she's 14

this week 4 nov, sapphie turned 14.

a grand old dame for a dog but still she behaves like a puppy. still as playful, still as active. ok, maybe a little lethargic, but well, for her age, she's considered hyperactive! anyway, as she's vegetarian, i gave her her favorite peanut butter sandwich as a birthday treat! and 2 days later, half a papaya.

and she happily ate everything!

:-)

once in a while - 2

once in a while, i enjoy beating those bloody sports cars on the road by simply driving slowly but skilfully.

here's what happened many a times. as i drive, i get fast cars zipping and weaving their ways between cars as they revved their engines. bloody show-off people, i often thought. but what was interesting was that in singapore road, you cannot rely merely on speed. you need skills. you see, speed seemed to be what most youngsters go for. the adrenaline rush when they rev their engines and feel the super fast pick ups. but as for skills, it comes with experience and naturally, people who has been on the road longer (older people) tend to have this. 

and so, off expressways, despite the super fast pick-ups and the noise they create, these young speedster always end up getting stuck at traffic lights. and when that happens, older folks like me would catch up, and then we can look at them and laugh at them. of cos to them, they probably think we are looking at them with envious eyes. but that is far from why we did so. haha... similarly, on expressways, often we get like-minded experience drivers "bracketing" these fast cars and they end up getting "escorted" by slower cars along expressways, much to their frustrations. 

i know all these tricks. 

i have done them all.

:-)

once in a while - 1

once in a while, i like to react very nicely to rude people (most of the time, i either ignore or i retaliate... haha). and when i do so, the shock you see in their response from your non-mirroring reaction can be very fun and somewhat gratifying. 

yup, this is a warped logic to some of you, but it works for me.

and this morning was a classic case. what happened was that on my way out for breakfast, i had to change lane to get to the housing estate nearby. and naturally, i signalled my intentions early as i needed to get into the filter lane. the traffic was rather heavy. i looked into my rear mirror and saw a mazda, but he was a distance away. i then checked my blind spot and noted a nice comfortable space and i started filtering to my right. next thing i knew, a car horned me. i thought i had missed a car in my bling spot but no, there was none. it was only the mazda. it was weird cos there was lots of space between my car and his. i checked the rear mirror and saw the mazda driver cursing and swearing, presumably at me. i also noted he pointed his middle finger at me and flashed his high beam non-stop. very hostile indeed.

hmmm... weird. i didn't think i had done anything wrong to warrant such hostility. anyway, i simply waved an apology to him. i looked into my rear mirror as i did so and noted he quickly retracted his middle finger. and a split second later, he waved back. the momentarily non-reaction from him was interesting. my reading of it was that he felt embarrassed by his rudeness. he drove passed me as i entered the filer lane. i took a quick glance and noted he didn't look at me. he simply sped off.

"road ragers" on a monday morning... hmmm. perhaps he's had a bad weekend.

moody mum

i think it was cos i went out last night, this morning, mum was so so moody. 

and i wasn't surprised when she asked me to bring her to the temple after we did our marketing. i, of cos, was not prepared. i was dressed in my singlet and shorts and so i told her we'll do the trip in the afternoon. i took the opportunity to ask her why she wanted to head to the temple and said she had not been there for a very long time (which was not true). and when i probed further, she said she was feeling troubled. she didn't want to go into details.

anyway, through the conversation, she claimed that my brother had asked her why she had insisted on offering prayers at his home and given that he had asked her, she insisted he and his wife must have now suspected she's up to something. yup, signs of paranoia again. i reminded her that she had been forgetful and that they were asking simply because they were worried and concerned about her well-being. i then went on to also tell her that i had been bringing her to the temple almost every fortnightly except that she had forgotten.

well... it was a simple conversation, but she interpreted it negatively and ended up refusing to go to the temple after that. also, she refused lunch, got moodier, and avoided me. i simply let her be. from the look of things, i was sure she must have tried to read between the lines when i told her she was forgetful etc. and she must have allowed her imagination to run wild (again). i simply left her alone and let her pout for the whole day. brought her to my brother's place and she behaved normally to everyone, except me. she continued to refuse to talk to me.

heh heh... she went to bed earlier than usual today and i have given her an additional sleeping pill to calm her. but i think it is not working cos within an hour, she woke up and she has moved to the living room sofa to lie down. 

let's see if she falls asleep.

:-)

bee's birthday

today is bee's birthday.

and as per the last couple of years, there was no dinners nor celebrations as we had wanted to keep it low profile. got him a pair of sunglasses last month in advance and that was it. of cos, we went out for a quick drink last evening and that was it.

simple and sweet.

chiro's birthday

my chiro's birthday went by over the weekend and this time, i wished him correctly (i wished him happy birthday on 1 oct and made a boo-boo out of myself last month!).

heh....

obscene? funny? guy@pool

was on leave yesterday and went for a tan at the pool.

then this ang mo (caucasian) guy came along and walked to where i was. he was topless and spotted a pair of his blue shorts.  as he walked, i could see his bulge bouncing and assumed he was freeballing. but after he laid out his stuffs and took off his shorts, my eyes nearly popped out!

it was clear he was wearing a thong and a cock-ring, or maybe a thong that has an in-built cock-ring. and the ring was most likely the type that has a thick girth that made his package stand up perpendicularly from his body when he lied down! and he wasn't shy about it! and looking at it, he could either be described as obscene-looking or perhaps, even like a joke! using my iphone, i snapped a couple of shots and send it to a friend. and guess what? my friend said he was there the day before too. and did the same thing. and apparently, there was a straight couple there and they felt embarrassed by this guy and quickly left after that...

hmmm... now, i am a huge proponent of freedom of expression, but i strongly think such freedom must be done with due considerations and respect to the people and culture we are in. he can wear his cock ring etc and i am perfectly fine with it, but he should consider what is the "norm" when there are members of the public around. and this is even more important when he is a foreigner (i do think he is australian, then again, i might be wrong).

agree?

mourning the departed

a thought passed my mind as i thought about m.y.'s mum's recent passing. i was concerned about how he and his family were handling the departure of his mum and had kept in contact with him throughout the duration of the wake and the funeral. and 2 days after the funeral, i texted him again to know if he was alright and whether he had returned home (the funeral was in malaysia).

he shared that he was ok and that he had been busy with the funeral arrangements and the post-life administrations for his mum. but he said he expect himself to be reminded of her again when things get settled. as he shared, this thought came to me... that 

the real mourning for many of us only start after the funeral. 

it was the same in my experience with my dad's passing. and i saw it too with many of my friend's.

of houseflies & grandfathers

i was at my brother's place last weekend and as we were having dinner, my 4-year old niece suddenly called out "ah gong is here" as she pointed her finger towards my side. i had goosebumps that very moment. for that very second, i thought she saw my father's ghost and he was standing beside me. i took a quick glance and no, there was nothing there. it felt totally eerie. seeing there was nothing, i asked where was my dad (her grandfather) and she pointed to somewhere beside me again... and this time, she added "there, the housefly".

i had a good laugh! well, i recollected that very moment that whenever we went to pay respect to my dad at the columbarium, there would always be a housefly that fly around the offerings and often, this housefly would settle onto the food. and when this happens, my brother would tell my niece that that housefly was "my dad". that his spirit had gone into the housefly and he had returned to receive our offerings. 

well, yes, such reasoning was totally out of this world, but that was something that people of the days passed believed. i had been told by my parents (who in turn, learned from my paternal grandma) that the moth that frequently visited my old house was that of my paternal grandfather. haha... it really sounded nonsensical to me these days. but seriously, as a kid, i really believed and i would always have this unsettled feeling that also include both fearful, as well as respect, whenever a moth came into the house.

:-)

rejected, and relieved

塞翁失马，焉知非福

this phrase was shared with me by a blog reader recently. and he shared with me this after i shared that co b (that i had recently gone for the interview with), reverted that they would not be pursuing further conversations with me for the position anymore. i was not surprised given the total lack of chemistry between me and the interviewer. in fact, it was a total relief for me to know that i will not be required to attend further interviews as my continued attendance was out of considerations of my ex-colleague who referred me to the job.

anyway, back to the phrase. it simply meant - a set-back may be a blessing in disguise, or every cloud has a silver lining. i couldn't agree more. and i certainly hoped so.

:-)

phiten products

i have been looking around for a nice bracelet for a while. pure vanity as i had seen someone wore a certain model and i liked it a lot. and today, i decided to check out the range at a local phiten shop but in the end, i walked out with a necklace and a bracelet. haha... here's the story.

i brought mum to the shopping centre today and i saw a simple looking bracelet at the phiten shop. i decided to take a quick look, just a quick look as i had not intentions to buy it. it looked totally different from what i wanted. seeing my curiosity, the sales person approached me and asked if i had tried their products before. i have not, i said and quickly he asked if i was keen to try out a small experiment. well, no harm right? i thought and walked in. 

he place two 1.5l bottles of water that had been tied together and asked me to lift them up using 2 fingers. i tried and it was indeed heavy. then he placed a necklace around my wrist and to try lifting the bottles again. and amazingly, the bottles felt really much lighter! i was convinced on the spot that the product must have created that effect. anyway, he tried to explain but i wasn't thinking already. i was convinced and i started looking around the place.

i walked out with a matching pair of rakuwa s cross type necklace and bracelet in the end.

:-)

x yosemite

have upgraded my os to x yosemite today.

the whole look and feel are somewhat similar but it somehow feel different. but in terms of speed, i can certainly feel the difference. let's hope i don't get rude shocks as i continue to use it. 

:-)

there are bad people

was watching tv with my mum in the evening when she suddenly moved forward and looked towards the direction of the block facing mine. she has consistently been wary of the unit facing mine as their living lights would be switched on until 3-4am. and knowing what she was doing, i simply asked her whether she's looking at that unit.

she said yes and gave me this weird look. i knew what was on her mind and simply told her that the lights were switched on and most likely the owners of the unit work late and that is why their unit lights were left on until late nightly. when i told her that, she stared at me and told me - no, they are all bad people. 

i knew right then that it was her paranoia acting up again. i simply assured her that there is nothing wrong with them and at most, we should just lock our doors and windows. she didn't take my remark well and chided me. and added that is not that only unit with the lights switch on till late. in fact, there were many units! she might not have finished the last sentence, but what i was hearing was - there were many many bad people!

i told her that if she's that worried, i might as well sell off the house and we move away. but added that even then, it would not solve the problem becos many people sleep late. she looked at me with a very unhappy-wtf look at just refocus her attention onto the tv.

heh heh... this is a paranoid person. just need to get used to it and manage it when it happens.

she smokes & drinks

my second sis came to the house today to visit my mum. quite rare for her to do so cos she's always busy with her work. anyway, she dropped by and in no time started to complain about her eldest daughter.

she has started smoking and even drinks! she exclaimed. i scolded her but she just wouldn't listen. and i am so unhappy cos she blocked me. and of cos my mum added on... no, you must scold her more. if not, she will turn bad! my mum was convinced. ya, i tried and i scolded some more, but she just wouldn't heed my words!

i was kinda irked with this conversation but kept quiet. then the next thing i knew, my sis turned to me and complained about her daughter... i simply told her, she's already and adult (my niece is 25 and is a lawyer). so she should know what is right and what is not. so please let her be. at most, advice her and not scold her. let her live her life. 

my sis was kinda taken aback by my response. she did not go further. but i was sure she knew my stand. i have always reminded her to let them go now that they are all adults. now, i am not an irresponsible uncle or whatever. but i strongly believe that when you kids are all grown up and working, you should just let them live their lives. if they want advice, they will get back to you. otherwise, treat them like an adult and not mother-them day in and out like as though they are still kids. teach you kids values, and if you get it right, you can be sure they will live their lives well. 

no?

i am what i am

this song reminded me of the days back in the late-90s/ early-2000s when i partied at venom with james and his friends on sunday nights. it was a hugely popular song amongst the gay community and belted out by the resident drag queens there frequently. and it was popular not just becos of the lyrics, but also becos gloria gaynor (the original singer) had such a husky transexual-sounding voice. and whenever the song comes on, everyone will break into this frenzied screams and on-the-spot jumps. yup, venom was so crowded we couldn't really dance but just jump like people in a trance... 

so listening to it again, i can almost picture the drag queens lip syncing to this song, complete with trembling lips.

haha!

i will survive

omg, such a gay anthem and i have not gotten it in my blog yet? what have i been thinking all these while!

:-)

why bother?

larry, an friend of more than 3 decades texted me recently and he was concerned about my job search status. i shared with him the details and after hearing about how i am still going through the interviews with co b, he asked a very simple, but pointed question: "why bother to go on with the interview since you are not keen on the position?"

this question was not unexpected as larry is a rather objective person. since young, he has been like that and his question reminded me of "river", a reader of this blog. both of them make decisions very differently from i do. and same like "river", larry had also previously asked me why i had still not considered putting my mum in a home. from my observations, their decision-making tend to be based on facts, rather objective, straight-forward and to me, a bit unfeeling to a certain extend. for me, when i make decisions, i tend to also want to take into considerations things such as values, and relationship. and from carl jung's theory, our personality are at different points of the thinking-feeling continuum. of cos, there is nothing right or wrong about it. it just reflects our decision-making process.

ok, back to the interview process with co b, the reasons why i continued with the interviews is becos it was referred by my ex-head. i had met up with the big boss and she was really very nice and made special provisions for me to meet the various heads. thus, it is only courteous that i go through it. and frankly speaking, by going through the interviews, it helped my hone my conversational skill as well as allow me to know the company better. also, i strongly believe that professionally, it is important to maintain a good relationship with people and not burn bridges. the circle is not big and you never know when you will meet them again.

right?

ur bee in bkk?

"hey, is your bee in bangkok?" 

"i saw him shopping at boots with a bear..."

well, that was how a text came in from a friend. i simply said yup, he is there with his boss to help run an event. but frankly, i didn't feel good about it. then again, there is nothing i can do. he assured me it is work. and i must give him the space to also do some leisure activities outside work.

coffee in moderation

i was told to reduced my coffee intake by the specialist last month. and i had started off by abstaining it totally. it lasted about a week but it left me thinking about it and craving it. coffee had been a constant feature of my life since i was a little boy and to stop it altogether suddenly was not as easy as i had expected. that was not good.

so what i do now is, as far as i can i will not drink coffee. and when i feel the need (such as in the mornings), i will get a cup but i will only drink a mouthful or two. never a cup. i realised that when i do so, the craving stops. and i was able enjoy my routine as much as i could and at the same time gradually reduce my intake altogether. today, i can go without coffee easily. the cravings have disappeared even if i don't drink. 

once again, i was reminded of the buddhist wisdom of living life in moderation and not in extremes.

ebola vaccine

i read an article in the news that the ebola vaccine could be available in bulk for the mass in africa in 8 months. and i must admit, the first thing that came to my mind was - let's hope there are still living people there in 8 months time. don't mean to be insensitive nor rude, but i was just a little pessimistic about the state of how the virus is being managed now. 

let's hope things get in control soon.

mouth ulcer

am not sure if it is stress but i keep having recurring mouth ulcers these days. added to that, my lips are constantly dry and my throat feels parch. it reminded me of 2-3 years ago when i had similar experiences for more than half a year. at that time, it was due to the anti-depressant medication that i was taking. it stopped after i stopped the medication. this time round, i really don't know why i am having this. 

could it be the stress from job search? or could it be the stress of daily routines? 

i really don't know.

no response

after so many many rounds of interview i have attended, this is perhaps the first time the interviewer did not reply my post-interview thank you email. i supposed the feeling of a lack of chemistry is not just one way. then again, it is not courteous to reply. it reflects on the person i supposed.

:-)

sad news

just gotten news from m.y. that his mum has passed away.

may she rest in peace.

me the provider

i remembered what ryan (pseudonym of a friend) told me once before and i shared that i am the same.

he said that in relationships, he is usually the provider. he is the one that gives in, he is the one that provides for his partner, he is the one that cares, the one that showers the other person with lots of things... and many a times, he is the one that gets hurt. a case of what's mine is yours and whats yours is yours too.

i can so totally feel him. i am similar in many areas. 

origins mask

i used to use this particular mask from origins 10 years or more ago. or rather, there were 2 different types - one that is kaolin mud-based called "out of trouble", and another that is charcoal-based called "clear improvement". 

both were something james introduced me to. and he liked them becos they gave him the nice soothing feeling when applied on the face. most importantly, "out of trouble" really helped the face recovers really good and one can immediate see it glow the next day. i threw away the last tubes sometime after we broke off. after all, both tubes of mask had hardened and could not be used anymore.

i have forgotten about them until lately when my face began to feel extra extra oily and somewhat raw. i needed to sooth the skin and help it recover fast. and i was reminded of the kaolin-based mask. as i said, i forgot about the brand and the specific name of the mask except that the brand has a picture of a tree and that i could get it from town. it took me a while to recall it - origins. heh... and before i went for my interview, i got myself a tube. and wohhh, it used to cost s$20-plus per tube. and now a decade later, a tube cost me s$50. and even then the size of the tube is smaller!

hmmm...

another phone

mum couldn't get use to her new phone after a week. and so i bought her another one. this time round, i got her a nokia. a cheap one that cost me s$30. it wasn't the model she used before but i thought the same interface would help. but alas, she struggled with it too despite successfully trying it out at the shop. but well, thankfully, the charging wire for the latest phone fits that of her old one and in the end, i was able to boot up and charge the old phone. so now, i have 2 new phones with me and i don't know what to do with them.

haha!

calls from bee

given my highly negative reactions to his departure, he had made the efforts to call me this time round. let's see if he continues to do so.

interview

went for another round of interview with co b. this time with the head of the department. 

i must say the chemistry was not up to my expectations. thinking back, there were moments where she made me feel uncomfortable from her line of questioning. i was asked to explain what i meant when i wrote "i set up a specific system" in my résumé. thought i was an easy question and went on to talk about how i looked at the business, adopted a systemic look at the organisation and translate these into specific frameworks and processes to drive initiatives. and as i explained, she interjected and said things like "i am so-and-so and i know what this is all about, so tell me exactly what you mean when you say this.... specifically..." omg, i was literally made to explain processes in a step-by-step manner. totally not something i would expect for a senior level role that i was interviewed for.

so... yeah, the chemistry was not ideal. and to think this will be someone i will be reporting to if i join them, the interview kinda reinforced my apprehensions about this company. 

hmmm...

feverish

feeling feverish now. in fact, i had just taken a cold shower and it was one of those where i could feel the cold water getting warm as it runs through my head and trickle down my body. but yes, i felt so much better after dousing myself with a nice cold bath.

think i'll sleep early tonight. let's hope i don't get insomnia like last night.

mum's new phone

bought a new phone for mum last saturday from 7-11 after her existing nokia faced problems with  charging. the new phone is a locally produced elderly phone. it comes with huge number pads and the features it has resemble those first generation nokia phones. nothing complicated but enough that served her needs. but sighs, as of today, she has not gotten used to the phone and still doesn't know how to unlock the screen lock. also, she is not used to the new ring tone and keeps missing calls.

but the good side of things is that she doesn't call me these days (cos she is still not used to it) and i am not worried about having missed calls from her. anyway, let's hope she gets used to this new phone soon.

:-)

stabilised

smsed m.y. today and learned that his mother is a lot better now compared to the critical state she was in a couple of days back. and similar to bs's dad, it was a result of complications following an angioplasty procedure.

do hope she recovers quickly.

:-)

bs's dad got discharged

got the sms from bs's sis today. glad he has recovered sufficiently to be discharged. let's hope he recovers fully and regain his strength fast.

:-)

blah blah

woke up feeling blah. whenever he goes overseas, he gives me this huge blahness. things i don't like about when he goes overseas...

• always tell me at the last moments, sometimes as late as a few hours before trip
• constantly non-contactable when overseas, often will not answer calls, no replies to missed calls, no smses, no replies
• refusing to share flight details and who he's going with
• always happen on holidays in mid-week and stretching over the weekend

he is a huge part of my life and that his physical closeness is a huge support to me. you can say i am insecure, etc but his lack of pro-activeness in informing me and keeping in contact when such trips occur is not helping, and for that matter, making the whole tensions worst.

wtf.

mum & voices

i was feeling rather down and pissed after bee's call about the last minute arrangement to go overseas (yes, bangkok again) when mum called me. it was about 5.15pm and she asked if i am heading home yet and claimed she was hungry.

naturally, i packed up quickly and got home in no time. 

and once i reached home, she seemed unhappy and asked me why i came home so late. i was a little surprised by this question. i usually knock off about 5.45-6pm and would arrive home 6-ish but it was not even close to 6pm when i reach home. i simply told her i had not knocked off and she said something like this...

someone told me your office worked half-day today. 
so how come you are not home yet.

this feedback got me all flustered. once again, there is the "someone" that tells her about me. i asked who this someone was, and she said she did not know, but insisted that this someone is telling her the truth. but as i demanded to know who this someone was, she changed her lines and simply said she was merely asking if my office practices half-day work today given that tomorrow is deepavali.

i was so totally pissed off. both bee's last minute overseas trip and mum's behaviour spoiled my day thoroughly. i was in no mood to make dinner and brought her out instead. and as i did so, i reflected on the incident. and it struck me, could she be hearing voices in her head? 

i don't know. i just want to sleep now.

taken leave

it will be deepavali in singapore. it will be a public holiday and becos it occurs in the middle of the week, many of my colleagues had taken opportunity to go an extended break by taking leave since last friday. for me, i have decided to take leave this thursday and friday instead. thought i could spend some time to catch up with myself and perhaps with bee. have applied for this this morning but now, i am wondering if i should cancel my leave. 

bee called me this afternoon to tell me he needs to head overseas to assist in an event. once again it is a last minute thing. i can forever not understand how he always get activated last minute. events are planned way ahead and he should have been informed ahead of time. also, i always notice these "events" always happen when there is a holiday middle of the week and he would be required to be there from the start of the public holiday till the following monday.

it has happened again and again and again.

not in the mood for any leave now.

damned.

falling sick

i think i am falling sick. 

been feeling very tired these couple of days. added to that, i keep feeling very thirsty and i have once again developed 2 small ulcers. these are clear signs of dehydration. arghhh. been drowning myself with water and let's hope the ulcers do not grow and join to become a huge one. if it does, i will be in for a painful experience again.

sighs... 

east coast food village

decided to bring mum to the east coast food village last evening. the place has been known to be very crowded becos of its good spread of different local fares that include fried oysters, barbequed chicken wings, hokkien mee etc. these were all mum's favourite. 

i had not visited the place since many years back. last i knew, the place was renovated and had been made a lot more spacious. so, it seemed a logical place to go given that mum is wheelchair bound. but i was utterly disappointed. the place was indeed more spacious, but what i noted was that there were too many stores selling the same stuff. worst of all, the standard of the things had dropped tremendously. 

i will probably not head there for any dinners anytime soon.

lion the victim

i watched a documentary yesterday and for once in a very long time, i was impressed by how it was shot. or for that matter, how it managed to capture a scene were the lion was killed by a herd of bulls.

apparently, the scene started with how the lion tried to kill a bull. it did not succeed and ended up with the bull running off in fear. the sudden attack resulted in the herd running in a frenzied and chaotic manner. and so, to safeguard itself from being trampled by the herd, the lion had to climb up a tree. the poor lion grabbed onto the branch for his dear life. soon enough, the herd of bulls calmed down and the lion decided to make a second attempt at one of the bulls.

this time, the bulls were prepared. as the lion bit one of the bull, the bull used his hind legs to kick the lion. and as he did so, the lion loses his grip and fell. immediately the herd turned against the lion and continuous head butt him with their sharp horns. it was pure brutality on the part of the bulls. they pierced and trampled onto the lion simultaneously and you could see how the lion struggled as it was being tossed and trampled non-stop. soon enough, the herd stopped and the scene showed a lion, almost dead on the ground. 

it was really interesting. in my years of watching documentaries, this was the first time i see a predator killed by its prey. and for that matter, a herbivorous prey. i couldn't comprehend my emotions that very moment cos on one hand, i was cheering the bulls on as they managed to overcome their natural adversary, yet on the other hand, i was pitying the poor lion as the bulls reacted to him. i could see the fear in his face and almost heard his screams. this was what i could term - cognitive dissonance. in all sense.

i was in awe.

people telling lies

one of the things i really dislike about people is when they tell lies. and especially when they do so so blatantly. here's one such incident that happened that gave me a very bad impression of the person, for that matter, the group of people... and for that matter, the fact that they are from prc. really regretful that they were from prc, but they do reinforce the perception that people from china are rude, behave badly and really not truthful. here's the story.

my colleagues and i decided to head out to one of the shopping centre for lunch last friday. and we decided to try this particular asian kitchen outlet given that we have not tried it before. we walked in and we were greeted by one of the staff (who happened to be from prc, judging by his accent). we told him we had 4 persons and he quickly ushered us into the restaurant itself. being a very small place, almost all the seats were taken except one particular corner where there was a table with 2 empty seats.

it so happened that the adjacent table (with two empty seats too) had been pulled towards a group of 4 people who were happily having their lunch. looking at the situation, the restaurant staff wanted to join the two tables to make space for 4 of us. as he did so, a guy at the table of 4 shouted at him and said they are expecting one other person. and looking at how they are already almost done, the staff asked if they could release the table and that he would make space for their "one other person" to sit facing them. he explained nicely to them that the table is for 2 and since they only have 1 guest, he could provide them an addition chair for this guest. quickly, and almost instinctively, a lady from the table interjected, no, no, we are expecting two persons. not one. since when we said one? everyone of us, including the staff, knew the lady was lying as her friends turned to her momentarily and stared at her as she reiterated, we are expecting two persons! we shook our heads and the staff had not choice but to give in to her. 

thankfully, one other table of 4 left at that moment and the staff quickly made space for us at that table. we went on to have our lunch and we betted amongst ourselves that there would at most be one other person that would arrive. and true enough, only one came. it was such a blatant lie. we felt so totally disgusted by that whole incident. such a disgrace to the lady. and by extension (perhaps unfairly), to her friends, and her country.

awkward silence

i self-declared a day off for myself and headed to town to meet the headhunter today.

and it was such a small world cos as i walked to the headhunter's office, i chanced upon my ex-head (who had referred me to the bank's opportunity). and he was walking with (guess what?) the bank head that interviewed me and that created a huge huge huge boo boo that ended with me being offered but offer retracted.

anyway, we were walking in opposite directions and it was impossible to avoid the meeting. and when the band head saw me, he tried to avoid me. but it was too late. my ex-head had seen me and he called out to me. and i felt a short moment of awkward silence and i thought he felt it too for he quickly bade me farewell and we parted ways.

:-)

headhunters

will be meeting up with a headhunter tomorrow.

this headhunter was recommended by an ex-colleague from my previous employment. they have seen my resume and want to talk to me. apparently there is a post that they want to pursue with me. but from the email, i think its not something i'm keen. then again, i'll be meeting them and see how. it's always important to work closely with headhunters. you never know what other openings they have.

:-)

post-angioplasty complications

for the second time today, i got news of this.

first it was bps's dad, and later this afternoon, i got another message from lp. my's mum had a heart attack and she underwent an angioplasty procedure yesterday. she developed complications after the op and is currently in critical condition. he has since flew home to be with her. the next 24 hours or so will be important for her.

yet, again, i have another friend whose parent is ill. 

let's hope she pulls through.

new blog milestone

without realising it, i crossed my annual blog entry record today. previously, i clocked an all time high of 577 entries in 2012. and i crossed that mark today. for that matter, this is the 581st post for this year. if i were to continue my current frequency of blogging, and by extrapolation, i should be able to reach about 700 postings for this year.

this worked to an average of close to 2 blog postings a day.

well, i supposed i surprise myself once again.

heh...

write for sg50?

had been asked to pen a 1200-word article about secondary forestry in singapore. to be specific, about a location in the training grounds of the saf that every singaporean son who had served national service will know about. the article is meant to be part of a commemorative book to be published as part of celebrations for singapore's 50th independence anniversary next year.

well, i declined the invite.

i had no desire to partake in this whole celebrations for a start. admittedly, i still harbour the negative vibes after the being "killed" for my sexuality in 2005. people have chided me somewhat and just told me to move on and not imprison myself. well, i do not see how i can possibly do it so easily. perhaps it is a case of passion/ love for an institution turning into hatred/ intense dislike for it. am not sure how to describe it, you probably need to be in my shoes to fully appreciate my feelings. anyway, i decided not to write. i had no desire to do it and was totally not keen to subject myself to the stress given the tight timeline. i like to write (as you can see from my blog) but to have to write for something/ someone under a deadline, it's kinda a turn off. 

:-)

rewrite - the movie

bee bought tickets for the movie "dracula - the untold story" last evening but in the end we decided to change the tickets to "the rewrite" instead. he had read about the review of dracula and it didn't come across as anything fantastic. and as for me, i don't fancy anything dracula actually... and i was not very much in the mood for anything less than easy and light after mum's reaction to my outing. 

and so, he chose the show "rewrite". the posters indicated it would be a comedy and since i wanted something light, he thought it fitted my criteria. well, we didn't know what to expect when we walked in to the hall early and waited. actually, we both felt tired. it had been a while since we watched any midnight shows. all too soon, the show started and we realised we were the only ones who had booked the show! haha...

the show was about how an academy-winning scriptwriter of days gone had to accept the job of a university lecturer as he couldn't get any jobs, his experiences as he taught he students about writing scripts for a movie and how through the process, discovered himself a little more. simple show, but to me really flat. the acting was hardly competent and the storyline, boring. we contemplated walking out halfway during the show but decided to stay on since we were the only ones. 

but yeah, it was still a break from home.

:-)

colouring mum's hair

just dyed mum's hair this morning. she looks a lot more refreshed now!

:-)

bs's father

my best friend had returned to singapore two days back from his thailand work trip. he returns to the states this evening. and i learned that his dad is in hospital for an angioplasty procedure. will find time to visit him. i guess people of my generation are in the stage of life where our parents are elderly and will face health issues frequently.

let's hope his dad recovers fast.

madam & steve

just a nonsensical thought during the week when i recalled how some people vehemently resisted homosexuality by saying how god created "adam and eve and not adam and steve". if there is a god and he had created the first two persons, he probably had to make a choice by taking the middle path and create 2 persons physically but build in genetically the potential for them to express themselves differently (mendel's theory comes to mind!). and from that perspective, to depict the two persons as "adam and eve" is probably only part of the story. perhaps it would be appropriate to refer to them as "madam and steve". and the permutations would probably include...

madam and steve

(m)adam and steve

madam and steve

madam and (st)eve

madam and steve 

ok, i was just too free to think of such things... writing them out now, i feel a little stupid. as a person of science, i don't believe in a super being called "god" in the first place.

haha!

busy week

been a busy but fulfilling week.

have not felt so for a very very long time. and last week, i decided that i need to kick myself a bit and thus planned for a couple of activities in nov. also decided to do a mid-year consolidation for my area for the company. no requirement to do it, but thought it would be useful when we start to do budgeting for next year in 2-3months time. 

and with this, both my staff and myself got busy. and she felt very good about it. it was something that we have not felt for a very long time. and frankly, the teamwork was so seamless we were able to do lots of stuff without the need for briefings and another. it was like clockwork. and it felt good. and interestingly, amidst the new tasks we created for ourselves, the top man wanted to conduct a companywide town hall. and guess what, once the direction came, we got everything settled and co-ordinated within 15mins! easy peezy.

that was how effective we were as a team! to a small degree, i felt a little sense of regret when my staff reflected - well, we needed to work out the details and it took us quite an effort to organise a town hall when we first started, but now, it was so easily done. she had formally tendered and will be leaving by year-end. then again, positively speaking, and not from a corporate-speak angle, i am glad she had had a good and learning experience with me. she had grown and matured professionally in this one and a half year and from a personal front, i am glad she is moving on.

:-)

gay halloween? no!

i went for my routine nightly exercise last night and decided to stop by the business park to do some stretching. and something happened that freaked me out big time! the place was relatively dark and quiet and halfway through my stretching, i noted someone walking into the park. he walked slowly and with a slight limp. from the silhouette, it was cleared he wore a white cap and a long arabic-looking black gown. he walked with a slight limp and seemed a little hunchback. it reminded me of the character from the notré dame show. but i did not give a second look and continued my stretching.

next thing i knew, this guy limped his way to where i was and sat on the bench beside me. at this distance, i can see his facial features better. he's obviously chinese, and his whole body looked bloated. he had a black eye, similar to someone who had been punched and his facial features resembled a person with down's syndrome. it was a little scary to me to see such a physical appearance in a dark and quiet place. but what freaked me out big time was that he smiled at me, and in a low eerie-sounding voice, offered to give me a blow job. i refused and moved to another bench. he followed and this time, he went further, he reached towards me with his hands and asked again.i had goose pimples when he did that. again, i said no, and i returned to the original bench. once again, he followed and this time, he half-pleaded. just once, just once, he went as he raised his finger (like how e.t. did when he wanted to phone home).  i will give you a very good one, he insisted, just once. i didn't respond further and i simply walked away.

now, i do not discriminate against people with down's syndrome and my reaction to this person was not becos of it. but the experience of chancing someone dressed this way in a dark corner was a little too much for me. also, his actions intruded into my space and i strongly felt he needed to give himself some respect. i related this to a friend and he teased me that halloween had arrived early for me. but no, this was not the same as halloween. the guy was not in a costume nor was he acting. it was real.

yikes!