in life, always remember to give thanks.
giving thanks makes you a happier person, one that appreciates another, that recognises the efforts of another, and in doing so, makes people happier too. when you give, you receive. that was what i did today. and with that done, i had completed what i wanted to do for mum. following her passing, i made a point to give thanks to all the people that had taken care of her, particularly the healthcare workers and the administrative staff at the rehabilitation center, and of cos, the maid. but there was one more gentleman that i had not had the chance to thank personally due to my work schedule. until today.
this person was the mental health doctor - professor chee kuan tsee, emeritus consultant, imh. he had managed mum's mental health since she was first diagnosed with depression when she was in her 30s (that was what mum told me). he had looked after her for close to 50 years and had watched her aged and grow old through the years. he was the one whom i continued to visit to update about her conditions over the last few years and he had watched her condition worsened. it was amazing how he could remember little details about her whenever i went to see him. and usually after talking about mum, he would ask about myself, my brother, etc. and interestingly he was the one who advised me to continue living my life, as mum wilted away 2 years back. let her be and if need be, ignore her, he advised. you need to live your life too, i remembered him saying. with all these years of looking after her and the interactions with us, he had invariably become a part of our lives.
i took mc today becos i felt feverish and a bad throat. with time at hand, i decided to head to the clinic to thank him personally. prof chee works part time these days. seeing patients had become one of his routines and he continued doing so even after he retired more than a decade ago. he is an elderly person now, in his late-70s, but he is still as spritely as ever, seeing patients, giving talks, travelling the region. through our interactions, i knew he works on tuesdays, thursdays and fridays. i arrived at the clinic at about 9.30am and i walked into his clinic once his patient walked out. he was facing his computer screen when i stepped in and as i walked in before he pressed for the next patient, he looked rather disturbed and crossed when he turned around. for a split moment, he couldn't recognize me and looked like he wanted to scold me. feeling a little awkward amidst the short tense moment, i uttered, "prof, i just wanted to tell you that my mum had passed away and i am here to thank you for all the years of care you had given to her".
quickly, his face softened. i was not a patient that barged in before he called. he stood up immediately and came forward as he reached out to me. he held my hands as he asked about mum's passing, when did it happened and how did it happened, etc. i started choking as i shared with him about mum's condition before she passed away and he said some consoling words that i didn't really register. then he asked if mum was closing 90 and i started feeling awkward. i thought for that very moment that i was talking to someone who couldn't remember us. in order not to embarrass him, i replied that she was in her mid-80s (she was 83 to be exact). we spoke a while more and my apprehensions disappeared when he asked if i was still working in my current company... whew. anyway, i shook his hand, thanked him again and he wished me well. i felt a little emotional at that moment but it felt really good. good that i had completed what i felt was right and important - give thanks to my mum's life long doctor. and with that, i felt a huge load taken off my chest.
thank you once again professor chee. thank you for the many many years of looking after my mum. thank you for the support you have given me over the past years when i looked after her.
:-)
