Some reasons why many of us are freaking frustrated with Fridae... stopping our Perks and giving up on Fridae eventually.
- The seemingly perpectual upgrading of server that ended up with many of us being unable to log in.
- There was a time when Fridae members suddenly have a common age - 34 years old (altho this worked well with some people above 34 who could blame their cyber-youthfulness on Fridae).
- The latest phenomenon is that many of us seemed to measure only 0cm tall. Is it a just simple case of technical glitch? or are there larger issues such as competence (or rather, incompetence) of system administrators? performance failure of system administrators? server performance? or simply corporate non-chalance?
- Once every so often, our pictures get removed and we get reminders from Fridae webmasters that we should only put photos of ourselves (and must have our face too!). Then again, we consistently observe that many other people do not do so, choosing to insert photos of faceless half/fully naked bodies, caricatures, dogs, cats, what have yous; and we do not see their photos being removed. A case of 2 legs good 4 legs better? What make Fridae so sure that the faces published are those of the persons posting it? In insisting that we publish a face, is Fridae assuming that the face/s published would be that of the person itself? From my experience, I am very sure this is not always the case. Is publishing a face all that important in the first place? If I may, I would say that a person's choice of pictures reflects many tacit details of that person that a face cannot simply capture and in itself, a direct reflection of the publisher's character. And therefore, we should not stop him/ her from doing so.
Does this example of insisting a face is published reflect the superficiality of Fridae administrators? At a higher plane, does this inconsistent attempts at censorship reflects an insufficient/ total absence of in-depth rationalisation of the purpose of the web-features (such as photos) within the overall intention of the portal by the administrators? or was it just a simple case of inconsistency in web-policy enforcement?
Shouldn't Fridae, who prides itself as the `Largest Gay and Lesbian Network in Asia', play a more constructive role of administrators and/ or facilitators to promote interactions amongst us? I believe that if Fridae is really sincere about promoting interactions amongst us, it should stop imposing such archaic rules on us.
Instead, it should create an environment where Asian Gays and Lesbians can interact freely. Rules, should be based on certain enlightened premise and not simply some superficial assumptions - eg to show a face would mean a person is sincere about making friends. Added to this, rules, if defined, should be properly thought through and enforced universally. Why censor some and not all? Doesn't the fact that so many people are not following the guidelines and this perhaps reflects a broader deeper societal issue for eg stigma? still in the closet - ie privacy-issues? fear of basklash at the personal-level? if Fridae understands this, why then, insist on a photo?
I would also go on suggest that there is an unstated implied role for Fridae to educate the broader society out there that we are certainly not a bunch of sleazy people who are sexual deviants or a community that `chose' to adopt an `unnatural lifestyle/ practice'. And in this light, perhaps Fridae should consider focusing more on censoring exlicit sexual pics being published up-front instead. Members should be restricted to sharing their sexually explicit pics via the vault only.
Anyway, for now, I do not know if what I have reflected would matter or make a difference. And I don't care either.
I am gay and proud of it and I will continue to do what I think is right and suits me - as long as I am happy.
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