hong kong & macau - day 4

for day 4, i went hiking at the dragon’s back...

frankly, i woke up feeling a little unmotivated to hike. after all, i had walked quite a bit when i visited macau and lamma island the past 2 days and my body was aching badly. and so i lazed in bed until quite late before i decided to pull myself up and headed out of the hotel. the dragon's back trail is located in shek o and i had heard so much about it. i had previously wanted to visit it but missed the bus stop and ended up in some villages and this time round i told myself i will make it to the trail.

the trip to dragon's back was not unfamiliar to me. i took the mtr to hsiao qi wan station (the same place i went to on day 1 when i visited the sinseh) and boarded bus no 9 from the bus depot located just next to the mtr station. when i arrived there, there was already a small crowd of tourists and i could only guessed they were also going to the dragon's back trail. in no time the bus came and seated next to me were 3 young 20-something asians (2 female [one of whom bleached her hair blond] and 1 male). from the way they spoke and their slang/ accent, it was obvious they were from some western countries. much as i am quite chill about non-asian asians, i couldn't help but thought they were a little over the top, and somewhat disrespectful. they spoke and laughed loudly, scream at the littlest things (such as when the bus ran over a stone and we experienced a little bump), and commented at every thing they saw, including street names, signages, etc. inside me, i was like - hey, please behave yourself can? anyway, the bus came to a particular stop where everyone alighted. i followed suit and found myself at the start of the dragon back's trail.

the dragon's trail is a ridgeline along the shek o district and rose up to 230-over meters above sea level at its highest peak. on this ridgeline, one can have a really good view of hong kong and the surrounding islands. it took some 15-20min of hard climbing before i reached the ridge and it was superbly windy. the weather, some 18 degrees celsius, was really nice and cooling and perfect for the hike. i had expected this hike to be relatively simple and had not prepared any bottled water nor carried my backpack along. i also did not want to hurt my shoulder further as it had started aching after my climb in lamma the day before. and so, with only my light sweater tied around my waist, i started my hike along the dragon's back trail. the trail was really pleasant - quite undulating and rather steep at times, but overall, it was very refreshing. the cold of the winds did helped me a lot as it kept me going. i surprised myself at certain stretch when i actually ran... heh heh... i stopped multiple times to enjoy the scenery around and it was really beautiful. imagine this - as you walk, the mist (or clouds) whisked by at high speed across the ridge and during the occasional clearing, you get to see the sceneries in the distant. gorgeous right? it took me about 2-3 hours to complete the full stretch of the dragons back trail. i was glad i did it. 

for some reasons, i started having diarrhoea when i reached the end of the trail. it was superbly uncomfortable to have to endure a churning stomach as i made my way back to the mtr. went back to the hotel after that and rested in my hotel. day 4 evening was an unfortunate one where i got cheated by someone of hkd200. shan't talk about it here as i wanted to focus the post on the trail. suffice to say, when i mentioned it to my hk friends, they were shocked and to a certain extent, embarrassed by it. sighs.

hong kong & macau - day 3

woke up late on day 3 and visited lamma island. this was such a charming place. it was a short ferry ride away from the harbour but the whole ambience was totally different, almost worlds apart.

lamma island is a fishing island. i decided to take the ferry to sok kwu wan (索罟湾) (rainbow bay) and hiked towards yung shue wan (榕树湾) (banyan tree bay). it was interesting that when i arrived, there was a hosted lunch going on at the jetty seafood restaurant and guests were invited to belt a couple of songs as they ate. there was this particular 60-over year old lady who sang a traditional cantonese song and it was just amazing how "traditional" her voice sounded - big pitch (soprano-like), yet not piercing - just like how the family song di nu hua sounded like when i heard it long time ago. i stood there and watched her sing for a moment before continuing my walk.

the walk was rather straightforward - not too hilly and the climb was relatively gentle initially. it brought me through the tin hau (天后) temple and as I climbed, the view of the whole village came into sight. it was really nice to be able to see the many fishing pontoons scattered within the bay itself. it was then that i came to appreciate how the hills around the bay served as barriers to typhoons during the typhoon seasons. my climb also brought me to little houses and at one point i missed a turn and ended up in another village at the eastern side of the island. had no choice but to walk back up the hill to get back to track. it was really tiring and it drained me of my energies. heh heh...

anyway, lamma island was interesting. on one hand, it is old, rustic and charming, yet on the other side of the island, there was a huge electric power station. this station, i understand, generates and provides electricity to hong kong. it was superbly contrasting given the 3 towering chimney that rose above all the hills and the tree-less landscape of the whole installation. the whole walk took me some 3 hours. i didn't bother to stay and explore the villages at yung shue wan (榕树湾) (banyan tree bay) as i was tired. took my lunch there and boarded the 3.15pm ferry back to kowloon.

i spend the evening relaxing in bed. my body and right shoulder had started to ache after carrying the backpack through the day. i was supposed to meet up with sy this evening but in the end told him i wanted to just stay in bed and rest. 

hong kong & macau - day 2

i visited macau on day 2 and it was a good and refreshing trip. the ferry lasted an hour and after checking around with the locals, i boarded a public bus and made my way to the city center. walked around the place and along the old meandering lanes that were lined with shops selling local fare and souvenirs. the lanes led me to the ruins of the st paul’s cathedral. this is the icon of macau and as to be expected, it was really crowded. as usual, there were lots of loud mainlanders. the thing about mainlanders are that you can spot them from far - by their fashion sense as well as from the volume of their conversation.

i’ve often wondered what’s behind the famous facade of the cathedral and how it could still stand after so many decades. i got my answers when i surveyed the back of it. it was supported by an elaborate structure of steel beams. and beyond that, on what would have been the interior of the cathedral, what the locals did was to developed the space into a small tourist visit site where tourists could walk around and view whatever remains of the cribs (tombs). and at the basement, there was a small exhibition area that showed a small number of artefacts of the old cathedral.

after visiting the cathedral, i decided to walk back to the harbour instead. i wanted to experience and witness how the locals live their lives. my walk took me through lanes and lanes of tightly stacked houses and shops. it reminded me of hong kong but it was a lot cleaner and certainly a lot less crowded. but what struck me was the fact that all the street signs and public signages of buildings were written in chinese, portugese and english. such signages are reminders of the days of portugese rule. it’s special to macau and gave it it’s distinctive feel.

i had the pleasure to interact with a visitor from england and she too had taken a day trip to macau. had a good chat with her through the journey back to hong kong. it was a short but a good and meaningful trip. macau is smaller than hong kong and in many ways, not as famous as hong kong. but it is a really charming place to visit. i enjoyed the trip and ended the day with a quick catch up with howard, a hong kong friend that i got to know some time back. good to reconnect with old friends.

hong kong & macau - day 1

i made the decision to leave country for my second week of my leave. this week is when i can expect a lot of emails and calls as the year has started and most would be returning from their annual leave. nonetheless, i thought it’d be useful to let my staff manage themselves and not rely on me to make decisions. and so, with my knapsack ob my back, i headed off to hong kong for a 5-day trip (3 days if you were to exclude the inbound and outbound days). of cos, i left message with a couple of senior people within my team to text me via my personal mobile if they need me to come in.

it felt good to return to hong kong. been a year since a last visited and i missed the walking. this time round, i also decided that i would do things beyond what i had done previously, and i had also wanted to return sy's t-shirt and shorts to him (he stayed over my place last year and had forgotten to bring it back when he returned to hk). so here’s my thoughts for my trip thus far (am writing this entry in the ferry ride to an offshore island on day 3).

i made a visit to the sinseh once i landed. an ex-colleague mentioned to me before that this particular sinseh was really good in treating backaches. i decided to head straight to the place after leaving the airport as i didn’t want to be late. it took some efforts to locate the place as it was located in an old building. The clinic was no bigger than 10sq meters and the space was crowded with a massage chair, a sofa, some office cabinets, an altar, and a working table.

it was interesting that he diagnosed the cause of my backaches to be my left foot. interestingly, it was this leg that suffered a cracked metatarsal years ago. he explained that my whole body was in a state of imbalance due to this leg and went on to describe very accurately the pains that i had also experienced in my right buttocks, my back, my spine, my neck, and shoulder. amazingly, he also mentioned that as a result of all these misalignment, i also have gastric reflux as my rib cage has exerted pressure on my stomach. with this diagnosis, he went on to use his qigong to treat me. quite interesting right? anyway, i didn’t have too much expectations as releasing some pressure is a temporary solution compared to the cause which is an issue that cannot be resolved so quickly.

it was late evening when i finally checked in to the hotel. and for the rest of the trip, i decided to just not plan too much and just go with the flow. but of cos, broadly, i told myself my bucket list for this trip would include a trip to macau, a trip to lamma island to do some trekking and to catch up with some hong kong friends.

:-)

year end trip - kuching

decided to join my friends (ex-colleagues) for a trip to kuching over the weekend. left on friday evening and return on sunday night, just in time before the start of the new year. there were altogether 5 of us - myself and 2 couples. i simply tagged along. here's some highlights of the trip:

• it was another trip back in time for me. the town reminded me of singapore back in the 70s/ 80s. come to think of it, other than kuala lumpur, most other malaysian towns reminded me of singapore back in the 70s/ 80s. having said, i must say the city has this really beautiful charm about it. for a start, i loved the fact that they are modern yet very traditional. and it was so heartwarming to be able to converse with them in hokkien - something that we don't get so often these days in singapore.

• we visited one of the nature reserve and came close to quite a few orang utans. we were lucky that when we were there, quite a few (i think there was about 7-8 of them) came out of their forest hideouts to meet us. the drive to the nature reserves reminded me of brunei jungle! and i was so totally at home with the forest and the natural environment! lovely.

• we passed by this borneo museum of house or something and decided to pay a visit. after all, karen wanted to visit a long house (and i say dwellers of longhouses practice communal sex - haha) but we couldn't find one along our route back to the city from the nature reserves. and so, we decided to visit this museum as the name kinda suggest it will show us the different dwellings found in borneo - include the longhouse. we couldn't be more wrong. we paid rm29 per head and what we found were lotsa paintings of scenes in kuching, food, etc where we could pose with. nothing fanciful about it. but well, we did make the best of it and gamely took tons of photos with all sorts of different poses and had a good laugh out of it.

• we ate lotsa food during the trip. it was just non-stop eating and eating and frankly, the s$100 i changed went almost entirely to food! we had kolo mee, wanton mee, oyster omelette, crispy oyster omelette, fried carrot cake - both black and white, bbq stingray, deep fried chicken wings, pork satay, sarawak laksa, deep fried tapioca, duck, char siu, roast pork, bamboo chicken, hokkien mee, prawn mee, char kway ciao, apom balik, mee sua, ice cream, local chinese snacks (soon kueh, orh kueh, etc)... and many many more. we were literally stuffing ourselves through the trip. crazy right? lol.

• we made a trip to a pasar malam (night market) almost 20km away from the city center. it was kinda crazy to be driving in the dark for almost half the time but we reckon it was kuching and that it didn't make sense to have well-litted roads to many of the outlying areas. the place was kinda interesting. at one moment, we were in the middle of nowhere and the next moment, we were in a small single road lined with old shop houses and on the road were rows and rows of tables filled with people eating and merry making, complete with people that sportingly took their place on a stage and belting out all sorts of old chinese songs.

• we took a walk around the old lorongs near the river and there were many many stores selling local sarawakan handicraft. it was rather interesting and reminded me of singapore's arab street. we also managed to take a sampan ride on the sarawak river. had to negotiate the price with the old man as the sampan was used to transport passengers across the river instead of "cruising the river". the half hour ride was rather nice as we were able to view some of the iconic buildings along the river that include the government office, the istana (they spelled it astana), some old but grand-looking mosques, etc.

• the hotel room was a tat too eerie for me. i walked in, the room looked decent and big enough. but for some reason, the toilet gave me the creeps. it's that kinda feeling where you look in and you feel that something is amissed. i didn't get a good feeling walking in and whatever i do inside, be it showering, brushing my teeth, taking a dump etc, i cannot help but feel there is something beside or behind me. anyway, this was the first time i slept in the hotel room with the lights turned on. i was glad it was only a 2-night stay.

of cos the trip was not entirely about touristy sights cos we also managed to squeeze in a visit to the temple, some shopping, karaoke session and a movie! lol! i had visited kuching once before in the mid-90s and i totally do not have any memory of what it looked like. all i vaguely recalled was that i stayed with kathy's family and she (and ron) brought me around the place to eat their local food and visited some touristy places. anyway, this trip was a restful one with all the logistics and planning done by christy.

it was indeed a good break.

2017 - year of work

i don't think i'll do a long post this time round (compared to previous years). 2017 will be known as the “year of work”. no second thoughts about it. after 2 years of crazy roller coaster rides, 2017 had been relatively quiet and boring in almost all aspects. and this was, to a large extent, due to the all-consuming work throughout the year. but it was a welcome change ironically. work was a necessary evil as i had started a new job and needed to learn on the run. it also provided me the legitimate excuse to run away from all the issues that happened in my personal life. and on this note, i shall start my annual reflection.

work/ professional development

i started the year telling myself i want to learn, and i want to give my best in my new job. i did. and more. my new job started in jan 17 and it was a superbly steep learning curve for me given that the scope of the job was huge, the people were new, and it was a totally new industry for me! it didn't help that i had very difficult people around me within my team - people who played politics, were not cooperative, resistant to change and who chose to align themselves to the previous lead's practises. it was really painful for me. but in perspective, the year started well. lots of learn and lots of support from the team and the bosses. it helped for the fact that everyone was very co-operative. added to this, the team rallied around me very strongly because i was able to engage them and reach out to them. this was a huge contrast to my predecessor that was very task-driven and had only focused all the attention on one particular person (and on a very personal basis as they were very close friends). as time passes, this person began to express frustrations about my management style - that i was not hard enough with the rest of the team, that i should be more like my predecessor and tell people to do, and if they don't to simply punish them. this was simply not my style. and after the inability to demand a change in my style of management, together with a couple of other frustrations (e.g. of not getting the attention needed, not getting the promotion, etc), this person left. i realised how much a trouble maker this person was after the departure as all the things that was swept and hidden under the carpet started to surface - processes messed up, budget mismanaged, etc. i was glad this person left. it was for the longer term good. anyway, for a good part of the last couple of months, i was hell busy covering the responsibilities of a couple of vacant headcount. i took them in stride and didn't pressure myself to hire anyone hastily. told myself i will recruit the right people for the job. very glad that as of now, two positions have been closed. one more to go. next year will definitely going to be a lot better.

bee

similar to last year, i didn't have many things to write about bee this year. i started off the year with little to no expectations and just wanted to do my part. things went relatively well and we had our frequent meet ups for meals. and one thing remained constant - he could never take time off to go for a break with me, even if it was for the weekend. it was frustrating to plan for trips consistently, just to end up with him pulling out in the end and with me going for the trip alone. things began to spiral downwards when he started to venture into a new business. increasingly, the time available got less and the neglect increase. it was rather unbearable at times, although i must say many a times i was able to use my own work to escape. work helped fill his absence and it helped somewhat. as for him, he didn't want to talk much about his work and i had to find out from others about what he's doing. didn't like this but this was just how things were. we hardly communicate anymore. everything about his these days are only about his work. it is in this context that friends came in important for me. my friends filled the gap this year whenever they could.

friends

i wanted to expand my social space and deepen my friendship at the start of 2017. in this area, i rate this aspect a “fail”. things didn't turn out as i had wished. in perspective, the year started well for me as my friends rallied around me when i changed jobs. for the first half year, the dinner meet ups were frequent and they would come all the way down to town for dinners and to catch up if i could not meet them closer to their workplace. and there were also lotsa activities including travelling to india to attend a wedding, movies, dinners, etc. anyway, time with friends peaked around jun but dipped subsequently due to both increased pressure from work and the unfortunate incident where i got angry with someone from the group i usually hang out with. and given the fact that i usually take a prolonged time to move on with such incidents, time with friends eventually took a lower priority in the second half of the year. it didn't helped that everyone also got busy with their respective work as the year picked up. eventually, the time together with friends began to taper downwards and the connections to my friends got looser towards the end of the year. these days, if i have any time, i would simply blast the whatsapp group and ask if anyone is free for dinner as it was almost impossible to have dinner with bee as he would be working. and often, i will end up eating alone.

but lest i trash myself too much about this, i must say that i did managed to make a couple of nice people from grindr. you see, with the extra me-time, i sought friendship online via grindr. i supposed within grindr, there were quite a few lonely souls who were looking and reaching out to people for friendship and to fill their own respective void. for the few that i got to know, it was interesting that i ended up some sorts of an uncle agony as they shared their issues about relationships and thoughts. and this, perhaps, is another gift I have that i had not previously mentioned - i am natural when it comes to coaching people about life. i have the natural tendency to want to reach out to people in trouble and to coach them. perhaps this is an extension or manifestation of my buddhist self. but the irony of it all was that i have quite a bit of my own challenges in my own personal life that i myself cannot manage. whatever.

personal life

i created this additional heading this year to capture how this year had impacted me personally. i kept to myself, increased my visits to the cemetery and went into the cyberworld - a world of make believe. you see, with increased me-time, lesser friends-time, and even lesser bee-time, i found my heading to places where i could escape to find the solace i need. and i found myself heading to spend time at the cemetery almost every other week. the cemetery is a quiet place and it felt very good to be able to visit my late parents' niche, even if my visits usually lasted less than 10-15minutes. the increased time to myself also meant i felt lonely often. and being somewhat an anti-social person, i invariably end up online. and so gay porn websites (such as pornhub, xtube, etc) and social media apps (such as instagram, tumblr, grindr, and to a lesser extent - jack'd and hornet) became my main escapes. these sites and apps allowed me an alternate world where i was able to indulge myself and to expire whatever frustrations or excess energies i had or needed to vent. in gay websites and tumblr, i indulge in lots and lots of porn - gay porn to be specific. and in instagram, i gained insights into how my friends spend their time, even as i flaunted my own daily experiences. and of cos, via gay social apps such as grindr, jack'd and hornet, i found my friendships. such were the escapes that featured in much of my me-time throughout the year. amidst all these, i had continued to avoid facebook as i didn't want to partake nor be aware of how bee continued to flaunt his selfies and his indulgence in praises from people online as he had done previously. do you think this is a very sad state of affairs? well, maybe. but i allowed me to keep myself sane and to cope with the pressures at work, the decreased time with friends and the increasing neglect by bee. 

health

i am not sure if i am depressed but i do often feel sad and have the tendency to withdraw into a world of my own. that aside, i thought i fared generally well in the areas of health and wellness, apart from one or two minor scares. the year started quite uneventfully. after so many years of back aches and pains, the orthopaedic specialist finally confirmed that i had a herniated disc and that was the main issue that was the cause of my constant back pains. the consciousness that i had a herniated disc made me a little more careful with myself when it came to posture, walking, exerting pressure on my back, etc. glad this consciousness helped although there were a couple of occasions where the back flared up. i also had quite a few bouts of near missed with flu and nasty issues but on the whole, i thought my health was ok. i half suspect this was the result of the high intensity of work where i was literally not able to fall sick. the adrenaline levels was just that high at work that it continued to push my limits. the thing about such adrenaline rush was that after every major activity, i would just collapse in total exhaustion. that, perhaps, was the only times where i was able to take a break - by falling temporarily sick. by the end of the year, i had totally burnt out. there was, however, a health scare mid year where one day where i felt a little stinking pain as i washed my foreskin. there was a little tear. i had this several times previously when i washed myself too roughly. such tears usually heal by itself after two day or so. but this time round, it didn't. the tear grew into a sore that grew larger and got inflamed. it freaked me out and i eventually sought medical help. the doctor told me i had been “too rough” but to make sure there was nothing more nasty, i was put through a hiv test. the test turned out negative. thankfully. there seemed to be a few things developing towards the end of the year - i've started developing a bad migraine since nov, i also noticed that my eyesight had deteriorated significantly in recent months, and there is also an increased inability to remember things/ forget things. anyway, i hope these issues don’t get any worst in the coming year.

bloggers/ blogging

i wanted to continue to blog and i think i did although i must say the motivation to do so was really not there. there were so many times where i entertained the idea of abandoning this blog. i was just too unmotivated to blog. i didn't have the energy to do so, especially after a long hard day at work. and so my habit of blogging daily to capture my daily reflections eventually died. i ended up blogging once a week, and later, once every two-three weeks. moving ahead, i am not sure if i can still keep up this habit but i will try. i still believe that all things being equal, blogging will continue to provide me the space to capture my thoughts, document my life, connect with friends and more importantly, provide me the space to look back, reflect and to learn about myself.

conclusion

on the whole, this year has been very intense for me. work-wise, it was all-consuming. the lack of emotional support from bee was overwhelming many a times and towards the end of the year, i found myself getting more and more irresponsible to myself when it comes to living my own life. i know things are wrong but on the other hand, i continued to indulge in it as it allowed me the momentarily escape into a world where i felt accepted and right. i shan't talk too much nor elaborate about it here. negatively, i am destroying myself although positively, this is a continuation of my life's journey and experiences towards self-discovery. this is perhaps an issue, but... whatever. i end 2017 with not much resolutions nor thoughts for 2018 except with the hope that i will be a happier person in 2018. and to achieve that, i think a good start would be to look inwards and to address my own expectations about people around me.

happy 2018 everyone.

mature men...

while i still get infrequent messages from people in grindr, i also noticed increasingly that the profiles that drop me messages are those that prefer mature guys. while this in itself is quite flattering, the words on the profile can be rather depressing. one particular profile read "i like old men" as his intro. terrible right? although technically, the word “old” is correct but it just sounds so... erm... old. why not just use the term "mature" or "daddies"...

we mature men will know what you mean.

lol!

day trips - melaka

clearing some leave these two weeks and decided to do an impromptu day trip to melaka yesterday. and instead of taking the expressway (which will take me about 3hours), i decided to take the coastal road. have never taken this road before and thought it would be interesting. 

and after clearing the customs, i took the route less travelled and drove through pontian, batu pahat, and muar, and a lot of smaller kampongs before arriving at melaka late afternoon. the whole journey took me almost 7 hours. but it was an interesting drive. have not seen the kampongs along the coastal areas and it was indeed refreshing. reminded me of my childhood days as well as the brunei kampongs when i did my national service back in the 80s. what struck me most was the clear segregation of malays and chinese as i drove. it was not difficult to identify chinese houses vs malay houses. and i also do not see them interacting like the way we do in singapore. perhaps this is the outcome of their race-based politics. anyway, that's malaysia.

melaka was a huge disappointment. it has totally lost its old world charm. used to visit it in the 80s, 90s and early 2000. then, jonkers street was full of life and you can experience lotsa street/ hawker stores selling all sorts of local goodies and crafts. very authentic and very lively. these days, and i suspect it was after the awarding of the world heritage status, the place was so crowded and commercialised, many shops were replaced with new manicured shops selling souvenirs (that looks imported from china), and the local food that does not taste anything like it used to, and you even get international brands like h&m selling clothes! i entertained the thoughts of driving up to ipoh taiping. i thought i would be nice to pay a visit to my uncle (if he is still alive). my mum had spoken very fondly of him when she was alive. was glad i managed to hunt down his number and they had a short chat. i didn't head north in the end. it would have been another 400-over km to drive and i didn't think i was up to it. arrived back in singapore close to midnight.

was a very tiring trip. nothing much per se but i supposed such "throw-back to the past" trips are wonderful fodder for the soul once a while. i will be heading to kuching tomorrow with my ex-colleagues and will return on sunday. the last time i visit this city in east malaysia was in 1994 (?) and it reminded me of singapore in the 60s. i am not expecting too much this trip too. perhaps some nature visits, or trekking. most importantly, i am looking forward to the company.

blowjobs

if there's one word in the english dictionary that is a misnomer, or for that matter, an indicator that the english dictionary has not caught up with times, it would be - blowjob.

it totally does not describe the act at all! firstly, no one blows "it". the act of "blowing" involves expulsion of air from the mouth. and unless one is trying very hard to blow dry a wet "one", there is act has absolutely no blowing at all! frankly, and in my own humble opinion (and experience), there's no word that can accurately describe the act that comprise a combination of tongue twirling, sucking, in-out movement, the messy saliva, the occasion gag, and the emotional connection associated with the whole act of (short of a better word) a "blowjob". and since i'm at this topic, i must also say i'm quite amused by two derivatives of this word - "blower" and "blowee"... lol!

ok, this is a random post.

on a more serious note. you can check this site for some background of the word "blowjob": https://www.bustle.com/articles/62120-why-is-it-called-a-blow-job-when-there-isnt-any-blowing-5-mysteries-of-oral

naughty or nice

christmas (or the first day) has come and gone. so...

have you been naughty or/ and nice?

i've been superbly naughty, and i'm not referring to the wining and dining.

go figure...

merry christmas everyone!

of chicken & turkey

jeremy invited me for a christmas dinner and i volunteered to get the turkey. i placed an order for it at a local french restaurant and made the appointment to collect the turkey at 1.30pm christmas eve.

in no time, christmas eve arrived and i came to collect it. when i arrived, i was asked to wait as they had to pack it. as i waited, i reread the order form and noted that it will be about 4.8-5.3kg. after sometime the service staff gave me two bags, thanked me and bade me farewell.

i took it and walked off. as i walked i thought the bags were a little too light and the size didn't seem right. it was too small for a turkey. i decided to return to the restaurant and asked if what they gave me was a turkey. the service staff came up to me and said oh, you've order roast chicken and that's what we gave you....

hmmm... i showed him my order form and clarified that they have given me a wrong order as i had ordered a roast turkey. he stared at me for a while and then turned to his kitchen staff - who said no it's correct cos jeremy ordered roast chicken. for a while, i wondered how the hell they know the food was for jeremy... anyway, i simply went up to them and showed them my order form. i am not jeremy. i am jeffrey.

it was then that they realised they had prepared another customers' order for me. so... well, i got the turkey in the end and all's well.

:-)

weaver

i reflected about what i was strong in following a recent event and concluded that my natural strength was in weaving stories. here's why.

i performed recently in the department concert. as a "new comer" to the department, everyone must perform in at least one department event - such as christmas, d&d, chinese new year, etc. for me, it was to be the christmas concert. i had postponed it a few times and couldn't do so this time round as it was the last performance of the year. so a group of us came together and we decided to put up a skit. it was a nonsensical skit based loosely on a children tale and in this tale, we convolute it with characters from harry porter, father christmas, foxes, reindeers, etc. it was actually quite funny. 

in this skit, i was the narrator and i had to also double up as one of the characters. the team lead put in a lot of effort to script the whole skit, complete with cues etc to guide the change of background and props etc. but i insisted i will not follow the scripted text, i will just go with the flow depending on the audiences' reaction. to me, it was important to deliver not just a skit, but a production that engages the audience at the same time. this, i rationalised, would make the production very natural and we would not be too stressed with having to adhere to specific lines. the team lead also choreographed a dance as an end to the performance. 

due to our tight time schedule, we only managed to meet 4-5 times to discuss the plot, develop the story, and rehearse the production. so, you can imagine how unpolished our performance was. but we went ahead, assuring ourselves that the concept of engaging the audience would help mitigate any flaws in the production. and so, after a couple of rehearsals, it was showtime. happily, the whole performance was very well-received. everyone enjoyed it. there was a lot of laughter, a lot of participations and everyone joined in the fun. the great thing about such responses was that it reinforces itself and the outburst of laughters was very spontaneous and very contagious. 

we walked out of this whole performance feeling very high and we were voted the best performing team by the audience. i reflected on the success and came to a conclusion (yet again) that apart form the teamwork, the narration and audience engagement played a big role. but looking at the amount of "mistakes" i made, i was able to twist and turn the outcome such that it seemed natural. the so called mistakes were mistakes to me, but to everyone else, they thought it was deliberate. in another words, i was natural when it came to storytelling. linking this experience with all the many other speeches, training, etc that i did, i concluded i have a natural tendency to refuse scripted text. i allowed my articulation of anything (my speech, the skit, etc) to flow according to the "feel" and i was always guided by key points rather than fixed scripts. and one thing stood out for me - i was able to weave little bites of everyday things into what i say and it came out very naturally. it was always very impromptu, very spontaneous and very instinctive. and consistently, it was these little bites that made the difference.

so yeah, i think i am a natural weaver. a weaver of stories. a weaver who is able to connect dots and articulate it as a story. it explained the good feel people get when they attend my trainings. i was able to infuse my personal experiences into the concepts taught, and most importantly, deliver it naturally. proud of myself.

:-)

51

today marked the start of my 51st year on this planet.

uneventful. quite a few wishes from my friends throughout the day. and truth be told, the first wish that came in this morning by edwin made me smile. i was feeling somewhat down these few weeks given the constant neglect by bee. it was his work all the time and there was hardly any attention by him. i was so totally pissed off. he didn't even wish me happy birthday (not that i was yearning for it)... and it was non-stop unfulfilled promises - i'll go bangkok with you, i'll come back by this time, i'll do this, or i'll do that, or... and so, with an email from edwin from faraway, it felt good. it made me smile. thanks edwin.

the rest of the day passed by uneventfully. i told myself i will make the best of today. woke up, went for breakfast, and headed to my late-mum's place to place the property-tax letter into the postbox. i was not about to pay the tax now that i had handed over the property to my brother. he should jolly well settle it himself. went to pay respect to my parents after that. visiting the cemetery has been a routine for me these days. on my way home, i decided to give myself a birthday treat and booked an appointment for a body massage in the afternoon. it was just so relaxing. i was so relaxed and felt exhausted by the end of the day, i simply collapsed in bed for a nap. woke up early evening, changed up and headed to town to attend a colleague's son's wedding. 

that was how i spend my birthday. told myself that only i can take care of myself and i kept reminding myself not to feel disappointed with bee, although frankly, i was on the verge of telling him that if his work is so important to the point of neglecting me (since the last couple of years), then we might was well call this relationship off. 

but well, let's not think too much and just focus on myself.

:-)

star wars viii - the last jedi

the show started off rather slow and the pace was inconsistent. nonetheless, i still enjoyed the movie. there were so many twists but in the end, it all made sense. i particularly enjoyed how many of the characters of star wars past appeared. loved it.

murder on the orient express

i was totally exhausted when i went to watch this show with my ex-colleagues. i was half asleep throughout the show. having said that, it was such a good thing that i caught the start and the end very clearly and i could appreciate how deeply this whole uncovering of the plot affected poirot so profoundly it changed his thinking. stellar casts, very strong acting, and overall a very charming and stylish production.

justice league

frankly, i had expected more from this show. a little disappointing. nonetheless, it was entertaining and a good fitting end to a stressful week before my trip to sydney.

my nov work trip to bangkok

i spend a week in bangkok for work. this was the week after my sydney trip and i had only one day in singapore to catch up with errands, laundry and to squeeze in a wedding lunch. anyway, the trip to bangkok was a crazy one. i was the main co-ordinator for a global hr conference and it was quite a hell to be a co-ordinator, a logistician, a master of ceremony, tour guide, etc all rolled into one. but all said and done, the event went well and it was good that everyone had a good experience. the event ended on thursday and my colleagues left on friday afternoon, by which time i was so exhausted i slept my way through the afternoon. i took the opportunity to extend my trip through the weekend. 

it was my first trip to bangkok in 12 years and i was totally lost. bee had agreed to spend the weekend with me but, as usual, he didn't in the end as he had to work (again). and as i had time all to myself, i ended up sleeping and just lazing in my room and exploring grindr to check out the gay men in bangkok. i was bored and unmotivated to head out to explore the city. and i got messages from people who are massage boys, gay men from overseas including cambodia, japan, etc. haha... it was just so unproductive and i felt so bored. the furthest i dragged myself to on friday night was to a small street market next to my hotel for some food before heading back to my room to watch the news on tv and explore people in grindr. 

saturday, however, was rather eventful. you see, on friday night, i texted someone (whom i got to know in singapore) in grindr to ask if there are any place that i should visit (he claimed he's thai). and that was when i found out that he wanted to fly to bangkok but could not get a hotel room as all were booked or were too expensive. and so i offered him half my bed. he was kinda surprised to get such a offer but accepted it and went ahead to book an air ticket right away. i had never done such a thing before - offering my bed to strangers but well, i wanted to help (really). i regretted almost immediately after i offered but i kept my word. i regretted cos of the reaction i got. suddenly, i got all the drama - omg, i send u my pic so that you are ok with me, are you sure? are you ok with me? omg omg omg! are you sure you are ok with me, i mean... are you sure?... i was literally caught off guard with such a response and i told him straight off that i was merely providing him a space and he need not send me any photo, etc. you sure right? if i turn up at your door and you don't let me in, i'll freak out... he went on... for me, it was a simple case of - you come, take half the space, do your own stuff, i do my own stuff - simple as that. but for him, whatever was in his mind, he was just so over the top drama. i came to a point where i had to tell him that if he still go on drama-ing, i'll take back my offer. he stopped after that...

anyway, he arrived the next day (saturday late morning) with a huge luggage! and from the start, the whole conversation, the topics, the chemistry. everything was totally off. the interaction was so awkward. i wanted to just ask him to mind his own business but i couldn't. he went on and on and on non-stop. and so, the awkward conversations and exchanges saw me testing my boundaries in my responses when i felt the conversation was heading in the wrong direction. i ended up being so bloody firm with him and many-a-times, i had adopted the most condescending tones and at some points, i had to tell him off and to put him in the right place. and despite all these, he didn't seemed to get my point and instead gushed at how objective and mature a person i was, very "man" (wtf). and as a gesture of thanks he offered (insisted was the right word) to bring me to chatuchak, he went on and on about how bad he'd feel if i didn't allow him to show me to chatuchak. at chatuchak, he tried to grab my elbow and i had to push his hand away, not without telling him firmly i don't do physical contacts in public. i added that the only person whom i allowed such contacts was my partner. and i told him i wanted to explore the place on my own. in the end, we parted and i didn't head back to hotel until almost 10pm saturday night. i didn't want to interact with him.

that night, i retired to bed and as usual, i kept to the side of my bed. and he reached out and tried to pull my hand, and said something like do you want to sleep closer to me or something along this line. i was rather pissed off with him and told him off "i offered you half my bed out of goodwill and if you dare touch me in the middle of the night, i swear i would throw you out of the room right away". he didn't stop and i thought he didn't get my very explicit message for he added, why do you sleep at the side of the bed, come towards me la... i had half my mind to chase him out but held my patience and simply told him that sleeping at the side of my bed was my habit, and he added "but i scared you fall off the bed"... this response lost me totally and i half-raised my voice and said "stopped mommy-ing me! i have lived up to 50-over years on earth and even my mum did not ask me to not sleep at the side of my bed!". i thought he got my message after this for he quietly retreated to his corner and kept quiet. i simply ended the conversation by half ordering him to "go sleep!". the night passed peacefully for me. thankfully.

anyway, i was so glad he eventually checked out on sunday. i did so too not too long after that. i don't think i will ever offer my bed to people anymore in future. 

my nov work trip to sydney

was in sydney for a week in nov to conduct a global program at one of my company's subsidiary office. and while i was there, many many meetings were arranged for me to get to know the people there, not to mention the non-stop emails from singapore that had to be attended to at the same time. then again, it was not all work and no play. managed to steal away on 2 evenings to catch up with ps (a friend from singapore who migrated to australia) and my cousin (and his partner). and that was really good. and it was during this week that australia voted to legalise same-sex marriage. 

on the day i landed, i took the opportunity to visit the harbour bridge areas (including the opera house), qvb and oxford street. one cannot visit sydney without visiting the opera house right? and i was shocked with what i saw - huge crowds of people, and i mean huuuuge. i don't remember it being so crowded. when i last visited it about a decade back, there were lotsa spaces when i visited opera house and the sydney harbour bridge areas. this time, it was so jam packed with people, it was impossible to take a photo of the opera house without more than half the background filled with people. sighs... i left the place almost immediately after i reached. 

i also visited oxford street - sydney's gay street. this gay mecca was a place not to be missed for me.  but i was disappointed. the place was dead. my first visit to oxford street was in 1994 and i visited the place again in the early 2000. back then, the place was so vibrant. there were lotsa activities, crowds, lights and sounds... and people from all over the world converge there to witness the lively gay scene. and there were many many gay bars that compete to show who was more rauncy - lives shows, a-go go-boy shows, etc. while i didn't visit any of these shows, it was in one of oxford street's porn shops that i had my first live view of orgies, blowjobs, etc. but all these had disappeared. it was all quiet when i visited it. even the porn shop that i walked into looked tired, dated and almost dead. my cousin shared that if i wanted to see the crowd, i should visit it on fri and sat midnight. then again, he acknowledged that the level of energy these days could not be compared to the past.

i had dinner with ps on one of the evenings. time flies, it had been 4-5 years since she migrated there. and it was really good to be able to catch up with her. i was so happy to know that she's been relatively well and to see that she's in good shape and generally happy with her life. it was such a huge contrast to the life she led when i first know her almost a decade back. also, i met up with my cousin and his partner too. had the chance to visit their house (for the first time) and it was really nice! it felt really warm to have a family member whom i could talk openly and i believe he felt the same too. it was also obvious that both he and his partner had aged. they looked older physically than when i met them the last time. then again, it’s the path of time that all of us have to go through. i was happy that they are still doing great.

anyway, i was glad the programs ended well. didn't have as much time as i'd like to myself. nonetheless, it was good to catch up with ps and cousin. 

eating cum

to be specific, fish cum... ok ok, fish sperm, as stated in the menu.

you see, germs and frank came back over the weekend and we ended up at a japanese restaurant on saturday evening. and there was this very interesting item in the special menu of the month that says "fish sperm". so, we gamely ordered it. the waiting staff explained that it's fish sperm tempura and that kinda set us wondering how the hell sperm can be deep fried (i am sure our mental image was that of human sperm). and it was funny how the female waiting staff explained that it's sperm tempura with such a straight face.

we ordered it and happily chatted away and when the dish was served, it kinda surprised us (or me at least). i had fish sperm soup before in another japanese restaurant and the amount of sperm in the bowl was small, not much different from the volume of our own human ejaculate. but this time round, what i saw on the plate was the size of fish balls! no, no, no pun nor was i suggesting fish sperm came from fish balls. it's totally not possible too. hahah...

anyway, yeah... there were deep fried fish ball-sized tempura fish sperm in the plate! i took one and tasted it and, well, it actually tasted sweet and it has a texture no different from three quarter boiled egg white. but of cos, the whole idea of me eating such humongous (relatively speaking) amount of cum and the mental image of the cock, the smell of the human cum and all made the whole dinner experience somewhat awkward.

haha... before i deviate from the topic of fish sperm... the size of the tempura cum made me wondered what kinda fish could have generated such copious amount of cum! either that or there must have been tons of fishes that is needed. and of cos, the whole process of getting the fishes to cum (as in orgasm) and to collect the ejaculate, it's hard not to have the mental picture of how we humans do it! hmmm, hahahhaha! and i seriously wonder if it could have been whale sperm instead?

whatever the case, there was just too much going on with the catching up that we didn't pursue this topic further. so yes, i ingested a lot of cum over the course of a nice peaceful saturday evening! fish cum.

second anniversary

my mum's second death anniversary will be this coming 16 nov. time flies right? and as i will be in sydney during that week, i decided to do the prayers over the weekend. decided not to buy the full suite of vegetarian food etc and just go with fruits. it's the thoughts that counts.

agree?

filling vacancies

am happy that i am able to finally fill two of the three vacant positions i have at work. been a heavy load on my team and myself. the two new persons had both worked for me in my previous employments. glad they are joining me. look forward to having them with the team!

preparing for my trips

i will be departing for sydney to run a leadership program this coming weekend and will be there for the whole of next week. it's gonna be a superbly hectic week as the people there have planned a series of non-stop meetings for me during the program itself. haiz... 

nonetheless, i look forward to being there. have made arrangements to meet up with ps during one of the nights. been a while since i caught up with her. let's see how it goes, i might be able to also catch up with my cousin.

:-)

blocking people in grindr

i cannot take it when people gets mushy with me and call me dear, love, and what have you. and despite telling them that i am not their dear and love, and that i prefer they do not address me as such (cos in the first place, i don't even know them), they responded with "why honey?". as for me, my response? i block them.

no need to think twice about it.

all the angst

i have no patience with anyone who refuses to listen, close their minds to possibilities and ideas, and above all, keeps harping on how things were done previously. and i didn't like it when despite trying to explain, i get interjected again and again, until i have to eventually use a very firm tone and call the team stop it and let me finish what i have to say before they speak their thoughts! need such tones once a while to get the conversation going, even if it meant making people feel uncomfortable. and i do admit that i myself am very uncomfortable to use such tone of voice.

i have never gotten into situations where i have to use such firm tones (almost to the point where i sound mad) as much as in the recent months. things at work are in a state of fundamental change and despite the months of framing, rationalisation, communications efforts, and workshops to align and bring people along with change, i still get people who focus inwards onto their own areas when issues arise and choose to adopt a "last time, this was how it was done and i expect this to still be done now" approach rather than a more productive approach of "ok, let's see how we can work this out together".

hard not to lose my top! darned! i think this work is creating all the angst in me. i am beginning to also not like myself.

lol!

thor: ragnarok

this is such a pleasant movie to watch. the thor (played by chris hemsworth) in this movie is very different from the thor of the previous editions. he's a lot funnier and whoowwww... with his short hair, he's so bloody hot (not that he was not previously)! it's nice that be able to see quite a few characters such as dr strange, hulk, etc coming together.

watched it over thursday night and ended up heading to work on friday feeling superbly tired. and then watched it again on friday night at the imax theatre in 3d format. frankly, the 3d is nice but it gets a little uncomfortable when it is in imax as it is really into your face.

quick reflections about my trip

was in osaka and kyoto over the last weekend. here's some quick thoughts:

• the place was crazy busy. and it wasn't even tokyo. but generally, i amazed me to see how people are so organised and observed basic courtesies. it's a very japanese thing - being courteous and civil.

• having said that, there was an overwhelming number of koreans and chinese. so much so that the public announcements urging people to refrain from eating or drinking when they walk, or when they shop, etc, included the korean and chinese versions (in addition to the japanese version).

• it was really interesting to see novel ways of marketing stuff. for example, i walked pass a pharmacy and there were 2 salesgirls dressed in schoolgirl-like attire and they were doing a dance routine in unison and waving placards to encourage people to patronise their shop. in a warp way, it reminded me of japanese anime where schoolgirls has large oversized breasts and would dance around and have their breasts bouncing up and down to attract attention of the forever horny japanese guys. hmmm...

• and oh, there seemed to be a lot of cute japanese men! wow! hahah... i could almost imagine them wearing goggles, just like how they did in japanese porn! and of cos i needed to confess here. while at the temples, what caught my attention were cute guys (i don't know whether they were japanese or not) and that was the highlights of my visits to the temples. i even managed to secretly snapped a couple of photos of the cuties! lol!

• the japanese train system was amazing. short trips, inter-city trips, all sorts of variations and each one operating like clockwork. and it was interesting to observe how the train master actually walk from cabin to cabin, bowing as he entered and exit each cabin, and in between, walking slowly and deliberately as he inspected each cabin along the way. very professional.

• looking at the city as i travel from point to point, i could literally picture a scene from godzilla. from my view in the train, the houses looked like toy houses lined with street lamps and overhanging wire cables, and the houses are messily interspersed amidst tall towers. i could imagine godzilla moving around and as he moved, he would wag his gigantic tail and destroy the houses that crossed his path. lol!

• i visited the museum of history in osaka and it was amazing to observe their storytelling technique. by having the museum located in a tall building that overlooks the historical site, they were able to provide a birds' eye view of the current day real-life site, and with clever use of lights and movements, and computer-generated and videos, infuse history over the sites to bring across a story that cuts across the different times of history. impressed.
• regretfully, it rained non-stop during my 4-day stay in japan. nonetheless, i didn't let it affect me too much. bought an umbrella and did my exploration. the only issue was that the rain impacted my abilities to take proper pictures. otherwise, all's ok and good.

• above all, the cool temperature was a huge plus for me.

i will definitely head back to osaka and kyoto again.

trip to japan

it was a superbly short trip. total of 4 days. almost 2 days of flight and 2 days in japan. here's how it went.

thursday, flight from sg to kix (osaka, japan) via taipei. departed in the morning at 7am. took jetstar and all the memories of my previous employment came back as it was an a320. anyway, landed in taipei late morning, had a quick lunch, departed to kix and landed in osaka about 4-ish pm. took the train to namba and stayed at hotel ibis styles in the middle of the shopping belt. beautiful place!

friday, explored osaka. visited the imperial castle and the tenmoji temple. rained throughout due to am impending typhoon. hit back to hotel by late afternoon, took a nap and headed out to do some shopping at umeda area. by this time, gotten myself familiar with the rail system and was able to move about quite easily. but seriously, trying to the the train was a challenge as all the words were in japanese. only manage to find the english translation after some exploring. but yeah, the second day ended well.

saturday, made a trip to kyoto. had planned to visit four location including the signature fox shrine (kintara-inari shrine or something like that), the nijo palace (nijo-jo), the bamboo forest and another shrine. in the end, only managed to visit the fox shrine and the nijo-jo. there was just too many tourist and as it rained through the day, it was not a very comfortable journey as i had to walk with wet feet. worst of all, at the nijo-jo, i had a nasty fall on top of the watch tower. the floor was slippery and i was at the top of the tower taking pictures. and i missed my footing as there was a slope on the side of the stairs, and fell very badly. hit my left elbow and landed on my right loin area (didn't realize my left elbow bleed quite a bit and my right ribs were badly injured until much later). decided to abandon all other locations and took a train back to osaka to rest.

sunday was a long a arduous trip back to singapore via manila. almost couldn't take off as the typhoon was near osaka and announcements of emergency warnings of landslides and evacuations had started. thankfully, the flight took off just as widespread emergency warnings came on. it was interesting cos when i was in the plane getting reading to take off, a loud jingle came on air and it didn't sound like it was from the airplane. i look around and realised that everyone's phone had gone off. i checked my phone and there was a warning (in japanese which i couldn't understand fully except for a few chinese characters relating to emergency and evacuation). amazing.

well, arrived home safe and sound by late evening and that was my short and sharp (and very painful) break to japan.

:-) 

bad online travel agent

i learned from my colleagues that i had to clear half of my annual leave by dec 17. such "unstated" policies are practices that are expected of employees so that the company do not end up with too many uncleared leave by the end of the fiscal year end-mar. and so, i decided to take a break overseas over the deepavali week. deepavali was on wednesday and i took leave on thursday and friday. this gave me a 5-day straight period where i could go on a holiday.

as usual, bee ended up not being able to go. this time round, it was because his passport had expired. and for me, i had wanted to leverage my staff travel benefits (i am still a travel nominee of an ex-colleague) and so i had to book my tickets as late as possible to ensure there are seats for me. things was a little tricky cos i couldn't really find a location that suits my holiday criteria: weather - it must be cool. and with this one single factor, my choice got a lot limited to locations in korea, japan, china and australia. had to look through all the different locations the airline fly to and finally zoomed in onto osaka, kyoto, seoul, melbourne, tasmania, nanjing, etc. thing was - the hotels across most were very expensive... anyway cut the long story short, there were so many limitations related to flight time, hotel cost, etc that i eventually decided to use an online travel portal that sells flight and hotel packages. by that time, it was already wednesday night and i had lost one day. and to maximise my overseas stay, i chose one where the flight out of singapore was on thursday morning. so, after looking through the different portals, i decided to book one on zuji.com. that was the start of my nightmare. 

after selecting the flight, hotels, etc and made my payment, the website advised me that my payment did not go through and that i had to call the agent. time check then was 7pm. that was what i did and after speaking with the agent for almost 45minutes and doing multiple checks, i was told i should call them in 2-hours to allow them to trace the issue. before i hang up, i asked for the airline pnr number, which i was given. i then headed out for dinner and to ensure things went ok, i called my bank who assured me that the payment went through. at 10-ish pm, i call the call center again and another call agent handled my call. this one was a little bitchy and after tracing the issue, told me that they have some issues with their support team cos the airline couldn't confirm the take off and that they will resolve the issue with the airline. having worked in an airline before, i knew this was pure bullshit, but i kept quiet about it. the call center agent insisted that despite "the airline issue", i should just trust them to resolve the issue and that they will call me at about 3-4am to advise if i should proceed to the airport. 

omg, i needed to wait for their call at 3am? my check in was supposed to be 5am and they will call me at 3-4am to confirm if my holiday plans are good to go? too risky wasn't it? anyway, i hung up the phone and called the airline myself and learned that the issue was that zuji couldn't get the payment done and thus the airline couldn't issue a ticket. and piecing the whole picture together, i learned that my bank had paid zuji but zuji couldn't get the payment through to the airline. i decided to just cancel my booking and do the full booking direct with the airline and the hotel myself. and so i called the call center. this final call made me blow my top. the call agent started off sounding hostile, and then went on to give all sorts of cock and bull story blaming the airline, the hotel, etc. i told her i was from the airline industry and knew every processes in it and that she should stop blaming the airline and providing all sorts of excuses. and when i insisted that i wanted to cancel my booking, she said the booking with the hotel has been finalised and that if i chose to cancel it, the hotel will charge me full and she would only refund me the air ticket. i tried to explain to her that my contract is with zuji and not the hotel and i have every right to cancel my contract with no liabilities because nothing was issued to me at all. anyway, i was pissed off when she refused to let me talk and kept going on and on about all their policies and guidelines and how i should not insist on this and that, etc. 

i totally hated it when people refused to let me talk and kept interjecting me even as i speak and tried to explain how i cannot accept their recommendations to call me at 3-4am. she interjected me non-stop and what totally pissed me off was she said something to the effect that i have myself to be blamed for booking a flight that departs the next morning. i totally lost myself when she said that as she continued to interject me until i raised my voice and told her to stop! stop talking! don't give me all these bullshit. if zuji thinks they cannot fulfil a booking that occurs the next morning, then zuji should jolly stop selling anything and not allow people to book. and since i was managed to book an itinerary, they should very well work towards delivering the service according to the contract! and she should stop blaming the airlines with excuses cos i was from the aviation industry and i know airlines will only stop accepting new bookings 4-hours out from flight time. so to tell me they will call me 3 hours before the departure is unacceptable! and as for her, should behave like a call center agent. i was a call center agent trainer and i know how call centers work and so stop giving me all the bullshit and talk to me respectfully like you would a customer as you are trained. and above all, don't put the blame on me when i had done my checks and the issue was one of zuji not being able to make the payment and not because the airline cannot take off! when she realized i knew inside out of the aviation industry and how call centers operate, her tone changed and she stopped giving me anymore excuses.

i told her i cannot accept this and i wanted to cancel my booking and demanded a full refund - hotel, flight and insurance. and this was where she tried to full a fast one again - i'm sorry, i can get my support team to do a refund of the flight but the hotel has been confirmed and you will be charged in full the hotel charges. damned, i went back to my firm tone again! hey, hey, i have signed a contract with zuji.com and i have not signed a contract with the hotel and the flight separately. i am cancelling my agreement with zuji.com and since nothing has been delivered, i am terminating any agreement with zuji.com and expect a full refund. and she told me she had to call her hotel agent, eider yadda eider to sort this or that out... and that she would call me back later. i refused to hang up and told her i will hold the line and expect a respond from her - a respond no lesser than a full refund. i don't care whether or not the hotel agent agree or not, that is for zuji.com to manage, i reminded her. anyway, to cut the long story short again, she came back after a couple of minutes and told me they will refund me the full amount, and apologised for her behaviour. 

that was my superbly negative experience with zuji.com. i will never use them anymore.

geostorm

this is the typical environment disaster cum armageddon-themed movie except that the lead didn't die but ended up living happily ever after after he successfully prevented a global tragedy. yeah, you kinda get the idea about what the movie is about.

i liked it for reasons being (1) it had a lot of effects related to environmental disasters that one can only imagine - tsunami is the desserts in the middle east, hailstones the size of lorries in central tokyo japan, overheated underground pipes and extreme heat that resulted in explosions that caused buildings to topple over in hong kong, sudden cold wave that saw villages in dessert to freeze instantly, similar cold wave that swept through south american city of rio de janerio to go into deep freeze, tornadoes in india, widespread lightnings in florida, etc... you get it. and (2) the creativity and peek into the future where mankind eventually managed abandon country politics and came together and use technology to successfully control nature from outer space. 

but of cos, being a hollywood movie, it attempted to portray americans in the forefront and americans that eventually saved the world. not unusual and perhaps important from a revenue generation point of view? there was perhaps a deeper and more serious message about how man is destroying the environment and in the attempt to control it, ended up putting mother earth on life support. haha... then again, one should just go and enjoy the show for its entertainment value.

good show.

absence

i didn't realize i've been away for a month until sam texted me and asked if everything's ok. truth be told, i had wanted to blog many a times over the last couple of weeks but ended up being dragged all over the place and having to prioritise what's more important given my limited energies. ok, ok... i'll try to capture some of the events i've missed out in the next couple of blogs.

lol! 

d&d

it was funny how many departments hold their dinner and dance during this time of the year. my department had ours this week and it was held on a wednesday evening. and guess what? i was named as one of the best dressed male and called up on stage during the d&d. lol... so embarrassing to have to parade myself on stage. but it was a lot of fun. anyway, the flip side of having a wednesday d&d was that we had to drag ourselves to work on thursday.

heh...

kneeling

in most (if not all) asian culture, kneeling is considered the highest form of respect.

:-)

ps: whereas in america, it has been used as a show of political disrespect. what irony.

kidney stone review

i went for my medical review today to check if there are any further growth of kidney stones. this was arranged last year following my ultrasound procedure to remove the stones and the doctor wanted to review me yearly instead of every 2-3 years as he said i have a higher tendency to develop stones.

anyway, the review was relatively straight forward - went for my x-ray when i arrived and saw the specialist after that. what i want to blog today is not so much the review but rather the way it was done. you see, as my specialist was busy, my case was given to a younger doctor (probably a medical officer). this was how it went - i walked in, verified my identity, etc... and the doctor introduced himself to me. he was a young chap from the philippines and spoke with a slight tagalog accent. after introducing himself to me, he showed me my x-ray and this was how he went:

doctor: errrr, mr sim, from your x-ray, i think there might be a small stone here... (he used his finger and pointed to a spot), but errrr, but i am not sure, maybe there is no stone cos it is very unclear. so, yeah, maybe there is, but maybe there isn't. and if you compare to the left kidney, it looks clear. but for the right one, i am not too sure. maybe there is, maybe there isn't. and if it is a small one, maybe it'll pass out soon, but if there is, then maybe we have to observe. ok, tell you what, you better drink more water... and we'll see you next year.

hmmm, what an explanation. not exactly the same words, but you kinda get an idea how the debrief went. i was half-tempted to tell him, errr, doctor, maybe i have wasted my time or maybe i shouldn't have come. cos your maybes are just so iffy. well, of cos i didn't say that... but yeah, you kinda know how the whole transaction went. i acted along and thanked him for debriefing me about my condition. he said a lot but said nothing. i supposed he was young and his communications was bad. he could have said:

doctor (if i were him): mr sim, congratulations, the x-ray showed there are no large stones that warrant any immediate concerns. but having said that, we cannot rule out the possibility of small ones. this is because for x-rays the contrast is not that sharp and small-sized stones may not show up clearly. having said that, i do encourage you to continue drinking lotsa water daily. this is so that small stones, if any, can be flushed out quickly and not be allowed to develop into bigger nasty ones. so, let's review your case one year from now.

right? roll eyes...

dream of birds & butterflies

this really weird dream occurred last night (or rather, this morning).

i was travelling in a car and was on my way to a certain bus stop where bee was to pick me up. now, the driver of the car couldn't drop me at that particular bus stop as he (i think it's a he) was heading to another place. he had to make a left turn at a junction just before the bus stop and i had to alight some distance away. from where i was to alight, i could see the bus stop. now, between me and the bus stop was a huge grass patch. in the middle of this grass patch was a burning tree stump and the whole scene was very smoky/ hazy.

now imagine this, from where the car stopped, i would have to backtrack and walked to the road junction and turn left before i could reach the bus stop. but i decided i should simply cut straight across the grass patch (akin to walking the hypothenuse of a triangle) as it would save me some time. and so, i opened the car door and hopped out of the car onto the side of the road. as i hopped off, i found myself free-falling into a stream, i didn't know it was there as it was covered by the grass. thankfully (and miraculously), i managed to bounce off the grass and avoided falling straight into the stream.

interestingly, as i landed, what i thought was dry ground turned out to be ankle deep water. i took a hard look around and realised that the whole place was flooded. i knew then that i could not avoid getting my shoes wet, which by that time, had turned into army boots. yes, i was in my army field uniform (for unknown reasons). i started walking and when i reached the burning tree stump, i decided i should extinguish the fire as i didn't want the fire to spread. but when i looked closely, the fire that burnt brightly earlier had disappeared and in its place was a smouldering stump. i wanted to use the water to douse the stump but didn't have any container and in the end, i simply peed onto it. as i did so, there was a moment where i worry whether i would be contaminating the clean water. lol...

anyway, the smoke cleared after a while. at that moment, as i looked towards the direction of the bus stop, i saw quite a few multi-coloured birds perched on a tree. they were brightly coloured just like those parakeets from south america and were really beautiful. it was really amazing. i just stood there and stared at the birds. and as i did so, a few very pretty butterflies appeared in front of me. pink coloured ones...

and the dream ended there.

???

hahah...

dreamt about jeremy

i dreamt about jeremy (a good friend who calls me "kor" or "big brother") 2 nights ago. here's how the dream unfolded.

i was in a crowded place that looked like a school canteen. there were two long tables in front of me. in one table sat jeremy's brother & his partner and a whole lot of strangers. i was on the other table with quite a few strangers too. in the dream, i recalled i felt rather stressed up and unsettled. and then, jeremy appeared. i saw him walking from afar towards the canteen. in no time, our eyes met and i stood up and walked quickly towards him as he did the same. we grabbed and hugged each other very very tightly. it felt really good and we both didn't want to let go. in no time, i felt awkward as i was conscious everyone was looking at us and i loosened my grip and lightly pushed him away. and for some unknown reasons, i walked away from the scene. i tapped his brother & his partner's back as walked off.

the dream ended there. quite a weird dream that had no start and no end. i related this dream to jeremy and he simply laughed it off. well, time to get together and have a meal, he said.

hahah!

my photos

had procrastinated over this for many years and finally decided to just do it. got all my old photos reframed and touched up. decided on gold frames for the black and white photos (that have turned yellow and hence matches the gold), and silver frames for my graduation photos (that are blue based and thus go very well with silver). thought this composition is very nice. 

and so finally, my living room's main wall will no longer be blank.

sapphie @ home

i've been searching for a small dog figurine to place at my parent's niche at the columbarium for the longest time. finally found it two weeks ago and got it installed last week. cute right?

:-)

hurricane irma

i am reminded of the period where i was based in florida when i read about hurricane irma. it was an interesting experience for me to go through charley, frances, ivan, and jeanne and i cannot find any word that can fully describe how i felt. especially for charley - my first experience and driving in the dark through the everglades to take shelter in miami. my heart goes out to everyone in florida at this point in time in time as everyone awaits irma's landfall. for those who has the ability to run/ evacuate, please do so. and for those who have decided to stay put, i do wish everyone all the very best as they brace themselves for the monster.

a child's smile

an ex-colleague of mine gave me a toy shark for christmas last year - the type that is made of rubber and painted to look life-like. the whole idea about giving me a shark was because the initials of our lunch click of four spelt "jaws". no better way to make me remember the group than by giving me a toy shark right? all the more apt as it coincided with my farewell back then.

i had placed this shark on my shelf since and it had been collecting dust for the last 8-9 months. and as i did my housecleaning yesterday, i decided that i should give it to someone who would be able to appreciate it more. so i took it down the shelf, cleaned away the dust and brought it downstairs where parents and their young kids usually congregate. and sure enough there was this little toddler, no more than a year old, by the swimming pool.

he was at the age where he needed assistance to walk an extended distance. he was merry making by himself and savouring his little achievements in each little step he walked. and his mother was nearby keeping watch over him. i walked up to him, acknowledged his mother and gave the toy shark to him. he took it curiously, and within quick moments, his face glowed, his mouth gaped and his eyes opened up wide! in no time, he was making faces as he held the shark and looked into its'  face. he looked so funny! 

it was such a pleasant and heartwarming sight! his mom stood there speechless for that moment too, only to utter "he is soooo happy!" after a few seconds. and she thanked me for the toy. it's my pleasure, i said as i walked away from the little boy. 

:-) 

eyesight? mindlessness?

i am not sure if this is normal (such as due to aging), or it is something that i should be concerned about. you see, i am a person who would craft my email as i think and before sending it out, i will proofread my email content again and again to ensure i get my message right. and in the process, i will restructure my sentences, and my paragraphs in order to bring the most important point forward. this is the inverse writing technique as i was taught decades ago - it is supposedly the most effective technique to bring ones' point across.

but lately i have noticed one very interesting thing - i tend not to see things. i tend not to see my mistakes when it comes to structuring my sentences correctly. on top of that, i often end up having double words. the thing disturbing about these double words are that my mind would be thinking of one word but i will type another word. for example, when i want to type "that are", i end up typing "are are" or "that that". and i would be totally oblivious about it... and worst of it all, i don't see these double words when i proofread. i will only discover it after i re-read my mail again a day or two later.

these mistakes are getting too often to be comfortable. a case of deteriorating eye sight or a case of mindlessness? 

should i be worried?

ps: and i do the same read, reread, amend, restructure etc for my blog entries too. 

rough night

this is another show where you will watch when you have nothing else better to do. lotsa superficial girly fun, that i am sure, many gay men (like me) will be able to identify. enjoyable, fun, crazy, at times tense, but overall, just easy-going.

tinder

i downloaded tinder and experimented with it last week. it was an interesting app. had all along thought it was an app for straight people until not too recently, a gay friend mentioned he had been using it too.

the app was designed to allow only mutual matches to connect. this, i thought was unique and interesting cos it provided individuals to safeguard his/ her preferences (male or female). on the other hand, it can be quite damaging to one's ego if there is constantly no match! 

haha...

kooza

caught the last show before it ended its run in singapore over the last weekend. thought the performances were very good and enjoyed most of it. but there was one that i felt very uncomfortable, almost to the point of wanting to walk out. that was the one performed by the 3 chinese ladies where they bend their bodies... it was freakish! one performance stood out for me and that was the wheel of death. loved the overall colours and vibrance!

:-)