself and ensure i have a reasonable quality of life as i age. i don't have any children so i do not need to focus on death benefits to ensure the livelihood of people surviving me. there are none.

with this clarity of thought, my conversation with my agent became rather interesting. for the first time, i was able to quite objectively share the very foreseeable number of years that i think i still have and chart out some possible financial planning thoughts with her. i will likely die at 72 or latest by 75 years old, i said. i was almost too confident about it. and with me being 50 years old this year, planning for 20-25 years ahead seemed pretty easy.... by 55, no more liabilities, technically can retire (by which i mean, work for the joy of it and not for my financial liabilities), by 60, withdraw my pensioners'  benefits, by 65, downgrade to smaller house...  etc etc etc... and when i can divide my life into 5-year blocks, things became pretty straightforward. 

it seemed quite clear to me at this stage of my life, in a very positive way. of cos, the last thing i need to do is to draw up a will to state who/ which charity should benefit should i eventually pass on. i will do that another time. one step at a time.

developments at work

things at work seemed pretty mundane, in a bad way. the word i would use to describe the mood at work now is - uncomfortable disquiet - despite the frequent rowdy outburst of laughters and chatters, that, in my view, were very forced, false, superficial and unreal.

for me personally, i am just keeping a low profile. many things are happening and i have not been kept informed of them by my boss (the new person that i report to). i learn of the developments from third parties through my hearsay and interactions with people i used to work with previously. as for the department head who previously said wanted to keep me looped within the department management team, things were not to be. there was absolutely no communications between us and since the physical integration of both business entities 2 months back. we had not spoken more than 2 sentences. and for the few emails that were exchanged, they were all rather curt and, at times, abrasive. 

so i am now in the tell-me-what-to-do-and-i'll-do mode now. for that matter, that is the attitude for lots of my colleagues from the other departments. the new set-up that is headed by many from the other entity seemed to adopt the "if it's not told to you, don't be a smart alec and do things based on your initiative" approach. many who had offered their suggestions and thoughts when faced with issues, would be viewed as being defensive and uncooperative and ended up being told off. in the end, lots of people just kept quiet. it's actually quite sad to see this happening cos i had seen how much potential they had when we worked together previously. 

as of today, i am already starting to see people resigning. slowly and surely, i can expect the rate of resignations to pick up. i myself will move on once i get a new job.

maid leaving

the maid has informed my brother of her intention to leave this coming dec. this was 2 months earlier than what she had previously shared with me in confidence. and as for why dec, it was because she wanted to commemorate the first anniversary of my mum's passing before leaving. that's nice of her, i thought.

nonetheless, i wasn't surprise to hear this news from her as she's unhappy working with my brother. i understand that he would at times chide her for correcting my niece when she (my niece) did wrong and he would say things like "i am not like my brother, you work for me, you listen to me...". it's regretful when such things happen cos it meant his views about the maid was somewhat shaped by the fact that she had previously worked for me. he continued to see her as pro-me or worst, comparing him with me. but i know this maid, she is a person who would share her views quite openly and that is something that my brother cannot take. he sees such behaviour as insubordination and take them as personal attacks. and given his anger management issue, things would just turn ugly.

anyway, technically, the maid is still mine cos her name is still registered under my residence and i continue to pay her her salary. i understand that he had decided not to transfer her name to his residence (and becoming the rightful employer) because she had indicated she intend to return home by year end. 

maid visit

my maid visited me last weekend. she wanted to drop by to say hello and to see how i have been managing at home. so sweet of her right? it was also thoughtful of her to come with a packet of cashew nuts, knowing that i love cashew nuts. 

anyway, i was a little sad from her sharing. you see, since i stopped talking to my brother 3-4 months back, i had dropped by his place and placed the letters for the maid at their door. and she told me that my brother had chided her for it (doh!) and asked her to relay the message to me that he didn't like me being near his residence and that he wants me to stop dropping things at his doorstep. moving ahead, the maid will come to my house to collect mails, if any, during her off days.

as for my niece and nephew, they have constantly been asking for me but my brother would scold him when they do so. he would also add that if they want to see me, they should leave the house. wtf, saying such things to a 5 and 3 year old kid! and to top it off, he would tell them that i didn't like them and have abandoned them. my niece has learned to not talk about me in front of him although she still asks for me (to my maid). as for my nephew, he would ask the maid if she would be visiting me and if she could bring him along... made me feel sad to learn of this.

as for the house, i learned that he intends to sell his current house and take over my parent's house legally (the one that i refused to take over). but instead of moving into the house, he intend to rent it out illegally whilst he rent another place to stay. the reasons, i understand from the maid, is that he wanted to earn the rental and, at the same time, avoid the neighbours, whom he could not get along with. she told me he intended to move in only when the kids grew up cos by that time, all the neighbours would have died and he need not see them anymore. what a warp reason... notwithstanding the fact that it would be illegal to rent out the house in full. he also told her that he will not give his new address nor contact number to anyone (of us, his siblings) nor close family friends (including the ones that had been going to his place regularly to take care and teach his kids) cos he considers all of us bad people.

well it's his life and i do not want to partake in any of it. i can only say that this is the same trend that i have observe in his whole life. cutting people off and accusing people of being bad while the root cause of the problem was he himself. but well, that's for him to manage. 

walking... more walking

i suffered a bad back on 4 jul, and to manage the pain, i resorted to walking (and at times jogging) an average of about 14,000 - 15,000 steps per day. the pain significantly reduced when i walked. but after the exercise, and when my body had rested, i will have problems transitioning between standing and sitting, and between sitting and lying down. the aches and pains at the lower back and hips would be so bad i'd simply revert back to my previous position. the only thing that kept me going was the thought that these exercises will force my back and hip joints to move and in doing so, will strengthen the muscles over time. so far, it seemed to work. the backache seemed to have lessen progressively over the course of the last 3-4 weeks. 

as of today, i am able to lie down, sit, stand and bend forward slightly without only slight aches and pains at my back and hips that last no more than 10-15 seconds. so, its almost back to normal for me as it stands. and the silver lining of the whole back sprain and exercising is that it also helped me slim down, not to mentioned, i got to be treated by the other superbly cute chiropractor as my regular had to travel for business. i intend to keep this walking routine going ahead. it's low impact (compared to jogging) and the strain on my knees are not as bad. and let's see how things go, i just might take up swimming again.

star trek beyond

watched the movie over the weekend. found it extra meaningful given the deliberate attempts to make connections back to the original cast. very appropriate given that it coincided with the 50th anniversary of star trek. i particularly liked the small details such as spock holding a photo of the original cast as he made reference to the passing of leonard nemoy (who played the original spock), and how they honoured george takei, the original actor who played hikaru sulu (su) by making the character gay. nice!

of fuck buddies & sugar daddies

bromance, fuck buddies, sex partners, partners, boyfriend, friends with benefits, acquaintances, mr right, mr almost right, mr right now, sugar daddy/ son, godfather/ son, etc etc etc...

all the terms that can be used to describe the relationship between two persons. but whichever term one uses, one must make sure the opposite party knows exactly what one means. otherwise, it will be very confusing. and it didn't do good for the fact that many are careless with their choice of words these days, deliberately or otherwise. and i came to this conclusion after i see these terms being used (rather frivolously) in the social media and apps such as grindr, jack'd, etc. it is very regretful and i see this trending especially amongst singaporeans aged early-30s and below. the following are just examples of what i mean:

example 1:

someone in grindr: you stay alone?

me: yes, on weekdays. on weekends, my partner stays over.

someone in grindr: oh, i thought you are into bromance...

huh? how do i even respond to such a reply. what has "bromance" got to do with staying alone? and what has "bromance" got to do with this conversation thread. it looked like we were on different frequencies altogether. i suspect there was a disconnect somewhere. and after a long silence on my part, i got a reply that sounded like that...

someone in grindr: i thought you wanted to play me.

double huh! i thought you initiated this conversation? and since when i even talked about playing, much less "you"!? hmmm, weren't there just too much assumptions on your part?

me: well no, i am in here purely because i was curious who's gay around me and to chat/ befriend if there is one whom i can connect.

anyway... ok, here's another example.

example 2:

someone in the grindr: seek?

me: friend to chat, you?

someone in the grindr: sugar daddy

me: erm, please explain.

someone in grindr: haha... don't know how to la...

me: ok, do you mean someone to buy you stuff and pamper you, in exchange for sexual favors? or do you mean someone mature whom you can look up to as a role model, for guidance, for support (not just materially).

someone in the grindr: errrrrrr... think it's the second meaning...

hmmm... what a world of difference right? if it is the first, then this person would be no different from that of a term-rent boy and/ or selling his sexual services aka prostitution? and if this is the case, i will not have any good impression of him cos it simply meant he is materialistic, and has no backbones. anyway, in this day and age, the possibility of misunderstanding someone is really high, considering the amount of things that are left unsaid when one uses the social media/ sms/ whatsapp/ line/ wechat/ etc to communicate. and this is made worst by frivolous use of words. and when i experience such people in such apps, i do often end up sounding very unfriendly. 

macritchie reservoir

have done my walks around the macritchie reservoir over the weekends and there were a few things i noted that i felt were not right...

• people throwing rubbish on the forest floor. i saw tissue paper, mosquito repellent patch covers, plastic bags, food containers, etc. thankfully there were no many, although every piece of rubbish is a piece too many.

• parents pulling out canisters of mosquito repellant and spraying their kids all over so much so that the whole forest trail smelled of the insect repellent for tens of meters after they walk.

• people pasting mosquito repellent patches all over their body and didn't pick them up after the patches drop as they walked.

• people talking loudly, like as though they were in the market. and the people guilty of this are aunties, foreigners (prcs [there're just loads of them!], french, americans, etc).

• people walking with their radio at full blast. and i have heard english, chinese, tamil, etc songs as i walked. 

• parents walking their toddlers on strollers and carrying babies in their arms! wtf! all things being equal, i think there should be some basic safety considerations for the kids.

• people walking in the forest with umbrellas! 'nuf said. doh!

• people feeding wild lives, especially macaques! these macaques feed off the forest trees and fruits and play and important role in dispersing the seeds. by feeding them, they get spoilt and will learn to rely on humans for food. long term damage to the forest ecosystem!

• and many more...

the following are what i thought one should do while walking through the forest...

• appreciate the coolness of the internal micro-environment. frequently, one can actually experience a cold gust of breeze. it's very refreshing!

• enjoy the sounds of nature. you get sounds of birds, cicadas, crickets, all sorts of insects or for the matter, just trees swaying in the breeze. it's really therapeutic.

• being at peace with nature. to simply savour what nature provides - the coolness, the heat, the rain etc.

• savour the occasional encounters with wild animals, insects and what have yous... macaques, butterflies, birds, monitor lizards, etc.

• and while you are at it, enjoy the occasional nice lean bods that run pass you...

temple visits

visited a few temples over the last few days. first, it was the 四马路观音庙 (wateloo street guan yin temple), then it was the 光明山普觉禅诗 (bright hill buddhist temple, and finally the 城隍庙 (arumugam road cheng huang temple). went to the last one twice.

all these temples are special to me, especially the last two. and for reasons unknown, when i knelt down at the bright hill temple, i felt so overwhelmed my tears just flowed. perhaps i had felt stressed and cornered in recent times. but it felt really good to just let the tears flow.

anyway, the last few days of mc had been very restful and it allowed me to just blank off. i do not look forward to going back to work and i do not feel a sense of connection with my work anymore. but it is something i will need to continue to do as i continue to hunt for jobs. it's not a good idea to resign without a job although many a times, i really felt like doing so.

hard on...

i've been having lotsa very weird dreams lately, many of which i cannot recall when i wake up. but there was this one particular dream that i remembered - it was about someone who showed me his hard on... ok, other details i cannot recall. it was kinda weird, cos in the dream, there was this faceless person, and he was wearing a pair of purple trunks. and for some reasons (that i cannot recall), the trunks was pulled down and the person showed me his hard on. that was all i remembered of the dream. hmmm... haha...

and yes, i have been able to sleep very well lately. and i think this was because i do not have any major responsibilities at work now and with this development, all stress disappeared.

donating my back massager

i donated my back spinal support cushion to the elderly rehab center this morning - the one that my late mum attended. decided that the elderly patients there would benefit it more than myself. the last time i visited them was to make a donation in memory of my mum the week after my mum's funeral. it had been almost 8 months and the rawness of her demise was no longer there. every one at the center recognised me and greeted me happily, as they accepted this massager gratefully. felt good to be able to interact with them, although it was for that short moment.

precious mineral water

a small bottle of chilled mineral water may mean nothing to many of us. but to someone who earned little and had to save every cent to send back to his family, such a bottle of mineral water would be a luxury. and it was with this thought that i decided i would get a bangladeshi worker a bottle yesterday to cheer him up.

you see, i had gone to the coffee shop to buy lunch after my cardio appointment yesterday. and after i parked my car, i made my way down the stairs and i came across this bangladeshi labourer sitting on the floor and patching a crack on the wall by the stairwell door. he was so engrossed in patching the crack that he didn't see me approaching. and when i uttered "excuse me", he looked up, a little shock, quickly opened the stairwell door for me and apologised to me for blocking my way. i simply smiled at him, thanked him and proceeded to the coffee shop downstairs. i have always felt thankful to these workers for doing all these little things. things that didn't seemed important, but when put together, made a huge difference to our quality of life.

i decided i should get the bottle of chilled water for him. it felt right, it was a warm day and a chilled bottle of water would be just nice. he was totally surprised when i passed it to him and he accepted it with a broad smile. as i drove off, he stood up and waved goodbye to me, his face grinning broadly, his set of white teeth against his dark complexion was such a huge contrast. his broad smile made my day.

:-)

peeing blood

since the eswl procedure, i had been peeing blood and stone fragments. the kidney (that had been zapped) continued to feel achy. i am currently on antibiotics and given till the end of the week to rest. frankly, i was torn between resting (which, to me, meant lying in bed) and walking. the former is to help the healing of the kidney and the latter is to help manage my back sprain/ ache. in the end, i decided to walk (within my comfort level) and lie down when at home. listen to the body, i told myself. be careful with food intake, balance between resting and exercising and drink lots of water.

walk, walk, walk

ever since i twisted my back last tuesday, i had been doing lots of walking. along east coast, around macritchie reservoir, etc. in fact, my average steps per day increased from about 8-9000 per day to more than 14,000. it was something i needed to do in order to manage the back muscle spasm and it has been a week of good walking. and yesterday, i managed to clock 30,000 steps (equivalent of a half-marathon distance - 21.1km). i had not planned for it other than deciding to take a bus to somewhere faraway for dinner and walk home from there.

(for the record, my journey home started from geylang serai, through haig road, katong shopping center, chinese swimming club, parkway parade, along the whole stretch of east coast park by the beach - starting from parkway parade to nsrcc near changi airport, tanah merah golf course, cross ecp, around changi business park, around sutd, before reaching home... lotsa deep breathing, at times half-meditating, enjoying the moment mindfully and at times singing as i walked, just enjoying the sea breeze)

heart's confirmed ok

i went for my final review with the cardiologist yesterday and was given a clean bill of health (for the heart). all's good to go and there's no requirement to return. but if at any one time, you feel the tightening of your chest again and cannot breath, please call the ambulance ok? the doctor said. 

and with this, i was discharged.

eswl - kidney stones

i went for the eswl procedure to remove the kidney stones 2 days ago.

to recap, 2 kidneys stones were found in my right kidney after i underwent the ct scan last month and i agreed to the doctor's suggestion to have them removed. and to manage my fear of the pain (as experienced in my previous eswl procedure) and hopefully to allow me a better eswl experience this time round, the doctor told me he would administer painkillers before the procedure. and so, with this assurance, i agreed to proceed with it.

time passed fast and i soon found myself walking into the ward for the procedure 2 days ago. everything was smoothly done - registration, admission, allocation of the bed, inserting the plug (ouch!), administering the painkiller, etc. and before i knew it, i was wheeled into the room where the dreaded machine was located (in the radiology department). the radiographer and a doctor (i think) was on site to locate the stone and that was when i was told - mr sim, one of the stone had moved. it is now about 2 (spinal) disc space down into the ureter. the other is still in the kidney. this didn't sound good to me. wtf. does it mean i will have to be zapped twice? i asked.  yes, the doctor said. we will try to break the one in the ureter first and see if we can go for the one in the kidney after that. it will not make sense to target the one in the kidney first cos the fragments will be blocked by the one in the ureter. we'll see how, you might have to come back a second time for the one located in the kidney if the one in the ureter takes a longer time than expected... 

my mind didn't register anything after this last sentence. wtf, wtf, wtf... have to come back again!? it would be nightmare all over again. and this was certainly not what i had bargained for, i thought. in my mind, the excruciating painful experience came back and it dreaded me to have to do this all over again. arghhh... anyway, a staff came in and plugged me to a machine (containing the sedative) and i was given the control to administer the sedative. press it if you cannot stand the pain, she said and left. and the procedure started soon. the all-so-familiar snapping sound of rubber band followed by the piercing sensation on my skin started. i winced at the first snap but got used to it quickly. for some reasons, this time round, the pain that swell inside the body did not occur. the snapping and zapping continued for about 20min and i was still waiting for the excruciating pain to start when the machine stopped. we have cleared the one in the ureter, the radiographer said, much to my pleasant surprise. we'll go for the one in the kidney now... 

before long, and after readjusting the machine, the zapping started again... and whooooooohhh, the whole sensation of pain that swell from inside the body started about 5 minutes into the procedure. i began to have cold sweat and i started wincing. when i finally decided i could not take the pain any further, i pressed onto the control. sedative, sedative, my mind went. whether it was administered or not, i didn't know. all i knew was that i was going through hell, and my eyes kept looking at the timer that was ticking. a minute later, i pressed onto the sedative control again. and again. and again... i didn't care if there was a timer that controlled the administration of the sedative, all i wanted was to relieve myself of the pain. the 5-10minutes seemed to last forever before the pain began to subside. i was sweating profusely by then. 

i was totally spend when the procedure ended and i was wheeled back to the ward. i was given a jug of water. you need to drink as much as you can and pee, before we can discharge you, the nurse said. obediently, i down everything and before long, i needed to pee. i made my way to the toilet and i was half afraid to see what i peed out. the last time i did the eswl, it was pure thick blood that came out and i almost freaked out. i looked up when i felt the piss coming out and it was after a split second before i looked into the toilet bowl. this time round, it was bloodied urine that i discharged and not pure blood. hmmm... and certainly, i felt a wee bit of sandy sensation as i peed. yup, that must be the broken fragments of the stones, i told myself.

i was discharged soon and given hospitalisation leave till the end of the week. i am now resting at home and i have been drinking like a buffalo for the last 2 days. certainly felt good to be rid of kidney stones. the review will be in mid-sep. hopefully, i'll be given an all clear and there's no requirement to head back again.

alice through the looking glass

watched this show over the weekend and despite some negative reviews, i actually thought it was rather nice and entertaining. such beautiful colours and make ups (although frankly, i was a little overwhelmed by johnny depp's face). the show had so many twists and turns, made especially so with the whole concept of time travel, that it made it the show very fun and exciting to watch. it was certainly a treat to be able to watch the young (and younger) characters of the show as alice made her way back in time, again and again. and yes, one thing came across clearly - that whatever you do, you can never change the past... well, at least that was the case for alice. shan't write further, go watch. and don't fall asleep. you need to be fully awake to follow the show.

:-)

repricing

time flies. my 2-year lock in period for my home loan is almost up and it is time to do a repricing. have asked for a quote. and i have also made a partial pre-payment to bring down the loan amount. in the current volatile market, it made sense to commit cash to clear some outstanding loan instead of investing them. avoiding interest payments is, in a way, the same as investments and certainly less stressful than committing them into investments. 

aim to clear my home loan liability by the time i hit 55 years old, if not earlier.

disappointment?

been 3 weeks since the interview with the top person of the mnc and just when i thought a job offer's gonna come, the headhuner called. we are so sorry... everyone is pushing for you, but the big boss has asked to look for someone local (from his country). so, please give them a little more time to try to convince the big boss. and when i asked for the reasons why the sudden change in mind, the headhunter couldn't answer. but i was assured tbat it was not becos of me. hmmm...

frankly, after being turned down by 3 big companies previously, i have learned to calibrate my expectations. so for this one, it looked like i have to wait a little longer. and as my ex-boss shared, this probably gave me an insight into the decision-making process of the company - just as i had been pre-empted by my friends before.

but well, i am not gonna let this hold me up. will continue to look for and apply other jobs. 

craziness

so many unthinkable things happened in the recent few weeks. so much so that i think the world is going crazy... here's just a few of them (not in chronological order):

• gorilla got killed after "playing" with kid in the states. damned the parents who didn't keep a close watch on the child. they should be the ones to be blamed in the first place. poor gorilla. 

• newly-appointed president encouraging killing of (alleged) drug pushers in philippines. and the latest i read was that it is getting out of control. wtf.

• politicians who championed "exit" but resigned almost immediately after brexit in uk. it's no different to stirring shit and run away (and yeah, i even read about trump entertaining the idea of not taking up the post if, a big if, he wins the election).

• child drowned after being dragged into water by crocodile in orlando. sad case. but once again, why did the parents allow the child to enter the water in the evening in the first place. very sad case.

• mother (and boyfriend) tortured 2-year old son to death in singapore. incomprehensible. reading about the things they did to the child made me feel so totally sick in the stomach.

• (closeted gay) man stormed and kill 49 and injured 53 in orlando. too many theories about why the man did what he did, but certainly, this is really outrageous.

• ailing king underwent op to drain water off his brain in bangkok. poor king has been sick for quite a few years. do really pray that he can recover. he is an old person and i dread the day i will have to say goodbye to him (even though he is not my king). he is one elder that many in the region deeply respects, not just in thailand.

• black sniper sniped 5 white policemen in the states. wtf, right?

• terrorist throwing grenades in kuala lumpur. first case of is-motivated attack in malaysia. too close to home.

• bombings at sacred sites in the holy land. so much for branding themselves are jihadists, fighting for islam. these are terrorists/ murderers who know no respects for islam. 

• crazy president launching missiles in prk. he is obese. he is insecure. he models himself after his grandfather. he removes and kills people whom he feels is in his way. crazy alright.

• son raped biological mother in singapore. what????!!! he's no different from an animal!

• father raped step-daughter in singapore. what what???!!! another person who's no different from an animal.

• white policeman kill black in dallas. too many of such incidents. someone need to stop this. 

• violent clashes in france. football mania? overzealous fans? to me, it is just pure hooliganism. period.

• bank robbery in singapore. a first after 2 decades. and to think the caucasian suspect only got away with $30,000. he must be crazy not to take more! heh... 

• train bombing in taipei. for some reasons, people like to bomb trains... well in singapore, news about trains have never about such incidents. think our security has been tight so far. here, to get trains into the headlines, no one need to do anything, the trains breakdown by itself.

• brexit. the name itself is crazy enough.

and these are just some of the headlines over the last month.

crazy right?

flu-???

i had a back sprain yesterday and visited the clinic. during registration, the counter assistant asked if i was allergic to any medication, to which i answered "fluvoxamine". instantly, she asked again "what?" and i repeated it... minutes later, my number was called and i entered the consultation room. the doctor greeted me and the first question he asked, looking a little confused, was: how come you are allergic to flu vaccines?

haha...

the legend of tarzan

it's actually quite funny to watch tarzan and jane dance and have sex. haha... i am still giggling in my head as i type this. you see, as a practice, i would post the trailers of movies i've watched in this blog and it was no different this time round. but when i cheekily googled for "naked tarzan", quite a few links appeared. there were bollywood versions where tarzan and jane sang hindi songs, danced around trees (what else right?) and frolicked by the beach - the indian jane wearing bright red flowing gown (!!!) while the tarzan donned his loin cloths! haha... and of course, there were porn versions and yours truly here decided to check them out too. and as to be expected, there were lots of sex scenes. but what tickled me most was the scene the depicted tarzan saving jane, who had apparently gone unconscious from a fall, and how he sniffed and explored her body. very animalistic (as to be expected) and very funny, to a large part, due to the stiff (no pun intended) acting. then again, almost all porn actors cannot act. and of cos, as in all porn, the porn-tarzan was superbly well-endowed and the porn-jane was such a cock-hungry person ("slut" would be a better word although it sounded downright crude)... ok, i am drifting away from my post.

well, i watched the show on friday night. it was indeed an entertaining show. the lead actor who played tarzan, alexander skarsgårdand, played the role very well. and the storyline stuck quite close to that as depicted by edgar rice burroughs, at least for the early years of tarzan. overall, i enjoyed the show and how it depicted tartan's relationship with the people of congo as well as the jungle and its inhabitants and, more specifically, his ape brothers. thought the cgi effects were rather well done too. as for the brick backs, there were many but hey, let's not dwell too much on these. it's a show and is meant to entertain right? and oh, since i spoke about how well endowed the porn tarzan was, in comparison, the tarzan in the show seemed rather... erm... emasculated. he was obviously freeballing but there was just simply no faint sign of any bulge down there. darned, my gay-side talking again. haha... ok, that'll be another discussion altogether. 

ps: porn-tarzan and porn-jane sounded almost thai... haha