My friends, his friends

I used to be very close to my ex-colleagues and their partners - we even called ourselves “family.” My ex-colleagues affectionately referred to me as “Baba,” and we spent almost every weekend together. We played mahjong, travelled, celebrated birthdays, and marked all the major festivities as a group. When my ex became part of my life, he naturally became an integral part of this “family.” We had a shared WhatsApp group that included all of us and our partners. Over time, due to their similar ages, my ex grew close enough to form a separate WhatsApp group with my ex-colleagues. 

When we broke up, I texted the group and asked them to support him since he was alone in the country. To give myself the space to grieve, I excused myself from the chat. Now, I am essentially no longer part of the group. My friends and their partners have largely distanced themselves and only reach out when they need something, like dog-sitting. From what I see on their Instagram stories, it’s clear they (and my ex) hang out regularly. In effect, I’ve lost my closest friends to him - a bitter pill to swallow. 

I feel hurt and betrayed, especially during moments of loneliness when I crave companionship. Perhaps the age gap between me and my ex-colleagues played a role after all. But I remind myself that this is an opportunity to explore what it truly means to be me. It’s a chance to rediscover myself and build new connections. It won’t be easy - it’s exhausting as an introvert - but it’s something I must do. Maybe 2025 can be my year to focus on rediscovering and re-establishing myself, both personally and professionally. 

P.S. Finding company for dinner every day isn’t easy, and it’s probably something many people take for granted.