my last day

i leave my company end of this year. and as i will clear some leave next week, yesterday was my last working day. 

with all the celebrations, lunches, dinners, etc... the final day eventually arrived. i had to make my rounds to the various departments to do my clearance. when i reached my ops department, a few people crowded around me and wished me well. my coo came too and we spoke for a while. he wished me well, saying at the same time that "its too bad, they don't know how to appreciate experience." it was interesting that he used the word "they" instead of something more neutral or collective such as "management". but it reflected the state of the merger - that after 7 months, the "we" versus "them" mentality is still very strong. i am sure this is to be expected as full integration will take a long time. 

overall, it was an emotional day for me. i felt a lot of different and conflicting emotions - happiness, relief, sadness, apprehension, etc. happy and relieved for the fact that i will be out of this situation where i feel mentally unchallenged and having to report to a management that refuse to engage. on the other hand, i felt sad that i will be leaving a lot of colleagues whom i had grown very close to, especially over the last year. and apprehensive because my joining of a new company will bring me into uncharted territories and meeting new people. but well, this apprehension is a positive tension for me, and that, in my opinion is a good thing.

i look forward to my next lap.

:-)