good start

if anything, i think things will be ok for us. the maid seemed to have fitted in ok and based on my observation of her, she seemed to be of good character. 

the reasons why i said she is of good character, apart from her very mild, prim and proper behavior and conduct, was the fact that she observes her religious practices, and makes efforts to cultivate herself. these are indicators of a person of good values and character. some of the indicators that suggest this were for example, she does her prayers before she retires at night and when i brought her (and mum) to the temple, i could see how she composed herself and respects the buddha in the most serious and sincere manner. it is easy to make an accurate judgment of a person's character just by observing how he/ she conducts himself/ herself in front of a figure that towers over him/ her spiritually (i hesitate using the word "god" for the buddha is not one, and similarly, i do not use the word worship when it comes to the buddha).

interestingly, mum brought back some flowers from the temple and i asked her to place the flowers in a basin of water to let mum wash her (mum's) face. many buddhists observe this simple ritual as a way to cleanse themselves of their sins and to signify the receiving of blessings from the buddha. and after mum washed her face, my maid asked if she should discard the remaining water. i told her that she should also wash her own face and was surprised by her reaction. her faced brightened instantly and she exclaimed in almost disbelief "i can? thank you sir! thank you sir!" i am not sure why her response was such but guessed that in her culture, such gestures are deemed honorific and are probably only accorded to family members or close friends (but not a maid). so…

anyway, she has been only with us for two days. things seemed ok so far. and well, character is different from quality of work. but that, to me, is less of an issue. we can easily train a person's quality of work but not the character. other than that, i am also conscious of the mum-factor. hopefully, her paranoia and other mental issues do not get in the way. i am not sure how the dynamics will work out when it happens. 

but let's just hope for the best.

bang!

i brought mum and the maid out for dinner this evening. we were at the traffic light chatting away and waiting for the traffic light to turn green when… bang!!! a car rammed into mine from the rear. and the impact was so huge that everyone in the car lunged forward. mum got a rude shock and for a long while after that kept talking about it. as for the maid, she was similarly shocked but recovered much more quickly. thankfully, she was in the car to calm mum down as i went out to settle the issue.

it was a young lady that banged into my car. she walked out of her car totally dazed. i found out that it was the first time she had an accident and she had no clue whatsoever about what to do, what kinda info to collect etc… all she could say was i am so sorry i am so sorry, it was my fault i could't stop in time… and i had to take her through the whole process in the drizzle. 

her car was a mess. her bonnet was bend and steam was coming out of the radiator. and her air con stopped working and her car ramped into my bumper so hard that the car number got imprinted onto my bumper! as for my car, my boot was slightly dented and my bumper was scratched. from my initial glance, my car seemed to have suffered little damage. but i was sure the total repair cost would be costly cos looking at how the boot was dented and how the bumper had dislodged, some major knocking would be needed, or worst still, a total replacement of the boot. not to mention, the need to repaint at least the rear third of the car.

anyway, the inexperience of the lady came through when i suggested to her to let the insurance settle the issue. despite the total wretch her car was, she said… oh, can i check with my mechanic first and see if i want to settle this outside insurance. i was like… ooo… i really don't think you wanna do that… your damage looks like it will cost you quite a sum of money. i was sure it will cost her minimally 8-10k cos i had an almost identical experience with similar extend of damages to my car almost 12 years back. and back then, my car repair cost came up to 6.8k!

so… haiz… looks like i'm gonna need a time-break to repair my car next week… all the hassles. and oh yes, if i am not wrong, my insurance would allow me a replacement car during the repair period! let's see how things go… the silver lining out of this whole accident was that no one was injured. 

whew!

:-)

maid arrived

i finally picked up the maid at 6-ish earlier on.

she was a little serious when she first saw me. immediately, she stood up and greeted me "good evening sir!" and following that, she stood at attention as i signed the papers. i had to ask her to sit down before she did so, and even then, in a very prim and proper manner.

well, she was kinda tensed i must say. but soon enough, she kinda warmed up to us and relaxed a little. mum was kinda ticklish and giggled quite a bit when she saw how the maid reacted. after we settled her into the room, we went out for dinner. again, she was kinda shy and didn't eat much of the chicken on the plate. i had to serve her and mum kept asking her to eat. and mum, in her usual self, asked for durians and buah duku langsat after dinner… and again, the maid was kinda surprised by all the food we bought and the stuff we got for her.

it was kinda weird for me also cos throughout the evening, i didn't have to push the wheelchair (as i always did) and instead, walked ahead of mum and the maid. and when we came home, the maid went straight to the laundry room to wash the clothes… and there i was, feeling lost - not much different from feeling like a "maid" who has lost my job to another maid. told that to lp and she accurately portrayed it as me losing my job to a "foreign talent". hahah!

well, for the record, it's as much interesting for us to get used to the new maid as it is for her to get use to us. but we shall see. if anything, i think it will work out well… 

:-)

diabetes

mum went for her medical review and after telling the doctor about her frequent complains of thirst, he decided to do a blood test for her… and guess what - from the results, he concluded she has diabetes! mum was a little shaken by the news for she had been very careful with her diet.

the doctor explained that it is not unusual for elderly people like her, whose family has a record of diabetes, to get it. and it is not totally due to her diet per se. he said that for her, who's already 81 years of age, it cannot come across as surprising if her organs start to show signs of stress or malfunction. and in this case, her pancreas.

so, yup, more medication for her. and instead of the 6-monthly review, he now asked that she visits him again in 2 months. to check how she is reacting to the new medication and whether her blood sugar is controlled.

haiz…

maid arriving

am expecting the maid to arrive today but so far, i have not spoken with the agent on the details of where and when to pick her up! amazing right? the agent must think i am such an unexcitable person and have not called him to check on details! heh heh...

well, am on leave today to bring mum for her medical review this afternoon. and as usual, have asked her to go for half a day of rehabilitation at the center. have told her i will be working in the morning. needed to tell her this lie as i need the time to change my car tyre and prepare for the maid's arrival like purchasing a cabinet and a pillow for the maid first before heading to the hospital for the medical review. didn't want mum to get suspicious or worried and get in the way while i do all these errands.

hope things turn out smoothly without any hassle.

:-)

peaceful birthday

i had a peaceful quiet birthday this year.

a day before the day, i decided to remove my birthday in my facebook. didn't want anyone to make a fuss out of it. and everything went just as planned. not many wished me, a couple of friends here and there, my siblings, and that was it. nice, quiet day but admittedly, with some little curiosity as to who will wish me, or what's gonna happen… etc. 

my day started very early as i had lots to do and was pleasantly surprised when the first colleague i met at the door wished my happy birthday. but my little anxieties was very quickly forgotten once the day started for i was superbly busy through the day with my work. a day where i had to co-ordinate town halls, prepare slides, co-ordinate a visit for my ceo, yadda yadda yadda… so, it was a day of non-stop rushing from point-to-point, getting all sorts of stuff done etc…

it was until about 4.30pm before i finally walked to my desk, fully drained and fully flustered and dead beat. i took a quick breather and started up my computer. logged into my email and started some work. and before long, my chief called out to "the birthday boy" to cut the cake… yup, my department got a cake for me. the usual kinda stuff that i always do for my department… heh heh, they remembered me, i thought. and when i walked into the pantry, i was surprised to actually see a small cake with a lot of candles on it. eleven of them to be exact, four big ones and seven small ones, to represent my 47th birthday. it was a simple celebration, but well appreciated.

i brought mum out for dinner as per usual, but decided to buy a good dinner for both of us. i joked with her that we should splurge a bit before the maid comes… haha… and the evening ended with bee buying me a slice of durian ice cream cake and a gift.

simple day with memorable moments. meaningful.

:-)

spongebob @ t3

i brought mum to the airport for dinner earlier on.

and after dinner, we walked around the different levels. the departure hall had been fully decorated with lots of christmas decorations and this year's theme is spongebob squarepants. and although i had brought mum there a couple of times over the last month, it was the first time i tried to explain what spongebob is to her. and it was really funny.

there i was, trying to tell her how this yellow sponge called spongebob lives in the sea with his friends and how (for reasons beyond logic) lives in a pineapple. but for mum, despite seeing the decor for the umpteenth time, she still exclaimed "waaaa… ong lye ann nee tua!" (wow! the pineapple is so big)

lol!

presbyopia

my presbyopia is worsening by leaps and bounds. and it has deteriorated so much over the past 2-3 months that now i have problems reading newspapers if i wear my normal specs. and for that matter, it takes me a couple of split second to refocus things when i shift my focus from one object to another. i have never experienced this before. then again, am not alarmed by it. it's a matter of time. come to think of it, i will be 47 in 2 days, and to only experience "full-blown" presbyopia at 47 is really a blessing cos many of my friends started wearing progressive lenses when they were in their early 40s.

:-)

snowstorm

i am gonna conduct a 1-day program tomorrow.

and guess what? my staff, who is supposed to get back home tonight from her holiday, called up and tell me she is stuck in a snowstorm in china and will not be able to get back. the earliest i can expect to see her in office is tuesday. aiyoh… i will have to slog it out lo. all the setting up, administration, etc etc etc. and with my still-yet-to-fully-recovered throat, i think it'll be a challenging start to the week for me! but hey, it makes things fun right?

arghhhh!

haha!

mean vs end

i was at the airport earlier on and as per all weekends, there were loads of families and children. i regretted the moment i stepped in but i had no choice cos it was raining and there was hardly any other place nearby where i could get sheltered parking as i had to wheel mum.

anyway, it was after dinner and i wheeled mum around the place. there was a playground at basement 2 and as i walked through it, i heard a lady on the phone. from her tone of voice, the conversation that followed and a few subsequent chance encounters, i was able to piece together this story. the family had gone to t3 with the kids, all three of them. and somehow, the husband went to the departure hall (perhaps to the spongebob play area). along the way, the wife lost her husband and ended up with the kids at the kids playground in basement 2. and she got freaking angry. she called the husband, screamed at top of voice and demanded to know what the hell he was doing at the departure level (my guess was that she had not come to the airport for a while and didn't know about the spongebob play area). soon enough, she hung up the phone and decided to walk around basement 2. and she asked if the daughter wanted to go to the toilet, the daughter said no. but after walking a few steps, the daughter changed her mind. that did it for the mum. she burst. she scolded the girl. and as she did so, she started scolding the other 2 kids too. the young son, who didn't understand wtf happened, started throwing tantrums and threw his things onto the ground. and everyone carried a black face… it was not a good sight.

and interestingly, that was not the only depressing sight for i saw quite a few similar families behaving like that too. people screaming at each other. kids screaming and crying. arghhhh! for goodness sake, its the weekend! and i thought to myself. what's the point right? having a family outing to the airport, i assumed, was in the spirit of happiness and fun. and to allow such little things sour the whole trip seemed a little regretful. no? in the case above, why not turned the father go "missing" situation into a hide and seek or search for the missing dad adventure for the kids? need to be less pent up and more creative la. daddy is still contactable over the phone right? relax la! haiyah...

it seemed like for these families, going to the airport had become an end to itself and not a mean to spend meaningful time together… sad right?

sighs.

ugly selfies

didn't mean to sound mean, but it's disturbing to see a really ugly guy put on a really ugly spectacle frame (that's the trend now, people wearing speak frames). and in the middle of the crowded airport, he started acting-cute, and made quite a few "ooo-i-look-so-cute" face as he took his selfies with this ipad… eeewwwww!

brought the meaning to fugly to a new high.

then again, i feel so cute standing beside him.

ok, i sound so bitchy here…

lol!

ps: but hey, as long as he is happy right? i am glad he has good self-confidence! bravo!

1st birthday

my nephew celebrated his first birthday 2 days ago (technically, it's 3 days cos it's past midnight now) on the 12 dec. 

very fast right? it seemed like only yesterday that we were at the ward awaiting his birth. and for his birthday, my sis-in-law had prepared quite a bit of stuff whereas my brother had gone to the columbarium to pay respect to my dad, and to tell him of the good news. yup, my brother still visit my dad's niche and talk to him like as though he is still alive.

as for me and my mum, we did not attend the celebration. mum was in hospital and i didn't want to go to his place… i didn't want to head there and face my brother's consistently black face too. for that matter, i had to visit mum at the hospital too.

so...

impending end to 2013

i was like - omg, 2013 is coming to an end!

that was last week. it suddenly dawned upon me that this year really shot by without me realizing it. and i really need to find time to think back on what happened this year to prepare for my annual reflection. but quickly, and off the cuff, i think this year was a good one for me. not really eventful, but to a great extend, rather fulfilling. and i think having my 2013's guiding principle posted on the front of my blog constantly helped remind me of my priorities for this year.

maybe that should be the name of this year - a year of fulfillment? hmmm… whatever, i have 2.5 more weeks to think about it…

:-)

mum's so excited

mum was discharged today from the hospital and she literally behaved like a small girl.

when she got news of her discharge, she called every all my siblings and i. for that matter, she called me no less than 5 to 6 times within half an hour. buy me noodles… have you left home?… are you on the way?… how come you have not arrived?… her calls came within a few minutes of each other. i was kinda pissed with her non-stop calling but of cos i didn't show.

once home, i let her have her rest until about 6-plus before bringing her out for dinner and to do some shopping. and once again, you could see her excitement. well, i decided to bring her to a restaurant and buy her a proper dinner. and for that moment, forget about what the dietitian said about low salt intake etc. it was a good time to celebrate, i told myself. and at the restaurant, mum picked up the menu and she ordered the dishes! that was the first time for me! and funnily, she chose the dishes based on how nice the pictures looked in the menu.

and so, we ended up with wasabi prawns, stewed pork ribs, cod fish in special sauce, and spinach with 3-types of egg. and end of it all, she had mango sago dessert while i ordered a guilinggao for myself. and i told her dinner's on me cos i wanted to celebrate my birthday… haha!

wooooohhh...

coming on this thursday

things happened superbly fast these couple of days… 

yesterday, i told the agent i had gotten my mum's identity card address changed to my address. next thing i knew, the insurance agent emailed me this morning with news that the insurance policy application for my domestic helper has been approved. and next thing i knew, the agent called me with news that the ministry of manpower had approved my maid application. 

and before i could even utter a word, he asked me whether i prefer to pick my domestic helper up on wednesday or thursday. wow! that's like only 3 days away… woooo… anyway, i told him i will be on leave this coming thursday to send my mum for her medical check up. as such, it would be good to pick her (the domestic helper) after that. and with this input, he has gone ahead to make arrangements for her to arrive in singapore on wednesday...

superbly efficient and superbly fast!

:-)

hobbit - desolation of the smaug

caught that show hobbit - desolation of the smaug last night with bee. hadn't expect it to be so long and draggy. but i survived it!

the show retained all the magic of the lotr trilogy, the beautiful sceneries, the contrasting characters, the orcs, the elves, the hobbits, the fights, dragons and all. thought it was a very good show although i must admit i didn't quite recall the first part (couldn't even recall if i had watched it!) or for that matter, a lack of a proper start and end. it was the kinda of perfect "in-between" filler type of show with no highs and no lows… but well, there was at least some familiar faces and characters...

i am sure the next part will be better! 

:-)

frozen

watched the show frozen last weekend with bee, the day before i came down with the terrible food poisoning. i had actually expected some crazy christmassy comedy kinda movie but it turned out to be something totally different. and so for the first 10-15 minutes, it was a struggle for me mentally. heh heh...

so, after the initial "mental disconnectedness", i started to enjoy the movie. and admittedly, i didn't think much about the movie except that it was "just another disney movie", complete with the usual princess/ damsel in distress, the handsome dude who came and swept her off her feet and the "and they live happily ever after" kinda ending. but thinking back now, i do noticed there were quite a few interesting differences this production has compared to previous ones.

(spoiler ahead! read on only if you have watched the movie or do not intend to watch) 

firstly, the evil character was not female. it was the prince. secondly, the handsome dude that eventually paired off with the princess was a commoner and not a handsome prince. thirdly, the true love that broke the spell was not some romantic love but rather, it was sibling love. other than that, all the usual elements of love, romance, friendship, evil, magic, crazy slapstick jokes, crazy characters, beautiful animation etc that was so characteristic of all disney productions were there.

then again, somehow i didn't feel the oomph the way i did compared to the more classical disney productions such as snow white and the seven dwarves, or cinderella... perhaps it was a case of me having grown up and way passed my younger years. whatever… nonetheless, what stood out for me were 2 characters - olaf the snowman and the moose, especially the moose! to see a moose behaving like a dog was so so over the top for me! simply loved the character!

:-)

good week

i have been totally lazy this week and have not blogged. but ok, it's probably due to food poisoning and a bout of sickness over the past week. this week came and went very quickly. was on medical leave monday and again on wednesday. a very rare thing for me (for that matter, taking mc itself is quite infrequent for me)! and becos of that this week seemed very short.

nonetheless, it was quite a productive week as far as work and life is concerned. work wise, i have managed to start developing a new program for my cabin crew staff. have started that sometime back but due to different priorities that pulled me in all different directions, i have not been able to give it full attention and thus slowed down in launching the program. this time round, i have made the commitment to launch it on 7 jan and like it or not, i must get the program ready by then.

as far as personal life is concerned, it was good too. or at least a little more balanced. becos of mum's hospitalization, i was able to spend more time with bee. well, at least we managed to have dinner together daily. and that was something that hadn't happened for a long time.

and yes, i have finally changed the address of mum's identity card to my address. and with this change, the agent has finally proceeded with the application for the domestic help! let's hope things go smooth from here!

:-)

death overseas

well i wrote about how i came out to my lady friend sometime back. 

have know her since 1986 when i was doing my ns and through the years, we have kept in contact. and i think she's going through quite a bit of life's ups and downs through the years. she's a single mother, having divorced from her husband sometime back and had to bring up her daughter single handedly. 

well, she left the force last year, and started a new career outside shortly after that. and this year, she got to know a very nice ang mo overseas through facebook and they got married 2 months back. and over the last few days, she and her family decided to head to taiwan for a holiday and her mum passed away yesterday morning following a heart attack 2 days ago. as i write, she and her family members are making plans to bring back the body home for the funeral rites.

sighs… what a thing to happen during an overseas trip. but from another perspective, it was a beautiful way to go - on holiday and with all family members around.

i wish her strength during this difficult moment of her life.

vegetable oil

i learned something new from the dietitian last evening when i visited mum at the hospital. she was there attending to my mum and spoke to me about controlling cholesterol and sodium for elderly people through diet. two things that she said that i found interesting were:

• plant-based oil is healthier than animal-based oil with one except - vegetable oil. apparently, vegetable contains many other types of oil (i think i she said palm oil) that is contributes to hdl. and that increases that body cholesterol. she offered other alternatives such as canola oil, olive oil, sunflower oil, etc. 

• she also spoke about the control of sodium-intake. all yellow noodles are rich in sodium and should be avoided. all white noodles, such as kuay tiao and bee hoon, contains less sodium. the only exception to this is mee sua. accordingly, mee sua contains a rather high amount of sodium thus elderly people should not eat it cos it could possibly contribute to health complications.

the second point was rather amusing (and rather ironic too) cos for chinese, it is quite a common and traditional practice to eat mee sua during birthdays cos the long nature of the noodle symbolizes long life.

:-)

i lost my voice

yup… i lost my voice. experienced runny and blocked nose last night and woke up this morning with a very sensitive, yet parched and painful throat. making it worst was the fact that my throat was highly irritable and i kept coughing. oh dear, that was the clearest sign of the start of a bad flu.  told myself that i cannot take any chance and decided to pay a visit to my doctor. 

given one day medical leave from work and have slept whole morning till now. throat doesn't seemed to go get better, but let's be more patient. need to give the medication time to work. seriously hope it will go off in the next 2 days cos i have to conduct a course this coming monday.

medical leave

went to work this morning but felt a little woozy. 

decided to pay a visit to the doctor and had been given a day's rest at home. 

extended weekend for me i guess…

:-)

food poisoning

i woke up yesterday feeling totally off.

apart from the very bad heartburn, my stomach was also churning very badly. i could taste and smell the food i ate the night before and my whole body ached like crazy. and soon enough, I started making my runs to the toilet. diarrhea. in all, i must have gone to the toilet some 10-plus times through the whole morning.

came lunchtime, i had to drag myself to the hospital to visit mum and to pass her her hand phone. wouldn't want to have her getting worried or suspicious for no reasons. i didn't stay long. rushed home after dropping her phone off. and might as well cos my brother arrived just about the same time. and apart from the short half hour where i ate the dinner that bee got for me, i literally slept all the way till this morning.

thankfully, other than feeling a little lightheaded, i am feeling much better now.

start of a new workweek...

:-)

hospitalized again

mum was admitted to the hospital again over the weekend. it all happened on our way home from my brother's place.

while driving, i noted her heavy breathing and wheezing and instead of heading home, decided to bring her to the hospital. and what happened next was per all hospital visits, except that this time round it was kinda funny.

firstly, at the a&e, when the doctor came out to talk to me, she said i looked familiar. and i learned from mum that the nurses inside the a&e also recognized her. and interestingly, as she was wheeled into the ward, the nurses all recognized her too and many shouted her name out loud.

heh heh..

the kerchief

sgt arthur screamed, during one drill lesson: "pler-toon one five care-dads! all of you are gonna be officers one day. and officers are expected to be gentleman... and a gentleman carries a handkerchief wherever he goes! and i expect you to do so too…" that was in 1985 when i was an officer cadet.

but of cos, for me, since i was a boy in school, i have established the habit of carrying one. but that reminder by sgt arthur reinforced my belief in my practice. today, i still carry one wherever i go. everyday. unhygienic or old fashion some may call it, but it's what a gentleman should have and it is probably more environmentally friendly.

"yes sah-gernt!!!"

ps: i did a google on the word "handkerchief" and was totally intrigued by the rich history behind the humble piece of fabric!

picture from http://www.artofmanliness.com

getting a maid

i have been searching for a maid and finally will be interviewing one tomorrow… let's see how things go. so far, the experience with the agent recommended to me by my ex-colleague has been reasonably good. straight forward and to the point.

i have also sms-ed my brother to tell him (and not asking him if i could) that i would be changing the address in my mum's identity card to my address. i needed to do so as under local rules, a single man cannot employ a maid. and so i needed my mum to legally move into my place before i could employ a maid. 

my brother had previous vehemently objected to my suggestion to change the address as retaining his address in her identity card allows her to stay in the hospital at better subsidized rates and for him to use her name to his favour when needed, such as to justify for his mother-in-law's short term visit pass to singapore (that his wife cannot handle two kids, elderly mother-in-law yadda yadda yadda)...

peace of mind is more important to me now than subsidies given her weakened state. and frankly, i couldn't care about benefits for him now that he accused me ill-treating my mum and chided me for not looking after her well, given that "i had not even bother to get a maid to look after her". he cannot expect to have his cake and eat it!

if all goes well, i think i should be able to have the maid by end of the month/ year or perhaps earlier.

:-)

helping me release my stiffy

i decided to head to the chiro after collecting my prize instead of waiting till evening. the stiff neck had been a bother since last week. 

after parking my car and on my way up to the clinic, a cheeky thought came to mind… i actually thought about teasing my chiropractor. i toyed with the idea of saying something along the lines of "hi xxxx, i have a stiffy and i need you to help me release it…"  well, i was cock sure my chiropractor would be totally game for such jokes, being a superbly gay-friendly chap. but in the end, i chickened out… is that what we mean when we say "weak in the presence of beauty"?

haha!

awak dari malaysia eh?

after all my morning errands and before heading back to the office, i decided to have my lunch first.

it had rained whole morning and it didn't seemed to want to stop. and after parking my car, i walked to the hawker center for lunch. i had taken my umbrella with me as the rain continued. and it was then that i saw an elderly makcik (a malay woman) and her husband. the makcik was pushing her marketing cart to the car and she was limping. it was clear to me that she had a crooked spine and had problems walking normally. i noted she didn't have an umbrella and i ran to shelter her with my umbrella.

she didn't see me as i sheltered her from her back. but i knew she could sense my presence as she tried to step aside to make way for me. and i spoke to her, telling her to walk slowly and carefully for the ground was wet. she was kinda taken aback that someone actually bothered to shelter her. and i chatted with her in malay as she limped to the car. her husband thanked me and quickly made his way to unlock the car. and after she got into the car, she thanked me, looking a little embarrassed that i had gotten wet while sheltering her. and before i closed the door for her, she turned and asked "awak dari malaysia eh?" (you are from malaysia eh?)… heh heh… there were so many ways to frame that question… but of cos, knowing singaporeans and our societal stratification as a result of our language policies, makcik must have found it funny that a chinese person could speak malay. i must have looked young to her, i supposed. haha…

well, let me explain… all singaporeans borned before the 60s generally can speak malay as that was the main language used to converse with people of different races. malay took a backseat after english was adopted as the working language after singapore became independent in 1965. nonetheless, the malay language continued to be taught as an optional national language in selected schools up till the early 80s. and from mid-80s onwards, it was finally dropped from all schools after the language policy mandates that every child must take up at least 2 languages, namely english as the first language and his mother tongue as the second language. with this development, many singaporeans gradually began to lose touch with the malay language.

and this kinda explain makcik's reaction to me.

donated my prize

well, i thought about the prize i won for buying the post-its from the bookshop and finally decided to give it up to the department as a lucky draw item for this coming christmas. that was perhaps the right thing to do. 

technically, since i bought the post-its using department money, the prize i won out of the prize should technically be the departments' and not mine. my name happened to be used for the transaction… and so, after collecting the prize, i headed back to office, emailed everyone to tell them about it and placed the prize on a prominent place for all to see. it certainly got everyone excited…

:-)

fruitful morning!

i took half day off-in-lieu today to settle some admin. and regrettably, it rained whole morning. otherwise, i would have gone to the pool for a tan and to blank off mentally. nonetheless, i left home in my executive wear as usual. not nice to make mum suspect anything less. and yes, it was indeed an excellent morning for i managed to settle lots of self-admin/ errands. for a start, i managed to pay the dog license and got it renewed for another year. banked in a cheque, collected my prize and also managed to head to the chiropractor to fix my stiff neck. that's quite a lot done for a morning, considering the locations were all spread all over the island!

hehe...

mum's birthday

tomorrow will be mum's 81st birthday. and over the last 2 days, it was basically non-stop eating. not too healthy for her, but what the heck. it's now or never. frankly, and "matter-of-fact"-ly (if there's such a phrase, but you get what i mean), in her current state of health, i am really not sure if she'll live to experience another birthday. anyway, second sis bought her dinner last night at a hotel and since it was an international buffet, mum had the chance to eat like almost all the different cuisine from around the world. and tonight my younger brother and his family bought her a cake after bringing her out for a dinner (that i paid for). and again, mum ate her hearts out. and of cos, my eldest sis wanted to bring her out for dinner next week but mum rejected the offer, citing that she would be having dinner with me.

well, it seemed rather celebratory with all the dinners and celebrations, but from another perspective i thought it was rather sad. sad for a fact that for her birthday, and in my view, the most important and valuable thing for her would probably be to have dinner with all her children together. but instead, she ended up with every other children buying her a dinner separately cos of inter-sibling tensions. well, i simply take it as her karma. nothing much i can do for her. as for me, well… considering i was the one driving her around, i got to eat the dinners together. heh… and for today's dinner, i stayed quiet through out the whole evening. i didn't want to nor do i have any topic that i can talk to my brother. 

life's blessings

i think i am getting old… ok, reframe, i think i am mellowing a lot a lot with age. for i can now totally appreciate the little blessings in life. little things that i wouldn't even think about when i was a kid. for example, sitting in a hawker center with mum, eating our vegetarian noodles and drinking the local coffee black (kopi-o) as we watched the aunties and uncles do their marketing. basically, doing nothing except people watching and listening to karen carpenter's hits being played in the background.

such was the simple singaporean saturday morning breakfasts for me weekly.

we cannot get more heartlander than that.

and to me, it was priceless.

:-)

tablets

this is what tablets mean to the elderly. 

different from what tablet means to us. 

:-)

led light

wednesday was like any other day in office for me. work, emails. meetings. etc… and as usual, one of my colleague came up to me and passed me a letter. i took a look at it and left it on my table. just another one of those training flyers, i thought to myself. and i continued with whatever i was doing. i forgot about the letter conveniently and it was only on late thursday afternoon that i noticed it again. i opened it up and interestingly, i saw a letter inside. and it was addressed to me. ok, that was something really new. almost always, it would be addressed to some sir or madam. i took out the letter, unfolded it and i realized…

i had won a prize!

haha. it was really out of the blue. well, you see, i have always been that kinda person who never wins anything. for that matter, if anyone were to bet on any number that was associated with me (say my address, my car number, etc), they would be sure to lose the money. but hey, this time round i had actually won something. i read on and realized that the prize was a 3m 6000 led light that cost some s$269. wow! and it was then that my colleague reminded me about the stationaries that we purchased last month for some programs we were conducting.

such luck.

heh heh...

pic from http://www.motherinc.org

stiff

it was stiff since tuesday morning. i meant my neck. i didn't know how it came about but it got worst through the day… and it lasted till today. very uncomfortable.

let's hope it goes off soon.

penis

i really do not know if this image is true or if it was a product of some prankster photoshopping it. whatever the case, i had a good laugh over it. it certainly reinforced the point about the need to be careful about putting the space right.

:-)

ps: and yes, the penis is indeed mightier than the finger! agree totally!

helping a friend

i came home from work on wednesday and i got a call from a friend. i need help, he said… i didn't hesitate, i agreed. that call resulted in me bringing mum for a nice evening drive out of singapore. it was an unplanned trip but it turned out nicely for mum. it was a good break from the usual evening dinner and shopping routine for her. and i thought she enjoyed it lots.

well you see, i have a friend who lives in jb. this friend travels across the causeway to singapore two to three times a week to do his shopping, socialize and to catch up with his countrymen (he's european). and he has been doing so for many years. and it so happened that on wednesday, when he came over to do his christmas shopping, his car broke down as he was driving home from singapore. and he called me and asked if i could help him...

the rest was history…

:-)

weird night

last night was superbly weird for me. 

i supposed it was becos mum went a little bonkers before she went to bed. and it ended with her raising her voice at me, getting all so worked up and heading to bed full of angst. it all started after the evening tv serial when she asked me if i will be bringing the dog down to pee. it was a weird question cos i never did that. as a routine, i would only bring the dog down at about midnight before i retire for the night. anyway, she added, and you are gonna stay downstairs for a long while to let her play right? nope, i said, i'll be hanging out the laundry to dry and perhaps head out for a run. and she gave that a suspicious look and repeated what she said. her sentences came out weird cos at times, it sounded like a question and at times, it sounded like a statement. feeling a little bewildered by her repetitions, i said i didn't quite understand what she was trying to say and asked her to clarify. and again, she repeated what she said, this time adding an additional phrase that i should know what she meant and with the tone that suggest i had something planned and trying to hide what i would be doing by bringing the dog downstairs…

it was all so convoluted. and as she repeated herself, her tone of her voice got more and more hostile. it was rather frustrating and i decided against heading out for my usual evening runs. it was clear that her mental issues was working up. i proceeded to hang out the laundry and did my work in the living instead. work that involved lots of number crunching and lots of excel spreadsheet. as for mum, she gave me that evil weird look on her face as she grudgingly strutted into her room to sleep. i suspected she didn't sleep and my suspicion was confirmed cos about an hour plus later, she called out to me… where are you and what are you doing?!?!?! doing my work, i said as i continued. she didn't respond further. it was about midnight when i brought the dog down for her final pee before i retired to bed.

and so you can imagine my state of mind when i retired to bed. i felt very drained mentally and very frustrated. yet, my mind was very wide awake. and i tossed and turned in my bed. soon enough, i drifted into a state where i was between being awake and asleep. in that state, i remembered suddenly shouting and scolding something or someone, i didn't know. i was very angry and the anger was so intense i remembered pointing my finger at that person (or something). after that intense burst of emotions, there was a sudden feeling of calm. and within a split second, i felt a very sudden intense rush of energy. again, i didn't know how to describe this energy but the closest i could perhaps liken it to was - an orgasm. haha… but no, i did not have a wet-dream. i have never experienced it in my life (haha, too much info), but yeah, it felt like an intense orgasm of a young teenager and all the rush of testosterone. my whole body was shaking and trembling… and just as suddenly as it came, the feeling disappeared.  i couldn't remember anything after that.

next thing i knew, i woke up. it was about 5am…

weird.

looking for a maid

after all these while, mum finally agreed for me to get a maid. i told her i needed one to help me manage the house, and at the same time, help me look after her. i started looking around and learned from the classified ads in the newspapers that there are some maid agencies at katong shopping center. and so last week, i decided to drop by the place to take a look. i brought mum along after our breakfast last saturday morning. now, katong shopping center was a place that i frequent in the early-80s. it was the place to be for teenagers at that time. in fact, katong was the center of every possible activities in those days. cinemas, coffee shops, restaurants, shopping centers… you name it, you have it. but over the years, the place gradually lost its lustre to other areas. and today, it is a run down place. no one goes there anymore.

anyway, we arrived at the shopping center and took the lift to the first floor. i could no longer recognize the place. the whole floor was occupied by maid agencies. and it was quite a sight. as i pushed mum along, i saw many maids seated neatly and looking out from the offices of the so-called "employment agencies". imagine this, rows and rows of maids, all dressed in identical bright colored t-shirts in each shop. and the t-shirt color of the maid in different shop wore different colors. there were maids dressed in luminous pink t-shirts, luminous green t-shirts, and so on. and interestingly (or scarily), all of them had this "green" and "lost" look. everyone single one stared out blankly at us as we moved along. and for a few more adventurous ones, they grinned at us too. frankly, all these blanks stares and grins made me feel very intimidated. it was rather scary too. i told mum i felt intimidated and she simply brushed me off. she on the other hand was having a ball of a time criticizing maids in general about how bad they could be. and as she narrated her stories, she pointed to a few of those who stared at us…

it was rather overwhelming. in no time, i decided i had enough and left the place. i decided i should just ask around my friend for contacts. it looked like its gonna be more challenging that i thought.

haha...

spreading the dharma

i had the chance to talk to mum about the dharma today. 

in fact i do it often, but today, the lesson was very specific. it was about impermanence. you see, i brought her to the temple after breakfast and since we had all the time, i decided to slowly push her around the whole of the temple complex. we passed by some beautiful flowers and she asked me to pluck her a stalk of "blue" flowers. she wanted to have it and to admire it. i did it dutifully. as long as she is happy, i told myself, although plucking flowers is something i seldom do.

we continued walking and visited the different halls. and finally after a long walk, we arrived at the hall of the medicine buddha. she offered her prayers and when she looked down onto her hands, the flowers she was holding on to wilted. she lamented how 'sayang' it was that such a beautiful thing was lost in such a short period of time.  well, you very well know how i jumped on that opportunity to share about impermanence.

i thought is was a very good chance to share about impermanence and to also suggest to her about the need to let go. i wanted to do so cos i noted she has been so attached and caught with her past. nonetheless, i knew it would be futile. you cannot change the thoughts and habit of a person at that age. but i told myself that even if, in that short moment, she could comprehend the dharma, i would have achieved my aims of ridding her of some pains.

may she be well.

ondeh ondeh

"or-neh or-neh" or "or-nek or-nek"... that's how hokkien auntie calls the ondeh ondeh, a really delicious peranakan/ malay snack. and "or-neh" sounded bloody crude cos "or-neh" in hokkien can also mean black tits!

lol!

picture from http://www.timeoutkl.com

well vs unwell

well, i have a made an interesting observation about mum. when she is well, she is unwell, and when she is unwell, she is well. understand? haha... let me explain.

when she is sick and down with respiratory-related issues and can't breathe well, she is usually lucid and rather normal mentally. so i don't often experience her tantrums, emotional swings, etc. conversely, when she is normal and can breathe properly, she tends to be extra suspicious of me, and often throws her tantrums and gets into emotional swings...

and i have a theory why things are like that. and i suspect when she has respiratory issues, the brain gets starved of oxygen, goes into survival mode and thus focuses on what's necessary to stay alive. and when there is normal oxygen intake, the brain starts to invest the oxygen in other areas that allows her to "do other less productive things", like suspect people! haha... such a naive theory. but hey, let's just take life as it comes and manage it.

discharge tomorrow

the doctor called me at about 6pm and told me that mum could possibly be discharged tomorrow. she said she will do some final checks tomorrow morning before she confirms it. she explained that mum had too much water in her lungs and this worsened her asthmatic condition.

well, that kinda explained why mum was not responsive to the nebuliser nor the oxygen machine when i administered to her over the weekend. and the water was likely due to her insistence on drinking lots of water despite telling her not to. it's not the first time already, but somehow she just refused to control her water intake. i was able to control it when i was around, but once i was not around…

let's hope she learns from this lesson once again...

crying families

just as i reflected about people not knowing how to manage signs when looking after elderly, there is now a family standing outside the a&e department crying away. and one of the family member making so much noise about wanting to talk to the doctor and some other family members squabbling about how to manage their father (who's inside the critical ward).

well... looking through all the emotions and squabbles, it is clear that they all are in sync in wanting the best for their father.

in a way, i understand the tensions and the highly tensed state of emotions. but from another perspective, i do wish my siblings could be here too. then again, that would be too much to ask. probably the best respond i had was from my second sis who said she could come down if need be, but she would need to take painkillers as she suffered a small toe fracture last evening.

ah well, it is certainly easier in life not to have any expectations from anyone.

blessed

i often wonder how people who are less educated or are not familiar with medical terms and treatment handle their sickly an elderly family members? i cannot imagine how many death has possibly occur due to this. it's very scary.

and i reflected about this cos time and again, when i observe signs that didn't seemed right, i'd do my research in the internet, and to call up my doctor-friends to seek opinions. and due to my biology background, i was probably able to better understand how to titrate medications and is a little more sensitive to physical signs.

and even then, i felt a little helpless. so, i cannot imagine how others manage themselves when faced with such situations... and thinking about it, i felt blessed.

then again, perhaps from another perspective, ignorance is bliss?

hmmm...

ed

well, the acronym "ed" can refer to erectile dysfunction as well as "emergency department". i was a little confused last evening when i checked with a kl about what i should do with mum, given her increased breathlessness, cough, and frequent complains of thirst these few days. and after asking a few questions, he suggested i manage her salt intake and if her condition continues to deteriorate, i should bring her in to the ed.

so... yup, after her day-long pouting and pulling of long face, i decided to bring her in. she had insisted on going to bed and it was clear that she could no longer handle her normal routines. initially, she vehemently refused to head to the hospital ed. but during dinner, she started choking and coughed non-stop. and after dinner (which was plain porridge again), her oxygen saturation fell to 71% (normal person would be 95% and above). she panted heavily non-stop and was terribly breathless. i took the opportunity to take her to the ed, and she relented. she had no other options.

as usual, she was immediately wheeled in to the critical care ward. i am now waiting for the medical staff to come out to brief me on her condition. i think she would be admitted again.

all about piss

yesterday was interesting.

i brought mum and sapphie to the beach and sapphie had a ball of time swimming away. and as usual, after swimming, she would pee and poo before coming home. i went through the routine of giving her a bathe and drying her after we came home. and i sat down to watch tv with mum. 

sapphie then came up to me and placed her paw on my lap, something she'd do whenever she needs me to give her a pat, scratch her or simply to ruffle the fur on her body. i did all of it and she seemed pretty happy. and when i stopped, she placed her paw on my lap again. and of cos i patted her, scratched her and ruffled her fur again. and when i stopped, she came back and insisted for me to do it again. after a few times, i noted her fur was flying all over again and that her body was trembling. even her lips were trembling back. i concluded her skin was itchy again thought it would be good to apply some coconut oil on her skin.

i took out the coconut oil, pour a good amount onto her coat and started massaging onto it. and next thing knew, she started peeing onto the floor. huge amount of piss came out. and she ran off from me, as she continued peeing. aiyoh… the whole living room floor was full of her piss! and when she was finally done, she ran to the corner of the room, looking guilty. it dawned upon me then that she was trying to get me to bring her downstairs to pee! haha! of cos i quickly ran to the kitchen to get a floor rug to cleaned up the piss… needed to do this before mopping the floor.

mum sat on the sofa all these while and stared at me. once i wiped the piss off the floor, i walked to the kitchen to get the mop and a pail of water. and when i returned, mum was no where to be found. instead, i see a trail of piss from the sofa to the bedroom toilet…

aiyoh...

moody mum

i am not sure why but i woke up to a very very angry mum who threw her tantrums at me. she said i should know what i did to her this morning. hmmm… what did i do? 

she said it was this morning. and i reflected. well she woke up at 4-ish, i woke up when i heard some commotion and as i walked out of the room, i walked into the metal grill that block my door to prevent sapphie from leaving the room during the night. and i thought she had a fright for she quickly asked me what was that… i simply said it was the grill and that she should not get overly excited nor startled over it… that was it. so do i do wrong? i didn't think so. 

anyway, she now refuse to take her medications, refuse to talk to me, refuse to head out for breakfast with me, and choose to cook her white porridge again and just sat in the living room and pout away. for me, i am just doing my routines of cleaning the house, etc and letting her be. shan't get too agitated by her behavior. the silver lining of this episode is that she gets to go on a diet, which is actually good for her cos i think she's getting a bit too fat.

good interesting dinner

i brought mum to town today for dinner. it was a friday and i thought it would be nice to bring her further from home for a change. we ended up in suntec city. after strolling around the place and looking for a place for dinner, i decided to settle for paradise inn, a chinese restaurant. it had been a long while since i last visited any paradise inn outlet, not since the one located in the shopping center near my place was closed for renovation.

we had a good meal of claypot sea cucumber with leek, spinach with 3 types of eggs and steamed chicken in some chinese herbs. once done, i called for the bill and told the staff i would like to claim whatever membership points i had. not long after, the staff returned and passed me a bill that amounted to almost S$70. i handed my credit card to the staff. and after some moments, the staff came back. sir, after deducting your membership points, your bill is only about S$12 and we do not accept credit cards for anything below S$15. well… ok, so i took out S$50 and passed it to the staff. a while later, the manager came out and looked for me… errmmm, sir, your membership had expired, but we will still honor your points. also, would you want to renew your membership? it will only be for an additional S$10. ok, i said. not long after, the manager came out and returned me S$40 and a receipt. it puzzled me. should she not return me S$38? i double checked the receipt. it was then that i realized after getting my membership renewed, my dinner tonight earned me further points and added to my previous points, i ended up getting a free dinner. and i even have extra points left for that matter!

well, it was the first such experience for me… but well, i have no complains!

;-)

supportive boss

time and again, my boss called me and asked how my mum was. she was nice enough to tell me that even if i do not report to work and choose to stay and work from home, she was ok. it was certainly very nice of her. and with her being so supportive, i actually felt at ease to work and in the end, felt the pressure not to fail her even more. this despite that fact that i hardly know her (since he just join the company 2 months back).

this is in such huge contrast to my previous boss who summoned me to his office and told me off that i should solve my mum's issue (he called her my problem). and that he cannot be unfair to the other business unit head if, becos of my mum, he cannot squeeze me as much as he squeezed them. and he ended his short screwing session with this line - "a person needs to know his limits and don't over-estimate himself, and that if my car is too big for me, i should consider changing to a smaller car"… wtf right? well, i left my job. to hell with him.